where i want to be

oh how strongly i don't want to be at school right now. my heart is in the Keys. i love my apartment up here, i love my roommates, i love my friends i have here(the ones that haven't graduated and left, that is). but i just do not want to be here. i have no desire to go to any of my classes except my theology (sects & cults) class that Caner's teaching.

i get a phone call tonight and hear mass chaos in the background. then i start being able to make out people's words and realize it's a group of my friends from the Keys, calling me on speaker phone :) oh it was torture! they had played ultimate frisbee (the Sunday night ritual) and were at taco bell and the phone got passed around from person to person (including lucy!) - oooooh how every ounce of my body yearns to be down there!

it doesn't help that i now realize how much of a joke my major is at this university. you know it's bad when 2 of the head professors in the degree tell you to look at different schools to finish your degree. yes, ladies and gentlemen, i had 2 of the professors tell our video production class last year that the broadcasting major at our school is a joke, we don't have the right equipment to learn what we need to, and we should consider other universities. one even proceeded to ramble off a list of schools he'd recommend. yeah...that really motivates you to finish up and get your degree, knowing that you won't be taught what you need to know to have the experience and knowledge to get a credible job. goodness.

on a much lighter note, i have had a very enjoyable weekend. that's probably because i was gone all saturday and sunday afternoon. saturday a group of us went to VA beach for the ECSC (East Coast Surf Competition) which i've gone to every year i've been at Liberty. it's worth the 4 hour drive over there and the 4 hour drive back :D i got to watch amature surfers showing off their skills and, my favorite, the super groms showing off their mad skills - SO adorable. AND i got to run into the salty ocean water and be reunited with its beauty and experience its unfailing ability to wash away every care in the world, though temporary. i absolutely love that God has created the ocean for us to enjoy. absolutely love it.

today casey's "boyfriend" (she doesn't like calling him that, but for lack of a better word...:) ) todd took us out on his boat on Smith Mountain lake and we got to go water skiing. i chose not to, after being reminded of my failed attempts at wakeboarding a year ago. and the wipeouts look painful. maybe next time. :) but it was SO great to just be out on the boat, jumping into the middle of the lake and experiencing FRESH water. it's crazy to jump in and surface for air without having that super salty taste in your mouth. and i got to drive the boat while todd water skiied - that rocked. it was my 1st time driving a boat with someone skiing off the back.

and here i sit, once again back in l-burg at my apartment. sipping my decaf coffee. wondering if this update will mean that Becky will update her blog now :)

keep it real.
~jen~

one more thing

i thought i'd post the website of the ministry we're going down to the DR to help.

http://www.dominicancrossroads.com/

His fingerprints

Can you see God's fingerprints on specific events in your life that led to specific events that led to specific events? if you be still and reflect on what's happened in your life over the past year or so, i bet you'd be able to see some of His fingerprints. tonight i was hit by an awareness to God's fingerprints in my life over the past year in a specific area.

i'll try to keep this relatively short and non-ramblish. :)

last fall, God really laid something on my heart during a "missions emphasis" week at school that i never forgot. He opened my eyes to how much of the world does not even know about this amazing, loving Creator who desires to deeply for them to know Him. i'm not good at speaking in front of people. i'm not all that great with little kids. i wanted to be used by God to reach people, but didn't know how. but He gave me a vision that week of how i could mix my love for multimedia with missions. i suddenly had this realization that i could go along with mission teams and document the trips on video, putting together multimedia to bring back to the States to raise awareness of what is going on in the world, in hope of spurring others into action. i had never really wanted to do much with overseas missions, but suddenly i had this desire to go. i just didn't know when or where, but i started praying about it and i was open to it.

then right after thanksgiving, i get a phone call from andy, asking if i'd like to intern with the youth ministry down here in the Keys. i would be doing video work for the ministry, which was something i enjoy doing. so i jumped at the opportunity, but was a little discouraged that i wasn't going to be going on any mission trips anytime soon now.

so i get down here, and within the first week or 2, a friend down here showed me her friend's blog on myspace. this girl lives in the dominican republic, and ministry is her life down there. her blog broke my heart. the poverty, the sickness, the need for Jesus down in the DR. i wanted desperately to go down there, to help in some way, and to also document what's going on down there to bring awareness to the States. but i had no clue how i would be able to get down there and so i didn't think i'd be going down there anytime soon.

however, shortly after that day, i was asked if i would like to go with a group down to this exact place in the DR for a week this summer...wow. how could i say no? i was already seeing God's hand in all of this.

so i sign up, i pay my deposit. i have money in my bank account to cover a good portion of the trip, if i wasn't able to raise the money. then an unexpected financial situation came up and i found myself down to about...$20 to my name (yes, that would be including both of my savings and checking accounts). i still had tons of money to raise to go to the DR and i had no income. talk about discouraging. i didn't know what God was trying to tell me, but i wasn't ready to give up on this trip to the DR just yet.

i showed up at every carwash, yardsale, bake sale, and spaghetti dinner fundraiser that i could. i was able to go home to MI for a week and work all week for my dad's company. i get a phone call this week from lisa (she's heading up the trip) and find out i only have $110 left to pay for the trip, and i hang up, so excited because i had that much (not a whole lot more) in my bank account from working for my dad. so i run and tell my sister the great news, and she tells me even BETTER news! someone had donated money toward me, sadie, and andy's trips and it was enough to cover my $110 i had left!! praise the Lord!!!!

so i am leaving next thursday, july 27th, for the DR and i am so incredibly stoked! tonight, after looking back and seeing all of God's fingerprints on this trip, i can't help but be stoked because i know this is what God has planned out for me.

on another note of excitement: this ministry that we're going down to work with, part of their ministry is building concrete homes for Haitian refugees to get them out of the dumps and shacks (if they're even considered shacks). it only costs $3,000 to build one of these homes for a family. today a man donated $3,000 for us to take down to have a home built!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how awesome is that?!?!

i, for one, am truly stoked by God this week.

keep it real.
~jen~

spastic cat

there is a spastic kitty jumping from mattress to bookshelf to mattress to floor to 2nd mattress to other mattress to the back of my plastic chair, only to find she can't get a hold on it and she slides down the arm of the chair, back to the ground to start this routine over again...

she's psycho.

i had 2 funny reminders today that i am officially living in the Keys. 1, i saw a super sweet, super expensive cadillac today at the gas station. as i was admiring the fine specimen, i see a skinny, middle-age dude with long, greying scraggly hair walking toward the pumps. i think "wow, at first i thought HE might be the owner of that car, but now that i see him - ha - no way!" but sure enough...he jumps on in. it proves the point that the majority of the population down here consists of middle to late-aged people who have a lot of money, who move down here and become too lazy to take care of themselves but they sure know how to waste their money.

and 2, and the more humorous of the 2. you know you're in a tropical environment when you swerve to miss iguanas instead of swerving to miss "normal" typical roadkill (i.e. raccoons, squirrels, rabbits, etc.). i have only seen 1 roadkill raccoon down here (which, to this day still stumps me - i have no clue how wild animals get down this far into the Keys when only bridges connect the islands). but today i watched an iguana taking his time, walking down the side of the road as i drove past. and the other day, me and my friend Lisa were driving down a neighborhood street and see an iguana blocking our lane. i come to a COMPLETE stop, and the iguana just sits there in front of my car. so i inch forward more and more, and i get so close to it that i can't even see it. it takes a couple tiny steps. finally, lisa jumps out of the car and starts walking up to it and it takes off into the trees. suicidal little thing, more scared of a human than of a car.

alright, time to catch the kitty and send her out of my room so i can sleep in peace without a little furball jumping up in the middle of the night to attack my head.

keep it real.
~jen~

a cool colored wall

well, since you guys have given such a great response to my new ability & skills of posting pictures, i felt bad going to bed without giving you all something to entertain you. this is a picture i took of me a week or 2 ago in the half of the bathroom that is done (the sink) and the cool color we did on the walls. now, everybody go, "ooooh!"

keep it real.
~jen~

a new specimen

so i come home sunday night and find a group of guys standing in the dining room looking at me with a suspicious look on their faces. i walked past them, turned around to question them, and then realized they had now turned their focus to something underneath the table. despite hearing them tell me, "you don't see anything!", i saw it. i believe most americans call this thing a "cat". it turns out that one of the guys (joel) living here was given this kitten, so now we have a feline living amongst us. i despise cats. i think they're stuck up, they shed, they pee on things, they scratch, and they bite and infect people (right, Becky?).

and wouldn't you know it, this little thing decided she likes MY room the most. and since joel is gone most of the day, i feel bad locking it in his room. so i have given in and allowed Zion (that's the kitten's name) to enter my room. stinkin' little thing is pretty cute, i'll give her that. i think she's like, 8 weeks old or something, i really don't know. but she's tiny. i guess this just prepares me for my apartment next year, where it looks like both of my roommates will be bringing cats - sick.

yea for mondays

i love mondays down here. mondays are our "day off" where we get to go play if we want and don't have to work on STS (the ministry here) stuff. today we went out fishing on andy's dad's boat. it was my 1st time fishing in salt water!! we didn't catch any keeper-size fish, but i was just excited to catch as many fish as we did. and we saw a sea turtle!!!! like, 4 times! he decided he wanted to chill by our boat all day i guess. and one of the 1st fish i caught died somehow (he swallowed the hook, so i think that aided his earthly departure) so we threw it back in the water and a bird came and swooped it up. and THEN (yes, i enjoyed my day, can you tell?) we saw a huge baracuda right next to our boat and it swam away. then sadie caught a fish and was reeling it in and it was right next to the boat and the cuda came and grabbed the fish off the line (hook and all - talk about stomach ache). then maya was reeling in a fish and a cuda came and sliced off her line and got her fish & hook. crazy.
here's a picture of 1 of my fish. it's a yellowtail...something. and we kept catching these fish called "grunts" and they're so cool 'cause they actually make a grunting noise when they're out of the water. man...God's creations are just so cool :)

a must-listen-to

Audrey Assad rocks my face off and i want you guys to hear some of her music! check out her myspace - http://www.myspace.com/audreyassadsings and enjoy! she was down here last week and helped lead worship at our youth group last Thursday. she has got such a beautiful, God-given gift for music (not only her voice, but she is absolutely amazing on the piano). go listen!

keep it real.
~jen~

PS - Nancy, i'm trying to set up a website for the youth ministry down here and have like, 2.46 questions. can you call me when you get a chance? :D

ode to the bathroom

i like to call it our "3rd world bathroom". you kinda feel like you're in some poverty-stricken place and you're tempted to really go for the full effect and sustain from using toilet paper...but then reality hits and you decide that as long as there's toilet paper there, you might as well use it. it's the last room to be reconstructed since the hurricane last October. i'm convinced i'm going to open the door one day and find a huge cock-a-roach waiting for me. that's why i always enter with flip flops.



once you survive the entry, all that's left to do is sit and enjoy the view.


keep it real.
~jen~

pictures now included!

