a thought on pride

i've just started a new book i got over Thanksgiving break, it's called "Humility - True Greatness" by C.J. Mahaney. since i didn't have to work today and everyone is out of my house doing different things, i decided it was a good time to sit in my quiet house and do a little reading. i read the following passage and i think it has so much impact to it that i couldn't help but post it on here. and as a disclaimer, i wasn't reading this passage thinking "oh, so and so needs to hear this" or anything, and the quoting of this passage is not directed at anybody, so no one go off and think "oh she SO wrote that because of me, i hate her and her sombrero!"...or anything like that. it's just a passage that impacted me in a big way when i read it and i pray it will continue to impact me.

"Pride takes innumerable forms but has only one end: self-glorification. That's the motive and ultimate purpose of pride - to rob God of legitimate glory and to pursue self-glorification, contending for supremacy with Him. The proud person seeks to glorify himself and not God, thereby attempting in effect to deprive God of something only He is worhty to receive. No wonder God opposes pride. No wonder He hates pride." (pg. 32)

pride is one of those sins that sometimes is not blatantly visible in people's lives. if someone has a problem with getting drunk, you know it. if someone has a problem with sexual morality, you know it. it's visible, you see their struggle. THEY know they're sinning (i'm talking from a believer's standpoint). pride often hides below the surface. it's a sin that is hard to realize you have unless you take time to allow the Holy Spirit to search your heart and show you where you struggle in living a life in total submission to the Lord. but it's such a serious sin. i'd even venture to say that pride is, in essence, at the root of all sin. it's a serious sin that's often not taken seriously.

back to reading.

keep it real.
~jen~

this little thing called "L..."

no, not love.

it's this little thing named Lucy that has kept me busy the past week and a half. andy, sadie, and lucy flew in on the 18th and are staying until Jan. 2nd. i'm getting tons of time in with them and it's been so much fun! i'm anxious to spend some more time with my friends though (for real, guys!). but i know that after they leave next monday, i'll have tons and tons of time to run around with a sombrero on my head and scream "holy guacamole!" with my friends.

i'm sitting here, drinking my coffee, waiting for the rest of the gang to get ready so we can FINALLY go to kregel and pick up some new music.

i caved this week. i went and saw Narnia with my family. ONLY because my mom had free gift certificates for all of us to go so i didn't have to pay. i've never been a fan of the Narnia stuff. yes, i hear those gasps of disbelief from you all. i don't like Narnia, i don't like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, i don't like the Wizard of Oz, i don't like Lord of the Rings. there, i said it. i don't know why i don't like these movies, but i think it's because of the overwhelming presence of masked characters. i have a phobia of people in masks. yes, i'm weird. i also can't stand lipstick, it makes me want to gag.

Narnia was a very well-made movie and has such an awesome message to it. i'll give it that. i might even watch it again if someone rents it.

it is so dark and gloomy out. it's been like this pretty much all week. when i lived in california, i would've been so stoked to have a dark and gloomy day. i'd get all excited and want to curl up inside and hope for a big thunderstorm. that's because it was usually sunny there and to have full cloud-cover was rare. in michigan, it's more rare to see the sun than to see the clouds (especially in the winter). so while it's exciting for maybe the first day, after the 1,248,309th consecutive day of darkness, it gets a little old.

so maybe that's a little bit of an exaggeration. but still.

possibly some big plans in the works for this summer. stay tuned as they solidify. (oooh - now i have you curious, eh?)

kregel, here i come.

keep it real.
~jen~

Soon to come

new post soon to come, i half promise. after this next monday (dec. 5th i think) i'll have time to write up something. stay tuned, yo.

keep it real.
jen

the idea of posting overwhelms me

yes, that's right. the idea of posting overwhelms me. because i have so much i want to post and i can never decide where to start. and many of the things i don't even know if i should post about. some people get offended. some people don't like being "preached" to. others would rather me just talk about random things i do each day instead of what God's doing in my life. do you really want me to spew all the stuff that's running through my head, that keeps me awake some nights? nah, that'd probably cause a mess. some stuff's just not meant for blogging.

the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! (hahaha okay, totally being sarcastingly dramatic there, just had to throw in a movie quote)

oh, don't worry. there's lots of good stuff going on in this head of mine too. :) i am so thankful that i can know the God that desires to have every moment with me, desires to know every detail of my life, desires to be my one true desire.

my laptop is making weird whirrring noises. it probably's about time to turn it off for the night. here's to a super busy week ahead. thanksgiving break is gonna feel goooood :D

keep it real.
~jen~

update on my family in the Keys

just thought i'd share an update on my sister, bro-in-law, niece, and friends who live in Marathon, FL (in the florida keys). it had looked like hurricane wilma might not impact them much, but instead it was one of the hardest hit Keys. go figure.

little lucy butt slept thru the entire thing last night, which was a blessing. the rest of them didn't get much sleep because the hurricane was so loud. they woke up in the morning and thought they had faired pretty well. andy & shane took the truck out and drove around the area to assess the damage and the neighbors on another street warned them the storm surge was coming in quick. they went down another street and sure enough, saw tons of water coming down the road. they rushed home and had about 15 minutes to get everything they could and put it up high. the storm surge flooded their house and cars with about 2 feet of water (which also included sewage). the water has gone out now, but there is so much damage. sadie's car flooded up to the windows and looks like it is unsalvageable but they've got andy's truck running. a couple from the church had an empty condo on the 14th floor of a building that they were looking for renters for, so the 5 of them (sadie, andy, lucy, shane, and jenna) are all going to rent the condo for the next month while they fix up the house.

please pray for them when the Lord brings them to your mind.
pray for:
-peace, comfort
-sanity, as cramming 5 people in 1 condo will definitely be a test of patience (sadie & andy are married, shane heads up the youth ministry, and jenna is working in the keys for a little while longer until she joins her husband on the west coast - so obviously, they're all from different situations)
-pray for the safety of their belongings left in the house; they had to leave the house open tonight to air it out so mold won't start growing, so pray that God protects their house from looters
-pray for guidance as they decide what the best steps to take are

it is so hard knowing they need help but not being able to be there to help them.

and marissa - they did get some video, but my mom wasn't sure if they got it of the actual hurricane :P thought you'd be interested to know that.

keep it real.
please pray for them.
~jen~

drumroll, please

here it is. a new post. isn't it so like...such a let-down when you see someone has a blog listed in their profile or something and you click on it to see what's going on in their life and they haven't updated it for like...80 years? yeah...

the problem has been that i think about putting up a new post and i'm so overwhelmed with the decision of what to write about, because i have so much i've been being taught by God lately.

a lot's been going on, both good and bad. i'll be honest, it's been a rough semester :) the 2 most recent things:

1, i got a call today from a dude who's car i backed into when he blocked my car in at my house. he's one of the construction guys. he finally got an estimate on his car, and it's going to cost most of my savings to fix it. i'll have maybe $100 left, period, if i combined my 2 bank accounts. there goes all the hard work saving my money over the summer. i have no clue how fixing the scratch on his driver's door could cost $500+...we live in an expensive world.

2, sadie, andy, lucy, and shane have decided they're going to ride out hurricane wilma down in the keys. so that's just a tad bit (okay, a bit more than a tad) unnerving knowing they're down there and waiting to see what happens with the hurricane. crazy kids.

i went to Sweet Briar college (all-girls school) tonight for their chapel service. tara & laura were leading worship and tabitha was giving the message (her testimony). it was beautiful. it was one of those times where i totally knew God had brought me there for a reason. i was reminded of how temporary things are. my house, my belongings, my money, even my body. praise God thru the storms and ever-intensify your passion for Jesus.

here's the update on my house: it's not done, i'm living in the hotel still with tara. atleast i finally get to live with this amazing girl. now i've gotten to live with all my roommates separately (kristen all last year, heidi for the first month of this semester, and now tara) and i love living with them all!! which is a good thing, and i knew i would, but it's just extra enforced now :) i can't wait 'til we all live together under the same roof (and that doesn't count the hotel's roof).

well, i've finished my decaf coffee. that means it's time to wrap this up.

keep it real.
~jen~

post #71

i have broken past my 70th post on this thing! that's a lot of expelliationing of thoughts, eh? 70 posts. and here's to 71. going strong.

so i will confess, i'm a dork. i wanted to see if i had posted about the Under the Overpass book i read in may, so i went to my May archives and ended up reading all the posts from the month :) not incredibly dorky. but wait, there's more. as i read, i started laughing out loud...at my own wise cracks and sarcasm. i'm thinking, "ha ha - man, i'm funny". so, i don't know if you guys get a kick out of reading my posts, but i sure do :D my old posts, anyway. the vast majority of my recent posts have been pretty lacking on the humor side, so i'll try to spice things back up.

but not tonight. i want to go read Lamentations :D mmmmmmmm!

keep it real.
~jen~

only in the everglades

i felt i should share this with you guys, just incase you're thinking about letting your pet alligators loose in the everglades... (???)

creepy.

