What happened to Barney?

Watching Barney right now with a 1 year old. I've only watched a few Barney episodes (not on my own, I promise - they were all while baby-sitting) but I know for a fact that this is not the original Barney voice. This one's a fruity, nasal-infested creepy voice.

I wish I could record his voice to share with you.




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Overheard at the coffee shop

Today at the coffee shop, I overheard a woman, probably in her 40's, talking to the barista about what she should order. She said, "I'm just getting in to the coffee scene-".

Props to that woman for making it that far in life before entering the "scene". I'm going to guess she didn't go to college. :)

College was when I fell into the scene. Freshman year. I distinctly remember my first drink (we're talking coffee here, remember?). I was training for work, which involved 2 weeks of 40 hours of training each week. Taking a full load of classes. Because I went straight from class to work until around midnight, i had to study for an exam in the wee hours of the morning. My roommate, Boonie, helped me out by making me coffee and loading it with cream (no sugar, of course - gross). And I was hooked. Coffee got me thru the juggle of school, work, and a social life.

I hope that woman enjoys her drink today.


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it’s monday, monday

that was to the tune of the horrendously annoying song, “Friday”.  just FYI.

we had a great time in Torrington, WY this past weekend.  Paul & Cristine (Continous Worship Ministries) are helping a brand new church there get a worship team developed. Saturday night we all had dinner with the worship team, discussed a chapter or 2 from the book “Facedown” by Matt Redman (incredible book), then practiced for Sunday morning.  it was so great to hang out with the team and get to know some of the people and worship along with them while they practiced!  church was great Sunday morning – they did “cardboard testimonies” where people had taken a piece of poster board and on 1 side wrote a short summary of where they were before Christ and on the other side wrote what Christ did in their lives.  for example, 1 side might say “Alcohol, lies, and worthlessness” and the other side might say “Free from addiction, valued as God’s Child”. so one by one they walked up on stage, held the “Before Christ” side out for everyone to see for like 3 seconds, then flipped it to the “Because of Christ” side.  it was so powerful!!!!!  I’d never seen that done before.  Paul played/sang a super great song called “Honestly” by … Vota?  not sure on the spelling.  but it went along perfect while they walked across stage with their signs.  I think about 20 people did it.

it was soooo life-giving to be able to be apart of ministry this weekend.  refreshing.  filling.

after church we went to see Fort Laramie.  for some reason, I thought Fort Laramie was something you hiked.  it’s entirely NOT something you hike – it’s an old historic Fort. hahaha :)

today I spent close to 2 hours on the phone with Microsoft, spoke with 4 different people, explained the situation to all 4 people over and over again, and got no where.  I’m trying to track down the product key for my Microsoft Office suite because I want to reformat my computer but can’t find the key to reinstall Office.  urgh.

on the flipside, last night we all watched Soul Surfer after getting home from Torrington – 2nd time seeing it.  love that movie.  so inspiring.

tonight everyone is out of the house, which is weeeeeird.  soooo quiet.  except for the dogs barking.  I’m about to dispose of them.

I’ve been reading and re-reading Philipians 3 again and again lately.  I love the Truth that is in that chapter. the reminder of the all-surpassing greatness knowing Jesus Christ – it far outweighs any earthly pleasure.  finishing the race, pressing on toward the goal, forgetting what is behind.  discovering true contentment no matter the circumstance.  the reminder that contentment is possible thru Christ, who gives us strength.  and the reminder that this world is not our final home – our citizenship is in Heaven. earthly gains fade away.

week 1–kids, chai, and lefty guitars

week 1 of my temporarily relocation to Cheyenne, WY is quickly coming to a close.  actually it didn’t come quickly.  the week has gone slow – not in a bad way though.  it’s just felt oddly slow.

oh – PS.  I call this my temporarily relocation because a “move” sounds too permanent and committal.  and, wanting to fit in with my generation, I try to be as non-committal as possible.  totally kidding.  ok, like 1/2 kidding.  but I’m making no promises that I’ll make it thru the cold winter.

I just finished a chai.  with espresso.  aka a dirty chai.  espresso’s coursing thru my veins right now.  can you tell?

ok so this post might be more sporadic than others.  I blame it on the espresso.

my fingers are FREEZING.  I should’ve brought gloves to this coffee shop.  but who thinks to bring gloves with them in 85 degree weather?

so, after almost a week here, I’ve had it confirmed that I will probably not struggle with being alone for too long involuntarily.  2 days this week we had 12 kids under the age of 12 at the house.  plus like…6 or 8 adults over the course of the day.  it’s been fun!  at one point I had like 6 kids (which I think all of them were under the age of 6) surrounding me as I sat on the couch and each was trying to tell me a story (except the 1 year old – he was just trying to put small objects in his mouth).  chaos?  yes.  but very entertaining.

I need to get a job so I can support myself going to the coffee shop regularly for quiet time and chai.

speaking of jobs – I’ve sent in 4 resumes this week (they were all my resumes – although maybe I should have sent in other people’s so I’d have a better chance of getting a job).  there’s like 3 of them that I am really interested in.

oh my goodness I’m freezing.  somebody cut the a/c!!

ok I did something that maybe I shouldn’t have but I did and maybe it was OK to do it (wow, hi espesso).  I went to Guitar Center in Park Meadows, CO on Wednesday while my aunt and cousin were in IKEA (which is almost inevitably always a minimum of a 2 hour shopping event).  they had 1 lefty guitar – an Ibanez acoustic/electric.  it was black with like flame-type things around the hole.  I wasn’t crazy about the flame-type things.  and it was $329.  which my ideal budget was $350.  but the case was like $80.  so that would’ve been too much, plus I’d be stuck with non-extinguishable flames I didn’t like.  plus I don’t have a job yet.  no job=no income=no money for a guitar.  but I did find out they have a 30-day return policy.

so yesterday my cousins and I went to the Guitar Center in Fort Collins, CO and they had 1 lefty guitar – a Fender acoustic, natural color.  she looks like a Taylor…only with “Ibanez” written on her.  she was $229.  so with the case, she came out under $350…which was my ideal budget.  I would prefer an acoustic/electric, but really I just need any lefty to test out and see if I really do want to switch to a lefty.  so…knowing there was a 30-day return policy…and knowing I had a Guitar Center credit card that allows me to have 0% financing for 12 months…I bought her.  ok but don’t freak out.  I firmly decided that when 30 days is coming up, I will return her if I don’t have a job.  I’m committing to that (wow – committing – such a new concept…j/k).  and, if when 30 days is approaching, I have gotten no where in picking up the lefty, I will return her and refocus back on the right-handed guitar and try not to chuck it at anybody in frustration with my strum deficiency.  I’m committing to that as well.

so like, I bought her, but I didn’t “really” buy her.

and if you’d still like to donate toward my guitar fund, please feel free to!

ok dude – I am frozen.  I have to get out of here.

time to go home and pick up the lefty.  and play my keyboard.  and practice espanol.

into the unknown

I realized for quite possibly the first time in my life, I have made a move where I have no clue what’s going on.

when I went away to college, I knew that’s what I was doing – for the next 4 years of my life, I would be going to college (wow…4 years of sitting in classes?  sounds awful now…haha).  when I moved to the Keys, I knew where I would be working.

now I have packed up my life (reduced to the size of my toaster…aka Zeva…aka my Scion xB). I have travelled over 2,400 miles.  I have no income.  I have no idea how long I will be here.  I have no idea whatsoever how I’m going to survive winter (I cringe at the thought – so let’s think happy thoughts…it’s 91 out right now…that’s really happy).

it’s tempting to dwell on the fact that there are many unknowns in my life right now.  but that just leads to anxiety.  instead, I have to choose to take every thought captive and refocus on Jesus.  because it is only thru Him that I have any hope, strength, or sanity.

