morning run carnage

yesterday morning i went for a run with my dad and my sister. it was the first time all 3 of us had run together - EVER. it was great and i don't take it for granted! however, the carnage on the road was disturbing. along our run, we saw: -squished frogs -a squashed gecko -a smashed crab -a schmooshed snake -a 1/2 eaten fish (i gave up on finding an "s" word to go with this one) welcome to the Florida Keys. :)

Snapshots of today

Today we went to Pigeon Key for pirate day. :) Some of us took the ferry out. Some of us walked out (on the old 7 mile bridge). Some of us ran the 2 miles out (sisters = hardcore). The girls liked the pirates. Ben just wanted to see the bobcat and John Deere tractor. We also checked out the solar system my dad and his company are installing on the island. Beautiful day!

Country Boy

We were sitting in the van last night and Ben (2 1/2 yrs old) was telling me some story (probably involving semi trucks, cranes, and bobcats).  Andy put this country song on (“Cruise)" and Ben instantly snaps into musical trance mode.  This kid loves music and loves country music, especially.  He even has boots, chaps, and a cowboy hat.  The kid would be right at home in Wyoming.

Snapshot

I'm on a work/visit trip this week. Loving the time I'm getting with family and friends!

The other day, I was sitting on the back porch. My sister, bro-in-law, and their 3 blondies (ages 8, 5, and 2) fling open the doors of the mini van and Taylor Swift's song, "Mean", comes blaring out of the van's speakers. And then each of the little offspring came bouncing out of the van, singing along at the top of their lungs.

Classic.

removing Jesus from the equation

what if you took Jesus out of the equation?

if I were to hear just that question with no context, red flags would go up and I’d say that sounded like some type of Rob Bell question.  I mean, you can’t take Jesus out of the equation.  You can’t remove Him from the Bible.  You can’t remove Him from the Christian faith.  You just can’t.

ok but what if you did?  wait – ok, stick with me here for a minute.

at worship team practice last night, we were discussing Psalm 97.  Here are the first 7 verses -

¹ The Lord is king!
Let the earth rejoice!
Let the farthest coastlands be glad.
² Dark clouds surround him.
Righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.
³ Fire spreads ahead of him
and burns up all his foes.
⁴ His lightning flashes out across the world.
The earth sees and trembles.
⁵ The mountains melt like wax before the Lord,
before the Lord of all the earth.
⁶ The heavens proclaim his righteousness;
every nation sees his glory.
⁷ Those who worship idols are disgraced—
all who brag about their worthless gods—
for every god must bow to him.

So you read that and if you’re like me, you think “Yeah…totally.  Wow, God – You are awesome!”  You can read all through the Old Testament of crazy accounts of God’s unfailing love and compassion, and also accounts of God’s wrath and justice.  But in the New Testament, you don’t read those same kinds of accounts – at least ones about God wiping out entire nations and requiring all these sacrifices to keep people in right standing with Him.  We don’t see these stories because…well…enter Jesus.  The ultimate sacrifice, our ultimate rescuer, the One who redeems us and restores our relationship with the Father.

I don’t know about you, but often when I read the Old Testament, I think “God, I don’t understand why You do the things You do, but I know You’re good and I know You’re just.  and I’m glad Jesus’ blood covers me.”

ok so now – what if you removed Jesus from the equation?

as we read Psalm 97 last night, I was challenged by this.  I re-read Psalm 97 with this in mind, and suddenly…God’s holiness and His righteousness hit me in a whole new way.

“Fire burns up His foes…His lightning flashes out across the world…the earth sees and trembles!  Mountains melt like wax before the Lord…those who worship idols are disgraced…every god must bow to Him…”

see, when I’ve read passages like this before, I think I’ve always kept Jesus in the back of my mind – yeah, God’s holiness and splendor is terrifying (beyond what I can comprehend, for sure)…but I’ve got Jesus.  I mean, in the New Testament, we are told we can boldly approach the throne of God because of Jesus (Heb. 4:14-16, for example).  it’s almost like I have grown accustomed to this feeling of entitlement, for lack of a better word.  I take it for granted that I can approach the throne of God because of Jesus.

but when you remove Jesus from the equation, when you read these Old Testament passages with the mentality of “ok, this is how God is and I don’t have Jesus here to vouch for me”…oh.  my.  goodness.  Our God, the Creator of the Universe who holds it all together…is terrifying.  He is Holy.  He is Righteous.  He is Just.  in His presence, sin cannot exist.  without Jesus, I would not exist in His presence.