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9600151/

flooding produces more patience :)

who ever thought the remnants of a tropical depression that came across northern florida could produce so many problems way up in central virginia? atleast 1 of the LU dorm buildings flooded, lightning hit a tower so LU had a power outage friday which canceled all friday classes, and jodi & jess's basement apartment has flooded. (well, not flooded-flooded. i don't know what you call it. but water's soaking thru the walls and the carpet and some places when you step on the carpet, water comes up over your foot :P ). there's mold growing already and apparently it smells horrible in here (notice, i said "apparently"). since all of the carpet will have to be replaced and a couple of the walls torn down and rebuilt, they're going to move to an apartment for the rest of the semester at least. so, probably early this next week we'll be moving all their stuff and my stuff (well...the stuff that's not in my storage unit) into an apartment. this is move #4 for me this semester. and i still haven't gotten to move into my house. :) it's been a crazy, testing semester, that's for sure.

i find with each move, i'm less and less phased by it. my dad said God's teaching me how to be flexible. well, it's sure working. :) that's the only good thing i can find that's come from this semester so far. i think He's teaching me how to live a more simplified life, too. i have a feeling by the time i move into my house, i'll want to give away (or throw away) a ton of the little knick-knack things i have, just because i've lived this much of the semester just fine without them and all they do is take up space.

i'm a pretty firm believer that everything happens for a reason. and no matter what the circumstance, we are able to bring glory to God regardless. but i'll be honest, it's been really hard to find out what the point of all this craziness has been. maybe i'll never know. or maybe (more likely), i'll find out the reason farther down the road.

oh!! i finally am getting some hours at j crew this week! that's a big answer to prayer (isn't it awesome when you pray about something and can see the prayer answered right before your eyes??). i just have 14 hours scheduled, but i am so thankful just for anything. a little income is better than no income, eh?

i've been going to Redeemer Presbyterian church the past few Sundays. i went once last semester and loved it and went to the Monday night college Bible studies. i'm pretty sure i'm going to make Redeemer the church i attend regularly while i'm here at LU. i love going, i'm challenged by the message each week and there is just so much love and joy that is evident in the church body. what's been really cool for me to experience is going to a church where the worship style isn't my preference, but yet i can still worship and fellowship and be challenged. the worship style is traditional and they mainly sing hymns and laid-back choruses, but the ones they pick to sing have beautiful lyrics that you can sing and truly mean because you can understand what you're singing.

it made me a little nervous last semester to think of going to a, dare i say it? presbyterian church. because i was raised in a Bible church, then in a baptist church, visited among the non-denominational churches. but never went to a presbyterian church. what i've learned though, is that many presbyterian churches are right on, doctrinally speaking. i've never been crazy about labeling myself as a specific denom.. what matters to me is that the church is a Bible-believing church, a church that is pleasing to God and seeks to glorify Him. that the messages are from the Word of God and not just some preacher's "ideas". i'm not a baptist. i'm not a presbyterian. i'm a follower of Christ.

keep it real.
~jen~

a new post!!

Sorry for the lack of updates people. I moved out of my wireless-internet hotel room this past weekend and am living once again with jodi & Jessica. It should only be for a week and then hopefully this weekend we can move into our house. But I really don’t plan on anything these days so we’ll see if it really happens.

I’m watching the televised broadcast of the Super Conference going on at Liberty right now. I decided to stay home tonight and watch it on TV instead of actually going to it. Just for kicks and giggles. And it does in fact make me giggle. See, there’s these 4 massive screens hanging in the 4 corners of the arena that the conference is being held in (which is also where we have chapel and campus church, among other things). Anyway, it’s always so funny when a choir will be singing and the camera zooms in on a certain person singing. They’re just singing along and then they catch a glimpse of themselves on one of the huge screens and rarely can they ever keep going on like normal. They get this smile on their face and sometimes they even start laughing and pointing (okay, so the only ones who’ve done that were the little kids who sang once, but still - it was adorable). It’s just funny, ‘cause you know if it was you you’d probably get that goofy grin on your face too. Now falwell’s speaking. I’ll stop there. :)

One other thing that makes me giggle is when ensembles are performing and at the same exact point in the song, they extend their hands out in front of them (not lifted up - extended straight out) in praise(?). I am in no way against people expressing themselves as they worship our awesome Lord. But it just doesn’t seem as like…genuine and sincere when you see a singing ensemble do the same exact thing at the same exact time, all while looking out at the crowd. Hey, they could be as sincere and genuine as ever - but still, it just makes me giggle. :D

Here’s an item for discussion that I’d like to hear anyone’s thoughts on. What do you think is the appropriate dress for church and why? Does it matter to you - and why? If you do think there is a certain way to dress for church, what do you think when you see someone wearing attire that doesn’t represent what you believe is appropriate?

If nobody responds, I’m never going to post again (yes, that’s supposed to be a threat - not a reward). :D

Keep it real.
~jen~

true sports fans

you can't say you're a true sports fan until you pull a stunt like this one:

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/americas/09/21/fake.emergency.ap/index.html

i think this just might cross over the line to "extreme infatuation" and/or perhaps mental instability.

:)

keep it real, and keep the planes flyin'.
~jen~

the emergent mystery

i thought the title was a nice play on words. the whole emergent church movement embraces mystery (the mystery of God, the mystery of the Bible, etc), yet the movement itself remains a great mystery to me.

i'm listening through the messages given at the 1-day conference that Grand Rapids Theological Seminary held last week. one of the speakers covers the topic of "hell" and says the emergent church movement does not believe in a literal hell, that it was just a teaching tool Jesus and the disciples used. then brian mclaren, a big leader in the movement, spoke again later that day and said he can't speak for all the emergent churches, but he for one does indeed believe in a literal hell, the sacrifice of God's son, the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ. which raises the following questions - what does the "emerging church" movement believe exactly, and why don't all the churches in the movement believe the same things? because if all the churches within a certain "movement" don't all agree on basic doctrine...how can you classify them all under the same movement? and if they do differ in doctrine, is it possible then that some emergent churches are truly great churches, while other emergent churches have crossed the line to being unbiblical?

on that issue of hell that was raised, it's ridiculous to say there's no literal hell. because if there's no hell, that would mean Christ's death and resurrection was for no reason, that would mean that the "Great Commission" has no application, and then why even live your life for God? because if everyone gets to go to heaven, what's the difference between someone living their life for God and someone living their life for themself? and if there is no difference, shoot - i'm going to drop everything and go live la vida loca. :P there's no justifiable way to say there's no literal hell.

well, time for theology class with dr. caner. yessssssss :D

keep it real.
~jen~

my friend gabe

due to massive amounts of requests from 1 person, i would like to dedicate this post to my friend gabe. we've gone to the same church since i moved to michigan in 5th grade. but it wasn't until my junior year of high school that gabe came up to me and asked, "are you new here?" ouch.

gabe's a good friend. he lets me think that someday i'll get to ride his dirtbike. and he has a really cool old jeep that's painted like a zebra that he promises i'll never get to drive. but i got to ride in it this past summer and that was cool.

now he's engaged and getting married in april. then he's moving into a house near my house so when i'm home from school, i can go ride my skateboard to see him and beka and their house every day.

the end.

what is the "emerging church"?

that's a good question and a hard one to answer. i've been attempting to study it for almost a year now, but it wasn't until this summer that i finally started finding hardcore information on it. sometimes the emerging church will come up in conversation or people will read my blog and ask, "wait...the emerging church? what's that?" and i fumble over words, trying to think of a way to explain it because i'm still trying to understand what the movement is, and to know it's weaknesses/strong points.

anyway, cornerstone university (err...maybe it was the seminary there...i'm not sure) held a one-day conference thing last week and brought in brian mclaren (a big name in the movement), mike wittmer (props to the man), and ed dobson (ahh-amazing). each had a time to present their thoughts...views...stuff and then there was a Q&A time at the end (i'm just going off of what the website says, i haven't listened to the mp3's yet).

ANYWAY (again), if you're interested in listening in on the "conversations", GRTS (grand rapids theological seminary - oh...so yeah, i guess it was the seminary that put it on) has posted all the audio in mp3 format at this site: http://grts.cornerstone.edu/resources/tpoints

if anyone gives it a listen, i'd love to hear what you think about it all and what your views are. post a comment on here and/or shoot me an email.

keep it real.
~jen~

my views on Velvet Elvis

ha - fooled ya :) i've decided i'm not going to give my views on Velvet Elvis on here and this is why. i thought the book was excellent. and i came across paragraphs in there that people have pulled out and pointed their fingers at, and i realized that if they had actually read the rest of the book, even just the chapter, they would realize they totally pulled the paragraph out of context. that's how rob bell speaks/writes. he'll be sarcastic. he'll think out of the box. he'll give a "what if..." but then come back to it and explain why that "what if..." could never be true. i think that's one reason he's so often misquoted and misunderstood.

so i've decided i won't go into much discussion about the book with people unless they have read it in it's entirety. if you've read it, awesome - i'd love to discuss it with you, even if you thought it was a horrible book. actually, i welcome those kinds of discussions. i know my mind is finite and i have an extreme lack of knowledge :) that's why i want people to read the book so i can get other's views on it. i'm more than open to discussing problems people have with the book that i may have overlooked or not caught on to - as long as they've read the book in it's entirety. and i don't know if i'm spelling that word right, but it looks good enough.

i will say this. the book has challenged me to look at how i live my life and who i'm living it for. it's challenged me to know my Savior more, to be like Him, to live my life as close to His as possible. now if there's something wrong about that, i would have to whole heartedly disagree with you. violently. haha okay just kidding on the violently part :)

keep it real.
~jen~

oh yes, and i would like to give a shout out to my favorite brother because it's his birthday and i love him so much! i doubt you'll ever see this, bro, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDY!

who are you? part 2

i continued reading the end of Job today. it's such a humbling read. it reminds me just how small i am and how NOT in control i am. and how often i get in the mindset of "oh i have everything under control, life's going great" or the opposite where i worry worry worry about life's trials. i fail to acknowledge that God knows infinitely more than i do, He knows what's going on, and there's not 1 single thing i can fully control. i love also how God points out animals to Job and says "look at how much time and care i put into them - and they're animals. how much more do i care for you!"

on another topic, i love this song by Shane & Shane called "I Miss You". it's a song about those times when you don't set aside time to spend with the Lord and you feel farther away from Him. the song's about yearning for the Lord, to be close to Him again. a few of the lines go like this:

"Oh - i miss You so...it feels like forever.