 

people of the world! every boy and every girl! people of the world! ahhhhhhhhh --
(that was a spice girls song...anyone catch that?)

i finally downloaded picasa on this computer so i can blog with pictures :) this pic is from our carwash this past saturday. we did a carwash to try to raise money for our trip to the Dominican Republic. yes, that's a fire truck behind us - i would have to say that they were our "biggest" customer - ah-hahaha i'm so funny. we raised over $500 at the carwash, but when you divide that among all the people that worked at it...we didn't really make a ton :) but we sure had fun! (wow, that rhymed. i'm a poet and didn't even know it. does anybody want a peanut??)

more to come.

keep it real.
~jen~ 

i set my alarm clock tonight

6:50am. that's what i set it for. do you realize how long it's been (or how long it FEELS it's been) since i've had to set an alarm? i'm getting used to this life in tropical paradise-on-earth. stay up late and sleep in 'til around 8:30 or whenever my biological clock decides it's time to get up.

so, yes. i finally plugged in my alarm clock tonight and set it for 6:50am. we're headed to O-Town (Orlando) for the weekend for a girl's graduation. i'm going along to take care of Lucy while everyone's at the graduation festivities. she's almost 2 1/2 years old, but my sister just doesn't feel Lucy's quite ready to watch herself yet. hey, i'm not complainin'.

yes, most of you have probably heard by now, but it's the biggest news of my life for the week so i will say it again. i saw my 1st scorpion this week and it was horrific. it's tail alone was about 3 inches long. and andy said it was a "little" one. pssssccchh. if that was little, i don't want to see what's "normal". the good news is that it was dead. supposedly they crawl out into open areas when they're about to die, and so that's what this one had done. oh and i walked into my room last night and was greeted by a 2-3 inch long cockroach. he (or she, for that matter. i didn't take the time to inspect it's sexual orientation before yelling for help) is now sufficiently squished into various pieces and shoved under the crack in the wall, thanks to Kiedis (a friend who came down for the week to help work on the house). i check on it periodically to make sure it didn't reattach itself and crawl away. apparently, you can cut the head off a cockroach and it'll live 'til it starves to death. so for all i know, this cockroach could very well reattach it's entrails and come after me.

sound the trumpets!! i have a ticket booked to fly home from July 3-11th! WOO WOOOOT!

i'm having a great time getting to know the people down here. and learning how life goes down here. it's almost a different culture, in some aspects. here's the shocker of the day: i haven't even been to the beach yet! i've been here just over a week now, and haven't gone to the beach! i came so close to getting to go last night, but then lucy ruined our chance by not listening to her mommy, so we didn't get to go. sad. i tried to explain to sadie that lucy is her own person, and if lucy wants to only eat candy and marshmellows for dinner, that's totally fine. but sadie just doesn't get it, i guess. (totally kidding :) i can't remember what exactly lucy did that got us all punished, but i'm sure it was cute).

alright dudes, i was going to write about what i've been learning lately but my computer has finished it's updates that i was waiting for it to finish and i want to go to bed. you go to bed, too.

keep it real.
~jen~

summer time is just around the weekend!

yes, i see you all sitting there with your jaws dropped open, your eyes wide and tears welling up. i am putting up a new post. the day has arrived. cheers errupt.

:D

it was has been one crazy semester. it started off slow and gained speed quickly. i've been working around 30-40 hours a week for the past month and a half, and i forget the fact that i'm also taking 18 credit hours :) it's just so hard to come home from work, after sitting in front of a computer for hours taking orders over the phone and doing customer service, and come home to just sit more in front of my computer to do homework and video projects. not my idea of fun. and therefore, i'm behind on some video projects. stink.

but! the good news of the day. i just turned in my 15 minute final video project. i just submitted my 21 page script (the inventor of double-spacing is my hero), 10 page outline of my script, and character biographies all for my scriptwriting class. and all i have left (school-wise) are 3 measley little finals that i'm not too worried about. praise the Lord!!

and the best news of all. a week from today, i will be crusin' in my car with Benton, down to fort lauderdale where we'll spend the night with our good friend Holly. then i'll drop Benton off at the airport on Tuesday and finish my trek down to the Keys for the summer! YEA! the time has arrived and i am so stoked :D it's going to be a stretching summer, but i'm so excited to see how God changes me and uses me in other's lives (i'm hoping i allow Him to use me, anyway).

my last final is Thursday at 8am. woot wooooot!

nancy, join facebook. everybody's doing it.

keep it real.
~jen~

"breathe"

another beautiful time at church this morning. i was so unsatisfied with "church" last semester. i didn't like what i experienced going on at churches i'd go to and i began to wonder if i'd ever find a church i could go to and not feel guilty going to. i did start going regularly (that's a relative term) for about a month to one church that was not as conservative as the church i went to back home but still not completely modernized. and i enjoyed it to an extent and there were some great messages but i still didn't feel all-around satisfied with going there. this semester i've started going to a new church and i absolutely love it. i've come to the realization (a very FREEING realization) that we all are drawn to different styles of churches. doctrinally speaking, there's not a lot of room to budge. but with the issue of the style of church, i've realized that it's okay to pick a church based on my preference of style (as long as, of course, it's doctrinally sound). and by realizing this, it's also allowed me to accept the way some churches "do church". it's not my way of doing things, but it's other people's ways and props to them for going to a church that they can serve in and be challenged & grow in. needless to say, my bitterness i had developed towards some places has greatly gone down and i thank the Lord for that because it was eating away at me daily.

so anyway, the 1st few weeks or so of this semester, the pastor was doing a series called "Home" and basically it was a series of messages teaching what the mission of this church was, why they were heading toward this specific vision, and how they were going to introduce new programs to the church. and what was so cool was that my whole idea of what the local church should be matches up nearly exactly with what this church's idea is. i'm just sad that after i'm done at liberty, i don't plan on living in this area and so i know my time at this church probably won't be too long-term. but - you never know, right? :) hmm...OR! or maybe the term "church plant" will take on a whole new meaning - it will mean taking a local church and moving the entire church body to a new location so they can continue with their mission together in a new place (obviously, that place would be wherever i end up moving to after liberty - hehehe :) it's not selfishness...well...okay maybe it is).

wow, am i rambling? yeah, pretty sure.

the message this morning was part 2 of a series called "Breathe". everyone fears something (or some-things) in life. we fear things (sharks!), people (public speaking - hello), death, the unknown (natural disasters, the supernatural, etc). we allow these things to paralyze us. i know i allow them to. the funny thing was, the pastor used the example of his fear of sharks, which i can strongly relate to (AND, oddly enough, it all goes back to him going behind his parent's backs and sneaking peeks of the movie "JAWS" when it was on TV when he was 7 or 8...hmm...sounds a lot like someone else i know...sorry mom & dad :) ). we fear people, not only speaking in front of groups, but we also fear what people think about us. we wonder if they're staring at the big zit we have on our chin or if they're secretly laughing hysterically at our bed-head hair. i can't tell you how many opportunities i've passed up in life because i gave in to my fears.

most of us know the passage in Matthew 6, the passage on "Do Not Worry". yeah, my Bible pretty much flips open to that page when you drop it on the ground. but do we actually live our lives like we believe it? i often think, "oh, that passage just means when you're tight on money and can't make ends meet". but it's so much more than that. it applies to every aspect of our lives. to overcome fear, we've got to accept God's care for our life. His indescribable love for us and His overwhelming desire to care for us when we humble ourselves before Him and realize our desperate need for Him DAILY. 1 Peter 5:6-7 tells us to humble ourselves before the Lord and He will lift us up in due time. "in due time" - this means we might be uncomfortable for a time, but God promises to life us up in His good and perfect timing. the verse goes on to tell us to cast all our cares upon Him because He cares for us.

where fear exists, love can't. and where love can't, we can't be really living the life God calls us to. when fear overcomes us and we don't trust in God's care, we pass opportunities from God up and aren't fully carrying out God's work He's given us. this is not to say God can never use us again once we drop the ball. but until we overcome our fears by trusting in God's care for our lives, we're going to continue missing amazing opportunities He gives us.

