evolution of standards

a random observation of sorts:

when I was little, “dressing up” meant wearing a dress – and for me, I only did that when I had to.

when I was in high school, “dressing up” meant wearing a skirt – and again, I only did that when I had to.

when I was in college, “dressing up” meant wearing a pair of nice pants and something other than a t-shirt or hoodie.

and now, today I realized “dressing up” has evolved once again for me.  currently, “dressing up” means changing out of my favorite pair of sweat pants and putting jeans on.  and wearing a nice zip-up hoodie.

ahhhh – livin’ the dream!  :)

the un-named post

I keep changing the title of this post.  I title it, then write the 1st sentence.  then I stop and decide I want to write about something else.  so I erase the sentence, erase the title, and start over…and this process keeps happening right now so I’m just un-naming it and seeing where it goes from there.

I’m back out West, continuing with Continuous Worship ministries.  lovin’ life.  I just realized I haven’t posted since flying back out here.  there’s so much I could cover.

my birthday was a couple weeks ago – and if you didn’t know that, I consider that as a successful mission.  I don’t like celebrating my birthday.  that’s just how it is.  so I don’t broadcast that it’s my birthday.

ok but the point of me acknowledging that my birthday was a couple weeks ago – it marked a 1 year anniversary of the first time I ever led worship in my life.  last year at this time, I was in Skien, Norway with my YWAM DTS.  on my birthday, we were leading a youth group that night and I led 2 or 3 of the songs that night.  I had finally decided to surrender my fears to God and trust in His strength to use the gifts He’s given me.

and the year since that night in Norway has been incredible.  it has been hard.  it has been rough.  it has been uncomfortable.

…and it has been amazing.

there is absolutely nothing like trusting God with your fears, your anxieties, your insecurities – and seeing how He works in and through you.  I fail.  a lot.  especially with fear and anxiety.  and insecurities.  but God’s grace is so sweet.  it is so much stronger than my weakest of weak moments.  His grace is forgiving.  His grace is loving.  His grace is overwhelming.

for so much of my life, up until this past year, I consistently told God “no” in the area of worship leading.  I consistently chose to fear man over fearing God.

did you know fear of anything but God is sin?  it is.  it’s blatant choosing to not trust God.

while I still struggle a lot with fear, I have seen God giving me more and more victory over this stronghold in my life.  it is absolutely nothing I’ve done by my own strength.  and again, I fail.  a LOT.  but I can’t begin to explain the amazing feeling of stepping out in faith and experiencing the strength of my God.  the God who holds the universe in His hands.  the God who created the sun in all it’s glory and splendor – and who Himself is infinitely more glorious and magnificent.

if you could be doing anything with your life, what would you be doing?  are you doing it?  if not, what’s stopping you?

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on a side note, today I did something I’ve never done in my life.  I played the drums during worship at church today…hahaha no for real, I did.  it wasn’t a full set of drums.  it was a kick, a snare, and a cymbal.  let me back up and share how it happened that I got thrown into drumming today…

last night at worship team rehearsal, Paul set up this set of drums.  normally we don’t have drums for the worship time at church – only because we don’t have a drummer.  we have a full drum set.  just no drummer.  so Paul was playing on them during the first part of rehearsal but then he jumped on my keyboard and so I jokingly asked if he wanted me to go play the drums.  …and he said yes.  so I sat down and started beating on the drums –

let me stop right there.  have you ever beat on drums before?  I’m tellin’ ya – instant happiness.  you can’t help but smile really big.

ok so I messed around on the drums the rest of the night, having fun just goofing around.  I don’t know how to play the drums.  a few people at different times in my life have taught me how to do just a simple beat but that’s my extent of drumming.  so needless to say, I really don’t know what I’m doing.  then at the end of worship team rehearsal, Paul asked if I wanted to play drums at church Sunday morning.  to which I laughed and totally thought he was joking.  and of course…he wasn’t.  because he’s Paul.  and he loves to throw people out of their comfort zone at high rates of speed.  but he also knows music.  he’s been leading worship a LONG time.  like, longer than I’ve been alive.  ok that’s a lie.  but still, he’s done it for a long time.  and as uneasy as I was about playing the drums Sunday morning, I knew I should choose to trust him and be willing to take an opportunity God was giving me.

it was so fun!!!!!!

ok ok ok – 1 more quick thing.  I’ve been playing the guitar for like 10 years now, but I’m not nearly where I should be after playing for 10 years.  but I’ve never been able to play and sing at the same time – I totally lose my rhythm and then my words get stuck and it’s just…an amazing train wreck.  so I don’t know what happened, but when I got back out West, suddenly I can play and sing at the same time!!!  this is a ginormous step!!!!

oh my goodness.  I could write forever.  I just finished the book Indescribable by Louie Giglio & Matt Redman and it was phenomenal.  I’ll write about it later so this post is forever long.

keep it real.

