Things I’ve Learned Out West

when you think of being in a culture completely foreign to you, you normally think of another country.  I do, anyway.

not anymore.

welcome to the West.

I can talk sports.  I can talk music.  I can talk about Jesus.  I can even carry on conversations about boats and alternative energy to a certain extent.

throw me out West into cowboy-culture and I am totally lost.

it’s led to some comical situations.  so, drum roll please…….

Things I’ve Learned Out West – A Comical Approach
-Never make a big deal when a cowboy is wearing a cowboy hat. Do not excitedly exclaim, “Aw you’re wearing your cowboy hat!  That’s so cool!!”  … and especially don’t follow it with “You look like a real cowboy!”  Act cool.  Nonchalant.  A calm, “nice hat” is about as far as you want to go with that one.  (Hi Pastor Scott!! :) )

-Rocky Mountain Oysters are not from the sea.  At all.  When asked if I liked oysters, I said, “Yeah!”  When asked if I’d had Rocky Mountain oysters, I said, “No – but I’d try them!”  To which I was disgusted to find out they’re bull calf testicles.  Why in the world anyone would EVER think to even eat those things is way beyond my comprehension.  Why in the world anyone would ever think to CONTINUE making those things after the initial test is even farther beyond my comprehension.

-Cows are not just "cows”.  A cow is a female.  A bull is a male.  and a steer is a…castrated male.  So out here, when someone’s talking about a cow – they are actually talking about a legit female cow.  not just a cow in general.  When I found out what a steer actually is, I suddenly felt the urge to go pet the steers hanging out in the chutes waiting to be roped.  Which leads to…

-Never pet the steers in the chutes when you’re working the chutes for the ropers.  It’s just not cool.

-Never hoot and holler when you go to a roping.  Cowboys don’t tend to show emotion and apparently they highly frown upon people hootin’ and hollerin’ and holding signs at their ropings.  I don’t know.  We just thought it would be encouraging.  We left the signs at home and I only accidentally let a “YEAH!!!!” escape out of my mouth a couple times.

-When people ask if you “ride”, they aren’t just asking if you’ve ridden a nearly-deceased horse on a trail at some youth camp sometime during your life.  a girl asked me this past weekend at the coffee shop if I “ride”, to which I answered, “Not really – I mean, I have for fun but that’s it.”  - thinking that was an honest and safe answer.  then she followed that question up with “Do you ride English or Western?” …uh… to which I responded, “Um…I have no idea, whatever the safest and easiest is…?”  Apparently I’ve ridden Western.  now I can tell people “Yeah, I ride Western…you know, just on occasion…and like…you know, at slow paces…”

 

so, needless to say, I have a lot of learnin’ to do out here.  I feel SO out of place.  I’m just thankful that the people here are so nice and I’ve found that as long as I’m honest about not having a clue as to what they’re talking about, they’re more than willing to explain things to me.  :)

I have a dream that one day I’ll come across someone out here that loves surfing and I can talk about the Hobgoods, Hamilton, Slater, Machado, etc. and all the sick breaks they surf.

until then, cows it is.