i like how the pastor put it - "when you partner with God, why would He not care for you?" Matthew 6 goes on to say, "But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." If you're fully surrendering your life (including your fears) to God, He WILL care for us completely and help us to carry out the plan, the purpose He has for each of our lives.

so, i don't know about you. but i've got a lot of livin' to do now. :) 1st thing's 1st - i'm goin' surfin'!!!! :D

(and please don't write me off as being shallow and assuming the only application i took away from this message was that i can now overcome my fear of sharks and live out my dream of going surfing :) this message of overcoming fear is life-changing if i (you) put it into action. let's get out there and start taking the opportunities God gives us to be used by Him in every area of life!)

wow, is it almost midnight? my 7:50am class suddenly seems a lot closer now...stink.

keep it real.
~jen~

a humerous Bible moment

so i'm reading Exodus 8 today in the mall parking lot (that's another story, but yes, the mall parking lot) and i came across something that made me laugh and re-read it to see if i was really comprehending it correctly. in chapter 8, God sends the plague of frogs on Pharaoh and the Egyptians. Pharaoh calls Moses & Aaron in and asks them to pray to God to remove the frogs. Moses is, like (okay, this is Jen-phrased, but it's accurate, go check for yourself :) ), "Alright, sure, when do you want me to pray that?" and Pharaoh says, "Dude, like...tomorrow." TOMORROW!? what? did he seriously want to have one last night of sharing his house with tons of frogs hopping and pooping (yeah, frogs do that too) everywhere? i don't understand the man. but it's Pharaoh we're talking about, i mean...c'mon, it took losing his firstborn son in order to let him let the Israelites out of slavery and even THEN he chased after them. it just stumps me as to why Pharaoh asked Moses & Aaron to pray "tomorrow" instead of "RIGHT NOW!" crazy man.

i drew a picture of a butterfly today. okay, no i didn't. but i did finish my perspective drawing of the corner of my room and my dresser. it's due in my art class tomorrow. and i must say, it turned out much better than i planned. you can actually tell what it is. who says miracles don't happen? :) i'm horrible at drawing, but i have to take this class in order to take any graphic design classes. go figure.

i've discovered this amazing new technique in life recently. it's called "getting things done instead of sitting down and thinking about what i have to do". it's amazing! i've discovered that writing a quick note and sticking it in the mail to send to a friend (yes, SNAIL MAIL! :::gasp:::) is incredibly easier than i thought. mailing checks in to pay for bills is also extremely easy if you just take a couple minutes to write the check and put it in the envelope. even going to the gym fits in this category. my 7:50am class was canceled this morning and since i wasn't able to sleep in (a house of 4 girls means non-quiet early mornings) i laid in bed thinking about how i should go to the gym. BUT instead of deciding on a satisfying excuse to not go, i decided to just get out of bed and go to the gym, even if i only ran on the treadmill for 5 minutes (thankfully, i did exceed that goal on the treadmill, but not by much). and guess what. i felt great the rest of the day because i made the decision to just do it, even though i didn't really want to at the time. oh! and i've also discovered how easy it is to just snap a quick picture of yourself and send it to people for a random bit o' fun!

just call me miss productive from now on. or rita watson. whichever you prefer.

keep it real.
~jen~

66 n 06

as most of you who read this already know, i just got back to my house at school tonight after a busy weekend trip home! i got to fly home for bree's wedding, which was SO much fun! i think it was the fastest trip i've ever taken home. flew home friday afternoon, flew back sunday afternoon. but it was worth it. i even got home in time to catch the end of 2nd quarter and the rest of the super bowl game :D

so, 66 n 06. what is it? it's a commitment that the campus pastors at LU have been encouraging students to make this year. it's reading through the Bible in one year (hence, 66 books of the Bible in '06...and yet still i know there's SOMEONE out there who's still not catching on...haha okay just kidding :)). anyway, i'm reading through the Bible this year, something i've never actually accomplished since my parents did it with me and my sister when we were in elementary school (wow, that's embarassing).

anyway, so i started it a week or 2 ago. and this past week we had a speaker come to LU and he was talking about how we lack so much in our view of how big God really is. How powerful and in control He really is. he pointed out a few people in the Bible who had atleast a little bigger view of God. like Moses, seeing God part the Red Sea. David, seeing God empower him to overcome Goliath. these guys trusted in the Lord as they carried out what God had called them to do. the tasks seemed impossible. but they got to see a glimpse of God's power. their view of God was increased. so this speaker dude encouraged us, as we read anything in Scripture, to allow the Holy Spirit to increase our views of God. that we may see and learn more and more about God from every single passage we read. because the Bible is...well, it's essentially all about God. so just in the past week, as i've continued reading thru Genesis, i've been trying to read it with the mindset of, "okay, how is God moving in this passage? where is the hand of God?" and it is so amazing!! it's not always easy, mainly because i'm not used to reading passages with that mindset. sometimes i find myself just looking for the places where it says "And the Lord said..." or whatever. and while, yes, that counts...it's kinda cheating :)

God stokes me so much. i'm so excited to see what God will do in 2006 in the lives of people i know, especially in my family, friends, and well...my own life as well.

keep it real.
~jen~

the hook-up

oh happy day, we're getting cable internet today at our house!! blogs will be updated much more regularly, children will be singing in the streets (joyfully, with full bellys), and we shall eat fattened calfs!

wow that's random.

more-regularly-updated blogging to occur in the short, near future.

keep it real.
~jen~

joyful joyful

quick post. just checked the 10-day forecast for lynchburg, VA and the day after i get back there, it's supposed to be 65 degrees. beautimus. absolutely beautimus. i actually teared up, i was that excited. :D

statistics

from woodtv.com:

"Today represents the 46th day in a row that Grand Rapids and most of the rest of West Michigan has received a trace or more of precipitation. Also we've had 14 days in row with no sunshine. If we don't receive any today then we will have tied the all time record."

they make it sound like they WANT to tie the record. sick people.

12

when you hear the number "12", what do you think of? perhaps you think of the number..."12". okay, so we all probably do. but get past that. think deeper. you may think "12" months of the year; "12" days of Christmas"; "12" tribes of Israel (?? it sounds right...). but i bet you would never think of what i am about to associate with the number "12". today marks the 12th consecutive day of total cloud-cover in Michigan. for those of you who live in more sun-drenched places (ie, anywhere but michigan), that means we have not seen even a hint of the sun in 12 consecutive days. you go outside at 11am and feel like it's 5pm. it's dark. it's drizzling. it's foggy. it's total evidence of the Fall of Man, if you ask me.

sometimes i like to lay on my couch, floor, bed, anything flat, and close my eyes and pretend to be in a warm, tropical environment. i repeat to myself over and over the fact that i will be in the Florida Keys for my spring break in march. not only do i have that to look forward to, but i quite possibly might be spending my 3 months of summer living in the Keys working with a youth ministry down there called STS (student to student).

okay, totally did a segway (spelling?) there - man, that was smooth.

for those who didn't catch it, yes, i am in fact looking at heading down to the tropical Keys this summer and interning with the ministry down there where my sister & bro-in-law are working. andy called me about a week before i came home for Christmas break and asked if i'd be interested in interning down there to help out with the ministry, specifically with videography. i have wanted to work with STS for a few years now and i came close to going down there for a couple months about 2 years ago but totally didn't have the money to do it. there's such a darkness in people's lives down there, including the kids'. i'm so stoked to even have the opportunity to go down there finally and help.

so if God randomly brings it to anyone's mind, i'm asking that you pray for me as i finalize plans to go down there. i'm not totally set on going down yet, so i'm praying about it and praying that God will give me a peace about which route to go with my summer.

here's to the sunshine.

keep it real.
~jen~

a thought on pride

i've just started a new book i got over Thanksgiving break, it's called "Humility - True Greatness" by C.J. Mahaney. since i didn't have to work today and everyone is out of my house doing different things, i decided it was a good time to sit in my quiet house and do a little reading. i read the following passage and i think it has so much impact to it that i couldn't help but post it on here. and as a disclaimer, i wasn't reading this passage thinking "oh, so and so needs to hear this" or anything, and the quoting of this passage is not directed at anybody, so no one go off and think "oh she SO wrote that because of me, i hate her and her sombrero!"...or anything like that. it's just a passage that impacted me in a big way when i read it and i pray it will continue to impact me.

"Pride takes innumerable forms but has only one end: self-glorification. That's the motive and ultimate purpose of pride - to rob God of legitimate glory and to pursue self-glorification, contending for supremacy with Him. The proud person seeks to glorify himself and not God, thereby attempting in effect to deprive God of something only He is worhty to receive. No wonder God opposes pride. No wonder He hates pride." (pg. 32)

pride is one of those sins that sometimes is not blatantly visible in people's lives. if someone has a problem with getting drunk, you know it. if someone has a problem with sexual morality, you know it. it's visible, you see their struggle. THEY know they're sinning (i'm talking from a believer's standpoint). pride often hides below the surface. it's a sin that is hard to realize you have unless you take time to allow the Holy Spirit to search your heart and show you where you struggle in living a life in total submission to the Lord. but it's such a serious sin. i'd even venture to say that pride is, in essence, at the root of all sin. it's a serious sin that's often not taken seriously.

back to reading.

keep it real.
~jen~

this little thing called "L..."

no, not love.

it's this little thing named Lucy that has kept me busy the past week and a half. andy, sadie, and lucy flew in on the 18th and are staying until Jan. 2nd. i'm getting tons of time in with them and it's been so much fun! i'm anxious to spend some more time with my friends though (for real, guys!). but i know that after they leave next monday, i'll have tons and tons of time to run around with a sombrero on my head and scream "holy guacamole!" with my friends.

i'm sitting here, drinking my coffee, waiting for the rest of the gang to get ready so we can FINALLY go to kregel and pick up some new music.

i caved this week. i went and saw Narnia with my family. ONLY because my mom had free gift certificates for all of us to go so i didn't have to pay. i've never been a fan of the Narnia stuff. yes, i hear those gasps of disbelief from you all. i don't like Narnia, i don't like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, i don't like the Wizard of Oz, i don't like Lord of the Rings. there, i said it. i don't know why i don't like these movies, but i think it's because of the overwhelming presence of masked characters. i have a phobia of people in masks. yes, i'm weird. i also can't stand lipstick, it makes me want to gag.