I think by removing Jesus from the equation, I realize my sinful wretchedness in a whole new way.  and at the same time, I realize my need for an Advocate, an Ultimate Sacrifice that will cleanse me of my unrighteousness and allow me to come before the throne of the Holy God.

may we come to recognize on whole new levels the holiness and righteousness of God.  and may we fall deeper in love with our Savior, Jesus Christ.

our God is worthy.

my top 7 reasons for liking the snow tonight

it’s snowing right now.  it’s actually beautiful, it’s the big fluffy flakes that just gently fall to the ground.  I’d take a picture but it’s night and the camera won’t do it justice.

normally, I would be twitching involuntarily and going around with my hands in fists and exclaiming, “I HATE THIS!!”

but tonight, no.  I am quite at peace about it.  here are my top reasons (perhaps my only reasons) why:

1. The farmers/ranchers need moisture (look, I put that one first so I sound super selfless and hopefully appear to be the most humble person you know).  (please regard anything in parentheses as completely sarcastic).  No but really, they really do need the moisture.
2. I have an amazing, warm, squishy, down coat that I just got a couple weeks ago.  Not only is it amazing, warm, and squishy, but I also look like a slightly-deflated black marshmallow.  or the Michelin man.  and I feel squishy.  and it’s awesome.
3. I have super warm gloves that Cristine introduced me to last winter.  And since I went home to Florida for 1/2 the winter last year (don’t hate), now I can get more use out of them!
4. When I wake up in the morning, I don’t have to drive to work on the icy, gross, freezing, snowy roads.  My jobs rock.  The furthest I have to walk tomorrow is from my bed to the coffee pot, back to my desk in my bedroom.  Given the fabulous layout of our house, that means I don’t even have to walk outside.  it’s a beautiful thing, really.
5. I can drink the same large amount of coffee I normally drink, but now use the legitimate excuse that it helps keep me warm and my body temperature stable.
6. I have a space heater that cranks up to 80 degrees and I can have my own Jack Johnson/Bob Marley festival in my room and put on surf documentaries.
7. In 10 days, I will be in SoFla (South Florida) for 11 days.  This might be my #1 reason for being at peace with the snow tonight, but I put it last so it appears that I’m not rubbing it in.

today: random bewilderments

I had to look up the word “bewilderment” after I wrote it.  true story.  it’s like one of those words that nobody really uses a lot, but at random times it just seems like the best word to use.  I had to dictionary.com it to make sure I used it correctly.  ain’t no shame.

today as I was driving, I saw a dog on the side of the road…happily frolicking…in poop.  or a dead animal.  I couldn’t tell for sure as I drove by.  but it was wagging it’s tail and rolling around over and over.  as I passed, I laughed but felt bad for the dog’s owners.

about 50 feet past the dog, there was a cow on the side of the road that had gotten out of its pasture.  I would prefer him on my plate.  but hey, as long as he stays off the road, I’m OK.

I went to a coffee shop today, one that my cousin and i have had numerous “wow, really?” moments at.  so, normally I now just get a decaf coffee or an Americano to keep it simple.  but today, I ordered a soy hazelnut decaf latte.  because it’s Sunday.  and I was craving something sweet.  and like I said, it’s Sunday.  c’mon.  I should’ve known this wasn’t going to end well the moment the barista turned to her co-worker and said “it’s an iced coffee”. …  I interrupted her and asked if they were making my latte iced.  and she looked at me confused and said, “well yeah, that’s what a latte is - all lattes are iced.”  … oh boy.  I had to give a polite lesson in what a latte was.  to the coffee shop.  this was the same place that I once ordered decaf coffee and the barista (a different one) looked at me totally confused and asked, “so…do you like…want that brewed or…?”  … ????  over 5 minutes later, I left with milky coffee.  sigh.  I guess I’ll stick to homemade lattes.

on the flip side, one of our high school girls gave her testimony at church today and it was amazing!  I LOVE seeing God work in and thru people.  turning ashes into beauty.  it’s awesome.  we serve a GREAT God who is so much more incomparably better than bad coffee drinks.

