risk

if i die tomorrow, what regrets would i have?  this question came during small group last week.  we’re reading thru Francis Chan’s Crazy Love book.  i’ve read it a couple times already.  love this book.  i love the way God speaks thru Francis Chan to shake up lukewarm followers of Christ.

so i made a list of regrets i would have, off the top of my head.

-not using the voice God’s given me (musically)
-not stepping out in faith more
-not sharing the Gospel more
-not living intentionally
-being too selfish to step out and talk to people
-allowing fears to hold me back
-a lacking prayer life & intimacy with God
-not pushing myself or allowing myself to be pushed

i made this list a week ago after small group.  tonight, after small group, i was helping clean up and ended up getting in a discussion about how i don’t take many risks in my life.  i was reminded of how many times i’ve said i feel like i haven’t lived life and what it often comes down to is i am handcuffed by fear.  and that kind of fear only comes from satan.

oh that makes me so mad.  to think every time i fear something, it’s from lies that i have believed.  i hate satan.  i hate sin.  i hate fear and its hold on me.  i would use more harsher language but don’t want to shock anyone :)

so i just got back to “my side” (the apartment – i call it “my side” for now :) ) and pulled out the list i made last week of regrets i would have if i died tomorrow.  i hadn’t realized it when i wrote the list, but now i totally see a running theme throughout almost all of the things – i don’t take risks!  i fear failure.  i fear failing others.  and i fear failing God.

i know i need to start taking risks and doing things the best way i know how and if i “fail”, at least i took the risk and tried my best.

i want to be careful not to necessarily take risks for the sake of taking risks – you know, like do crazy things just for the ability to boast about what i did or attempted.  i want to take risks for the glory of God.  otherwise it seems kind of selfish to me.

1 Corinthians 10:31 - “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

i want to try – NO – wait.  i AM GOING to take a risk at least once a week.  i’m going to try to take a risk daily.  but at least once a week.  what that’ll look like, i have no clue.

(start “New Day” by the Robbie Seay Band…now)

one final thing - last night i came off my cooking sabbatical (haven’t cooked since i started the fire last monday – ha).  i went back to  something i’ve made before.  spaghetti.  and i didn’t burn anything or ruin anything!  however, if i had started another fire, i was all set – before Shane left for Bible study, he set the fire extinguisher out in the corner of the kitchen.  reeeeeal funny.

keep it real.
~jenny machaaaado~

 

(haha i say “keep it real” and then i sign off with a fake name.  i crack myself up.  i’m really funny if you don’t think about it too much.)