Narnia was a very well-made movie and has such an awesome message to it. i'll give it that. i might even watch it again if someone rents it.

it is so dark and gloomy out. it's been like this pretty much all week. when i lived in california, i would've been so stoked to have a dark and gloomy day. i'd get all excited and want to curl up inside and hope for a big thunderstorm. that's because it was usually sunny there and to have full cloud-cover was rare. in michigan, it's more rare to see the sun than to see the clouds (especially in the winter). so while it's exciting for maybe the first day, after the 1,248,309th consecutive day of darkness, it gets a little old.

so maybe that's a little bit of an exaggeration. but still.

possibly some big plans in the works for this summer. stay tuned as they solidify. (oooh - now i have you curious, eh?)

kregel, here i come.

keep it real.
~jen~

Soon to come

new post soon to come, i half promise. after this next monday (dec. 5th i think) i'll have time to write up something. stay tuned, yo.

keep it real.
jen

the idea of posting overwhelms me

yes, that's right. the idea of posting overwhelms me. because i have so much i want to post and i can never decide where to start. and many of the things i don't even know if i should post about. some people get offended. some people don't like being "preached" to. others would rather me just talk about random things i do each day instead of what God's doing in my life. do you really want me to spew all the stuff that's running through my head, that keeps me awake some nights? nah, that'd probably cause a mess. some stuff's just not meant for blogging.

the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! (hahaha okay, totally being sarcastingly dramatic there, just had to throw in a movie quote)

oh, don't worry. there's lots of good stuff going on in this head of mine too. :) i am so thankful that i can know the God that desires to have every moment with me, desires to know every detail of my life, desires to be my one true desire.

my laptop is making weird whirrring noises. it probably's about time to turn it off for the night. here's to a super busy week ahead. thanksgiving break is gonna feel goooood :D

keep it real.
~jen~

update on my family in the Keys

just thought i'd share an update on my sister, bro-in-law, niece, and friends who live in Marathon, FL (in the florida keys). it had looked like hurricane wilma might not impact them much, but instead it was one of the hardest hit Keys. go figure.

little lucy butt slept thru the entire thing last night, which was a blessing. the rest of them didn't get much sleep because the hurricane was so loud. they woke up in the morning and thought they had faired pretty well. andy & shane took the truck out and drove around the area to assess the damage and the neighbors on another street warned them the storm surge was coming in quick. they went down another street and sure enough, saw tons of water coming down the road. they rushed home and had about 15 minutes to get everything they could and put it up high. the storm surge flooded their house and cars with about 2 feet of water (which also included sewage). the water has gone out now, but there is so much damage. sadie's car flooded up to the windows and looks like it is unsalvageable but they've got andy's truck running. a couple from the church had an empty condo on the 14th floor of a building that they were looking for renters for, so the 5 of them (sadie, andy, lucy, shane, and jenna) are all going to rent the condo for the next month while they fix up the house.

please pray for them when the Lord brings them to your mind.
pray for:
-peace, comfort
-sanity, as cramming 5 people in 1 condo will definitely be a test of patience (sadie & andy are married, shane heads up the youth ministry, and jenna is working in the keys for a little while longer until she joins her husband on the west coast - so obviously, they're all from different situations)
-pray for the safety of their belongings left in the house; they had to leave the house open tonight to air it out so mold won't start growing, so pray that God protects their house from looters
-pray for guidance as they decide what the best steps to take are

it is so hard knowing they need help but not being able to be there to help them.

and marissa - they did get some video, but my mom wasn't sure if they got it of the actual hurricane :P thought you'd be interested to know that.

keep it real.
please pray for them.
~jen~

drumroll, please

here it is. a new post. isn't it so like...such a let-down when you see someone has a blog listed in their profile or something and you click on it to see what's going on in their life and they haven't updated it for like...80 years? yeah...

the problem has been that i think about putting up a new post and i'm so overwhelmed with the decision of what to write about, because i have so much i've been being taught by God lately.

a lot's been going on, both good and bad. i'll be honest, it's been a rough semester :) the 2 most recent things:

1, i got a call today from a dude who's car i backed into when he blocked my car in at my house. he's one of the construction guys. he finally got an estimate on his car, and it's going to cost most of my savings to fix it. i'll have maybe $100 left, period, if i combined my 2 bank accounts. there goes all the hard work saving my money over the summer. i have no clue how fixing the scratch on his driver's door could cost $500+...we live in an expensive world.

2, sadie, andy, lucy, and shane have decided they're going to ride out hurricane wilma down in the keys. so that's just a tad bit (okay, a bit more than a tad) unnerving knowing they're down there and waiting to see what happens with the hurricane. crazy kids.

i went to Sweet Briar college (all-girls school) tonight for their chapel service. tara & laura were leading worship and tabitha was giving the message (her testimony). it was beautiful. it was one of those times where i totally knew God had brought me there for a reason. i was reminded of how temporary things are. my house, my belongings, my money, even my body. praise God thru the storms and ever-intensify your passion for Jesus.

here's the update on my house: it's not done, i'm living in the hotel still with tara. atleast i finally get to live with this amazing girl. now i've gotten to live with all my roommates separately (kristen all last year, heidi for the first month of this semester, and now tara) and i love living with them all!! which is a good thing, and i knew i would, but it's just extra enforced now :) i can't wait 'til we all live together under the same roof (and that doesn't count the hotel's roof).

well, i've finished my decaf coffee. that means it's time to wrap this up.

keep it real.
~jen~

post #71

i have broken past my 70th post on this thing! that's a lot of expelliationing of thoughts, eh? 70 posts. and here's to 71. going strong.

so i will confess, i'm a dork. i wanted to see if i had posted about the Under the Overpass book i read in may, so i went to my May archives and ended up reading all the posts from the month :) not incredibly dorky. but wait, there's more. as i read, i started laughing out loud...at my own wise cracks and sarcasm. i'm thinking, "ha ha - man, i'm funny". so, i don't know if you guys get a kick out of reading my posts, but i sure do :D my old posts, anyway. the vast majority of my recent posts have been pretty lacking on the humor side, so i'll try to spice things back up.

but not tonight. i want to go read Lamentations :D mmmmmmmm!

keep it real.
~jen~

only in the everglades

i felt i should share this with you guys, just incase you're thinking about letting your pet alligators loose in the everglades... (???)

creepy.

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9600151/

flooding produces more patience :)

who ever thought the remnants of a tropical depression that came across northern florida could produce so many problems way up in central virginia? atleast 1 of the LU dorm buildings flooded, lightning hit a tower so LU had a power outage friday which canceled all friday classes, and jodi & jess's basement apartment has flooded. (well, not flooded-flooded. i don't know what you call it. but water's soaking thru the walls and the carpet and some places when you step on the carpet, water comes up over your foot :P ). there's mold growing already and apparently it smells horrible in here (notice, i said "apparently"). since all of the carpet will have to be replaced and a couple of the walls torn down and rebuilt, they're going to move to an apartment for the rest of the semester at least. so, probably early this next week we'll be moving all their stuff and my stuff (well...the stuff that's not in my storage unit) into an apartment. this is move #4 for me this semester. and i still haven't gotten to move into my house. :) it's been a crazy, testing semester, that's for sure.

i find with each move, i'm less and less phased by it. my dad said God's teaching me how to be flexible. well, it's sure working. :) that's the only good thing i can find that's come from this semester so far. i think He's teaching me how to live a more simplified life, too. i have a feeling by the time i move into my house, i'll want to give away (or throw away) a ton of the little knick-knack things i have, just because i've lived this much of the semester just fine without them and all they do is take up space.

i'm a pretty firm believer that everything happens for a reason. and no matter what the circumstance, we are able to bring glory to God regardless. but i'll be honest, it's been really hard to find out what the point of all this craziness has been. maybe i'll never know. or maybe (more likely), i'll find out the reason farther down the road.

oh!! i finally am getting some hours at j crew this week! that's a big answer to prayer (isn't it awesome when you pray about something and can see the prayer answered right before your eyes??). i just have 14 hours scheduled, but i am so thankful just for anything. a little income is better than no income, eh?

i've been going to Redeemer Presbyterian church the past few Sundays. i went once last semester and loved it and went to the Monday night college Bible studies. i'm pretty sure i'm going to make Redeemer the church i attend regularly while i'm here at LU. i love going, i'm challenged by the message each week and there is just so much love and joy that is evident in the church body. what's been really cool for me to experience is going to a church where the worship style isn't my preference, but yet i can still worship and fellowship and be challenged. the worship style is traditional and they mainly sing hymns and laid-back choruses, but the ones they pick to sing have beautiful lyrics that you can sing and truly mean because you can understand what you're singing.

it made me a little nervous last semester to think of going to a, dare i say it? presbyterian church. because i was raised in a Bible church, then in a baptist church, visited among the non-denominational churches. but never went to a presbyterian church. what i've learned though, is that many presbyterian churches are right on, doctrinally speaking. i've never been crazy about labeling myself as a specific denom.. what matters to me is that the church is a Bible-believing church, a church that is pleasing to God and seeks to glorify Him. that the messages are from the Word of God and not just some preacher's "ideas". i'm not a baptist. i'm not a presbyterian. i'm a follower of Christ.

keep it real.
~jen~

a new post!!