living by faith.  fully alive.  there’s really no better place to be.

and I’m not alone.  besides knowing God is omnipresent (although I wouldn’t blame Him if He chose to stay in the tropical sections of the world during the winter), I am blessed to have family here to live with!!  I have great family here, great family in Nebraska, a great cousin in Denver as of last week (shout out to Rachel!!), and a crazy amount of friends in the Denver area that I can visit.  I’m so thankful that I know people out here because I could have taken this crazy move 1 step further into craziness by going somewhere where I knew nobody.

hey this was fun – I’m sitting here at a coffee shop attached to the library downtown (sweeeeet library, by the way – I feel smarter just being here).  all of a sudden my cousin & her husband walk in (Cristine and Paul).  it was so fun, in a city full of people I don’t know, to have 2 people I DO know walk in!  they’re so great :)

PS – still in desperate want for a left-handed guitar.  my current donation fund for such a purchase is…drum roll please…$0.  that’s including interest.  if you feel so led as to contribute to this purchase (estimated to be around $350), you just let me know!  ;)

ok – now off to finding my way back home…I swear I almost had like 5 accidents in parking lots today.  I have no idea why, but I’m going to blame it on weird Cheyenne drivers because OBVIOUSLY it can’t be me.  :)

Dear keyboard,

I'm so glad you're coming out West with me. I think you're gonna enjoy your time out there.
(testing out resizing pics-lately they've been posting ginormously)



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right wasn’t right

while I was up in Cheyenne, WY a couple weeks ago, I had what could possibly be a huge revelation that could lead to HUGER things.

for over 10 years, I have tried learning the guitar.  I bought my first guitar about 10 years ago, a classical.  soon after that I bought an acoustic-electric that I’ve had ever since.  but I’ll try playing the guitar for a little while, then get frustrated that I can’t keep the rhythm when strumming to songs.  for the life of me, I can’t do it.  being somewhat musically inclined, this has frustrated me to no end.

yes, I’m a white girl, but I do have some rhythm.  ;)

so these 10 years I’ve claimed that I’m strum-deficient.  and really, if you ever try to sing along with me playing the guitar, you’ll quickly agree. i've literally had friends give up trying to teach me at times because i just can't get strum patterns down. my poor friends :)

while contemplating this dilemma yet again a couple weeks ago, I had this revelation:  I’m left handed. ok so I’ve known I’m left-handed since before like kindergarten.  but I realized maybe I ought to be playing a left-handed guitar because when I hear music playing, my left hand starts “air-guitaring” – strumming to the music.  I think my rhythm is in my left hand.  I just learned to play on a right-hand guitar because that’s what the majority of people play, and all my friends had right-hand guitars.  the thought never crossed my mind that this may be my problem.

so.  I am now on the quest to save up enough money for a lefty.  I’ve priced them, and I think I can get one for as little as $350 at Guitar Center.  that is, if I can’t find a used one through craigslist or through connections first.

oh – what’s that?  you wanted to know if you could donate to my left-handed guitar fund?!  awwww!  I want to give you a huge hug!!!  of course you can!!!  just message me on facebook or email and we’ll talk ;)

shameless plea for monetary donations are the best, aren’t they?  :)

no, but really – this revelation could mean HUGE things for future lead worshipping.

Yard Sale Success

Today we had a yard sale. I sold more than I thought I would - made around $100! Stoked!
So thankful for how the yard sale went - even more thankful that it's over and the leftovers have mostly been taken to a couple charities. Now I can focus on packing up what's left. Cristine flys in Tuesday and I'm hoping to be on the road Thursday. Mega road trip!!!
Love this pic of Claire petting Mocha...



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Simplifying

This last week I've spent most of my time (after work) sorting thru my stuff. Throwing a lot away (including high school yearbooks). Putting a lot in a garage sale we're having this Saturday.
I can't wait until this part is over. I want to be reading/makin music/playing volleyball/hanging out with people. So stoked for when this transitioning part is over and I can focus on what God has for me.
Although...I suppose THIS is what God has for me right now - sorting and packing. :) so I will try not to get stressed anymore about it. It will be over soon.

Meanwhile, I'm sure going to miss my nieces and nephew...






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reoccurring theme: surrender

it seems God’s been working on my heart for months now on the subject of surrender.  last April I felt like He was asking me to surrender my small-minded, one-directional dreams of what I wanted to do with the life He’s given me.  I felt like He was asking me to surrender my stubborn, “I’m not goin’ anywhere” attitude toward the Keys (have I ever mentioned I love it here?  I love the people.  the culture.  the scenery.  the weather.  pretty much everything).  so that’s what I did.  (see entry: http://getstoked.blogspot.com/2011/04/doors.html)

and God blew me away.  opportunities for things I wouldn’t have pursued in the past popped up.  I got to help out at a youth group for awhile (Momentum – represent!!!!).  I got a super sweet place of my own to rent for dirt cheap (I have good friends, definitely blessed).  I got the opportunity to head out West to intern with my cousins’ worship ministry (Continuous Worship Ministries) for the month of July (had the privilege of doing worship at 2 camps, a family camp in NE and a jr high camp in WY).

once again, I feel God calling me to surrender (seems to be a daily, if not moment-by-moment choice sometimes).  to surrender my stubborn attitude of staying in the Keys, mostly.  He has reminded me this week that Jesus surrendered His life & died on a cross – just to save me.  the least I can do is surrender my comforts & one-directional dreams, take up my cross (dying to my selfish desires), and follow His leading.

and I feel He’s leading me to continue my time out West right now.  I am shocked at the peace and vision He is giving me for this crazy, unexpected turn of events.  I have no idea how long this is for.  it could be short.  it could not be.  I just know that I’ve told God “no” for waaaay too long of my life in the area of using the gifts He’s given me.  it’s time I surrender my fears/unsurity of the gifts He’s given me and trust Him. (un-sure-ity…maybe that’s not a word, but it is now because I went to college & have a degree & therefore should have the right to make up words).

surrendering is not without pain.  it is not easy at all to think about packing up and heading out of the Keys again.  I think I’ve mentioned before that I love it here?  oh…yeah…I think I did. ;)  praying God leads me back down here quickly…

And they call the thing rodeo

2 rodeos in the past 2 days. Cheyenne Frontier Days (the "Daddy of 'em All") and Scottsbluff County fair rodeo in Mitchell, NE. Definitely felt it was the appropriate time to listen to "Rodeo" by Garth Brooks on my drive home. Watched the bull ridin movie, "8 Seconds", with Paul & Cristine tonight. Yep. I'm definitely out West.

:)

Planet Earth

We're watching a Planet Earth episode right now and my 9-year old cousin was trying to explain a certain crab to me. He starts comparing it to a snail by saying, "you know how sometimes snails have eyes that stick up out of their head and..." and he continued describing the snail. And I go, "yeah?" and he paused and goes, "well it [the crab] looks nothing like that."

...

Hahaha cracked me up :) pretty good for a 9-year old.


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cool people I’ve met

I have met some really cool, random, interesting people since coming out West 3 weeks ago:

-a woman who previously lived in LA working as a paparazzi.  totally legit.  I’ve never met anyone from the paparazzi career field until now.  she was so fun to talk to!

-our first session at camp this week, I see this kid walk in with a “Rockford football” shirt on.  afterwards, I found him and it turns out he goes to the same high school I went to.  when he told me his name, I realized I knew who his brother was (didn’t actually know him) – his brother had bought a couch from my parents back when they were moving from MI to FL.  his brother was going to be going to Bible college out in La Grange, WY.  ok so then yesterday he comes to the session wearing a shirt sporting the name of the church I went to for awhile up in Michigan.  small world.