Oh - the taste i know...it hurts to remember.

i had a fleeting thought this morning. and i mentioned You today.

it breaks my heart, just to know You in part.

not to be with You, where You are..."

good song. :)

keep it real.

~jen~

who are you?

i read job 38 tonight. i absolutely love the end of job where the Lord responds to Job. there's just something extra like...powerful when you read something that's straight from God (like i know the whole Bible is God's Word, but you know what i mean :) ). i love how God just like...puts Job in his place. "Who are you to question me? Were you there when I created the earth and commanded the ocean and created it's limits?" and He goes on and on, totally putting Job in his place. and it opens your eyes to a glimpse of just how powerful and mighty our God is. and it's just a tiny glimpse. so often i fail to acknowledge God's hand in His creation around me.

time to hand the computer over to k-1o and t so they can practice hip hop moves :)

keep it real.
~jen~

a quick update

i am almost completely over my cold! i accidently OD'ed (minorly) thursday night on cold medicine. i took dayquil at like, 9pm while i was at jodi and benton's house, went home and took tylenol flu/cold nightime 3 hours later at midnight (mistake #1 - i think you're supposed to wait like, 6 hours after taking dayquil before you take something more). woke up around 3:45am and popped in a couple tylenol flu/cold daytime pills, woke up at 6:50 for class and could barely walk straight :) whoops. friday morning is such a fog to me. benton drove me to class, met me after class & we got coffee and she sat me outside in the sun while she ran into her work for a minute. then she dropped me back off at the hotel where i crawled back into bed and slept a couple hours. by mid-afternoon i was over the medicine hangover and had an awesome time with my girls friday night at laura's. SO great to be back at school with them!

i think i might have pinkeye now in my left eye. and i have some odd knots on the side of my head beneath my ear...which i'm hoping is just like, swollen glands saying "hey, we're knocking that cold out for ya, so take it easy". so the left side of my head kinda feels like it's falling apart. that's okay, i always liked my right side better. just kidding. :)

our house has a couple kitchen cabinets put in and the walls have been primed. kristen said last night they were starting to paint, so i'm going to stop by after my theology class tonight and see what's been done. pray that we'll be able to move in this weekend!

i've been going to a hip hop dance aerobics class monday, tuesday, and thursday nights here on campus - it's free! and the girls are having a hip hop dance instructor (she's a freshman in college, but she's amazing) choreograph a dance for them to try out for the variety show and i decided i'd atleast go to the practices and learn some things (i don't plan on doing the show, but who knows). so we have that sunday afternoons for a couple hours and wednesday nights after church.

i re-applied at j crew yesterday (finally). that felt good to finally do it, even though it's not my 1st choice for work. they called me back today and i go in thursday to take an assessment test to see if i need to go thru training again. kristen passed it, so i'm hoping i pass. :) i think i'll like my work schedule a lot more this year because every time i work i'll be done by 5 or 6 at the latest, which leaves all my nights free (for working out & footba...i mean...homework, of course). i'll probably be working 4 hours on tuesday, 8 on thursday and 8 on friday.

and after your 1st year at LU, you have to do 20 hours of christian community service each semester. i finally found one that fits with my schedule! :::drum roll please::: i'll be helping out at the LU boy's hockey team games! hahaha :) LU's building an ice rink here on campus for them, but for now they're still playing at like...11:45pm on saturday nights in roanoke, which is about a 45 minute drive. most people don't get home 'til 3 or 4 in the morning :) but hey, benton's doing it too and it works in my schedule, so i think it'll be fun.

i think that's all to update people on for now. however, if there is a specific topic of interest that i did not cover, please submit your questions in the comment area.

HA

keep it real.
~jen~

delay of posting

you guys who read this are the best :) ya'll responded to my last post even though it didn't have a lot of meat to it, but you still read it and responded - aww :) there's more coming, but i got hit hard by a stupid cold that is taking over our campus :P watch for some posts on tuesday.

keep it real.
~jen~

the heart

please open your Bibles to the book of Luke, chapter 8, verses 4-15.

hahaha okay just kidding, i just wanted to see how it felt to sound "authoritative" like speakers do :) i'm done now, i've got it out of my system.

today we'll be talking about the heart.

HA - okay, for real, i'm done. on to just being real ---

i'm sure most anyone who reads this is familiar with the passage in Luke 8 where Luke relays the parable Jesus told about the sower. a farmer scatters his seed and the seeds fall on 4 different types of soil? if you're not trekkin' with me yet, go get your Bible and skim thru the passage again.

the seeds fall on 4 different types of soil/terrain and it represents 4 different types of hearts that hear the Gospel.

Heart #1 - the hard heart.
this is the 1st type of heart, mentioned in verse 12. they hear the Word but the devil comes and takes the Word away from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. the hard heart is typically easy to identify in people. a lot of times it's because they've become calloused to the Word thru certain situations (parents professing to be Christians yet are abusive and/or hypocrites; witnessing a church splitting; hurt by relationships).

Heart #2 - the shallow heart.
comes from verse 13. those who hear the Gospel and receive it excitedly at first, but quickly fade away when a time of testing comes because their faith is not rooted in the Word. clayton king (the speaker) brought up a very real point - "rededication" of hearts has become a cure-all pill for sin. some people rededicate their lives time after time because they don't actually repent of their sins. i agree with him on that, but he also made it clear (and i want to, to) that rededication isn't necessarily bad - it can be a very real, very life-changing thing ---> as long as it is coupled with repentance of sin and turning from the sin. it seems that the shallow heart would most oftened be found in people who have an emotionally-based faith. they get all pumped up for awhile, but then the excitement fades and they drift away. the truth is - it's human nature to let the excitement fade. if you're not eagerly seeking after God, if you're not making a whole-hearted attempt to be nearer to God, when that excitement fades, it's going to be hard to keep going. our faith needs to be authentic, it needs to be real, it needs to be deep.

Heart #3 - the crowded heart.
found in verse 14 (and the vice is squeezing harder on my head right now, so if it seems like i'm wrapping this up quick and not explaining myself, i'm sorry and i'll come back and edit this if i need to:) oh the not so-joys of getting sick). this is the heart that accepts the Word and goes along great for awhile, but then finds itself crowded with things. it essence, it's being too busy for Jesus. packing our day-to-day lives so full of activities (including the danger of doing too many ministries) that we don't make time to spend with our Savior each day, getting to know Him more. if you find yourself often late, rushing around, and/or constantly trying to please people, this might be you. the clincher - Jesus doesn't want to be 1 god out of many in your heart. He wants to be the ONLY God.

Heart #4 - the open heart.
the heart we should all be aiming to have. verse 15. it's the heart that hears the Word, retains it, and produces a crop (share the Word with others). it's the heart that desires to be immediately obedient to Christ. it's the heart that posseses true brokeness & humility before the Lord.

so now it's inventory time. figure out what kinda of heart you have. personally, i feel like certain parts of my heart go into different categories, if that's possible. my goal then, is to have my whole heart in that 4th category. it's not an easy thing to do because of my human nature, but it IS possible.

a multi-posting day

i think today should be a multi-posting day :) i want to recap/summarize the messages that clayton king gave over the past few days of our "spiritual emphasis" week here at school. but i know if i do 1 super-long post, attention spans quickly fade away :) so i'm going to do a few posts i think (that's the plan - who knows what'll really get done today) and you just come read a post at a time when you get the urge.

i woke up today with my throat a little sore and my head feeling like a big ball of lead. i had some coffee and that cleared it up a little but the thickness is starting to come back again. sad. i hate getting sick, and what's even worse is when you're at the very beginning stages of getting sick and you know that when you go to bed tonight, you're going to wake up tomorrow feeling even worse. maybe i'll just stay up all night. oh yeah, now THAT would fix it :P

i attempted to make coffee a couple nights ago here in the hotel with the coffee maker they give you. it didn't work. like, it did...eventually, once i turned the stupid thing off. it was the slowest coffee maker i've ever seen, so i finally decided to just pull the plug on it and go to starbucks. i come home later that night, and see the coffee decided to brew itself while it was turned off. it's still sitting in the pot. it's being punished.

i spent the night last night with tara down on the 2nd floor in her & kristen's room 'cause kristen was gone for the night. sadly, i left my cell phone in their room and both of the girls are at class. i've always admitted that without my phone, i feel lost. and today, that's just how i feel. lost. out of touch. unable to communicate with fellow offsprings.

i love my girls i get to live with this year! i loved my girls last year, too! man, God gives me so many blessings i don't deserve, and great girls for roommates is one of them. i CAN'T WAIT to move into our house and settle in and get to all live together...all on the same floor :) and we'll get to have a huge living room and a kitchen and a yard and a deck and a front porch - all instead of inviting each other to come hang out with us in our hotel rooms :)

living in the hotel isn't SO bad. i just get discouraged 'cause i have a lot of down time right now and if i had my computer set up, i could be editing wedding videos and getting those done. so it's like...i have stuff i need to do, i just can't right now.

i'm talking to 2 guys online from back home that i used to be really good friends with and both of them strayed for the Lord for a couple years but are now turning their lives around. it's so encouraging to talk to them and hear what God's doing in the lives! they're both guys i had been praying for, and to see God answer prayer so clearly - it's awesome :D

"filled with wonder. awe-struck wonder. at the mention of Your name. Jesus, Your name is power - breath, and living water. such a marvelous mystery!

Holy, Holy, Holy! is the Lord, God Almighty. Who was and is and is to come. with all creation i'll sing. praise to the King of Kings! You are my everything - and i will adore You!"