Sorry for the lack of updates people. I moved out of my wireless-internet hotel room this past weekend and am living once again with jodi & Jessica. It should only be for a week and then hopefully this weekend we can move into our house. But I really don’t plan on anything these days so we’ll see if it really happens.

I’m watching the televised broadcast of the Super Conference going on at Liberty right now. I decided to stay home tonight and watch it on TV instead of actually going to it. Just for kicks and giggles. And it does in fact make me giggle. See, there’s these 4 massive screens hanging in the 4 corners of the arena that the conference is being held in (which is also where we have chapel and campus church, among other things). Anyway, it’s always so funny when a choir will be singing and the camera zooms in on a certain person singing. They’re just singing along and then they catch a glimpse of themselves on one of the huge screens and rarely can they ever keep going on like normal. They get this smile on their face and sometimes they even start laughing and pointing (okay, so the only ones who’ve done that were the little kids who sang once, but still - it was adorable). It’s just funny, ‘cause you know if it was you you’d probably get that goofy grin on your face too. Now falwell’s speaking. I’ll stop there. :)

One other thing that makes me giggle is when ensembles are performing and at the same exact point in the song, they extend their hands out in front of them (not lifted up - extended straight out) in praise(?). I am in no way against people expressing themselves as they worship our awesome Lord. But it just doesn’t seem as like…genuine and sincere when you see a singing ensemble do the same exact thing at the same exact time, all while looking out at the crowd. Hey, they could be as sincere and genuine as ever - but still, it just makes me giggle. :D

Here’s an item for discussion that I’d like to hear anyone’s thoughts on. What do you think is the appropriate dress for church and why? Does it matter to you - and why? If you do think there is a certain way to dress for church, what do you think when you see someone wearing attire that doesn’t represent what you believe is appropriate?

If nobody responds, I’m never going to post again (yes, that’s supposed to be a threat - not a reward). :D

Keep it real.
~jen~

true sports fans

you can't say you're a true sports fan until you pull a stunt like this one:

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/americas/09/21/fake.emergency.ap/index.html

i think this just might cross over the line to "extreme infatuation" and/or perhaps mental instability.

:)

keep it real, and keep the planes flyin'.
~jen~

the emergent mystery

i thought the title was a nice play on words. the whole emergent church movement embraces mystery (the mystery of God, the mystery of the Bible, etc), yet the movement itself remains a great mystery to me.

i'm listening through the messages given at the 1-day conference that Grand Rapids Theological Seminary held last week. one of the speakers covers the topic of "hell" and says the emergent church movement does not believe in a literal hell, that it was just a teaching tool Jesus and the disciples used. then brian mclaren, a big leader in the movement, spoke again later that day and said he can't speak for all the emergent churches, but he for one does indeed believe in a literal hell, the sacrifice of God's son, the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ. which raises the following questions - what does the "emerging church" movement believe exactly, and why don't all the churches in the movement believe the same things? because if all the churches within a certain "movement" don't all agree on basic doctrine...how can you classify them all under the same movement? and if they do differ in doctrine, is it possible then that some emergent churches are truly great churches, while other emergent churches have crossed the line to being unbiblical?

on that issue of hell that was raised, it's ridiculous to say there's no literal hell. because if there's no hell, that would mean Christ's death and resurrection was for no reason, that would mean that the "Great Commission" has no application, and then why even live your life for God? because if everyone gets to go to heaven, what's the difference between someone living their life for God and someone living their life for themself? and if there is no difference, shoot - i'm going to drop everything and go live la vida loca. :P there's no justifiable way to say there's no literal hell.

well, time for theology class with dr. caner. yessssssss :D

keep it real.
~jen~

my friend gabe

due to massive amounts of requests from 1 person, i would like to dedicate this post to my friend gabe. we've gone to the same church since i moved to michigan in 5th grade. but it wasn't until my junior year of high school that gabe came up to me and asked, "are you new here?" ouch.

gabe's a good friend. he lets me think that someday i'll get to ride his dirtbike. and he has a really cool old jeep that's painted like a zebra that he promises i'll never get to drive. but i got to ride in it this past summer and that was cool.

now he's engaged and getting married in april. then he's moving into a house near my house so when i'm home from school, i can go ride my skateboard to see him and beka and their house every day.

the end.

what is the "emerging church"?

that's a good question and a hard one to answer. i've been attempting to study it for almost a year now, but it wasn't until this summer that i finally started finding hardcore information on it. sometimes the emerging church will come up in conversation or people will read my blog and ask, "wait...the emerging church? what's that?" and i fumble over words, trying to think of a way to explain it because i'm still trying to understand what the movement is, and to know it's weaknesses/strong points.

anyway, cornerstone university (err...maybe it was the seminary there...i'm not sure) held a one-day conference thing last week and brought in brian mclaren (a big name in the movement), mike wittmer (props to the man), and ed dobson (ahh-amazing). each had a time to present their thoughts...views...stuff and then there was a Q&A time at the end (i'm just going off of what the website says, i haven't listened to the mp3's yet).

ANYWAY (again), if you're interested in listening in on the "conversations", GRTS (grand rapids theological seminary - oh...so yeah, i guess it was the seminary that put it on) has posted all the audio in mp3 format at this site: http://grts.cornerstone.edu/resources/tpoints

if anyone gives it a listen, i'd love to hear what you think about it all and what your views are. post a comment on here and/or shoot me an email.

keep it real.
~jen~

my views on Velvet Elvis

ha - fooled ya :) i've decided i'm not going to give my views on Velvet Elvis on here and this is why. i thought the book was excellent. and i came across paragraphs in there that people have pulled out and pointed their fingers at, and i realized that if they had actually read the rest of the book, even just the chapter, they would realize they totally pulled the paragraph out of context. that's how rob bell speaks/writes. he'll be sarcastic. he'll think out of the box. he'll give a "what if..." but then come back to it and explain why that "what if..." could never be true. i think that's one reason he's so often misquoted and misunderstood.

so i've decided i won't go into much discussion about the book with people unless they have read it in it's entirety. if you've read it, awesome - i'd love to discuss it with you, even if you thought it was a horrible book. actually, i welcome those kinds of discussions. i know my mind is finite and i have an extreme lack of knowledge :) that's why i want people to read the book so i can get other's views on it. i'm more than open to discussing problems people have with the book that i may have overlooked or not caught on to - as long as they've read the book in it's entirety. and i don't know if i'm spelling that word right, but it looks good enough.

i will say this. the book has challenged me to look at how i live my life and who i'm living it for. it's challenged me to know my Savior more, to be like Him, to live my life as close to His as possible. now if there's something wrong about that, i would have to whole heartedly disagree with you. violently. haha okay just kidding on the violently part :)

keep it real.
~jen~

oh yes, and i would like to give a shout out to my favorite brother because it's his birthday and i love him so much! i doubt you'll ever see this, bro, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDY!

who are you? part 2

i continued reading the end of Job today. it's such a humbling read. it reminds me just how small i am and how NOT in control i am. and how often i get in the mindset of "oh i have everything under control, life's going great" or the opposite where i worry worry worry about life's trials. i fail to acknowledge that God knows infinitely more than i do, He knows what's going on, and there's not 1 single thing i can fully control. i love also how God points out animals to Job and says "look at how much time and care i put into them - and they're animals. how much more do i care for you!"

on another topic, i love this song by Shane & Shane called "I Miss You". it's a song about those times when you don't set aside time to spend with the Lord and you feel farther away from Him. the song's about yearning for the Lord, to be close to Him again. a few of the lines go like this:

"Oh - i miss You so...it feels like forever.

Oh - the taste i know...it hurts to remember.

i had a fleeting thought this morning. and i mentioned You today.

it breaks my heart, just to know You in part.

not to be with You, where You are..."

good song. :)

keep it real.