A great day continues

So I've had an amazing day today in Denver. Went to a coffee shop and worked a couple hours-ish. Then went to Red Rocks and laid down on the amphitheater bleachers for awhile. Now I'm at a coffee shop with Rachel and we're sitting outside on the deck and it was all nice and warm until the sun went down. Then I started getting cold.

No. Wait for it...

THEN this wonderful old man comes out and turns on the outdoor heaters and lights the fire pit things. Oh. My goodness. It is so warm and cozy outside on this deck now. And I'm enjoying a good book and time with my great cousin!

Trips to Denver might have to be more frequent...

Stay classy, Stella's.

a quick status update

I wish you could be here with me right now.  I don’t even care who you are.  as long as you’re not a creeper.  assuming you’re mentally stable and healthy, I wish you could be here with me right now.

I came down to Denver for a couple nights to hang out with my cousin.  she’s at work right now, so I’m at a coffee shop.  trying to force myself to get at least SOME work done.  it is absolutely beautiful out.  the sky is so blue and the mountains are so crisp and it’s WARM!  it’s supposed to be in the 70’s today!

as I headed to the coffee shop, I had vague but pretty easy directions from my cousin on how to get there. so I headed West on the road.  and my heart nearly bursted (burst?  bursted?) out of my chest.  the view of the mountains was MAGNIFICIENT.  oh my goodness.  snow on the higher peaks.  I quickly decided I didn’t even care if I found the coffee shop, I was just going to drive West until I could get a clear view of the mountains.

then the road ended in a parking lot surrounded by buildings.  epic fail.

so I told myself if I could work for at least 2 hours at the coffee shop, I could go drink in the beauty of God’s creation.  :)

my heart is full.  I have tasted and I have seen the power of God the past 3 weeks specifically in my life.  speaking at church, leading the worship gathering, completing my first 1/2 marathon.

today is a day to breathe.

and breathe deeply the greatness of my Creator.

i am not the same

a year and 1/2 ago, if you had told me I’d be on a worship team – I may have thrown up on you (OK maybe not that extreme, but my stomach would’ve turned and I would’ve said “no…I don’t think so”)

a year ago, if you had told me I’d be living in a small town in Wyoming – I would’ve laughed and sarcastically told you you’re cute.

a year ago, if you had told me I may go a whole year without visiting the islands I call home – I would’ve said there was no way.

a year ago, if you had told me I’d be on staff at a church – I would’ve wrinkled up my face and said, “mmm…probably not”.

a year ago, if you had told me I would share for nearly 10 minutes in front of 260+ people – I would’ve ran to the giant bean bag that I love at my friend’s house, curled up in a ball, and buried myself in it for…days.

a year ago, if you had told me I’d be leading worship – I would’ve thrown up on you (no, really - that one’s for real this time).

a year ago, if you had told me I’d be leading entire worship gatherings – I probably would’ve had a heart attack right then and there.

a year ago, if you had told me all of the above would be possible by God’s power and strength – I would’ve agreed, wanting to believe God could really do that, though not totally believing God would do it.

now I can truly say I believe my God can do anything.  nearly all my life, I would’ve told you God could do anything – and I believed it.  but I didn’t always live like I believed it.  fear and worry had such a grip on my life.

I am blown away by the power of God.  I am not the same person I was a year ago because of the power of God that breaks chains of strongholds that weigh us down.  strongholds that keep us from living lives fully alive & fully dependent on our Creator.

and I am so beyond thankful for my family and friends who God’s surrounded me with.  for the ones who don’t take fear-driven “no’s” for an answer.  for the ones who cover me in prayer time and time again.  for the ones who are willing to ask the hard questions.  for the ones who show me God’s grace, over and over.