-on our trail ride yesterday, I was talking to the head wrangler dude and found out he just did his YWAM DTS in WY last fall and he’s thinking about going on staff there!  YWAMmers have like…an instant friendship because you’ve both been thru a DTS and know the experience.

just a few of the cool run-ins I’ve had out here.

did I mention I am absolutely loving this time out West?

Tornado Warning

This is what a tornado warning looks like...







Between the rattlesnakes and the tornado warning, this had been one of the more exciting trips I've taken to Nebraska :) I forgot to mention we found a dead baby rattlesnake today. Paul found it while digging up the snake hole. We think it died from either oil ingestion, drowning, or smoke inhalation. The reasons we think that shall go unposted. ;)

A few after-the-storm pics...









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My hero

Yesterday I decided maybe it was ok to walk around the yard at the ranch - we hadn't seen any snakes around the house yet. So I ventured out in my flip-flops. I spotted a cool rock so I walked over to it to get a closer look and came across a baby snake about a foot in front of me. It looked like a rattlesnake but it was too young to have a rattle so it was hard to tell. My dad came over with a shovel to kill it but decided instead to pick it up to look at it. So we're standing there inspecting it and my mom got close enough to see it and yells, "Charles!! That's a rattlesnake!!!" Baby rattlesnakes are usually more poisonous because they shoot all their venom when they bite.




Even after half severing it's head, it was still a fighter...


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Ode to the Coyote

To the coyote who woke me up with it's howling this morning at 5:15am:
That is not cool. You're not supposed to be howling after the sun rises. Plus, you didn't even have a pure howl. It was like a howl mixed with barking. Not a noise to be proud of.
Because of you, I will probably require more coffee today. Should you decide to have a repeat of this morning, I might have to try out my aim with the gun.
However, I can choose to have an attitude of gratitude toward you. And so I'll thank you, random coyote, because I got to have lots of extra quiet time with your Creator this morning.

:)


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Storm

Before the storm...



Heading into the storm...




Coming out on the other side of the storm...






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The green couches

This afternoon I'm laying low in the house we're staying at this week out at Maranatha Bible Camp. It's right on the lake and the living room windows overlook it and it's so bright and nice inside. I've spent the last 2 afternoons by the pool, so I'm giving my skin a little break. Plus I'm fighting a cold and felt more like laying low inside, spending some QT (quality time) with God.



The pic is dark but it's from where I'm sitting right now. Lake outside on the left. And the slit of light coming from the windows on the right? Every so often I look up just at the right time to see a body flying through the air. The blob. Quite hilarious because I can't see the blob or the lake thru that window. Just bodies flying in the air. Hahaha :)



And the amazing green couches make it. Totally.
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i will not fear

for the month of july, i am interning with my cousins’ worship ministry called Continuous Worship.  this week we are out at Maranatha Bible Camp right outside North Platte, NE.

this morning we led worship for the family camp that is going on this week.  ha – that’s kinda funny.  the 3 of us doing the worship are family, and it’s family camp.  :)  it’s ok, you can giggle.

this morning was humbling.

so, as colds always seem to have the best timing ever, I started coming down with a cold Sunday night and it’s continued to progress over the past couple days.  last night I skipped the 4th of July festivities in hopes of sleeping from 7pm-7am.  I slept from about 7pm-11pm.  then I tossed and turned the rest of the night.  I hate colds.  pretty sure they’re a result from the fall of man.  thanks, Eve.

(side note: if this post is jumbled and out of order, I blame it on this cold – I keep getting up every few minutes to blow my nose)

this morning I read through Psalm 103.  I love that Psalm.  these 3 verses stood out to me today:

verse 8: “The Lord is compassionate & gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.”

verse 11: “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him.”

verse: 13: “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.”

while I feel like God has called me to be a worshipper (as all His children should be), I wrestle with Him because I get scared out of my mind about being a lead worshipper – I don’t like getting up in front of people and singing.  but ever since I surrendered that to Him while I was on outreach in Norway and started trusting God instead of fearing man, I have experienced His strength and power over and over.  He is faithful.

so those verses in Psalm 103 were awesome reminders of God’s promises to those who fear Him, for those who trust in Him and His character.  so I resolved not to be anxious about leading worship, but instead to trust in God’s unfailing character.

however – lest I start relying on my own strength and not God’s, He keeps me humble.  about 3 minutes before the worship time started, my cousin asked how I was doing.  I told him I wished I wasn’t sick with this cold, but that I felt peace about being on stage.  as soon as I said that, I suddenly felt like I was going to throw-up. haha :)  I made a urgent trip to the bathroom and, sure enough, as soon as I got to the bathroom, I threw up.  :)  which was the exact reason I always turned people down when they asked me to lead worship over the past 26 years of my life.  I was afraid I’d throw up.  :)  because that’s what Jen does.  when she’s had to give speeches in the past, she’s thrown up.  it’s just what Jen does best sometimes.

it was at that moment in the bathroom stall that I was faced with a big decision.  either give in to this thorn in my flesh and run from the task ahead, or defiantly decide to fear God and not fear man and go forward anyway – whether I threw up on the stage or not.  :)

in the past, I would’ve fled.  I would’ve ran.  but I have experienced God’s strength in my weakness far too many times now to let fear of man determine my actions.

I didn’t feel like getting up and worshipping this morning.  I didn’t feel like singing into a mic with the altered voice this cold has left me with.  but I tried to do my best and let God take care of the rest (movie quote: Facing the Giants), voice cracking and all. it probably was a bit of a funky worship time on my part, but I have to trust God can and will still use me even when I’m not only weak, but sick and weak.  :)  and PS - I didn’t throw up during the worship time.  :)

later in the day, a jr high/high school age girl came up to me and told me she really liked my voice.  I was shocked.  I’m like, “really??  but I’m…sick…” and she goes, “oh, well I really liked your voice!”.  it was the encouraging reminder I needed – the reminder that God can use us even when we think we’re weak.

I hope that what you get from this entry (if you’re still reading) is that God is strong.  He is strong enough to help us face any battle that comes our way. and He is faithful.  His love for those who fear Him, who trust Him, is greater than the space between the heavens and the earth.

2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Overheard

I overheard 2 older women talking today about the new styles of clothes. About the younger generation, they said, "what we tried to cover up they're trying to show". they have a point. They were cute. :)


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Here we go again

On the plane from fort Lauderdale to Denver right now. Headed out West for the month of July. Spending a couple weeks with my cousins at Maranatha Bible Camp in North Platte, NE, spending a week out at our family's ranch in western NE, then maybe Cheyenne/Denver for the last week.

My focus will be on the following, in no particular order:
-enjoying time with family whom I love!!!!
-growing in the musical giftings God's given me
-take lots of time to process and re-prioritize and get ready to hit the ground running when I return to my beloved island community

Stoked to see what God wants to do in and thru me during this time. Not really knowing what to expect. That makes it more exciting. ;)

So on another note, as we were taking off, this little kid behind me goes, "WE'RE LANDING! WE'RE LANDING!!" - to which his mom said, "No, honey, we're taking off." it was so cute - the kid sounded like the adorable little girl on YouTube that recites the story of Jonah.




The next time I meet a grumpy person, I'm going to prescribe to them a flight on Southwest Airlines. I don't think it's possible to not smile on their flights. On landing, as soon as the tires hit and the slowing down process began, one of the flight attendants came over the speaker hollering, "WHOOOOAAA NELLY!!!!" and then made the hoof clopping noise - and yes, the clopping slowed down as the plane did. Hahaha :D
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Crazy fishermen

I'm getting my oil changed (I gave in this time instead of doing it myself) right now. This guy comes in and is talking about how he puts ballyhoo (a bait fish) in his mouth and lets barracuda come and grab it from his mouth. He said barracuda are harmless, to which I agree - when you're just snorkeling or diving. But if you have bait hanging out of your mouth...