~jen~

who are you?

i read job 38 tonight. i absolutely love the end of job where the Lord responds to Job. there's just something extra like...powerful when you read something that's straight from God (like i know the whole Bible is God's Word, but you know what i mean :) ). i love how God just like...puts Job in his place. "Who are you to question me? Were you there when I created the earth and commanded the ocean and created it's limits?" and He goes on and on, totally putting Job in his place. and it opens your eyes to a glimpse of just how powerful and mighty our God is. and it's just a tiny glimpse. so often i fail to acknowledge God's hand in His creation around me.

time to hand the computer over to k-1o and t so they can practice hip hop moves :)

keep it real.
~jen~

a quick update

i am almost completely over my cold! i accidently OD'ed (minorly) thursday night on cold medicine. i took dayquil at like, 9pm while i was at jodi and benton's house, went home and took tylenol flu/cold nightime 3 hours later at midnight (mistake #1 - i think you're supposed to wait like, 6 hours after taking dayquil before you take something more). woke up around 3:45am and popped in a couple tylenol flu/cold daytime pills, woke up at 6:50 for class and could barely walk straight :) whoops. friday morning is such a fog to me. benton drove me to class, met me after class & we got coffee and she sat me outside in the sun while she ran into her work for a minute. then she dropped me back off at the hotel where i crawled back into bed and slept a couple hours. by mid-afternoon i was over the medicine hangover and had an awesome time with my girls friday night at laura's. SO great to be back at school with them!

i think i might have pinkeye now in my left eye. and i have some odd knots on the side of my head beneath my ear...which i'm hoping is just like, swollen glands saying "hey, we're knocking that cold out for ya, so take it easy". so the left side of my head kinda feels like it's falling apart. that's okay, i always liked my right side better. just kidding. :)

our house has a couple kitchen cabinets put in and the walls have been primed. kristen said last night they were starting to paint, so i'm going to stop by after my theology class tonight and see what's been done. pray that we'll be able to move in this weekend!

i've been going to a hip hop dance aerobics class monday, tuesday, and thursday nights here on campus - it's free! and the girls are having a hip hop dance instructor (she's a freshman in college, but she's amazing) choreograph a dance for them to try out for the variety show and i decided i'd atleast go to the practices and learn some things (i don't plan on doing the show, but who knows). so we have that sunday afternoons for a couple hours and wednesday nights after church.

i re-applied at j crew yesterday (finally). that felt good to finally do it, even though it's not my 1st choice for work. they called me back today and i go in thursday to take an assessment test to see if i need to go thru training again. kristen passed it, so i'm hoping i pass. :) i think i'll like my work schedule a lot more this year because every time i work i'll be done by 5 or 6 at the latest, which leaves all my nights free (for working out & footba...i mean...homework, of course). i'll probably be working 4 hours on tuesday, 8 on thursday and 8 on friday.

and after your 1st year at LU, you have to do 20 hours of christian community service each semester. i finally found one that fits with my schedule! :::drum roll please::: i'll be helping out at the LU boy's hockey team games! hahaha :) LU's building an ice rink here on campus for them, but for now they're still playing at like...11:45pm on saturday nights in roanoke, which is about a 45 minute drive. most people don't get home 'til 3 or 4 in the morning :) but hey, benton's doing it too and it works in my schedule, so i think it'll be fun.

i think that's all to update people on for now. however, if there is a specific topic of interest that i did not cover, please submit your questions in the comment area.

HA

keep it real.
~jen~

delay of posting

you guys who read this are the best :) ya'll responded to my last post even though it didn't have a lot of meat to it, but you still read it and responded - aww :) there's more coming, but i got hit hard by a stupid cold that is taking over our campus :P watch for some posts on tuesday.

keep it real.
~jen~

the heart

please open your Bibles to the book of Luke, chapter 8, verses 4-15.

hahaha okay just kidding, i just wanted to see how it felt to sound "authoritative" like speakers do :) i'm done now, i've got it out of my system.

today we'll be talking about the heart.

HA - okay, for real, i'm done. on to just being real ---

i'm sure most anyone who reads this is familiar with the passage in Luke 8 where Luke relays the parable Jesus told about the sower. a farmer scatters his seed and the seeds fall on 4 different types of soil? if you're not trekkin' with me yet, go get your Bible and skim thru the passage again.

the seeds fall on 4 different types of soil/terrain and it represents 4 different types of hearts that hear the Gospel.

Heart #1 - the hard heart.
this is the 1st type of heart, mentioned in verse 12. they hear the Word but the devil comes and takes the Word away from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. the hard heart is typically easy to identify in people. a lot of times it's because they've become calloused to the Word thru certain situations (parents professing to be Christians yet are abusive and/or hypocrites; witnessing a church splitting; hurt by relationships).

Heart #2 - the shallow heart.
comes from verse 13. those who hear the Gospel and receive it excitedly at first, but quickly fade away when a time of testing comes because their faith is not rooted in the Word. clayton king (the speaker) brought up a very real point - "rededication" of hearts has become a cure-all pill for sin. some people rededicate their lives time after time because they don't actually repent of their sins. i agree with him on that, but he also made it clear (and i want to, to) that rededication isn't necessarily bad - it can be a very real, very life-changing thing ---> as long as it is coupled with repentance of sin and turning from the sin. it seems that the shallow heart would most oftened be found in people who have an emotionally-based faith. they get all pumped up for awhile, but then the excitement fades and they drift away. the truth is - it's human nature to let the excitement fade. if you're not eagerly seeking after God, if you're not making a whole-hearted attempt to be nearer to God, when that excitement fades, it's going to be hard to keep going. our faith needs to be authentic, it needs to be real, it needs to be deep.

Heart #3 - the crowded heart.
found in verse 14 (and the vice is squeezing harder on my head right now, so if it seems like i'm wrapping this up quick and not explaining myself, i'm sorry and i'll come back and edit this if i need to:) oh the not so-joys of getting sick). this is the heart that accepts the Word and goes along great for awhile, but then finds itself crowded with things. it essence, it's being too busy for Jesus. packing our day-to-day lives so full of activities (including the danger of doing too many ministries) that we don't make time to spend with our Savior each day, getting to know Him more. if you find yourself often late, rushing around, and/or constantly trying to please people, this might be you. the clincher - Jesus doesn't want to be 1 god out of many in your heart. He wants to be the ONLY God.

Heart #4 - the open heart.
the heart we should all be aiming to have. verse 15. it's the heart that hears the Word, retains it, and produces a crop (share the Word with others). it's the heart that desires to be immediately obedient to Christ. it's the heart that posseses true brokeness & humility before the Lord.

so now it's inventory time. figure out what kinda of heart you have. personally, i feel like certain parts of my heart go into different categories, if that's possible. my goal then, is to have my whole heart in that 4th category. it's not an easy thing to do because of my human nature, but it IS possible.

a multi-posting day

i think today should be a multi-posting day :) i want to recap/summarize the messages that clayton king gave over the past few days of our "spiritual emphasis" week here at school. but i know if i do 1 super-long post, attention spans quickly fade away :) so i'm going to do a few posts i think (that's the plan - who knows what'll really get done today) and you just come read a post at a time when you get the urge.

i woke up today with my throat a little sore and my head feeling like a big ball of lead. i had some coffee and that cleared it up a little but the thickness is starting to come back again. sad. i hate getting sick, and what's even worse is when you're at the very beginning stages of getting sick and you know that when you go to bed tonight, you're going to wake up tomorrow feeling even worse. maybe i'll just stay up all night. oh yeah, now THAT would fix it :P

i attempted to make coffee a couple nights ago here in the hotel with the coffee maker they give you. it didn't work. like, it did...eventually, once i turned the stupid thing off. it was the slowest coffee maker i've ever seen, so i finally decided to just pull the plug on it and go to starbucks. i come home later that night, and see the coffee decided to brew itself while it was turned off. it's still sitting in the pot. it's being punished.

i spent the night last night with tara down on the 2nd floor in her & kristen's room 'cause kristen was gone for the night. sadly, i left my cell phone in their room and both of the girls are at class. i've always admitted that without my phone, i feel lost. and today, that's just how i feel. lost. out of touch. unable to communicate with fellow offsprings.

i love my girls i get to live with this year! i loved my girls last year, too! man, God gives me so many blessings i don't deserve, and great girls for roommates is one of them. i CAN'T WAIT to move into our house and settle in and get to all live together...all on the same floor :) and we'll get to have a huge living room and a kitchen and a yard and a deck and a front porch - all instead of inviting each other to come hang out with us in our hotel rooms :)

living in the hotel isn't SO bad. i just get discouraged 'cause i have a lot of down time right now and if i had my computer set up, i could be editing wedding videos and getting those done. so it's like...i have stuff i need to do, i just can't right now.

i'm talking to 2 guys online from back home that i used to be really good friends with and both of them strayed for the Lord for a couple years but are now turning their lives around. it's so encouraging to talk to them and hear what God's doing in the lives! they're both guys i had been praying for, and to see God answer prayer so clearly - it's awesome :D

"filled with wonder. awe-struck wonder. at the mention of Your name. Jesus, Your name is power - breath, and living water. such a marvelous mystery!

Holy, Holy, Holy! is the Lord, God Almighty. Who was and is and is to come. with all creation i'll sing. praise to the King of Kings! You are my everything - and i will adore You!"

- from a song, but i don't know the name of it. it's so beautiful though.

keep it real.

jen

strangeness in the night

another random story.

ah-hem.

last night (this morning?) at 2am i woke up to an earpiercing "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!" my first thought was "man, my alarm's going off already? that was a short night of sleep" - then i quickly remembered i don't have an alarm that goes BEEP BEEP BEEP. then i realized it was the fire alarm going off. now, if you're anything like me, when you hear a fire alarm you think "great, another drill." so i got out of bed and looked out the eye hole in the door to see if people were actually evacuating. sadly, they were. so i grabbed my phone, purse, and room key and headed outside and found kristen and tara. we had to wait outside until the firemen got there and inspected everything. and what do ya know, nothing was wrong. i know fire alarms have saved people's lives, but they sure are annoying when they go off for no reason.

about 20 minutes later, we got to go back in and get back to our horizontal state.

and so concludes my excitement for the night.

living on the edge

i took a step over the edge today. i went against all my parents (well...okay, just my mom) taught me over and over growing up. i rebelled today. i gave in to temptation.


yes. i drank straight out of the orange juice carton.


