community – transparency

I was having coffee with some friends the other day and we were laughing about one friend’s interesting morning visiting a new church.  he had met this man and soon after starting a conversation with him, the man pulled up his shirt and started showing my friend his scars and telling him stories.  needless to say, it provided an awkward yet interesting situation.  :)

it reminded me of when I was in Norway a couple years ago.  I was in Norway for a few weeks as part of my YWAM DTS outreach.  part of our group was serving at this one church while we were there, and one evening we were hanging out at the church’s café talking with people.  this guy, Sven, comes over to our table and starts joining in our conversation and all was going well until I asked about one of his tattoos on his arm.  it was of a scorpion and, having lived where scorpions are huge and disgusting, I was intrigued by why he would want a scorpion on his arm.  he said something about how he just liked them, and before I knew it, he had taken his shirt completely off to reveal a myriad of tattoos all over his body – eager to tell me about each tattoo.  so here I am, sitting in a church café with a shirtless, tattooed guy standing in front of me.  some might consider the situation awkward.  I would confirm that yes – it was, indeed, very awkward.  not wanting to offend the guy, I tried to act interested in his tattoo stories even though inwardly I was hoping someone would come to my rescue.  thankfully, before too much time had passed, another guy from the church came over and told Sven he needed to put his clothes back on – and then apologized on behalf of his friend. :)

though both of these situations were humorous, they also made me think.

church so often becomes this place where we wear our good clothes and put on our masks each week to try and show that everything’s fine.  we try to hide our dirt, our wounds, our scars.  we run into someone from church at the grocery store and hope they can’t tell we totally just lost our patience on someone or had just been having an emotional breakdown only minutes before getting to the store.  why do we feel like we need to pretend everything is always fine, instead of being real & acknowledging that we are human?

I think we try to hide our wounds & our scars because we see them as signs of our weakness.  we’re afraid that if anyone actually knew we had these hurts, these struggles – they wouldn’t accept us.  all the while, each one of us has our own share of wounds.

there is something profound about being transparent with other Christ-followers about our realness.  it can be ugly.  it can be painful.  it can feel awkward & embarrassing.  but when we live real, transparent lives with each other, we are reminded that we’re not alone in this journey of life.  relationships go deeper.  friends come along side you and say, “hey – you don’t have to walk thru this valley alone.”

I believe Jesus often uses community to bring healing and maturity to each of our lives.  we encourage one another.  we pray for one another.  we serve one another.  we give to one another. we challenge one another.  and yes, in love, we even confront one another when necessary.

but it is only when we are transparent with our wounds, scars, hurts, & struggles that real, life-giving community takes place.  and it is a beautiful thing.

love God.  love people.  and be real.