I fully expect to see a man walking around here without a face in the future.


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headed to Nebraska

leavin' the beautiful blue waters and palm trees for cornfields this week...it's only for a month. i can do this. God created cornfields. I will find beauty in them. :)

Key West day

Down in Key West for Boonie's wedding! The wedding's in marathon but we are in key west for the day. Her and Z went parasailing and now we are at El Meson de Pepe - YUM!!!






Great Cuban restaurant. Complete with roaming chickens.



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A Kelly Clarkson Morning

Sometimes Kelly just says it best... :)

"I dont wanna be tough. And I dont wanna be proud. But I dont need to be fixed and i certainly dont need to be found - i'm not lost." (song: Maybe)

Once in awhile it's a Kelly Clarkson type day - where I just want to listen to her and sing along, pointing fingers and fist pumping the air. Today is one of those days. :)


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Hammocks

Quite possibly the best laptop set up I've ever created. It drives me nuts to be on the computer. But when I need to get things done, this spot at least makes it a little more bearable. :)


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Keys day

Today was full of Keysiness. Chopping up palm frons (how do you spell that?) with a machete. Cutting coconut clusters out of palm trees. Bike ride to Bo & Brende's for fresh smoothies (complete with mango) and great stories. Leechees. Working on the sailboat (polishing railings was my job). Sushi with friends.

I am blessed. :)



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blast from the past

from my blog entry October 22, 2009:

”and i crave adventure. not adventure for adventure's sake. not for the "bragging rights" to boast to others about what crazy thing i did. i crave adventure that will push me to accomplish things i never thought i was capable of. i want to know -- (bracing myself - for i know i am inviting God to turn my life upside down) -- i want to know what it is like to truly live by faith in our GREAT God. to have to rely on Him to bring me thru. and to taste victory because of His strength in my weakness. i crave adventure that will push others to do the same. i crave adventure that will point others to our GREAT God.”

I was taking a stroll down blogging memory lane tonight and reading thru my posts in 2009 (apparently there were only 10 of them…I was hard core into blogging that year…ha).  I came across this and it stoked me – because over the past 6 or 7 months, I have experienced God do things in and thru me that I never thought was possible.  things that I look back on and think, “there’s no WAY I could have done that on my own”.

I think it’s funny I said “bracing myself – for I know I am inviting God to turn my life upside down” in that post because that’s exactly what He has been doing!  I feel like I’m finally living.  like – really living.

 

I remember when facebook first came out with the whole “status” thing – way back when it was first created and only college students could have it – and people would often put “I’m on facebook when I should be doing homework…” as their status.  well, right now I’m blogging when I should be cleaning my place.  ugh.  sucked in again.

this was a good sucked in though.  reflecting back on where God has brought me from.  seeing His faithfulness, once again.  He’s so awesome.  :D

calling all guys

…who like long walks on the beach, surfing, can change their own oil…

oh my goodness I’m totally kidding.  completely and 100%.

the following stats I read from the Acquire the Fire (ATF) Collision Course (a 6-week-ish follow-up study to the ATF weekend we took teens to in Tampa in April):

• 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept. 1988).
• 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (U.S. Center for Disease Control).
• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Bureau of the Census).
• Tonight, about 40% of American children will go to sleep in homes in which their fathers do not live (Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem by David Blankenhorn).
• 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools).

does that rock anyone else’s world?  it totally rocks mine.  I knew youth from broken homes are more prone to have their share of struggles.  but to have stats laid out like that…?

it’s at times like these that I wish I was a guy.  :)  but God made me a girl.  and I know girls have their own roles and influences and all that.  but when I hear stats like that, I just want to be a guy and go mentor youth and be a father to them.  thankfully, my God is a Father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5).  He can fulfill the Father role abundantly more than I ever could, even if I was a guy.

which leads me to 2 conclusions.  youth need to know about this Father to the fatherless, especially those without an earthly father in their lives, but even those who do have dads in their lives – because even our earthly dads will fall short sometimes because they’re human (although my dad pretty much always rocks and I love him :) ).

and secondly, guys need to step it up.  fathers need to be fathers.  fathers need to be mentors to those without fathers.  guys who aren’t fathers need to step it up and be mentors to those without fathers.  even be mentors to those with fathers.

guys – go do something.

 

and as a disclaimer, yes, girls/mothers have their roles too and we definitely need to step it up as well.  this list of stats was just about the fatherless homes though – hence the sound off on guys.

totally off topic, but I kind of think it’d be funny to make a shirt that says, “I Survived the Rapture of 2011”. but then I wonder if it’d be taken as humorous to others.  :)  it’s more pointing out the foolishness of claiming we know the day and hour when Jesus returns – when Scripture says no one knows and that He will come like a thief in the night.

I laid sod today.  that was fun.  I felt like…I don’t know what I felt like, but I felt good.  :)

keep it real.

good morning, Friday!

last night I set my alarm for 6:20am to wake up this morning.  but I decided if I happened to wake up earlier, I would get up, hang out with God, and then get an early morning workout in before work.  sure enough, I woke up at 5:20 ready to go.

so after spending some time in the Psalms, I set out for a short run.  dude.  it was 81 degrees with a heat index of 86 degrees.  at 6:30 in the morning.  summer is fast approaching.  kept a decent pace and did some interval/speed training on the way back.  when I got home, I did a couple pull-ups on the bar out back.  just to be like Kate Bosworth in Blue Crush.  I only did a couple pull-ups.  but I justified it by believing she probably didn’t actually do full pull-ups while filming.  all you see is the top part of her – like her head and neck as the pop up over the bar.  for all I know, and this morning I chose to believe, there was someone holding her lower half and pushing her up.  at least, that’s what I chose to believe this morning as I did my measly 2 pull-ups.  unassisted.  BAM!

:)

oh yeah – speaking of early mornings -

2 nights ago (or…yesterday morning) i woke up at 4am and didn't fall back asleep 'til after 5am.  cancelled my morning workout because i knew i needed more than 5 hours of sleep to function all day/night.

and what, you may ask, woke me up?

a dream about a cow.

yes.

a cow.

i was at some rodeo thing and everyone got a cow and mine came and sat
so nice and quietly beside me.  and she followed me wherever i went.
she was so sweet.  and then Asian girls came out and stood by each of
us and put bags over the cow's heads and said we had to go to get them
slaughtered.  and i was like "but...i like my cow!!" and my Aunt Roxie was there and i said to her, "Aunt Roxie, was your cow sweet and calm too?  Are they all like this?" and she goes, "no way! i had to chase mine all over the place!"  so then i fell even more in love with my cow.  and my dream ended with the Asian girl handing the
cow over to be slaughtered.

traumatizing.

Random

An American guy just stopped me in the parking lot and asked if I speak English. Classic.


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I love my Mom!

 

my mom ROCKS!  if you don’t know her, you should.  she’s a cute little thing.

I love when we go out to the ranch in Nebraska – she turns into this uber legit ranch chick because, after all, that’s how she was raised.  it’s in her blood. 

yesterday my mom bought me a tervis tumbler cup and made a special trip to deliver it to me!

my mom was the first to introduce me to exercising.  she’d let us ride our bikes while she walked all over the neighborhoods.  I swear she walked like 10 miles every time.  ok probably not THAT many but I’m sure it was a lot.  and then there were the days of Tony Little, the short crazy energized man with the long pony tail.  when the VHS exercise tapes first came in the mail, my sister and I went a little gung-ho with them and were sore for a few days.  but we wanted heart shaped calves, just like Tony Little kept yelling about.  my mom told us we had to ease into it.  we didn’t listen.  :)

I don’t think I’ve ever heard my mom raise her voice.  she’s incredibly patient.

my parents took us all to Disney World a couple months ago to celebrate their 30th anniversary.  my mom was like a kid again!  I loved watching her dance in the streets with her granddaughters as the Disney parade went by.  I think she had more energy than Lucy and Claire!  :)

I LOVE MY MOM!

pirate man

I went to the beach after getting out of work early this fine Friday.