(the crowd gasps)

revived

ahhh - i have that peace tonight that i've felt many times before but hadn't felt it for a little while. the peace of knowing that whatever circumstances i find myself in, God is good, He is in control, and He's simply just...amazing. the joy of just sitting and thinking about Jesus and how awesome He is and what He's done for me. the awe that overwhelms me when i think of all the ways God continues to provide for me and knowing that He DESIRES me. man, it's a good feeling.

and it's exactly what i needed. imagine that - God giving me exactly what i need, when i need it - eh? :)

man, i wish it wasn't 11:30pm already or i would stay up and blog away! i am so stoked to be able to be at campus church once again...it's like a small taste of what heaven'll be like each time i go. tonight not only was the message challenging but the praise and worship was so beautiful. tonight was one of those nights where you could see God moving thru SO MANY people's hearts and it just gives you goosebumps and a big goofy smile on your face. man, i wish each and every one of you could be a part of our campus church each week. one of the most beautiful times tonight was when we were singing the song "Jesus' Blood (never fails me)" and the band suddenly started playing a lot softer and just let our voices fill the vine center and it was SO INCREDIBLE to hear people literally yelling, proclaiming the beautiful truth that Jesus' Blood never fails us. that fact alone has so many awesome promises to it. man...gave me chills :)

one of the beautiful truths i was reminded of tonight was that no matter where you are at in your walk with the Lord, it is never too late to just stop and say, "God - i feel distant from You, i have for awhile. i have questions, i have doubts, i have confusion. but i know You are Truth. i know You are Love. and i'm committing RIGHT NOW to pursue a deeper relationship with You." it hit me once again tonight that we often "talk" about needing to find answers and get back on track, and it's like we sit around waiting for God to "do something" or magically give us the answers we think we need in order to move on to a deeper, more passionate relationship with Him. one of the beautiful things about God is that He's ready for you when you come to Him, humble, broken, and longing to know Him more. longing to start your relationship over with Him again, in a sense. the time is now, make the decision to change and just do it. stop sitting around hiding behind the guise of confusion, stop picking up every "10 steps to a deeper relationship with God" book you see at the bookstore, and simply spend time with God. talk to Him. listen. be still.

amazing night, only because of an amazing God.

more to come.

keep it real.
~jen~

from hotel to basement to hotel to...?

oh praise the Lord! i turned on my laptop today in my hotel room to write up a blog and save it to post when i go to the computer lab tonight, and TA-DA! i got a beautiful little message on my screen saying "wireless network detected"!!!!!!!!!!!! the girls told me there wasn't internet here, but there sure is! it's $3.99 for access and it's a one time fee for your entire stay - definitely worth it.

SO...as you probably gathered by now, i'm back in a hotel room. i can see the north campus of LU outside my window, which is cool i guess. and it's a really short drive to class :) we're staying here 'til friday and then moving. to where? well...we don't really know right now :) our house is "supposed" to be ready on Friday for us to move into. so hopefully that will be our destination. if it's not ready, we'll move into an apartment or house to rent for a month because even if we're just there a few days (or more, for that matter), the rent for a month will be cheaper than having 2 rooms at this hotel for even 1 week.

so since i just "happened" upon the internet here, maybe i should go walking around and maybe i'll "happen" upon a pool...with palm trees and a wave pool with free surfboards to use.

man, thank you guys so much for the encouraging comments :) whenever i'm sitting in my room and start feeling down and about to lose my mind, things you guys said pop into my mind and it helps me keep a better perspective on things.

this is going to be just an update post on what i've been up to since i haven't been able to keep up on the posting. i'm still working thru the Velvet Elvis book and have a lot of thoughts to put down. which'll be so much easier with this newly discovered internet access :D even though blogging is common these days, i still feel stupid for pulling up my blog in the computer lab and typing up a post with everyone around :)

saturday we got up at 6am to go to virginia beach for ECSC (east coast surfing championship). we checked the weather and thunderstorms were forecasted so we didn't know whether to go or not. we decided to go back to sleep and get up at 9 and see if the ECSC website had been updated to let us know if the contest was still on. it wasn't updated, but we all wanted to go so bad that we ended up leaving at 10am and got there around 2:45pm. just in time to catch the last couple hours of surfing!! it didn't rain at all while we were there, but it was overcast so we didn't get much (if any) color. that's okay, it was so much fun!

then sunday we went to roanoke after church to go shopping with a ton of girls from our hall last year. SO much fun!!!! it was so great to be back with so many of the girls. we had a special hall last year, and it feels like a family reunion when we're together :) last year was great 'cause there was like...no drama whatsoever on our hall - just the way i like it. ;)

we're getting some remanants of the hurricane (katrina) today. maybe just dark clouds, but it finally stormed for a tiny bit about an hour ago. then the sun broke thru and i thought it was going to clear out, but it's dark again. crazy weather.

becky - this len overton guy must be really bored at work - he keeps calling me and asking me when you'll return his belongings to him. (inside joke)

well i'm so excited to be on the internet, so i'm going to go read YOUR guys' blogs and surf the web a little. then it's off to hip-hop dance aerobics class at 8! rock on :)

deeper thoughts coming soon.

keep it real.
~jen~

homeless

so...in a few days i will be homeless. my residence will be at the extended stay hotel just down the road from school. really trying to learn how to be content in any and all circumstances. :)

our house will probably not be ready for another 2-3 weeks. some people think 4 weeks. that's a month. that's approximately 30 1/2 days. or something like that. one of the most frusterating things is that the past 2 days i've driven by our house multiple times and all times, no one was working on it. that's frusterating.

i was living with jessica & jodi, they live in an older couple's basement. the couple noticed i was staying the night so they asked the girls what was up and they told 'em why i was there. they were cool with that, but they said they might ask me to pay them something to stay. so i'm thinking, "oh yeah, for utilities - that's cool, understandable. maybe like, $25 or something". today they told jess they'd like $150. let's see...stay at the hotel for free (the landlord is paying to put the girls up) or pay $150? not a hard decision. i'm sad, 'cause it was nice to be in a home and atleast try to feel like it was my place and settle in. now i'll be living in a hotel with hardly any of my stuff (it's all in storage here) and feel like i'm on a trip...and taking classes while i'm on it. i'm going to miss living with jess & jodi :( we're going to VA beach this saturday for ECSC (east coast surfing championship - same one we went to last year) - that'll be awesome!

classes started today. this was the first day of school i've ever had where i went without any supplies. i kinda forgot to go get notebooks/folders/binders with all the craziness of my living situation. so i brought a piece of computer paper to write on :) and after my first class i had just enough time to run to target and grab a notebook and folders.

so, God's really showing me how to be content with every situation right now. tonight at campus church, rob jackson talked about how we get so uncontent (discontent?) with our lives and things in our lives, but look at what Paul went thru and he was content. take that, jen.

well i'm at boonie's place on campus (our same apartment from last year! oh, fun memories!) drinking coffee and catching up on things on the internet (we don't have internet at the girl's house). i'm hoping at the hotel i have internet access so i can keep in touch with people more (although i DO have a cell phone...).

alright, i'm out.

keep it real.
~jen~

chic-fil-a ain't that grand

me and my parents picked up chic-fil-a today since we don't have it back in michigan. so here i sit, about 45 minutes later, feeling the chicken re-organizing itself and threatening to cause a revolt inside my stomach. boo on chic-fil-a.

i'm listening to my new mp3 player that i got for a stinkin' good deal off www.woot.com - very cool.

the chicken is firing it's first round of attack. i must go fight.

keep it real.
~jen~

transitioning

sorry for the lack of updates this week. lots of stuff going on in the mind/heart, but not having time to post! i'm in a hotel room right now, in the process of moving back to school. the house we are moving into isn't finished yet (it's being built) so things are kinda crazy right now and will be for the next couple weeks 'til the house is done and we can get settled in.

as i was driving through west virginia yesterday by myself, i was listening to Shane & Shane and singing along every now and then. but then i sensed God speaking to me, and really laying this on my heart - how many times do i listen to all these worship/praise songs and sing along out of habit and not really concentrating on what i'm singing? and i felt like God was saying, "listen, these songs are great and I'm honored when you sing them to Me from your heart, but can you just turn off the music for a little while and talk to Me?" at first i tried to justify keeping the music on, but the voice inside my head just kept saying "turn it off, just turn it off". so i turned it off and spent quite a bit of time riding thru those beautiful mountains talking & praying to God and it totally refreshed me, spiritually and emotionally. one (out of many) thing i love about God is that you can just talk to Him - you don't need some drawn out, elloquent prayer. just converse with Him. man, He blows my mind :)

sometimes i get stuck in the mindset of just "following the rules" of the Christian faith and forget that my God is a personal God who wants me to have a personal relationship with Him. He's the best friend that will never hurt you in any way, not in the smallest way, and not even once. and He DESIRES for you to know Him, He DESIRES for you to just spend time with Him, like you would with your best friends here on earth.

well my dad has "The Terminal" on and i'm wiped, so i'm going to wrap this up. i'm stoked to see and experience God move thru lives here at Liberty this year, and i'm just as stoked to hear about how God is moving thru my friend's lives back home.

