I have quite this beautiful tension going on inside of me these days.
this is where I ate my lunch today. I sat down on the sea wall. at the 7 Mile Bridge. I didn’t alter these pictures at all. it was just…purely beautiful. the water was so blue and green today, even without my polarized sunglasses on.
and see, this is where the beautiful tension comes in. this place has captured my heart time and time again. I love it. God’s beautiful creation surrounds me. beautiful people whom I love deeply surround me. sunshine and warmth surround me year round. and yet – the beautiful tension.
the beautiful tension of wanting to be called here so badly by God, yet having peace that He’s called me else where for now. there is peace in that calling, a peace that transcends my own understanding (Phil. 4:4-7) because here – here amidst the blue green waters and the beautiful people that I love – here is where I want to be called to. it doesn’t make sense to me that I would have peace about surrendering this love. from the worldly point of view, it doesn’t make sense.
but I serve the One and only God. the God who desires to do so much more than I could ever hope for or imagine (Eph. 3:20) for His glory. that is what I live for, though my heart and mind are so easily distracted.
right now, I feel like He has called me to Torrington, WY. a small town (village? j/k) right on the edge of WY/NE where I never in my life imagined living. while interning with Continuous Worship, we’ve come alongside a brand new church plant in Torrington, called SONrise Chuch. none of us imagined actually moving to Torrington. it started off as like…a 2 month commitment or something. when Paul and Cristine initially told me they felt God was directing them to commit longer to SONrise and to pretty much move out there, my first reaction was, “hmm. well, that’s great for you. there’s no way I’m moving out there.”.
see, if you’ve never been to Torrington (and I’m willing to bet most of you haven’t even heard of it), let me tell you something about it. there’s no legit grocery store. there’s no walmart. there’s no target. there’s no wendy’s, starbucks, or Chipotle. you can’t see the mountains. you can’t see water. you can hear and see the coal train that goes through like 50 times a day (or at least it feels like it goes thru that often). it’s…not my idea of earthly paradise.
but I have fallen in love with the people I’ve gotten to know at SONrise.
so going back to the night Paul and Cristine dropped the news on me. I went to bed wondering what in the world was next for me. I figured my internship was done. it was time to move on. because there was no way God could be calling me to Torrington, WY. :)
I went to bed. and woke up wide awake at 4am the next morning. all I could think about were all the opportunities God might have for me in Torrington. I was filled with so much excitement. I even tried reasoning things out and tried not to get myself excited. I tried to get back to reality. but the reality is – there are so many opportunities to share God’s love and to serve in Torrington. I still get so stoked thinking of different ideas of what He might possibly want to do.
I never fell back to sleep that morning.
sweetly broken. wholly surrendered.
story of my life lately. :)
this is who I shared the sea wall with today over lunch…
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