I went for a swim (salt water immersion=always refreshing). This guy was snorkeling and he surfaces. Looks up, pulls his mask up and looks at me, exclaiming, "I just looked up and here is this mermaid right in front of me!" and I go, "oh, really?" and he gasps and goes, "And she talks!!! She's a real mermaid!!!"

I forgot to mention he looked like a pirate. He was older, red bandana on, and missing lots of teeth. The teeth he did have were...in great need of dental work.

He proceeded to turn his back to me and started reaching for his shorts as he says, "you wanna see my secret?" Completely not knowing what to expect, realizing it was the Keys and strange things happen, but feeling he was harmless, I said, "sure", even though he was already reaching down the back of his shorts. He pulls out a near empty plastic water bottle and held it high in the air, huge gnarly grin on his face. "It helps me float!! They try to sell all these expensive floatation things and this works just fine! Plus I get some cool water to drink on my way out!"

Oh the Keys. :)

I'm in love.


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Proverbs 3:3-4

"Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.

Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man."

I CAN cook!!

Chicken was moist!!!

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Headed home...again

On the plane back to Fort Lauderdale! So stoked. :)

Great time in MI though!! Saw some great friends/family. Super fun time at Becky's wedding. Learned more Spanish to add to my vocab. ;)

There's a little kid sitting behind me that keeps kicking or hitting the back of my seat. It's lovely. I was starting to get a headache from my head being continuously jarred. Then I had the brilliant idea of sitting up so I wasn't leaning back on the headrest.

Yep, I'm smart, I went to college. So did my mom.


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Rain

Oh, Michigan. Some things never change. I thought over the 3 1/2 years I've been gone you would've accepted some global warming. Maybe tried letting the sun shine a little more often. I guess you need to visit Florida and get some ideas of what you could do better.

Rain, rain, go away.

:)

Good excuse to get another chai latte from my new love, Biggby Coffee. Which, by the way, was a great addition to your coffee house selections, Michigan. That's something you could share with the rest of the country.

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back in the North

i'm back in G-Rap for Becky's wedding! i think the last time i was here was 2008. it's stinkin' cold. but i get to fly back to warm sunshine on saturday so i can do this.

it's so fun being back! seeing friends who are family. had Becky's bachelorette party friday night (woot woooot!). seeing the old stompin' grounds. i went to Herman's Boy to get a chai and i ended up getting my drink for free because someone earlier in the day had "paid it forward"! haha it was cool!! drove by my 2 old houses.

this morning we went to church at Ada Bible Church - the campus that meets in Cornerstone University's gym. i realized gyms are not a good place for me to go to church because during the message, i easily start dreaming about playing volleyball and invision the chairs and stage moved and the court there and...then i start thinking about the gym (as in weights, cardio machines, etc) and what i want to train for and...then i start thinking about food because working out makes me hungry all the time and...oh it's just not good. haha :) i guess it gives me an opportunity to practice taking captive every thought...haha :)

i also watched Inception last night and finished it today (fell asleep last night - what else is new). totally lost. i should watch it again sometime and see what else i can catch.

busy but fun week ahead! Becky & Mario's boda (wedding) on Friday!

having fun speaking/learning Spanish with Mario and his parents here! totally legit at speaking spanglish.

Returning to the cold

Currently - Marathon: 84. Grand Rapids: 38. 10 days. I can do this.

:)


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Gospel Ninjas

So our ATF group is small - 4 students and 2 leaders. While a big group is fun, we've realized a small group is too! We've gotten to eat at Cracker Barrel, Panera, Olive Garden, Smokey Bones, and Applebee's. :) and with such a small group, a quick escape from the ATF parking lot chaos is always a great thing. Hannah commented, "it's kinda like we're...Gospel Ninjas!!" :)



The Gospel Ninjas.




Sanctus Real wishes they were Gospel Ninjas.

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Olive Garden

Eating at the O.G. tonight before going to session 1 of ATF. Last time I ate here was late at night in February. Both of our DTS outreach teams had just flown back to the States and we had just been reunited at the airport. Awww!!! :) great memories. So much more awake this time... ;)


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Welcome to the Circus

My apartment's under there somewhere...

On our way to Tampa for Acquire the Fire! Super stoked!
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Steak!!

Totally just used the grill all by myself and grilled my very first steak!!!! I wanted it medium rare but it turned out medium well. That's ok. It was edible!!! Seasoned with Everglades seasoning. And I made black beans and rice!

I also feel the need to mention that I grilled 2 steaks tonight and gave one to Shane and he ate it!! The grill/steak master ate MY steak!!!

Living on my own this time around is going better already. ;)


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doors

recently, I’ve been trying to figure out if God was calling me to surrender some of my own dreams or if it was just doubt/confusion - which is not from God.  wrestling.  I kept feeling like God was saying, “Look – surrender your small-minded dreams to Me because I have much bigger plans for you – things you can’t even imagine.” 

I decided to surrender my dreams to God, anyway.  I figured that way I couldn’t go wrong.  :)  and I kinda felt like God was wanting me to surrender like…my small-minded, one-direction dreams to Him.  as if He wanted me to keep my desires and passions, but allow Him to show me different ways He wanted to use them instead of me just heading one specific way that I had chosen.

but I also realized surrendering my plans and dreams isn’t the easiest thing to do.  the selfish side of me wants to do what I want. the controlling part of me wants to be in charge of what direction I go and what my plans will be.  so the past few weeks have been a wrestling match between me and God.  but it’s been worth it.

as soon as I truly felt like I surrendered my plans and dreams to God, things started changing.  out of the blue, I got a call from a friend who wanted to have lunch and discuss ministry opportunities.  turns out their church is looking for someone to take over the youth ministry and they wanted to know if I was interested.  hello!  of course I’m interested!  :)

a few days later, my cousin calls from out West and encourages me again to come out there, even if it’s just for a month this summer, to get some worship leading experience with him.  play some music, write some music, do worship at youth camps.  hello!  of course I’m interested!  :)

I believe God has much bigger plans for each of us than we could ever imagine.

Eph. 3:20-21 “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than al we ask or imagine, according to His POWER that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!  Amen.”

there is freedom in surrender.

WPB - you are loved

Had a super great time up in the West Palm area this past weekend, picking up Meredith and moving her home! Met so many amazing people, including my new fellow YWAM friend Leo! She's great! YWAMmers have an instant friendship.

It was a refreshing trip, though we got little sleep.

Here's a pic from our family's Disney trip. I was looking thru pics on my phone and saw it and thought, "wow, that one turned out decent!" :) here's to Mickey...



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because I should

I’m writing this because I feel like I should.  I haven’t posted in a week (mainly because I was up in Orlando).  I don’t want to go too long without posting or else I might stop updating this thing.  which wouldn’t be the end of the world.  but I enjoy looking back, every once in awhile, thru my posts over the years.  it brings back memories and reminds me of phases or stages in life.  and sometimes I read a post and think, “what in the world?  I don’t remember that…” – haha :)

uncertainty of my plans hangs in the air.  actually, they all sit nice and comfortably in Abba’s hands.  but to my human nature, they seem to be hanging in uncertainty.  trying to figure out if God’s shutting doors and opening new ones or if He’s calling me to persevere past the appearance of closed doors.  the last thing I want to do is “run” when things get a little tough – I want to pursue a direction because I feel God’s leading me to it, not because it’s the easier route.

sometimes I wonder if there is an “easier” route each year I get further away from the days when all I had to do was go to school, work a little, but mainly just hang out with my friends.  do easy routes even exist as you get older?