Jesus is what? Jesus is awesome!

keep it real.
~jen~

alone on the beach

some people honestly feel sorry for you when you tell them you went to the beach by yourself. i don't know why, because obviously you aren't being forced to go - it's your choice to get in your car and drive there :) so as a disclaimer, don't feel even a hint of sorryness for me for the following story, because i'm just telling you what i did tonight and i'm not looking for pity because there's absolutely no need! now on to my post...

man, tonight at church just really...well, it made things even worse for me in my struggle with church/beliefs/etc.. everything i've been reading in this velvet elvis book was spoke against tonight. which would have been great if i hadn't been agreeing with what rob bell says in his book. that's the problem. i'm reading his book and thinking "wow, you know...i think he has some good stuff here" and then go to church tonight and hear that all that stuff is dangerous, horrible stuff. real smooth, jen. the confusing part is, i still agree with what rob bell says right now. the hard part is knowing that the majority (if not everyone) in my church family disagrees with it severely. so who's right?

from what was said at church, however, it sounds like the accusations were based off of quotes pulled out of context from bell's book. that's something i've realized a lot as i'm reading this book - rob bell is probably one of the most misquoted men alive. seriously. you have to know his way of speaking/communicating. sometimes he says things to the extreme in a sarcastic manner. sometimes he has a point he's trying to make and if you just take 1 paragraph out of his chapter explaining his meaning, yeah, he sounds horrible. but when you read what he's really saying behind that one paragraph, everything changes. one of those quotes is where rob bell says he can't see how people can believe in "Scripture alone". :::anti-bell-ers gasp::: yeah, sounds bad, huh? well if you read the rest of what he's saying in the chapter, he explains that the reason you can't have just "Scripture alone" is because along with Scripture, you have to have people interpreting what everything says. think about it. you don't read the new testament and take everything word for word, do you? if you say you do, and you're a woman, i would assume you keep your head covered when you're worshipping then, right? well you must, because in 1 Corinthians 11 it says all women should have their heads covered in worship. HOWEVER - people have interpreted that to mean it applied to that certain group of people that Paul was writing to, and women these days don't need to do it. it's an interpretation. yes, God's Word is sufficient - but we interpret and take meanings out of it and do not take everything literal, word for word. that is what bell is meaning by saying you can't have just "Scripture alone" as people say. because automatically, people add their own views/opinions/interpretations that they get from Scripture to base their faith off of.

am i making sense? does it make sense? is it wrong?

so it seems to me that the problem comes down to 1 of 2 things: either -
1, people against what bell teaches have not taken the time to read what he has said and to read the text surrounding his quotes, and if they did, they would affirm what he's saying,
or
2, these people really have honestly studied what bell says and he really is off and dangerous and yet...i'm falling for it.

if the answers 1, then i've got a whole lot of people to convince to read the rest of what bell's saying. if the answers 2, then i'm heading down a dangerous road that i don't want to be on but don't really see the dangerousness of.

and so comes the confusion. the boggled mindedness.

and so we come to the beach part. i went to grand haven tonight and go to the beach JUST in time to see the sun slip behind the clouds. what a beautiful sight! it's such an awesome sight that God creates uniquely each night. so i took my beach towel and Bible sat on the beach for a little bit reading and contemplating. i didn't come to any conclusion, but it was so great just to be at one of my favorite places (the beach), alone with God. i stayed out at grand haven for about 45 minutes, then headed back home. i love driving in my car by myself. 'cause i can sing and worship God and it's just me and Him in that car. there's really no conclusion to my night, so i'll just leave you with one of the songs that really reminded me of ultimately, what life is about:

"it's all about You, Jesus. and all this is for You. for Your glory and Your fame. it's not about me. as if You should do things my way. You alone are God, and i surrender to Your way."

so much more i could write, but since i don't even know what's right or wrong tonight, i'm just going to stop rambling right about..............

now.

keep it real.
~jen~

bogus comments

okay, so i can't figure out how to delete comments, i thought i had seen a way before. anyway, some stupid thing went thru and added bogus comments to a lot of my posts, so if it's posted by an "annonoymous" person, it's retarded and just ignore it.

anyone know how to delete comments?

back to reading velvet elvis.

keep it real.
~jen~

freedom of expression

i was laying in bed this morning listening to the radio while i was trying to motivate myself to get up and get ready for work. i can't remember what the dj's were talking about...oh yeah, one of them said his daughter was standing in front of her mirror and singing priase songs at the top of her lungs and couldn't care less who saw/heard, and the dj's talked about how much that changes when you get older and start to care what others think, and then one of the dj's says, "wouldn't it be great if you could go to church and be able to have freedom of expression? to be able to sing at the top of your lungs in joyful praise and have the freedom to express yourself and not worry about what others think?" the other dj pauses and responds solemnly, "...yeah..." they both had that tone that kinda seemed to say, "yeah it would be awesome if it was like that...we wish it could be...why can't it? it'll never be possible...". almost like hopelessness in people ever being able to freely express their praise to God in any given church worship service. realizing they didn't really have anything else to add to the topic, they quickly moved into another song.

man, that sure hit the nail on the head for a big frusteration i've been feeling :) "freedom of expression" - i like that.

back to work.

keep it real.
~jen~

quick update

i did it. last night, i went out and bought the velvet elvis book. i justified it by using a 25% off coupon :) so i didn't pay full price. hey, it saved me almost 5 dollars! that's a couple lunches with large cokes.

the book's easy to read 'cause rob bell is such a good speaker/communicator. i'm on the 2nd chapter and i'll just say it's a very interesting read so far. i'll post more later...when i'm not on work's time :)

leann and valerie - thanks for the responses! i'll respond tonight after work (responding to a response from your blog?...that just sounds funny - haha)

keep it real.
~jen~

quoting out of context?

i'm reading a book (okay, so i'm "reading" a few books...but this one i'm really reading and i'm going to finish it :) ) by John MacArthur called Fool's Gold. it's kinda about the things that are catching on in the modern church and how to spot error among Truth. that's a bad summary of it though, go google it and read the description :)

ANYWAY, there IS a point to this post. one of the chapters examines the "Purpose Driven Life" book. a very interesting argument came up that i had never heard before, but now i'm really curious about it. i guess rick warren quotes a lot of 1-liners from the Bible and uses them to go along with what he's saying? i've never read the book, i'm just going by the examples this Fools Gold book gives. and macarthur says that that is quoting the Bible inaccurately just to support warren's views. at first, i'm like "well yeah, it is wrong to just take a phrase out of Scripture and use that to argue your point". but then macarthur says that some people argue that the apostles, and even Christ, pulled 1-liners out of the Old Testament to make some of their points...which is true. i wouldn't say "pulled" though, i would say..."quoted". now, obviously they had a right to do that because the New Testament is the Word of God and It is inspired so it's not like they were wrong to do that. but then the question arises - why do people these days who quote a phrase from the OT get hammered by some people for taking things out of context? is it wrong?

the only reason i can think of right now that it'd be wrong is because we aren't the apostles and our sermons/messages/whatevers aren't directly given by the Holy Spirit. well, they can be, but like...you know what i mean? :) we don't have the same authority that the apostles had in their writing. is that a valid point? and is that the only point that backs up stating that it's wrong to quote things from the OT?

one passage that some people (mainly baptists...and i don't know why that is, maybe it just seems like it 'cause i usually only talk about things like this with my friends and people i'm around...who are mainly all baptists) really give people a hard time on is when someone quotes Jeremiah 29:11 which says:

"11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

www.biblegateway.com

there is so much truth to that passage and even though God is saying it to...shoot...the Israelites? i could be wrong, but He's saying it to a specific people group. :) but is it not true that God has a plan for each of our lives? is it not true that God only has our best in mind? to say that we can't claim that passage as Truth for our lives is...man, i don't know, it just doesn't seem correct to say that.

alright, my break time ended a little bit ago, i gotta get back to work. thoughts, opinions, views, definitely welcome. i also accept money donations into my paypal account.

:D (BIG smile)

keep it real.

~jen~

question for the day

a question for you guys - post your opinion (ooh how fun! look, it's interactive!)

what do you think is more important - a church that has a huge outreach and produces many weak (new) Christians and a few strong Christians or a church that has little outreach and produces few new Christians but produces a large amount of strong Christians?

in other words, i guess it can be summarized by saying this - is it better to focus on getting people saved or better to concentrate on giving saved people head knowledge?

this question came up in a conversation i had last night, just curious to see what people's thoughts are.

keep it real.
~jen~

in search of a free Velvet Elvis

now that's an odd title, eh?

i want to read Rob Bell's new book Velvet Elvis so bad. like, incredibly bad. i just don't want to spend money on it 'cause i've heard a ton of criticism about it. so i feel like i'm contributing to his cause if i buy it, and as much as i've tried to defend Bell and Mars Hill, the danger signs just keep piling up against them. therefore, not really sure what this book is going to have in it, i don't want to support it with my money if it does indeed contain tons of danger signs in it.

my sister left me a voicemail this week saying her mother-in-law sent them down a copy of it and she absolutely LOVES the book. that makes me want to just give in and pay for the book, so i can read it for myself. i'll probably just end up forking over the money for it.

i knew when this book hit the stores it would either cause a huge debate surrounding it or it would be an amazing book that would catch a lot of attention and then be considered another "purpose driven life" or "prayer of jabez" - where if a book is super popular among Believers, it MUST be bad :) i've never read either of those books though, so i can't really give my opinion on them.

sorry if this post is kinda like...repeating itself and jumbled together. it was a short night last night and my dog started my day on a bad side by peeing right next to my bed...while i was still in bed. how pathetic is it when your dog can put you in a bad mood? haha :) trying to wake up with coffee...

oh yeah, 1 more thing. what was really cool was i found out gabe is reading the same book i'm reading about the emergent church, and it's a really hard book to read 'cause the dude's like - super smart and writes really like...smartly. :) so hopefully gabe can tear though it a little better than me and summarize the parts i don't understand (...which will probably be atleast half the book). AND i found out last night that ben vz has studied a lot on the emerging church and stuff, so now i have 2 people i can ask questions to! that's cool 'cause before, hardly anyone had heard of the emerging church movement and i was trying to study it on my own and i'm not really smart so i wasn't getting that far in my "studying" of it. but it's a movement that i know is going to all of a sudden explode and i want to know what i believe about it so i don't get caught up in it. and i'm afraid i already am a little, i'll admit.

keep it real.
~jen~