reoccurring theme: surrender

it seems God’s been working on my heart for months now on the subject of surrender.  last April I felt like He was asking me to surrender my small-minded, one-directional dreams of what I wanted to do with the life He’s given me.  I felt like He was asking me to surrender my stubborn, “I’m not goin’ anywhere” attitude toward the Keys (have I ever mentioned I love it here?  I love the people.  the culture.  the scenery.  the weather.  pretty much everything).  so that’s what I did.  (see entry: http://getstoked.blogspot.com/2011/04/doors.html)

and God blew me away.  opportunities for things I wouldn’t have pursued in the past popped up.  I got to help out at a youth group for awhile (Momentum – represent!!!!).  I got a super sweet place of my own to rent for dirt cheap (I have good friends, definitely blessed).  I got the opportunity to head out West to intern with my cousins’ worship ministry (Continuous Worship Ministries) for the month of July (had the privilege of doing worship at 2 camps, a family camp in NE and a jr high camp in WY).

once again, I feel God calling me to surrender (seems to be a daily, if not moment-by-moment choice sometimes).  to surrender my stubborn attitude of staying in the Keys, mostly.  He has reminded me this week that Jesus surrendered His life & died on a cross – just to save me.  the least I can do is surrender my comforts & one-directional dreams, take up my cross (dying to my selfish desires), and follow His leading.

and I feel He’s leading me to continue my time out West right now.  I am shocked at the peace and vision He is giving me for this crazy, unexpected turn of events.  I have no idea how long this is for.  it could be short.  it could not be.  I just know that I’ve told God “no” for waaaay too long of my life in the area of using the gifts He’s given me.  it’s time I surrender my fears/unsurity of the gifts He’s given me and trust Him. (un-sure-ity…maybe that’s not a word, but it is now because I went to college & have a degree & therefore should have the right to make up words).

surrendering is not without pain.  it is not easy at all to think about packing up and heading out of the Keys again.  I think I’ve mentioned before that I love it here?  oh…yeah…I think I did. ;)  praying God leads me back down here quickly…