I do know, however, that adventurous, exciting routes exist!!  that’s what I’m goin’ for. the ones where I couldn’t begin to imagine doing things on my own – but where I need God to come through.  where I need to rely on Him, in faith.

but I’m keeping the rest of my thoughts about my plans under wraps right now (as in, I’m not blogging about it yet until I’ve made a decision – but you can pray for wisdom and discernment for me!).

tonight I went to see the little Segard offsprings – I was going thru withdrawal.  I hadn’t seen them since saturday when we got back from O-town.  I love those little boogers.  I missed the rest of my fam too (really, Mom – I missed you! awww!) oh and Kristi got here today!!!!

we are studying Romans in small group. this week we did Romans 6.  it talks a lot about not being a slave to sin, but being free in Christ and a slave to righteousness.  it was an uber good reminder that I don’t have to be a slave to sin, like the ones that aren’t so much obvious from the outside.

this weekend, Amanda and I are headed up to Boca to get her sister, Meredith!!  so stoked to have these amazing sisters BOTH living back down here!  we’ve already all agreed that before we come home Sunday, a stop at the beach is necessary.  the real beach, you know – the one with waves.  ;)  even if it’s a short stop.  and I’m praying for waves so we can play in them and sit in awe of surfers and kiteboarders.  seeing them play in our awesome Creator’s ocean makes me giddy.  :)

and that about wraps it up for this “because I should” post.

Road Trip to Orlando

My parent's 30th wedding anniversary was In December and they wanted to do something with our whole fam. But since I wasn't home, they waited and decided to take us all on a trip to Disney World! So here we are!









Ready to hit Disney tomorrow! Magic Kingdom, here we come!

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Cooking Revisited

Dude. Totally cooked last night. No fires. Totally edible. Holla!! :D

I learned a lot. For instance, when it calls for 2 cloves of garlic, that does not mean 2 whole bulb-things of garlic. I never even knew there were cloves in garlic. My friend walked in right when I was peeling the first garlic thing and I asked how I chop up garlic because I never had before. So they peel it and go "here's a clove, here's a clove, here's another one..." and I said, "wait...so if it calls for 2 cloves of garlic, that doesn't mean 2 whole things...??"

Yeah, definitely glad I asked how to cut garlic.

I also learned what al-dente means. I don't know if I spelled that right. But apparently lots of people know that term.

It was supposed to be a "20 minutes or less" meal. It took me over an hour.

But - let me remind you - there were no fires in the kitchen this time!!!!
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a good week

this has been my 4th week back in the Keys.  first week having a set schedule for work.  I’m working part-time right now for my dad, 8-noon every day (mon-fri).  got my first paycheck today in like 5 months!  I decided to go retro and revert back to my days working at j crew in college – where every friday (payday), as soon as I got out of work, I would jump in my car and play NSYNC’s song “Just Got Paid” really loud and dance.  so that’s what I did today.  after I got a chai at Leigh Ann’s (hey, it’s been like 2 weeks since I got one).  a cold front blew in last night so today was a perfect “cool” day (high 60’s) to get a hot drink!

my friend brandon and I went up to play volleyball last friday night and had some great talks on the drive.  the dude’s cool – if you don’t know him, you should.

among other things, we talked about what my plans are for the near future – a topic that brings much confusion and frustration to me because I can’t figure out what direction to head.  but he had an uber cool outlook on what it looks like to be “in God’s will”.  he doesn’t worry about being in God’s will because in the morning when he wakes up, he tells God to take all of him.  then he goes about his day trusting that God is directing his steps.

so that’s what I’ve been doing this week.  and it’s been amazing.

I wasn’t going to share what I did this week because I absolutely do not want it coming across as boasting about what great things “I” did.  but I realized that – who knows – maybe by me sharing what God’s been leading me to do will inspire others. so I share the following to point out His glory and His awesomeness and not my own, ok?  it’s nothing I would have done on my own, that’s for sure.

so sunday night I was about to feel overwhelmed with the “ok I have every afternoon free this week…what in the world am I going to do to fill my afternoons??”.  I’ve truly enjoyed having a couple weeks off of nothingness planned.  it was great, after having the last 5 months planned out for me and having always had a job since moving down here to the Keys.  so it was really fun.  but it eventually got to be overkill and I was ready to be active and involved again.

I realized last week that I think I’m actually a people person.  I don’t think of myself as one.  but I realized that when I’m around people, I’m energized.  I love being with people.  too much alone time and I go nuts.  give me people!!

sorry, getting off topic.

so – sunday night – yes. I decided to ask God what I should do this week (great idea, right?).  and I felt like I should do a prayer walk thru the city, down US 1, from Coco Plum down to the 7 Mile bridge.  not all in one day. :) so two days this week I walked and prayed during the afternoon for 1-2 hours each time, praying over the city – for people in general, for specific people, asking God to have His heart for this city and asking for vision and direction as to what He wants to accomplish here.

it’s been awesome. the first day I walked Coco Plum to Walgreens and back (about 3 miles).  the second day I walked from Walgreens to Publix and back (about 5.25 miles).  I still have the other half of town to do.  but it’s really cool how praying for your city/community brings up a new love and perspective for the people.  I can’t really explain it.

the other end of town starts to get rougher…I’m kinda hoping someone wants to go with me.  preferably someone big but I’ll take anyone.  :)  so if anyone’s reading this and lives in the area… hint hint.

the other cool thing that’s been goin’ on this week is Ms. Kelly and I have been hanging out with the homeless that hang out around the bus stop.  they’re fun, they love to entertain us with their jokes.  :) a lot of the jokes are dirty.  so every time they say “ok I have a joke!” I tell them it has to be clean.  sometimes they clean the joke up.  and then sometimes they go “well…it’s cleaner than that other one I told…”  :) one of the guys (whose pupils were like pin dots because he was so loaded up on drugs) gave me the rest of his can of beer.  I set it beside me and hoped he wouldn’t notice.  he didn’t. :)

what was interesting was 3 of the 4 conversations we had with people quickly turned to talking about God.  they always brought it up, not us.  so either that was a God thing or they are used to “Christians” ministering to them that they know how to play the game.  who knows.  either way, it was an open door to talk about Him.

we got to take one of the women we met out to lunch at McDonald’s – happy meals for all of us!  she is so cute – she’s so little!  today was her birthday so we went early this morning to the tree they hang out by and decorated it and put a happy birthday sign up.  then this afternoon we stopped by and she was there and we gave her cookies.

I honestly don’t know what the “end goal” (that sounds so manipulating…ugh) is.  yeah it’d be awesome if they all became followers of Jesus and cleaned their lives up and helped others do the same. it’d be awesome if they could get off the drugs and alcohol and “do something” with their lives.  but what does that look like for them?  my idea of a “good life” and their idea of a “good life” and God’s idea of a “good life” may all look totally different.  I want to know what God’s vision for them is.  in the meantime, I suppose it’s just about building relationship and friendship and seeing them as Jesus sees them and not as “those people” (as we often separate the working class from the homeless).

it’s been a good week because I’ve tried to give each day to God and allow Him to guide my steps.  and I’ve walked, trusting that He’s guiding my steps because I’ve asked Him to.  He is faithful.

Barbara!!!!

I just saw a manatee!!!! It's in the middle of this pic! I spotted it from the balcony and ran down as fast as I could (via elevator). Yay!!!



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Mr Jim and Ms Kelly rock and are so gracious!! My current crib...


Riding the elevator to the top - 14th floor... :)



Aww look at Zeva down there! She looks so cute and little...