I write this because I so strongly desire for YOU to know that God is real.  He is mighty.  He is strong.  He has incredible plans for YOU that you could never imagine.  and any fear that is holding you back from pursuing what you know He is calling you to do IS able to be conquered by His strength and power alone.

I am not the same.  may you know His unfailing love and His almighty power and may you be able to say the same – whether it be now, or a year from now.

First snowfall

This morning I woke up and looked outside to see the first snowfall of the season. At the same time, Bob Marley's "Stir It Up" started playing in my head. I'm not sure what that means. But I think it means I'm ready for summer.

Continuous Worship Conference 2013, Feb. 7-9th

COME!  you will NOT be disappointed.  and it’s so cheap and there’s an endless flow of free coffee.  one of my favorite places on earth.  :)  @ Maranatha Bible Camp, near North Platte, NE.

www.continuousworshipconference.com

the gift of space

have you ever had a time in your life where you felt like your joy had been stolen from you, and you didn’t know why and you didn’t know what had stolen it?  it was just…gone.  and you knew it should be there…it just…wasn’t.

I had this occur in my heart recently, and I still don’t know what caused it.  everything was going great around me. God was providing all I needed and so much more, doors were opening left and right…and yet I suddenly found myself fighting to regain the joy I’ve had for so much of my life.  what in the world?

I found myself with a couple days of no scheduled meetings and no scheduled commitments.  this is rare in my life these days.  I’m in awe of God’s perfect timing.  He knew I needed to get away in solitude and seek Him.  so I got away.

the first morning, I found myself drawn to read Galatians 5.  I intended to read about the fruit of the Spirit, to remind myself of all the fruit I’m currently missing.  haha :)  but I ended up starting at the beginning of Galatians 5 and was struck, once again, by this verse:

“You were running the race so well.  Who has held you back from following the Truth?  It certainly isn’t God, for He is the One who called you to freedom!”

that narrowed down the suspects to my own flesh or satan.  God was definitely not the one who stole my joy – He has called us to freedom!  I love this verse because I relate to it so much.  I’ll be going on, running the race and relying on God’s strength.  and then BAM!  something happens and I get off course.  it reminds me of this passage in Hebrews 12:1-2 --

“…let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus…”

I eventually got to the part of the chapter that talks about living the power of the Holy Spirit and the fruit of the Spirit.  I’m reading along and think, “ok, love, joy (missing that), peace (missing that), patience, kindness…” and so on.  I finished reading the list and sat back with my coffee and asked God why I was lacking joy and peace so much right now.  immediately, this came to mind: “LOVE.  it’s the 1st fruit.  and it’s the greatest commandment.”  I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that’s what God’s answer was for me.  I love that He wants us to know Him and He wants us to sit with Him and ask Him questions and be still and listen.  I love that He’s personal and loves us so deeply beyond our comprehension.

here I was, wondering why I was missing joy and peace and I was skipping over the 1st fruit that was on the list.  I’m going to go out on a limb (again – I’ve been getting to spend a lot of time outside the last couple days, I’m very naturey now I guess) and suggest that “love” wasn’t listed 1st for no reason.  it is, after all, the greatest commandment.  like, THE greatest commandment.  I wonder if, without love, maybe the rest of the fruits just don’t ripen and flourish like they would if we first and foremost loved God and loved one another?

love.  serve.  wash one another’s feet.

I later made a list of ways God has blessed me, specifically over the past year.  wow…for the love…the list goes on (ha – there’s a shout out for the dynamic Braddy duo!!).

if you’re ever lacking in joy or are worried how things are going to work out or how God’s going to provide, make a list of how He’s blessed you and/or been faithful to you.  I guarantee it will only fill you with greater confidence in the One who is above all and it will turn your chaos and confusion into peace and joy.

one more verse I want to leave you with.  we actually had a songwriting session last week, hoping to write a song around this verse.  sometimes when we schedule a songwriting session, we hit a wall.  but last week, this song emerged from Isaiah 26:3 and my cousin reminded me of the verse this week as I was away.  I love how God orchestrates our lives!  last week, we wrote this song on Isaiah 26:3 and yeah, I love the verse and the Scripture around it.  but this week, God was like, “no – I led you to that verse for a reason.  now I want you to really meditate on it, and live it.”

