El Mismo Dios (the same God)

God gave me a much needed realization this past Monday.  there have been many times over the past months where I’ve thought, “oh my goodness – what do I do after DTS is done??” and it’s kept me awake for hours on some nights. 

I’ll get back to that…but first…

I am completely 100% stoked to be home – oh my goodness.  my parents picked me up from the Fort Lauderdale airport Saturday evening and before we made it to the turnpike I had stuck my head out of my car (they brought Zeva up!!) twice and squealed with delight that my face wasn’t freezing off!  Palm trees.  Beautiful orange/pink sunset.  Pollo Tropical (Cuban fast food restaurant) at Exit 16 and Starbucks at Florida City before getting on the 18-mile stretch into the Keys.  I don’t think I stopped smiling the whole 2 1/2 hour drive home.  Sunday morning I couldn’t wait to take Zeva for a drive so we went down the 7-mile bridge and pulled off at the little beach area on the left and I got out and put my toes in the sand – mmmm!

Sunday my head felt like it was spinning – not the dizzy kind of spinning, but the kind of spinning where you’re like “…is this for real?”  my family moved houses while I was gone, so coming “home” didn’t really feel like home to me – this foreign house on a road I had hardly been down before.  it felt more like a cool house we were renting for a week of spring break.  so Sunday I still had this feeling like…am I really in the Keys?  then I realized what I needed.  I went to Shane’s house and jumped in the big bean bag (even though he wasn’t home) and then it hit me – I was home.    something of familiarity.  when I walked in the door, I actually took a deep breath as if to take in the smells…sometimes I forget I have no sense of smell.  haha true story.

so I laid in the bean bag for a couple hours (it’s a magical place – quite possibly my most favorite indoor place in the world – and I have travelled the world now!).  I started getting hit with the reality of the fact that I had no job (no income), I didn’t know where I was going to live after these 2 weeks, and I didn’t know what direction God was calling me to go.  I tried to shove off those thoughts for the day, though.  I wanted to enjoy my first day home.

of course, Monday morning rolled around (it always does.  good ol’ faithful Monday).  I started getting caught up in those thoughts of reality again.  I went to Psalm 34, a chapter I have been delighting in over the past few weeks.  I love the whole chapter, but I’ll just put a couple parts of it in here:

Psalm 34-
¹ I will extol the LORD at all times;
   his praise will always be on my lips.
² I will glory in the LORD;
   let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
³ Glorify the LORD with me;
   let us exalt his name together.

⁴ I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
   he delivered me from all my fears.
----------
8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;
   blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
⁹ Fear the LORD, you his holy people,
   for those who fear him lack nothing.
¹⁰ The lions may grow weak and hungry,
   but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

 

I am loving this Psalm right now because I know it to be Truth.  I saw it played out in my life over the past 5 months, especially over the 2 months I was overseas.  I could go into it, but it might be off topic so if you want to hear more on that, ask me.

but God reminded me that He is the same God here, in the Keys, as He was when I was in Denver.  He is the same God, here, in the Keys, as He was when I was overseas in Estonia, Latvia, and Norway.  He does not change.

if He showed me His faithfulness over the past 5 months, why would He suddenly become unfaithful?  If He provided everything I needed and more over the past 5 months, why would He suddenly remove His provision?  the God that shared many adventures with me over the past 5 months is the same God that wants to continue having so many more adventures with me! He delights in me!

I had this illogical fear while I was away that I would come home and have no income and would not be able to afford rent anywhere and I was going to have to be homeless and eat out of dumpsters.  haha   hey, if it came to that – I know God is still good.  but I don’t think that will happen.

this morning I was meditating on Psalm 19 (SO good!!!) and I found myself sitting there in bed, staring off across the room, my mind trying to grab hold of God’s voice, seeking direction from Him and not hearing anything.  I started getting lost in my thoughts again.  and then…

this huge neon sign came down out of the ceiling and told me what to do.  ok I’m totally kidding.  that didn’t happen.  what DID happen was I went to take care of some business (cough, cough) and saw a book called “Jesus Calling – Enjoying Peace in His Presence” and so I opened it and it’s this book that has a little devotion to read each day.  so I opened to February 16 and the first 2 lines said, “Thank Me for the conditions that are requiring you to be still.  Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away, waiting impatiently to be active again.”

the same God that spoke to me over the last 5 months is the same God that will continue to speak to me as I be still and listen.