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sand in my ears

this morning i went up to Key Largo w/Marty to play beach volleyball. loved it. missed it incredibly. i don't think i've played since last summer. i forgot how different of a game it is from indoor. but it's good. so good. after i showered, i was still cleaning sand out of my ears.

i've moved over to Jim & Kelly's penthouse and am staying with them for at least the next week or 2. it's...a-mazing. i keep telling people it's bittersweet because while it's amazing, it also reminds me of when some of us girls came down here for spring break in college and stayed in the other penthouse. so i keep feeling like i'm on spring break and get all excited...and then remember i'm not on spring break and i don't have my girls here. sad. :)

headed up to Lifepointe Church tonight - holla!

there's a guy out in the water riding his jet ski in circles...over...and over...and over... haha what an exciting ride he's having...???

oh yeah - i upgraded to the iphone 4 yesterday :) Radio Shack gave me like $132 for my iphone 3G (+ my old charger). sweetness! i decided to upgrade while they were offering that much $ - i was afraid i wouldn't get that much, if any, if i waited too long. and i got a free case. hahaha 'cause i'm ridiculously good looking. really.

keep it real.
-jen

Jesus!!

Um. I get to see Jesus face to face one day!!! I get to fully be in God's Presence!!! Ahh!!! Sometimes those facts just feel so far off and I become callous to them because we toss it around so much in the Christian world. But dude it's for real and it's gonna happen!!! Stoked!!!


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“Jesus Calling”–Feb 28th

I don’t know the rules of blogging things from books…so I’m just going to do it and if someone has a problem with it, I’ll remove it. :)

I’m really lovin’ the daily little devotions in this little book called “Jesus Calling”.  Here are excerpts from today’s:

“Stop judging and evaluation yourself, for this is not your role.  Above all, stop comparing yourself with other people.  This produces feelings of pride or inferiority; sometimes, a mixture of both.  I [God] lead each of My children along a path that is uniquely tailor-made for him or her.  Comparing is not only wrong; it is also meaningless.

“Don’t look for affirmation in the wrong places: your own evaluations, or those of other people.  The only source of real affirmation is My [God’s] unconditional Love…

“I died for your sins, that I might clothe you in My garments of salvation.  This is how I see you: radiant in My robe of righteousness…

“Immerse yourself in My [God’s] loving Presence.  Be receptive to My affirmation, which flows continually from the throne of grace.”

One of the Scripture references for this entry is Isaiah 61:10:

“I delight greatly in the LORD;
   my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
   and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
   and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.”

I love Isaiah 61.  I could do a whole blog entry on it.  ok maybe I will.  :)

great is His faaaaaithfulness

I got the Jesus Culture “Come Away” album this past week.  if you have it, you’ll know the song the title of this entry is from.

saturday morning I filled up a page in my prayer journal listing areas I saw God’s faithfulness over the past 5 or 6 months of my life.  I could’ve filled a lot of pages, I’m sure.  but it was so cool to do that – to remind myself of His faithfulness.  all He has provided for me, how He was carried me by His strength when I’m weak.

re-entry back into the real world has its rough times.  so confused at where I’m supposed to be, what I’m supposed to be doing.  there’s 2 directions I’m still trying to choose between (and maybe God wants me going a totally different direction and I’m not picking up on that yet…).  youth ministry in the Keys or pursuing worship leading up in the Denver/Cheyenne area.  I absolutely love my car and don’t want to sell her, but there are some days I wonder if I should just sell it and go live in Australia or a Spanish-speaking country for a little while.  live off the money from selling my car.

on 1/29/11 I posted an entry on here and said this: “i guess God knows i work best on short notice, when i dont have time to worry about it beforehand.”  a day or 2 later, our team all got little cards that staff/students at the YWAM Skien base had written for us.  they were things they had prayed about, asking God for words/pictures for each of us.  mine was crazy dead-on.  I’ll list the other things and explain why they’re dead-on but 3rd on the list says this: “Picture of an 8 ball, you are good under pressures –it’s a gift”.  ok that was like 1/30/11 that we got these cards.  look again at the beginning of this paragraph – the quote from my blog entry that I wrote 1/29/11.  haha whaaaat?  it’s so true.  I can focus better and work faster and “just do it” when I’m under pressure.  it was crazy to see that on this card (I’m always a bit skeptical when people pray to get “words/pictures” for others).

the other things on the card:

-“The more you know your identity, the more you will walk in Authority.”  Identity is one area that God has really been shaping within me over the past year or so and an area I really felt God grew confidence in me over the 5 months I was at YWAM.  and that statement is so true.  know Whose you are.
-“You are a leader” – this is something I never believed about myself until I went thru outreach and realized I DO have leadership ability in me.
-“God used the weak in the world’s eyes to glorify Himself.  He wants to use you.”  there are some things in life (like leading worship) that I always thought I was too weak to do and I would never be able to do it.  I determined to try it over outreach if the opportunity came up – to operate in my weakness and allow God to be my strength.  when Shane took me to the airport to fly to YWAM last September, he reminded me of this super cool dude (I can’t remember his name…Nick?) from Australia with no arms and no legs and how he’s changing lives by sharing his testimony and doing what he can, in spite of the “weakness” of having no arms/legs.  he’s allowing God to use him in mighty ways.  I used to (and still often do) see myself as weak weak weak – but I know and have experienced God’s strength and power to use the weak.
-“Song: Lead Me to the Cross” – this was the last song I had led at the youth group we went to the weekend before in Holum!  it was the one and only time I did that song during the whole outreach – and I gave it all to God when I led it.  worshipped abandoned to fear of man and keeping my eyes on Jesus.
-this last one was written by a Norwegian I think, because some of the wording doesn’t make sense but I think this is what it was saying: “Picture of a boat and you were controlling the boat.  But Jesus wanted to control the boat for you.  He wants to take all your burdens, all your tears.  He just wants to love you and show you where to go…”

Sail Away

Today was a fun day! Amanda and Zoe spent the night after vball. This morning we went to the Stuffed Pig for breakfast and they were having their annual pig races. :) then we went out on Shane's sailboat and anchored off a nearby island (not before seeing a stingray jump out the water and a sea turtle!!) and we all jumped in the water to scrape the barnacles off the bottom of the boat. It was surprisingly not AS cold as I thought it'd be! My teeth were chattering by the time we finished though. Then we got to go for a sail - it was so beautiful and calm!! Mmm!!! Then we brought her back in and gave her a good scrub down. She looked so beautiful!!







Tonight we had porterhouse steaks, black beans & coconut rice, and clams. Oh my goodness. A great day. :)
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El Mismo Dios (the same God)

God gave me a much needed realization this past Monday.  there have been many times over the past months where I’ve thought, “oh my goodness – what do I do after DTS is done??” and it’s kept me awake for hours on some nights. 

I’ll get back to that…but first…

I am completely 100% stoked to be home – oh my goodness.  my parents picked me up from the Fort Lauderdale airport Saturday evening and before we made it to the turnpike I had stuck my head out of my car (they brought Zeva up!!) twice and squealed with delight that my face wasn’t freezing off!  Palm trees.  Beautiful orange/pink sunset.  Pollo Tropical (Cuban fast food restaurant) at Exit 16 and Starbucks at Florida City before getting on the 18-mile stretch into the Keys.  I don’t think I stopped smiling the whole 2 1/2 hour drive home.  Sunday morning I couldn’t wait to take Zeva for a drive so we went down the 7-mile bridge and pulled off at the little beach area on the left and I got out and put my toes in the sand – mmmm!

