hard times do come

(I wrote this 11/30/10 but didn’t have internet so I’m posting it now)

hi.

this week I have 3 presentations to do.  have I mentioned that presentations aren’t my favorite?  I wasn’t sure if I had.

heavy sarcasm.

I’m trying to fear God and not fear man.  I’m trying really hard to not be anxious.  I’m trying to put Phil. 4:4-8 into practice.  I still feel like I’m failing at it though.

today I went to Starbucks for a couple hours (we have a weird schedule this week, it’s outreach prep week, so I had a couple hours free this morning).  then I called my friend.  he’s good at being tough but encouraging.  I asked him to just tell me about Jesus.  :) and he did.  among other things, he asked me if I thought Jesus was excited to come to earth and suffer like He did for the sin of the world?  too-shay (I don’t know how to spell that word, so I spelt it like it sounds so you’ll know what I’m trying to say).

on my walk back to the base, I really just wanted to cry and get all the ickiness out.  but I couldn’t cry.  not because it wouldn’t come. the tears were about there. but it was so stinkin’ cold out and the wind chill was like –50 (I might be exaggerating a little, but not much).  it was so cold that I couldn’t even cry when I wanted to.  I rarely cry.  and when I finally want to, I can’t.  because it’s so stinkin’ cold.  as I walked, I asked (yes, out loud), “God, why do You let it get so cold??”

I didn’t hear an answer.

but Jesus left Paradise to live on earth for 33 years.  I can handle sacrificing earthly paradise (the Keys) for 5 months.  by His strength, I can do this.