“You will keep in perfect peace
all who trust in You
all whose thoughts are fixed on You.”

thankful for the gift of space God has blessed me with these last couple days. 

The Game That Wouldn't End

I'm currently watching the Denver / Atlanta game on Monday Night Football. Quite possibly the longest football game of my life.

Not only is it painful to watch (I think the Broncos forgot to show up tonight), but all of the time-consuming bad calls by the refs is dragging this game out to a length that makes me want to poke my eye out.

:)

Or at least give up on the NFL for this season. I won't rant on the replacement refs. I'll just say...I have to constantly remind myself that they're human and Jesus loves them and therefore I should be trying.

Thank goodness, in the grand scheme of things, football does not matter.

And so here I sit, reminding myself that I don't have to stay up and put myself thru this unnecessary suffering. I gave up yelling at the TV in the 2nd quarter because I felt like it wasn't getting thru.

Hey Tebow, how you doin'?

checking in

the past 2 weeks of my life have been especially busy.  hence the lack of posting.

I used to think I wanted to be busy from the time I woke up in the morning ‘til the time I went to bed at night.  I love being around people, so the thought of not being on the go and not being around people didn’t sound appealing to me.

I’m also not very good at telling people “no”.

meanwhile, I’ve felt the increasing longing to be able to be still.  to be able to study the Word or take time to spend in prayer or listen to a podcast from one of my favorite pastors.  or read a good book that challenges me or leaves me in awe of my God, my Savior.

I remember last fall, I ended up with this 6-week temp job at the Secretary of State.  on the weekends, we’d travel to Torrington for worship team rehearsal and church.  but other than that, I didn’t have any other obligations.  so I got to read.  a lot.  and drink a lot of french press coffee with my cousins.  and take time to be still.  and I felt so much more focused.

right now I just feel scattered.  :)

I’m realizing that by filling up my days and being on the go all the time, it adds up to a lot of…noise.  noise that keeps me away from the quiet, sweet times with my Savior.  noise that keeps me scatter brained and distracted, taking me away from my focus.

I was reminded today by a friend that by telling someone “yes” to something, you’re saying “no” to something else.  and sometimes that’s OK.  but I wonder how often I say “yes” to someone or something for fear of letting someone down, and inadvertently end up saying “no” to something that was actually a lot more important. 

deep.

ironically, (although with God…nothing’s actually ironic) I ended up coming down with this cold last weekend that knocked me down for the first 1/2 of this week.  today is the first day I felt my energy had come back and I could actually breathe again.  at the beginning of the week, when I first got sick, my thought was, “I cannot afford to be sick right now!!”  but it forced me to slow down (ok, only a little).

we need to make the time and take the time to do what fills us.  what brings us deeper in our love of Jesus.  what brings us in awe of our Creator, the God of all.  it’s so crucial for all of us!

turn down the noise.

the week of “whaaat??!!”

I have to summarize my week that happened a couple weeks ago because it is drenched in God’s faithfulness and awesomeness and…I’m still blown away when I think about it.

Aug. 21 – for a few days, anxiety had been building up more and more inside of me because I wasn’t finding anything available to rent and my bank account balance was dwindling and my credit card balance was growing.  I was starting to think there was no way I could afford a place to rent because the couple places that were available were a lot bigger than I needed and more than I could afford.  and I couldn’t think of any girls in this town that I know that I could share a place with (everyone I knew at the time was either in high school or married…yes, the ever-increasing problem when you get older and are still single).  I started questioning if I had heard God’s call wrong.  I thought He was opening doors and directing me to stay out here for now.  but 2 major components to me staying were missing – a place to live and an income to support it.

desperate to hear from God, I went for a drive.  because that’s what jen does.  I literally cried out to God for some type of direction.  something clear, because I was at the end of my rope and so confused as to what I was supposed to be doing all of a sudden.  everything that had seemed so clear was suddenly a puddle of mush in my mind.  it was at this point that I realized I 100% needed God.  there have been so many times I’ve cried out to God for direction or answers, but I had an “alternate plan” in my back pocket just in case He didn’t give me a clear direction or answer.  does that make sense?  but now I really needed Him.  I had no alternate plan.  I had no extra $$ sitting in my bank account.

and…oh my goodness.  God answered.

that night, that same exact night, I was given the amazing opportunity to come on staff at my church (part-time)!!!!  what in the world?!

