finding rhythm

hello, blog.  I have neglected you for a couple weeks.

I was in florida working and visiting family/friends for a couple weeks, then came back out here and went straight to a weekend high school retreat, followed by Thanksgiving week and the change of pace that brings.  now I’m starting to get my feet back on the ground.

this week I am trying something new.  I’m trying to stop striving.

yes, that means I lay in bed all day long and sleep and do nothing.

NO!  come on now.  anyone who knows me knows I’ve got way too much energy to stay in bed all day!!!  yes, I can turn the energy switch off when I need to (like when I greeted my brother-in-law at 6 in the morning with an ecstatic “HI!  Welcome to Tuesday!!” and he gave me the stink eye), but inwardly I am almost always a combusting party of excitement just waiting to burst out.

wow, back on track.  this always happens.  squirrel.  what?  ok, no, keep focus…

this week, I am trying to take a break from trying to be everything to all people.  meaning, usually if someone asks me to do something or do work for them, I readily accept it.  I have been reminded time and time again lately that by saying “yes” to one thing, you are saying “no” to other things.  and that’s ok, if you’re saying “yes” to what is in line with what you feel God is calling you to do.  I made a list last week of the commitments I currently had made to people, and realized there’s not a cohesiveness between the things – they’re going all different directions and only a few went along with the direction I am feeling God pulling me to pursue.

meanwhile, I get stressed out, strung out, and find myself going from early in the morning to late at night like a hamster on steroids.

this week, I am working on finding a rhythm.  a way of doing life that allows me to get done what needs to be done, yet allows for more time for what really matters.  I fully believe that what matters in life comes down to God and other people.  it does not matter how much money I make.  it does not matter what car I had (although you must admit, Zeva is one sweet ride).  it does not matter whether or not my furniture matched and looked trendy.  it does not matter whether I appeared to have everything all together or not.
life comes down to God and how I am loving and serving others for His glory.

so this week I have been trying to slow down and not worry about what I didn’t get done the day before.  taking time to talk to people when I see them and not being in a spastic rush to get something done.  I went for a run and ended up walking for a good chunk at the end – simply because I realized I didn’t need to impress anybody and I didn’t need to prove anything to myself.  and guess what?  I enjoyed the grace that I gave myself!!  and yesterday, I took like 20 minutes to read in the afternoon with a cup of coffee and it was very delightful.  :)

I have been reading through Psalm 119 this week and I am loving it.  it stirs up within me a refreshed desire to know God’s Word, to take more time to study it and to cherish it.  when we follow His Word, it brings freedom (Ps. 119:45).  quite often, people think being a “Christian” means following a bunch of rigid rules and looking like a constipated water rat.  but in reality – being a Christ-follower means living in freedom – freedom to dance and rejoice in unending grace and unfailing love!

on a slightly different but kind of the same note: this song started playing on my iTunes this week and I thought I’d share it.  I wrote this last May when I was out at the ranch for a weekend.  Paul, Meghan, and I did a rough recording of it this summer and that’s what this is.

You Will Remain – click to hear it
Holy Spirit, fill me with desire for Jesus
Illuminate Your magnificence
That everything else would fade away
That everything else would fade away
You alone are deserving of all my affection
You alone are deserving of all of my praise
You alone are worthy of all of my worship
On the throne You will remain
Holy Spirit, cause my heart to hunger for Jesus
Captivate my mind
Without You, God, this life is not worth living
I need You – I need You by my side