- from a song, but i don't know the name of it. it's so beautiful though.

keep it real.

jen

strangeness in the night

another random story.

ah-hem.

last night (this morning?) at 2am i woke up to an earpiercing "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!" my first thought was "man, my alarm's going off already? that was a short night of sleep" - then i quickly remembered i don't have an alarm that goes BEEP BEEP BEEP. then i realized it was the fire alarm going off. now, if you're anything like me, when you hear a fire alarm you think "great, another drill." so i got out of bed and looked out the eye hole in the door to see if people were actually evacuating. sadly, they were. so i grabbed my phone, purse, and room key and headed outside and found kristen and tara. we had to wait outside until the firemen got there and inspected everything. and what do ya know, nothing was wrong. i know fire alarms have saved people's lives, but they sure are annoying when they go off for no reason.

about 20 minutes later, we got to go back in and get back to our horizontal state.

and so concludes my excitement for the night.

living on the edge

i took a step over the edge today. i went against all my parents (well...okay, just my mom) taught me over and over growing up. i rebelled today. i gave in to temptation.


yes. i drank straight out of the orange juice carton.


(the crowd gasps)

revived

ahhh - i have that peace tonight that i've felt many times before but hadn't felt it for a little while. the peace of knowing that whatever circumstances i find myself in, God is good, He is in control, and He's simply just...amazing. the joy of just sitting and thinking about Jesus and how awesome He is and what He's done for me. the awe that overwhelms me when i think of all the ways God continues to provide for me and knowing that He DESIRES me. man, it's a good feeling.

and it's exactly what i needed. imagine that - God giving me exactly what i need, when i need it - eh? :)

man, i wish it wasn't 11:30pm already or i would stay up and blog away! i am so stoked to be able to be at campus church once again...it's like a small taste of what heaven'll be like each time i go. tonight not only was the message challenging but the praise and worship was so beautiful. tonight was one of those nights where you could see God moving thru SO MANY people's hearts and it just gives you goosebumps and a big goofy smile on your face. man, i wish each and every one of you could be a part of our campus church each week. one of the most beautiful times tonight was when we were singing the song "Jesus' Blood (never fails me)" and the band suddenly started playing a lot softer and just let our voices fill the vine center and it was SO INCREDIBLE to hear people literally yelling, proclaiming the beautiful truth that Jesus' Blood never fails us. that fact alone has so many awesome promises to it. man...gave me chills :)

one of the beautiful truths i was reminded of tonight was that no matter where you are at in your walk with the Lord, it is never too late to just stop and say, "God - i feel distant from You, i have for awhile. i have questions, i have doubts, i have confusion. but i know You are Truth. i know You are Love. and i'm committing RIGHT NOW to pursue a deeper relationship with You." it hit me once again tonight that we often "talk" about needing to find answers and get back on track, and it's like we sit around waiting for God to "do something" or magically give us the answers we think we need in order to move on to a deeper, more passionate relationship with Him. one of the beautiful things about God is that He's ready for you when you come to Him, humble, broken, and longing to know Him more. longing to start your relationship over with Him again, in a sense. the time is now, make the decision to change and just do it. stop sitting around hiding behind the guise of confusion, stop picking up every "10 steps to a deeper relationship with God" book you see at the bookstore, and simply spend time with God. talk to Him. listen. be still.

amazing night, only because of an amazing God.

more to come.

keep it real.
~jen~

from hotel to basement to hotel to...?

oh praise the Lord! i turned on my laptop today in my hotel room to write up a blog and save it to post when i go to the computer lab tonight, and TA-DA! i got a beautiful little message on my screen saying "wireless network detected"!!!!!!!!!!!! the girls told me there wasn't internet here, but there sure is! it's $3.99 for access and it's a one time fee for your entire stay - definitely worth it.

SO...as you probably gathered by now, i'm back in a hotel room. i can see the north campus of LU outside my window, which is cool i guess. and it's a really short drive to class :) we're staying here 'til friday and then moving. to where? well...we don't really know right now :) our house is "supposed" to be ready on Friday for us to move into. so hopefully that will be our destination. if it's not ready, we'll move into an apartment or house to rent for a month because even if we're just there a few days (or more, for that matter), the rent for a month will be cheaper than having 2 rooms at this hotel for even 1 week.

so since i just "happened" upon the internet here, maybe i should go walking around and maybe i'll "happen" upon a pool...with palm trees and a wave pool with free surfboards to use.

man, thank you guys so much for the encouraging comments :) whenever i'm sitting in my room and start feeling down and about to lose my mind, things you guys said pop into my mind and it helps me keep a better perspective on things.

this is going to be just an update post on what i've been up to since i haven't been able to keep up on the posting. i'm still working thru the Velvet Elvis book and have a lot of thoughts to put down. which'll be so much easier with this newly discovered internet access :D even though blogging is common these days, i still feel stupid for pulling up my blog in the computer lab and typing up a post with everyone around :)

saturday we got up at 6am to go to virginia beach for ECSC (east coast surfing championship). we checked the weather and thunderstorms were forecasted so we didn't know whether to go or not. we decided to go back to sleep and get up at 9 and see if the ECSC website had been updated to let us know if the contest was still on. it wasn't updated, but we all wanted to go so bad that we ended up leaving at 10am and got there around 2:45pm. just in time to catch the last couple hours of surfing!! it didn't rain at all while we were there, but it was overcast so we didn't get much (if any) color. that's okay, it was so much fun!

then sunday we went to roanoke after church to go shopping with a ton of girls from our hall last year. SO much fun!!!! it was so great to be back with so many of the girls. we had a special hall last year, and it feels like a family reunion when we're together :) last year was great 'cause there was like...no drama whatsoever on our hall - just the way i like it. ;)

we're getting some remanants of the hurricane (katrina) today. maybe just dark clouds, but it finally stormed for a tiny bit about an hour ago. then the sun broke thru and i thought it was going to clear out, but it's dark again. crazy weather.

becky - this len overton guy must be really bored at work - he keeps calling me and asking me when you'll return his belongings to him. (inside joke)

well i'm so excited to be on the internet, so i'm going to go read YOUR guys' blogs and surf the web a little. then it's off to hip-hop dance aerobics class at 8! rock on :)

deeper thoughts coming soon.

keep it real.
~jen~

homeless

so...in a few days i will be homeless. my residence will be at the extended stay hotel just down the road from school. really trying to learn how to be content in any and all circumstances. :)

our house will probably not be ready for another 2-3 weeks. some people think 4 weeks. that's a month. that's approximately 30 1/2 days. or something like that. one of the most frusterating things is that the past 2 days i've driven by our house multiple times and all times, no one was working on it. that's frusterating.

i was living with jessica & jodi, they live in an older couple's basement. the couple noticed i was staying the night so they asked the girls what was up and they told 'em why i was there. they were cool with that, but they said they might ask me to pay them something to stay. so i'm thinking, "oh yeah, for utilities - that's cool, understandable. maybe like, $25 or something". today they told jess they'd like $150. let's see...stay at the hotel for free (the landlord is paying to put the girls up) or pay $150? not a hard decision. i'm sad, 'cause it was nice to be in a home and atleast try to feel like it was my place and settle in. now i'll be living in a hotel with hardly any of my stuff (it's all in storage here) and feel like i'm on a trip...and taking classes while i'm on it. i'm going to miss living with jess & jodi :( we're going to VA beach this saturday for ECSC (east coast surfing championship - same one we went to last year) - that'll be awesome!

classes started today. this was the first day of school i've ever had where i went without any supplies. i kinda forgot to go get notebooks/folders/binders with all the craziness of my living situation. so i brought a piece of computer paper to write on :) and after my first class i had just enough time to run to target and grab a notebook and folders.

so, God's really showing me how to be content with every situation right now. tonight at campus church, rob jackson talked about how we get so uncontent (discontent?) with our lives and things in our lives, but look at what Paul went thru and he was content. take that, jen.

well i'm at boonie's place on campus (our same apartment from last year! oh, fun memories!) drinking coffee and catching up on things on the internet (we don't have internet at the girl's house). i'm hoping at the hotel i have internet access so i can keep in touch with people more (although i DO have a cell phone...).

alright, i'm out.

keep it real.
~jen~

chic-fil-a ain't that grand

me and my parents picked up chic-fil-a today since we don't have it back in michigan. so here i sit, about 45 minutes later, feeling the chicken re-organizing itself and threatening to cause a revolt inside my stomach. boo on chic-fil-a.

i'm listening to my new mp3 player that i got for a stinkin' good deal off www.woot.com - very cool.

the chicken is firing it's first round of attack. i must go fight.

keep it real.
~jen~

transitioning

sorry for the lack of updates this week. lots of stuff going on in the mind/heart, but not having time to post! i'm in a hotel room right now, in the process of moving back to school. the house we are moving into isn't finished yet (it's being built) so things are kinda crazy right now and will be for the next couple weeks 'til the house is done and we can get settled in.

as i was driving through west virginia yesterday by myself, i was listening to Shane & Shane and singing along every now and then. but then i sensed God speaking to me, and really laying this on my heart - how many times do i listen to all these worship/praise songs and sing along out of habit and not really concentrating on what i'm singing? and i felt like God was saying, "listen, these songs are great and I'm honored when you sing them to Me from your heart, but can you just turn off the music for a little while and talk to Me?" at first i tried to justify keeping the music on, but the voice inside my head just kept saying "turn it off, just turn it off". so i turned it off and spent quite a bit of time riding thru those beautiful mountains talking & praying to God and it totally refreshed me, spiritually and emotionally. one (out of many) thing i love about God is that you can just talk to Him - you don't need some drawn out, elloquent prayer. just converse with Him. man, He blows my mind :)

sometimes i get stuck in the mindset of just "following the rules" of the Christian faith and forget that my God is a personal God who wants me to have a personal relationship with Him. He's the best friend that will never hurt you in any way, not in the smallest way, and not even once. and He DESIRES for you to know Him, He DESIRES for you to just spend time with Him, like you would with your best friends here on earth.

well my dad has "The Terminal" on and i'm wiped, so i'm going to wrap this up. i'm stoked to see and experience God move thru lives here at Liberty this year, and i'm just as stoked to hear about how God is moving thru my friend's lives back home.