Aug. 22 – I wake up with my hope renewed.  I had confirmation from God that this is where He wanted me.  He was providing the finances for me to stay.  I knew He was going to provide a place for me to live.

that day, my friend who works as a paraprofessional at the high school called me, asking if I wanted to sub for her that Friday.  I’d never subbed before in my life, but I took the job because it wasn’t as intimidating as subbing for a teacher.  I couldn’t believe it – God was dropping another opportunity in my lap to provide more $$ income!

Aug. 24th – received a $$ bonus from my work back home for reaching a milestone mark in online store sales!

Aug. 25th – received a $$ support check from one of my friends back home!!

Aug. 26th – my friend Megan took me over to her friend’s house.  her friend owns this house and rents out the basement to another girl and had an open room upstairs she was looking to rent!

WOW.

I am blown away by God.  I am blown away by His grace to answer my desperate call for help.  I never had any reason to doubt or question or worry…but I still did.  and yet He is so gracious and patient.  and forgiving.

Growing Up

28 years old. Just got my first ever kitchen appliance!!!! Watch out, world!!

Isaiah 41:10

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you.
Don't be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." (Isaiah 41:10 NLT)

Sometimes the Word of God is so tangible. This verse sums up this week.

God is amazing.

the day Smith Optics made me smile

this is a shameless, unsolicited plug for my favorite pair of sunglasses.

probably 3 or 4 years ago, I scored a pair of Smith sunglasses (Smith Optics), the Gallegos model with polarized lenses (because in the Keys, polarized is the only legit way to go).  and I mean scored.  as in, I think I paid $20 for them. :) one of the marine stores in town was moving to a new location and so they were selling all their inventory for dirt cheap.

I loved these Smith Gallegos sunglasses.  they accompanied me on many trips all over the US and around the world.  they went out on many boat rides & fishing trips with me.  they helped me win every beach volleyball match I ever played (…hey, this is MY story, I can make up whatever I want!).  ok I haven’t won every match I’ve played.  you got me.  lying is not my forte.

back on track…

but eventually, the lenses became so scratched that it drove my eyes nuts to wear them.

and I was very sad.

I then scored a great pair of Costas that I love as well.  however, they just weren’t like my Smiths.  and every so often I would pull out my Smiths and put them on, hoping the scratches had gone away.

but they never did.

then one day I got smart.  I decided to send them in to Smith Optics to see if the lifetime warranty would cover them.  and since they’re a fixed-lens, they can’t just replace the lenses.  so I sent them in, 1/2 expecting to get a call from customer service asking if I wanted to purchase a replacement pair.  to which I probably would’ve sadly declined because money is also not my forte right now.

alas, within a week, UPS pulls up to my door.  my heart leapt for joy with anticipation of what that great person in brown would deliver.

dog bones for the dogs!!!

NO!  I mean, yes – they did.  but that’s not the point…

my friends, Smith Optics has made my day.  they sent me a brand new pair of the Gallegos sunglasses!!  including a sticker!!  (hey, those of us with sticker-drenched guitar cases get excited about new stickers to add to the conglomeration)

um.  Smith Optics might quite possibly be my most favorite sunglasses brand EVER.

and if you work for Smith, you can pay me now for gaining you tons of business!  :)

I just want to wear my new sunglasses and run around!!!  except…it’s dark out.

“I wear my sunglasses at night…”

(does anyone actually know the rest of that song?  I think not.)

quote of the day

"i just want to go stick my head in a bowl of chocolate and never return" - spoken by one of my friends who shall remain nameless :)