Sunday my head felt like it was spinning – not the dizzy kind of spinning, but the kind of spinning where you’re like “…is this for real?”  my family moved houses while I was gone, so coming “home” didn’t really feel like home to me – this foreign house on a road I had hardly been down before.  it felt more like a cool house we were renting for a week of spring break.  so Sunday I still had this feeling like…am I really in the Keys?  then I realized what I needed.  I went to Shane’s house and jumped in the big bean bag (even though he wasn’t home) and then it hit me – I was home.    something of familiarity.  when I walked in the door, I actually took a deep breath as if to take in the smells…sometimes I forget I have no sense of smell.  haha true story.

so I laid in the bean bag for a couple hours (it’s a magical place – quite possibly my most favorite indoor place in the world – and I have travelled the world now!).  I started getting hit with the reality of the fact that I had no job (no income), I didn’t know where I was going to live after these 2 weeks, and I didn’t know what direction God was calling me to go.  I tried to shove off those thoughts for the day, though.  I wanted to enjoy my first day home.

of course, Monday morning rolled around (it always does.  good ol’ faithful Monday).  I started getting caught up in those thoughts of reality again.  I went to Psalm 34, a chapter I have been delighting in over the past few weeks.  I love the whole chapter, but I’ll just put a couple parts of it in here:

Psalm 34-
¹ I will extol the LORD at all times;
   his praise will always be on my lips.
² I will glory in the LORD;
   let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
³ Glorify the LORD with me;
   let us exalt his name together.

⁴ I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
   he delivered me from all my fears.
----------
8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;
   blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
⁹ Fear the LORD, you his holy people,
   for those who fear him lack nothing.
¹⁰ The lions may grow weak and hungry,
   but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

 

I am loving this Psalm right now because I know it to be Truth.  I saw it played out in my life over the past 5 months, especially over the 2 months I was overseas.  I could go into it, but it might be off topic so if you want to hear more on that, ask me.

but God reminded me that He is the same God here, in the Keys, as He was when I was in Denver.  He is the same God, here, in the Keys, as He was when I was overseas in Estonia, Latvia, and Norway.  He does not change.

if He showed me His faithfulness over the past 5 months, why would He suddenly become unfaithful?  If He provided everything I needed and more over the past 5 months, why would He suddenly remove His provision?  the God that shared many adventures with me over the past 5 months is the same God that wants to continue having so many more adventures with me! He delights in me!

I had this illogical fear while I was away that I would come home and have no income and would not be able to afford rent anywhere and I was going to have to be homeless and eat out of dumpsters.  haha   hey, if it came to that – I know God is still good.  but I don’t think that will happen.

this morning I was meditating on Psalm 19 (SO good!!!) and I found myself sitting there in bed, staring off across the room, my mind trying to grab hold of God’s voice, seeking direction from Him and not hearing anything.  I started getting lost in my thoughts again.  and then…

this huge neon sign came down out of the ceiling and told me what to do.  ok I’m totally kidding.  that didn’t happen.  what DID happen was I went to take care of some business (cough, cough) and saw a book called “Jesus Calling – Enjoying Peace in His Presence” and so I opened it and it’s this book that has a little devotion to read each day.  so I opened to February 16 and the first 2 lines said, “Thank Me for the conditions that are requiring you to be still.  Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away, waiting impatiently to be active again.”

the same God that spoke to me over the last 5 months is the same God that will continue to speak to me as I be still and listen.

Tampa

I'm sitting on my last plane!! Just boarded in Tampa and oh my goodness - it's only 55 out but inside the plane is the familiar feel of slightly stuffy heat...oh my goodness it feels so wonderful!!!! :)


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Surreal

So I'm on the plane, headed first to Tampa and then to Fort Lauderdale - same stop I had on my way out to Denver. It's crazy to sit here and think about how I felt on the way out 5 months ago. Is this really happening? Did I really just spend 5 months away? Did I really go to Europe for 7 weeks??


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2 more things to do

2 more things i want to do when i get home:

1-watch movies in Spanish so i can learn more
2-seriously commit to learning guitar so i can lead worship on my own when there's not a band to play with

i think if i vocalize it (or...whatever it's considered over a blog), then i can be held accountable and it makes the commitment more secure (that's not the word i was thinking of, but i'm still suffering from vocab loss after traveling thru Europe for the past 2 months).

jargmine peatus...FLORIDA!

that's Estonian for "next stop - Florida!" (i memorized it from our endless hours riding busses in Estonia).

i'm sitting in the Denver airport, waiting to board - which is in about 2 hours. :P this morning on the way to the airport, we saw a beautiful orange/pink sunrise with the city lights shining underneath and the downtown skyline looking fabulous amidst it all. as if that weren't beautiful enough, we had the sunrise out our right windows and the beautiful snow capped rocky mountain range on our left. pictures couldn't do it justice - i tried.

i am so stoked to get home and squeeze the little Segard offsprings and my family and friends!! i can't wait to go to the beach. i can't wait to go to LPC. i can't wait to drive Zeva. i can't wait to lay in my hammock. i can't wait to get some color back into this pasty white skin of mine (it's kinda to the point of embarassing).

it is going to be SO WEIRD to not have my YWAM family around 24/7.

i had my flip flops attached to my carry on. somewhere between checking in and getting thru security i lost 1. sad. at least they were worn out and way past due for throwing away. i called my mom and asked her to bring me a pair to change into. priorities, man.

i cannot wait to have lots of quiet time over the next couple of weeks!! there is a lot i want to share on here about what God has taught me and/or has done in my life over the past 5 months.

5 months. wow. that's almost 1/2 a year. it didn't sound like long when i entered in to this adventure. now when i look back it seems like a long time.

i wish airport food wasn't so stinkin' jacked up expensive. my schedule for treats today:
first, coffee - i was going to go with a chai from Starbucks but i'm getting that later. i settled for McD's.
second, jamba juice smoothie. maybe the acai/oatmeal topper.
third, pollo tropical - exit 16, baby!
fourth, Starbucks for a soy chai latte - Florida City, right before hitting the 18 mile stretch into earthly paradise!!

eeeek!!

man i miss traveling with people - there's no one to watch my bags so i can wander off.

within the last week, by the end of today, i will have hit up 6 different airports - 1 of which (Denver) i'll have hit twice...so that would be 7 airport visits, but 6 different ones.

i've continued to wake up by 4:15am everyday this week (except Sunday). this morning i woke up at 3:30am. beautiful. :P hey, at least it was easy to be up and ready for our 6am departure from the base.

oh my goodness i just started singing "Avalanche" in my head and almost teared up thinking of Kate. man, withdrawal from my YWAM fam is gonna be rough (rough...aw, angel!). i swear, so many things i say/hear/see remind me of people now!

jargmine peatus...FLORIDA!

wrapping it up

today we had "report back" - where all the returning teams from outreach gave quick 10-15 minute reports to the current DTS students. we really don't have much left now - tomorrow we have small group in the morning. not sure what else. Friday we have graduation. Saturday...um...HELLO! JEN FLYS HOME!!

i was laying in bed this morning (wide awake for the 3rd day in a row at 4:15am - thank you jet lag) and thinking about flying home and then got SO excited because i thought, "OH! maybe we can stop at pollo tropical on the way home!!" oh be still my heart! the simple pleasures of life!

there is so much i'm so excited to get home to!! mmm!

definitely going to miss living in community with people though. i love living in community.

i make myself stay awake until 8pm. but at 8pm - jen goes to bed and literally crashes on her pillow.

antsy

this last week of DTS (debrief week at the Eagle Rock base in the mountains) is killin' me. it's crawling by. i just want to be back in the Keys. trying hard to live in the moment but failing. :P anyone want to pay the extra $ for me to fly home early? anyone??

last night in Norway!

Jae surprised us with a hotel this last night in Norway!!!! we thought we were going to spend the night in the airport here in Oslo, but instead we are in a hotel!! what a blessing!!! breakfast is at 5am and then we head back to US soil! oh my heart leaps! i cannot wait to be back in the States - back to where i know how much things cost and they're cheaper and there's Starbucks and most everyone speaks English! i cannot wait even more to be back in the KEYS! oh my heart!!!!!!!! i get so giddy!