Jesus is what? Jesus is awesome!

keep it real.
~jen~

alone on the beach

some people honestly feel sorry for you when you tell them you went to the beach by yourself. i don't know why, because obviously you aren't being forced to go - it's your choice to get in your car and drive there :) so as a disclaimer, don't feel even a hint of sorryness for me for the following story, because i'm just telling you what i did tonight and i'm not looking for pity because there's absolutely no need! now on to my post...

man, tonight at church just really...well, it made things even worse for me in my struggle with church/beliefs/etc.. everything i've been reading in this velvet elvis book was spoke against tonight. which would have been great if i hadn't been agreeing with what rob bell says in his book. that's the problem. i'm reading his book and thinking "wow, you know...i think he has some good stuff here" and then go to church tonight and hear that all that stuff is dangerous, horrible stuff. real smooth, jen. the confusing part is, i still agree with what rob bell says right now. the hard part is knowing that the majority (if not everyone) in my church family disagrees with it severely. so who's right?

from what was said at church, however, it sounds like the accusations were based off of quotes pulled out of context from bell's book. that's something i've realized a lot as i'm reading this book - rob bell is probably one of the most misquoted men alive. seriously. you have to know his way of speaking/communicating. sometimes he says things to the extreme in a sarcastic manner. sometimes he has a point he's trying to make and if you just take 1 paragraph out of his chapter explaining his meaning, yeah, he sounds horrible. but when you read what he's really saying behind that one paragraph, everything changes. one of those quotes is where rob bell says he can't see how people can believe in "Scripture alone". :::anti-bell-ers gasp::: yeah, sounds bad, huh? well if you read the rest of what he's saying in the chapter, he explains that the reason you can't have just "Scripture alone" is because along with Scripture, you have to have people interpreting what everything says. think about it. you don't read the new testament and take everything word for word, do you? if you say you do, and you're a woman, i would assume you keep your head covered when you're worshipping then, right? well you must, because in 1 Corinthians 11 it says all women should have their heads covered in worship. HOWEVER - people have interpreted that to mean it applied to that certain group of people that Paul was writing to, and women these days don't need to do it. it's an interpretation. yes, God's Word is sufficient - but we interpret and take meanings out of it and do not take everything literal, word for word. that is what bell is meaning by saying you can't have just "Scripture alone" as people say. because automatically, people add their own views/opinions/interpretations that they get from Scripture to base their faith off of.

am i making sense? does it make sense? is it wrong?

so it seems to me that the problem comes down to 1 of 2 things: either -
1, people against what bell teaches have not taken the time to read what he has said and to read the text surrounding his quotes, and if they did, they would affirm what he's saying,
or
2, these people really have honestly studied what bell says and he really is off and dangerous and yet...i'm falling for it.

if the answers 1, then i've got a whole lot of people to convince to read the rest of what bell's saying. if the answers 2, then i'm heading down a dangerous road that i don't want to be on but don't really see the dangerousness of.

and so comes the confusion. the boggled mindedness.

and so we come to the beach part. i went to grand haven tonight and go to the beach JUST in time to see the sun slip behind the clouds. what a beautiful sight! it's such an awesome sight that God creates uniquely each night. so i took my beach towel and Bible sat on the beach for a little bit reading and contemplating. i didn't come to any conclusion, but it was so great just to be at one of my favorite places (the beach), alone with God. i stayed out at grand haven for about 45 minutes, then headed back home. i love driving in my car by myself. 'cause i can sing and worship God and it's just me and Him in that car. there's really no conclusion to my night, so i'll just leave you with one of the songs that really reminded me of ultimately, what life is about:

"it's all about You, Jesus. and all this is for You. for Your glory and Your fame. it's not about me. as if You should do things my way. You alone are God, and i surrender to Your way."

so much more i could write, but since i don't even know what's right or wrong tonight, i'm just going to stop rambling right about..............

now.

keep it real.
~jen~

bogus comments

okay, so i can't figure out how to delete comments, i thought i had seen a way before. anyway, some stupid thing went thru and added bogus comments to a lot of my posts, so if it's posted by an "annonoymous" person, it's retarded and just ignore it.

anyone know how to delete comments?

back to reading velvet elvis.

keep it real.
~jen~

freedom of expression

i was laying in bed this morning listening to the radio while i was trying to motivate myself to get up and get ready for work. i can't remember what the dj's were talking about...oh yeah, one of them said his daughter was standing in front of her mirror and singing priase songs at the top of her lungs and couldn't care less who saw/heard, and the dj's talked about how much that changes when you get older and start to care what others think, and then one of the dj's says, "wouldn't it be great if you could go to church and be able to have freedom of expression? to be able to sing at the top of your lungs in joyful praise and have the freedom to express yourself and not worry about what others think?" the other dj pauses and responds solemnly, "...yeah..." they both had that tone that kinda seemed to say, "yeah it would be awesome if it was like that...we wish it could be...why can't it? it'll never be possible...". almost like hopelessness in people ever being able to freely express their praise to God in any given church worship service. realizing they didn't really have anything else to add to the topic, they quickly moved into another song.

man, that sure hit the nail on the head for a big frusteration i've been feeling :) "freedom of expression" - i like that.

back to work.

keep it real.
~jen~

quick update

i did it. last night, i went out and bought the velvet elvis book. i justified it by using a 25% off coupon :) so i didn't pay full price. hey, it saved me almost 5 dollars! that's a couple lunches with large cokes.

the book's easy to read 'cause rob bell is such a good speaker/communicator. i'm on the 2nd chapter and i'll just say it's a very interesting read so far. i'll post more later...when i'm not on work's time :)

leann and valerie - thanks for the responses! i'll respond tonight after work (responding to a response from your blog?...that just sounds funny - haha)

keep it real.
~jen~

quoting out of context?

i'm reading a book (okay, so i'm "reading" a few books...but this one i'm really reading and i'm going to finish it :) ) by John MacArthur called Fool's Gold. it's kinda about the things that are catching on in the modern church and how to spot error among Truth. that's a bad summary of it though, go google it and read the description :)

ANYWAY, there IS a point to this post. one of the chapters examines the "Purpose Driven Life" book. a very interesting argument came up that i had never heard before, but now i'm really curious about it. i guess rick warren quotes a lot of 1-liners from the Bible and uses them to go along with what he's saying? i've never read the book, i'm just going by the examples this Fools Gold book gives. and macarthur says that that is quoting the Bible inaccurately just to support warren's views. at first, i'm like "well yeah, it is wrong to just take a phrase out of Scripture and use that to argue your point". but then macarthur says that some people argue that the apostles, and even Christ, pulled 1-liners out of the Old Testament to make some of their points...which is true. i wouldn't say "pulled" though, i would say..."quoted". now, obviously they had a right to do that because the New Testament is the Word of God and It is inspired so it's not like they were wrong to do that. but then the question arises - why do people these days who quote a phrase from the OT get hammered by some people for taking things out of context? is it wrong?

the only reason i can think of right now that it'd be wrong is because we aren't the apostles and our sermons/messages/whatevers aren't directly given by the Holy Spirit. well, they can be, but like...you know what i mean? :) we don't have the same authority that the apostles had in their writing. is that a valid point? and is that the only point that backs up stating that it's wrong to quote things from the OT?

one passage that some people (mainly baptists...and i don't know why that is, maybe it just seems like it 'cause i usually only talk about things like this with my friends and people i'm around...who are mainly all baptists) really give people a hard time on is when someone quotes Jeremiah 29:11 which says:

"11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

www.biblegateway.com

there is so much truth to that passage and even though God is saying it to...shoot...the Israelites? i could be wrong, but He's saying it to a specific people group. :) but is it not true that God has a plan for each of our lives? is it not true that God only has our best in mind? to say that we can't claim that passage as Truth for our lives is...man, i don't know, it just doesn't seem correct to say that.

alright, my break time ended a little bit ago, i gotta get back to work. thoughts, opinions, views, definitely welcome. i also accept money donations into my paypal account.

:D (BIG smile)

keep it real.

