in church yesterday, this phrase stood out to me from the message – “Surrender to God’s sovereignty”. if I had that down, I would never worry. it might have to be a new mantra for me. :)
wow I am so glad I changed my ticket and stayed for these 2 weeks.
God has continued using Paul & Cristine to push me out of my comfort zone even more. every saturday afternoon we drive to Torrington, WY and have dinner with the worship team from the brand new church plant there. then we have a time of Bible Study/discussion before we rehearse for the service. I absolutely love these times. I think every worship team should do this. :)
so saturday night I led the discussion for the first time after dinner (hi, I greatly dislike speaking in front of groups). Paul asked me to share on Psalm 1 – which was ironic because that was the only chapter of Scripture that my dad had me and my sister memorize with him growing up. really cool to go back and actually study it now that I’m older.
and that Saturday morning Paul told me (notice I used the word “told”…I think him and Cristine have quickly learned they shouldn’t ask me if I want to do things…I’m working on being willing still :) ) I was leading None But Jesus and This Is Our God during the Sunday morning corporate worship time – 2 songs of which I totally love the lyrics.
even though I’ve been getting up more and more in front of people and singing/playing…dude it is still a huge battle in my mind. I think it’s because after 20+ years (no one really asked me to sing in front of people when I was 2…at least not that I can remember…although I probably would’ve rocked Twila Paris or Sandi Patty because I belted my heart out to their songs…yes…I was THAT cool) of saying “no” when asked to sing on worship teams and giving in to the fear of being in front of people, I’ve developed a super strong thinking pattern. my automatic response is to fear. I’m trying so hard not to do that, but it just…happens still. I know only God can remove that from me, and I beg Him to take it away so I can get up, confident in His strength and His sovereignty. He is so completely worthy of all our praise and all our affection. I want to lead others in worshipping Him for who He is. I just haven’t conquered the fear yet. I would love to be covered in prayer in this area, if you feel led. :)
BUT – 1 Cor. 12:9 – His power is made perfect in my weakness. and therefore I press on, trusting in His sovereignty. whatever happens, He can use it for His glory. whether my voice is shaking or not. whether I throw up or not. :) He is stronger and He is greater and He is worthy.
totally stoked for the senior high retreat this weekend out at Maranatha. 5 sessions with the students. praying for revival in hearts and that eyes will be opened to more and more of God’s greatness and who He is.
ooh! this morning Paul & I got some time to do more song writing. sometimes when we do that, we hit a wall and get nowhere. other times the words/melodies just flow. today was one of those days the words/melodies just flowed. we got 2 songs closer to being completed – now we need to play them for people and get feedback. thank You, God, for providing the songs that bring You glory!
on a sad note, we have all be battling sickness after sickness. over the past month, I’ve had the flu, a cold, and now something new where my throat is so sore and it feels like I’m swallowing golf balls. it really puts a cramp in my workout schedule. ah, the downside of living in community and traveling so much. :) it’s all good though. God is good no matter what and we all have so much to be thankful for.
headed home to the islands next Monday (the 21st) for an “extended” time…whatever that means! :)
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