~jen~

question for the day

a question for you guys - post your opinion (ooh how fun! look, it's interactive!)

what do you think is more important - a church that has a huge outreach and produces many weak (new) Christians and a few strong Christians or a church that has little outreach and produces few new Christians but produces a large amount of strong Christians?

in other words, i guess it can be summarized by saying this - is it better to focus on getting people saved or better to concentrate on giving saved people head knowledge?

this question came up in a conversation i had last night, just curious to see what people's thoughts are.

keep it real.
~jen~

in search of a free Velvet Elvis

now that's an odd title, eh?

i want to read Rob Bell's new book Velvet Elvis so bad. like, incredibly bad. i just don't want to spend money on it 'cause i've heard a ton of criticism about it. so i feel like i'm contributing to his cause if i buy it, and as much as i've tried to defend Bell and Mars Hill, the danger signs just keep piling up against them. therefore, not really sure what this book is going to have in it, i don't want to support it with my money if it does indeed contain tons of danger signs in it.

my sister left me a voicemail this week saying her mother-in-law sent them down a copy of it and she absolutely LOVES the book. that makes me want to just give in and pay for the book, so i can read it for myself. i'll probably just end up forking over the money for it.

i knew when this book hit the stores it would either cause a huge debate surrounding it or it would be an amazing book that would catch a lot of attention and then be considered another "purpose driven life" or "prayer of jabez" - where if a book is super popular among Believers, it MUST be bad :) i've never read either of those books though, so i can't really give my opinion on them.

sorry if this post is kinda like...repeating itself and jumbled together. it was a short night last night and my dog started my day on a bad side by peeing right next to my bed...while i was still in bed. how pathetic is it when your dog can put you in a bad mood? haha :) trying to wake up with coffee...

oh yeah, 1 more thing. what was really cool was i found out gabe is reading the same book i'm reading about the emergent church, and it's a really hard book to read 'cause the dude's like - super smart and writes really like...smartly. :) so hopefully gabe can tear though it a little better than me and summarize the parts i don't understand (...which will probably be atleast half the book). AND i found out last night that ben vz has studied a lot on the emerging church and stuff, so now i have 2 people i can ask questions to! that's cool 'cause before, hardly anyone had heard of the emerging church movement and i was trying to study it on my own and i'm not really smart so i wasn't getting that far in my "studying" of it. but it's a movement that i know is going to all of a sudden explode and i want to know what i believe about it so i don't get caught up in it. and i'm afraid i already am a little, i'll admit.

keep it real.
~jen~

a profound statement.

ribs take forever to heal.

profound, eh?

i fell hard on my bike/ground when i was mountain biking a couple weeks ago. i'm never hurting my ribs again, they're annoying.

now i'm off to bed, though going to bed these last couple weeks is more dreaded then desired because it takes awhile to find a comfortable position to sleep in without putting too much pressure of my ribs. but you know what? sleep is still good. and i'm looking forward to the sleep part.

keep it real.
~jen~

the love of God

i've been reminded over the past couple days of just how awesome God's love is for us. i was talking to a friend of mine yesterday, catching up on life, and found out he had gone thru some incredibly rough times over the past year while i was at school. he admits it was his own fault, because of choices he made. he turned his back on God and tried to have nothing to do with Him. he was miserable, and his life fell apart...literally. he eventually realized he couldn't live without his Savior he'd tried to ignore and decided there was no real joy that compared to the joy of knowing Christ. he's getting back on track again, and even though he has a ton of consequences he's dealing with right now from his past, he knows it's the right thing to do.

how deep...how wide...the Father's love for us! like...i never really grasped it in this sense until now - but God loves us SO MUCH that He's willing to let us go, willing to let us have freedom of choice and choose to follow Him or not. He's willing to let us turn our back on Him and willing to sit back and let us make our own decisions. and He is patient and waiting to receive us back into His comforting arms the second we realize we do need Him. that's how much He loves us, He's willing to let us go thru the darkest moments if that's what it takes to wake us up. to paint even a small picture of what i'm trying to say --- let's say you decide you don't need your parents after all. you don't need their love, their support, their protection, their... friendship, even. you move out and rarely, if ever, give them a call to let them know how you are, what you're up to. can you imagine the pain and heartache your parents would feel? yet they let you go and live your life, because you technically are an adult and can make decisions on your own. they love you so much, but they know that if they don't let you fall on your face from your decisions, you'll never learn and you'll never realize their love for you.

dude...God's love is amazing.

Galations 4:4-7 --- "1How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears,[a]we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 3Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure." (www.biblegateway.com)

i love that passage. there is so much i could talk on from just that passage, but i need to get to bed.

let God captivate you - your heart, your mind.

keep it real.
~jen~

...you can see the look in her eye - she's up to something...she's got a plan... (this was right before she...left her "treasure" in the pool)

 

 

it's tuesday

so andy, sadie, and lucy are home for a little while to visit and are staying with us! they were evacuating the Keys for the hurricane (dennis) and decided it was a good time to just fly home for a little bit for a visit. we told them there was no room at the house, but we'd find a nice hotel for them. haha just kidding :) it's been so much fun having them home!!

i'll put up some lucy pictures tonight. she's hilarious :) i think we had to play "ring" (ring around the rosies) last night atleast a dozen or more times, which always ended in us falling on the ground and lucy laughing her cute high-pitch squeal :) i think one of the funniest parts of the nights was when lucy was swimming in her blow-up pool and my mom got her camera out. so lucy stands up and starts saying "cheese!!" and posing and we're all laughing and suddenly my sister goes "OH! OH!" and starts pointing in the pool. yes, that's right. during one of her poses, lucy decided it was perfect timing to go potty - #2. she did a pretty good job distracting us while she did her business, though. so then she got a bath and andy got the super-daddy job of cleaning out the pool and fishing for...treasures.

okay break's over, time to get back to work.

keep it real.
~jen~

4 days 'til the weekend

and the weekly countdown continues to the weekend. :)

we didn't go biking last night, it was a little too hot for us (90 degrees + humidity when i got out of work). maybe if we'd been biking all summer we would've gone, but we haven't gone since last july so we're a little (okay, a lot) out of shape. i don't think we ever went again last summer after marissa and i both ate it on the robinette's trail. that trail's insane, they don't keep the trail cut back so you're constantly dodging branches and washouts. marissa's wipeout was definitely the best - a full flip over the handle bars :) marissa you rock!!

so instead i went fishing with marissa, her dad, and bro. that was fun!! it was the first time i've ever bought a fishing license...that was weird. i always have fished without one, mainly because i never knew you had to have one until i went along fishing with friends. my dad raised me to break the law i guess...thanks dad! :D the whole license thing is kinda stupid if you ask me. it's like, here - let me pay money so i can catch fish and throw them back in the water because they're not big enough to eat...but oh well, i was legal last night and i felt guiltless!

how often i forget (sorry, changing topics here) how much i don't deserve things. i get frusterated with things or people because i feel like i've been wronged or they're not doing things like i want them to. it makes a world of difference when i remember i need to die to myself and live for Christ and God's glory. i need to die to my selfish desires and stop pouring myself into...myself and start pouring myself into others. it's how much i can honor God and help/love others, not how much i can get from other people - and get from God.

well the break time bell just rang so it's back to work. it looks like we're going to have kinda a chaotic day here today, BUT -

this is the day the Lord has made! so i will rejoice and be glad in it! :D

keep it real.
~jen~

a couple random things

this is why i refuse to camp in the U.P. (or in Alaska, for that matter):
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/06/27/bear.attack.ap/index.html

we're finally going mountain biking tonight!! it's about time.

i've decided i'm going to take up dirt biking in place of surfing. i will still continue to love the art of surfing and to watch it and maybe some day try it, but i realized i'd rather dirt bike where i know i can still get hurt but it'll be my own fault. with surfing, you can't control when a shark or other mean creature with viscious teeth is going to attack you, drag you under, and carry you to the depths of the seas. :)

the end.

keep it real.
~jen~

wanted: to be satisfied.

a lot on my mind about church. but if i write about it i'll probably just find myself offending people and sounding like one of those pathetic bloggers that just use their blog to complain and tell about their troubles and cut down on people. i don't want to do any of that, so i'll watch my fingers (ah-ha get it? 'cause i'm typing...not speaking...so i can't watch my mouth...okay i'll stop...).

i want to be content in my church. yet every service i go to, i feel an unsettling feeling inside of me. why am i the only one who does? it must be my problem. i just want to be content.

i'm going to bed early. hopefully.

keep it real.
~jen~

driving stories

so i have quite a bit i'd like to put on here but my break time's only 15 minutes, so maybe i'll have enough self-control to make myself sit down and write a longer post tonight before the piston's game.

some weird yet interesting driving stories. just 2 actually.

1 - for some reason, a few days ago i was thinking about the time a few of us girls went down to st. petersburg, fl for spring break and marissa was driving. we were stopped at a red light, and all of a sudden marissa takes off across the intersection...while the light was still red. the rest of us started shouting, "marissa! what are you doing?!?!" and horns started honking at us, but marissa kept going, saying, "oh...was it still red?!?!" - thankfully, there was no cross traffic coming at that moment or we probably would have had our spring break cut short rather abruptly. random memory.

1 - today i was at the stop light where you turn onto the road my office is on, and right next to me was the SAME EXACT truck i had been at the same exact spot with i think last Friday. crazy. and i know it was the same exact truck because it had window sticker things on the back that i had read the 1st time i was stopped next to him. kinda crazy. it's like the big truck i used to see on the expressway on my way to work every so often that had the heiroglyphic fox on the back. that was kinda intimidating.

anyway, back to work.

keep it real.
~jen~

enter the acoustic room

last night i went to Middleton's Music to get some more picks (guitar picks). it's probably been atleast a couple years since i've been in there, but i like that place 'cause it's smaller than Guitar Center and people leave you alone :) Guitar Center is fun to go to once in awhile though, just for kicks and giggles (and to see the Taylor guitars, since Middleton's doesn't carry any...sad).

so i walk in and they've remodeled, and i find a sign that says "acoustic guitars in here" next to a doorway. i know i just went to get picks but i couldn't help myself - i entered "the acoustic room". ahhhhh. anyone who loves anything about acoustic guitars can relate to the feeling i had when i walked in there. utter happiness, glee, giddyness. here i was, the only one in the room, with tons of acoustic guitars hanging on the walls and sitting on stands, all facing me - and all tuned. no, there weren't any Taylors among the masses, but that's okay (especially since i knew there were 2 beautiful Taylors waiting for me to play at the Elyea's :) although jeff's has a broken string...sad).

man i love guitars. i walked around the entire room and looked at all the guitars, picking up and playing a couple of 'em. i saw a lot of Washburns, which will always be a favorite of mine because that was the first guitar i ever played (josh's 1st one, the green one...that got busted by the youth group :( ). that's the kinda of guitar i wanted when i went to buy my 1st real guitar (my very first guitar was a classical guitar...and it wasn't a very good guitar. but that's okay, i have a better one now). but instead i got a Samick, which is actually made by the makers of Washburns.

eventually i had to leave the acoustic room. i picked out some new picks, handed over my dollar for 'em, and headed to the Elyea's to try them out on one of the Taylors.

last night i actually drempt about the acoustic room. except all the guitars were gone and there was just a couch. what a scary dream!!!

and so ends my story. as well as my break time here at work.

keep it real.
~jen~

the great outdoors

man, what a great memorial day weekend!! check out nancy's great re-cap of it on her site at www.justsomegirl.net - the entry from May 31, 2005. yes, i'm lazy. but it's mainly 'cause i'm tired and want to go to bed early...so i can get up and go to work all over again :P fun fun :) no, it's not that bad actually, work is fun, i just wish i could be at the beach on beautiful sunny days like today.

anyway, i've been holding off from posting since the weekend because 1, i'm hardly ever home and when i am, i can't stand sitting at my computer for very long (since it's what i do all day at work). and 2, i need to cool down still from a conversation i had this weekend that i still get worked up about and furious about when i think about it. i want to talk about what it was that infuriated (is that a word? it sounds good) me, but i don't want to do it in the wrong way or say things i'll have to edit later. so i better wait until i've handled it some more.

alright, to bed i go. kinda early!!

keep it real.
~jen~

under the overpass

no, it's not some cool new saying i made up. that would be neat though.

i just finished this awesome book called Under the Overpass and it's changed my view completely about what it means to show Christ's love to others, and how my view toward the homeless/poverty-stricken population needs to change. i'll write more later, break time just ended.

in the meantime, check out www.undertheoverpass.com until i get back.

keep it real.
~jen~

b to the izzy

yeah, sorry for lack of updates to anyone who checks this. i got home here in michigan friday night and have been going non-stop pretty much ever since (except monday...ahhh i slept in that day! good times). i've been working 8 1/2 hour days at work...but i'm not complaining, it's fun to see the company doing so well now. plus friends from church are starting to get hired there so that makes it even more funner (hehe i just like that word).

josh gave me my 1st guitar "lesson" last night. it was pretty frusterating on both of our ends, but we'll get there eventually. most of the time consisted of the following circle:
me: "okay josh, teach me how to strum, i know how to play the basic chords"
josh: "...i can't teach you how to strum, i don't know how i do it, it just comes naturally"
me: "well still, just teach me how"
josh: "i can't..."
:::silence:::
josh: "here, start playing this song how you normally would"
me: "no, see i don't even know how i would strum it because i just don't even know how"
josh: "yes you do, just start"
:::silence::: (both of us staring at the songbook)
josh: "go!"
:::silence:::
me: "josh i can't! i'm strum deficient! i don't know where to even start!"

...a little bit later...

josh: "i can't teach you how to strum, i can teach you how to play chords and how to pick, but i can't teach you how to strum"
me: "fine, teach me how to pick then"
josh: "...well first you need to know how to strum..."

...

it can only get better from here :)

one day i WILL be able to play with the best of them - look out shane barnard.

okay i'm going to bed. work tomorrow and then straight to our softball game which we are almost guaranteed to lose, since we've never won a game. :) but we sure have fun losing!

keep it real.
~jen~

lynchburg sure likes to be accurate. hold on guys, we're only .3 degrees away from 74. quick, everybody fire up your blowdryers, we can make it!!  

bittersweet saturday

hey that title would make for a cool name for a song, eh? eh!!!! (can you answer a question with an "eh!"? ... shoot, i'm not sure, i thought i had learned all the in's and out's of using the canadian fun phrase by now).

so yes, today was a bittersweet saturday. let's start out with the sweet part, 'cause that's always funner. today was my first saturday in lynchburg in over...2 months i think, that i didn't have to work all day!! AMEN! it was absolutely amazing and everything i could have dreamed of and less! HA, fooled ya :) just seeing if you guys are really reading this or just skimming. anyway, i had my last shift at j crew last night, and i am job-less now until about...may 17th. but then i'll be working for my dad and with fun people so that's cool. plus it sure makes for a fun, flexible schedule! (i'm spoiled, dad, aren't i? okay i'll admit it...you, mom, & sadie were right all along)

so this morning started out superbly (ah - great word) with a delicious pancake breakfast at tara's house with some of my most favorite people in lynchburg! it was the spring break crew, minus jamie and plus sarah, who was being the good one of the group over spring break by going on a missions trip. hehehe :) good times, as always, this morning!

OH! and then we drove by the site for our new house for next year! they finally dug a hole for the foundation. that's a good place to begin i suppose. there's not much else there yet, but there is a port-a-john, so if all else fails, we'll have that as a multi purpose room. SO stoked about next year!

then later this afternoon, me and benton (jessica, for those of you less familiar with the beautiful cali-sister blonde i spend much time with) went to roanoke to get a hollister fix in. mmmm! i got a track jacket, that's it. but that's more than enough to satisfy me. and i also stocked up on some much needed CD's i've been holding out for. i got Vertical Momentum-Trading My Sorrows (a various artist worship CD with this amazing song called Search Me, Know Me), Jack Johnson-Brushfire Fairytales (ROCK ON!), and Lauryn Hill-The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill (_____-fill in the blank, i don't know what to say right now, but it's a good CD). um...i think that's all i got. yeah, it is. and another plus about going to the r-to-the-oanoke is that my cell phone goes back to digital service so i can send and receive pictures & update my phone's "roaming capabilities" as the verizon lady always says when i call her. it's great, you always feel like you have a new phone when you do that. i do, anyway. oh the joys of small things in life.

then the bitter part of my bittersweet saturday. i got back to campus and went to make coffee (yeah, imagine that) and realized jen's (the other one, not me) coffee maker was gone. so i checked her room and all her stuff was gone, too. for those of you that don't know the background, jen sorta disappeared on us right before spring break. she came back a couple days after spring break just long enough to pack a suitcase and then she was off again to "go home just for Easter". we didn't see her again for a couple weeks, but then she popped in just a couple times. i still haven't seen her since that one day right after spring break. no one's seen or heard from her now for...i don't even know, atleast 3 weeks i guess. anyway, because of some other things that went on, i was (and still am) really worried about her not only for her well-being, but also for her spiritually. there's just some stuff that went on that led me to believe there was a lot more going on inside of her than just "rebellion" or whatever you'd call running away. i've been praying so much for her, praying God would bring her back to Him soon and also bring her back to us. yeah, it's been weird not having her around, but i felt like as long as her stuff was here, we'd see her again. but now that it's all gone...it's just hit me all over again that this is real and i may never see her again, this girl that i had gotten to know and love thru living with her thru the majority of this school year. even if i never saw her again, i would settle for just knowing she was following God with her life and was His child. urgh - it's SO FRUSTERATING and discouraging and...empty feeling with not knowing what's going on and not seeing her come back. it's really unsettling.

i know God is just and He is good, yet it i still struggle with understanding why He would let His child to continue down the wrong road and allow the powers of satan to overtake His child's life...it must have to do with that whole "free will" thing...but i sure wish sometimes that we didn't have a free will when it came to these things. it's like...i'm praying so much for her and don't see why God would withold answering my prayers (and other people's, because i know others are praying for her too) for His child to come back to Him. but then when i start questioning God like that, i feel guilty and know i have no right to question His ways. so then i just feel bad like i'm going against God by questioning Him. i've concluded it's a lose-lose situation.

but then i know that's where faith comes in. because i KNOW God is just, He is good, He is merciful, and He is love. sometimes all we'll be able to do is come to Him with our burdens and trust that He's in control, no matter the outcome.

and so concludes my rants and raves about my bittersweet saturday. :)

sike - just kidding, i remembered something else. tonight benton got a call from her friend she was going to have an apartment with next year. her friend decided she wants to live on campus next year, so now benton has no idea what she will do. :( so that was a big bummer for her, and a bummer for me 'cause i feel bad for her. :( we'll see what we can do.

okay, i'm concluding now, incase any of you are still with me here.

keep it real.
~jen~

shoot...shouldn't have drank that coffee

HA!

here i sit, wanting to go to sleep but unable to because of 1 simple culprit - brazillian sunrise coffee. it's a dark roast, which means it's a strong brew. i thought i'd drink that tonight at 10pm because i thought i would be up late studying for a humanities test tomorrow and doing a math quiz i thought was due tomorrow. well, the studying didn't take long and i found out the math isn't due 'til Friday afternoon...so now i'm being kept up for now reason :)

i got to go home last weekend for jared & kristen's wedding!! awwww, great time! they're so awesome, i love 'em! and seeing my family makes it all most excellent. i sure do love them!

sunday night was really encouraging - i went with becky & tiff to applebee's after church because they've been going every Sunday night to witness to this waitor there. it was so cool to see the friendship they've built with him just by showing up there once a week. since tiff's leaving for colorado for the summer next week, hopefully i can get to fill in for her while she's gone :) it was just so awesome to see the girls getting out there and sharing the love of Christ with strangers they meet.

i left my notebook of sermon notes in the pew at church. sad. i hope someone finds it and knows it's mine! there's a lot of good stuff in that thing.

OH! i read Lamentations this past week out of pure curiosity. wow, i think it's my favorite book of the OT (at the moment, anyway - hehe). i don't even understand half of it i'm sure, but i still got some amazing things out of it. the Lord has destroyed Jerusalem and the people are in horrible shape and all. and i'm not totally sure why He did it, so if someone has the background on it, please fill me in! i think it was because they had fallen into so much sin? don't quote me on that though. anyway, the first half of the book is Jeremiah lamenting about what's happened. but then all of a sudden, he switches tones and totally praises the Lord for who He is, His justness, His righteousness. like...that just SO amazes me. here he was, along with the rest of the people, suffering horrible things at the hand of God's wrath, and yet he still acknowledge's God's goodness and total justness. amazing. it sure convicted me in that so many times when i "suffer" things, i tend to think "oh, woe is me...". but here jeremiah was, knowing that the events happening were because of his and the people's sin (i think?), and he's not bitter about it. and then i was reading some of the Psalm's that are cross referenced with the end of Lamentations, and it was so cool to read the Psalm and now understand what David was dealing with when he wrote it. (or did Jeremiah write the Psalms that coorespond to Lamentations?)

hehehe so obviously i don't have a good grasp of what all is going on in the book, but i still love it!! and i want to learn more! can anyone fill me in on if Jerusalem ever gets put back together?

alright, i suppose i'll just get in bed and read 'til i fall asleep.

keep it real.
~jen~

OH PS - funny story. okay, the setup for this story is i just walked into the room tonight and kristen was in bed but i knew she wasn't asleep yet.
so i asked "hey kristen, can i listen to luke smith's cd real quick? i'm borrowing it from boonie"
kristen: "of course, you know you can listen to whatever you want as loud as you want. it doesn't bother me"
me: "aw, cool thanks!!"
:::a few minutes pass. during which time i have some silent expelliations of gaseous material:::
kristen: "okay, i can take music playing, but i can't take the smells!!!!!"

hehehe oh the joy of being an anosmic.

the small things that bring great joy

i have finally found it! great tasting water in Lynchburg!

ONLY available at Sheetz

this water is definitely blog-worthy.

um...

our cafeteria considers this scalloped potatoes...

i'd rather they just call it what it is - a chunk of potato.

mom...dad...look at what they're feeding me here. please send food.

cowbells - continued

i just realized i never explained why i labeled the last post "cowbells". well here's the explaination for all you curious minds out there. i love this song by Jack Johnson called "Flake" from his Brushfire Fairytales CD because it has cowbells in it that come in in the middle of the song and keep coming in 'til the end of it! it's awesome!! and it reminds me of the cowbell skit with will farrell. scrumptillacit.

i just asked kristen "aw, isn't this song beautiful"? (it's the Mesmerized song by Meredith Andrews) and she said "yes, but not as beautiful was your mom." awwwww! that was sweet. kristen, that was nice. punk.

today is Sunday, let us all rejoice.

i went to campus church this morning. i'm so hooked on this series that johnnie moore's doing. it's called "Holiness Means Wholeness". today he spoke on Galations 6:6-10. i'd like to entitle it "You Sow What You Reap" because that's what he kept saying. :) anyway, the following summary comes out of what he said, so i can't claim all of the following ideas as my own. i'm not that smart.

how many times in life do we start a ministry and then think "what good is this doing for anyone, anyway? this ministry isn't having an effect on anybody". or how many times do you go to do something that you know is wrong but you reason "this one time isn't going to have any consequence, i'm just going to do it this once." these are lies that mock our great God who is all-powerful.

believing our ministry is ineffective and useless proves how near-sighted we as Christians can be sometimes. we only see the "here and now" outcome, but we fail to look at the bigger picture. when we take the time to invest in people's lives, we get discouraged if they don't respond right away the way we want them to. we lack faith in believing God will use us for His glory and He will accomplish much through each of us. Galations 6:9-10 says, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."

and then back to "how many times do you go to do something that you know is wrong but you reason 'this one time isn't going to have any consequence, i'm just going to do it this once.'" johnnie specifically brought up alcohol and porn right away but then he showed us how relationships can be ruined by 1 "tiny, little" choice to sin. with alcohol and porn, it was pretty obvious - the drunk at the bar probably didn't drink his 1st sip of alochol thinking, "this is it - with this one drink, i'm going to become a drunk for the rest of my life." of course not. but he took that first sip, and continued to allow the "poison" into his veins more and more until he couldn't get enough. those 2 areas are talked about a lot in the Christian-circle. but then he talked about a less-obvious area. all it takes is one or two times of losing our temper with somebody, or doing something unjust to somebody, and then we continue to do it more and more until we've hurt so many people so many times that people start distancing themselves from us. and when we come to a point where we need a friend to be there for us, no one is around to help. wow...talk about being nearsighted. and how is it mocking God? because it's like we're saying, "Look God, i know You don't like what i'm about to do and You've warned us against doing it in Your Word, but i really don't care right now - i'm going to do it anyway, just this once." it's like we're mocking God's authority, His commands, His desire for us to be pure.

i realized how often in life i am nearsighted with decisions i make. i don't think of the "down-the-road" consequences of decisions i make, even things i think are tiny and insignificant.

Galations 6:7-8, "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life."

one point of application is this: this week at LU is "Unplugged Week". this group on campus is urging everyone to go unplugged from a part of media. you can take that extra time to spend in God's Word, preparing your "soil" to be in good condition to reap a harvest this summer while we're at home or wherever you're going.

alright, stepping down off the soapbox now. i just wanted to recap what i learned at church today so that, if for no other reason, i can read this later down the road and be reminded to stop being nearsighted. :)

keep it real.
~jen~

cowbells

helloooooooo!

i think of things each day that i'm like "oooh, i want to write a post about that" and by the time i get back to my room, it's all i can do to keep my eyes open long enough to get emails. boo. it doesn't help that i'm fighting a stupid cold right now, which makes me even more tired.

man, this last month of school is so busy. work is making everyone work extended and overtime hours, and that means i'm working 32 hours a week (Tuesday-Saturday). sad. it's a nicer paycheck, but it's not worth the sacrifice of social time and homework time (which i really probably wouldn't do much of anyway, but that's not the point...). i hardly ever get to hang out with friends now, which is sad because the year is drawing to a close and some people won't be coming back (big j adams - LU's still accepting super seniors for next year, c'mon).

the worst part is that my quiet time with my Savior has been lacking the past week or so because i'm not making the time to get alone with Him. i love that time alone with Him and i do it out of pure desire to know Him more, not because of some "unspoken Christian law" that says you have to spend a set amount of time each day with God. but yet, if i desire that time so much, how come i have such a hard time making the time for it?

i don't even know if that last paragraph made sense, but i'm on the phone w/marissa so i'm going to just post this and get back to it later. so disregard any randomness or uncompleted thoughts.

:)

keep it real.
~jen~

ah, clean clothes

okay so let me apologize first for the disorganized pictures of my board. i still don't totally understand how to put pictures on this thing and have it be neat and tidy. i like neat and tidy. i know my parents probably don't think that, judging by my overwhelming clean room (HA!) that i have when i'm home. but i really do like things neat and tidy.

i am so proud of myself. i finally did my laundry today after a month of not doing it. AND!!! and i finally used up my first bottle of laundry detergent (or whatever the liquid stuff is called that you put in the washer). isn't laundry detergent the powdery stuff?

i was just going to post real quick 'cause i want to go to bed. then i realized my laundry's not done and i have to wait to put it in the dryer before i can go ten toes up on my bed. sad.

today's ted's birthday. i'm pretty sure he'll never see this in his life, but ted, if you ever do, happy birthday buddy. i had a party for you in my heart. okay not really.

on a more serious note, i read a really interesting (and good) book this past week. and what proves that it's a good book is the fact that i read it in under a week. i'm still working on other books that i started over a year ago. and those are really good ones too (like Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper - can i get an amen on that one, anyone?), i just don't finish them...haha :) but this one was short and totally what i am going through right now.

it's called Stop Dating the Church - Fall in Love with the Family of God by good ol' Joshua Harris. you know, the guy who wrote all the "i kissed dating goodbye", "boy meets girl"...all those relationship books. :) i saw this book in the LU bookstore about a month ago and wanted to read it so bad but didn't want to put up the money for it. it's really not expensive, it's like $10. but sometimes that just sounds like a lot more. anyway, i'd been thinking about it a lot since i saw it, and the other night i was waiting for friends to meet me at Barnes & Noble to get coffee and so i decided to find the book and sit down and read a few pages. but by the time people got there, i was too drawn in so i HAD to buy it. :) i like to justify it by thinking "well who really would want to buy that book now anyway, now that i've had my hands all over it?" good reasoning, i know.

okay so do you think i could just get on with this already? sorry. ANYWAY, this book totally summed up when i've been doing in regards to the church. well, not totally, but i could relate a lot to it and indeed label myself as a self-admitted church dater. i'm not going to summarize the whole book, but there's this point/question i want to bring up real quick. josh harris says you can boil down all the points you're looking for in a church into these 3 broad catagories. You want a church that: teaches God's Word, values God's Word, and lives God's Word. so i took that and looked at how my church back home matches up with that. it matches up pretty stinkin' well. and one thing this book brought up that made me thankful about my church back home is church discipline. a ton of churches have disregarded that. so that's something i learned to value in that church.

the question is...so...okay, a church matches up with those 3 catagories. great, right? but like...what if the church lacks passion for Jesus Christ? is that a reason to leave a church? so the church has a ton of knowledge about the Word and about theological stands and doctrine. that's all important (well, to an extent)...but what if it doesn't have a passion for just simple yet profound things - like Jesus Christ and His desire for us and His desire for us to desire Him back? and the joy and excitement that comes along with that? is this a valid reason for leaving a church?

anyone who reads this, any thoughts/ideas/opinions/facts are welcome. :)

alright i'm going to check on that laundry. i want to go to bed. jack johnson rocks. he's playing in my room tonight and is keepin' the atmosphere laid back and relaxed. rock on, jack johnson.

keep it real.
~jen~