Into the Sunset

Currently on a non-stop flight from Fort Lauderdale to Denver. I love flying West on late afternoon/early evening flights. It's like you're chasing the sunset. The sunset lasts forever!! The sky still has orange, pink, and blue hues and it's been over an hour at least. Beautimous!! I picked this side of the plane because I knew I'd have the best shot of catching the sinking of the sun. We were stuck in clouds for a long time and I was so bummed that I missed the sunset. But them the sky above and the horizon opened up and brilliant colors filled the sky! The picture doesn't do it justice.

Today I rented a car to drive up to Fort Laudy. Totally the funnest car I've ever rented this far - and I've rented quite a few. A mini cooper!!! It was such a sweet ride over the bridges, thru the islands, with the sunroof open! Zoom zoom ;) I really wanted to go flying over the median and find some stair to drive down like in the movie "Italian Job" but I wasn't sure my insurance would cover it, nor would the police probably think it was a great idea.

Ok I ended the post but this flight is forever long and I'm not falling asleep at all so let's see what else comes out of Jen's ramblings at 35,000+ feet...

I barely made my flight today :) oops. I meant to be super early. It...just didn't happen. Story of my life. However, even though I went straight from security to standing line to load at the gate (literally - they were lined up when I got there), I still managed to get 1 comment about my guitar. This guy goes, "sweet guitar..." ... to which I said "thanks" but what I was really thinking was, "you can't even see my guitar, you gringo! It's in it's case! My case could be empty or filled with old napkins I saved from elementary school that my mom wrote notes on and stuck in my lunch every day!"

But I went with "thanks" instead.

I so almost pulled a Brian Regan today. As the guy at the ticket counter took my ticket, he goes, "have a nice flight!" and I came so close to saying, "You too!"...when you...fly next...next time you fly--have a nice flight...

I love my family so much and already miss them so much. This morning, Claire (4) was adamant that we needed to celebrate my birthday this morning (today is not my birthday). So at breakfast, she had Sadie stick a candle in a piece of banana on top of my piece of toast :) so cute.

Ugh. Turbulence. And the head starts spinning. Time to stop looking at the screen...

the cell phone: a bittersweet invention

I really like my cell phone.  I was 16 when I first got a cell phone.  it looked like a brick.  and I think it was one of those “prepay” ones where you only have so many minutes.  my parents got one for me because I had just started driving (in the winter…in Michigan) and had already been in 5 ditches.  annnnnd hit a mailbox.  :)  true story.  I would like to add that I took driver’s training in the summer and did all my driving with my permit pre-winter snow time.  so I was learning to drive on the snowy/icy roads by myself.  c’mon now.  give me some cred.

wait.  this post isn’t about my driving history.  getting back on track…

I’ve had a lot of cell phones since then, and I’ve had a “smart” phone for maybe 3 years now and honestly it would be really hard for me to switch back to an '”unsmart” phone (I mean – what else do you call them?  if there are “smart” phones, what do we call the other ones?").

wait.  this post isn’t about my current cell phone and how much I enjoy it.

andy, sadie, and I were talking the other day about how much TV some families watch.  and then we realized that – yeah, we don’t watch a ton of TV, but how much time do we spend looking at a screen?  whether it be the computer screen or more recently, our cell phones?

i carry my phone with me everywhere.  I’m constantly connected.  i have facebook, email, twitter, and all these social networking apps on my phone.  pretty much i can be reached at any given time thru various avenues of technology unless I’m out on the water or playing volleyball.  even when I workout, I have my phone strapped to my arm, listening to my music, which means if you call or text me, I still hear it.

I started thinking past week about how I often use my phone as a scape goat. this is what we do (and I say we, because I’ve done it so many times and I know you have to): we walk thru the aisles at the grocery store, talking on our phone, oblivious to the people we’re walking by.  I’ve sometimes done this too – if I’m walking past a sales person and I know they’re going to try and get my attention, I pull out my phone and start doing something on it as I walk by.  or standing in line at the store, waiting to pay, I’ll pull out my phone and check my email.  blocking out the people around me, minding my own business.

I wonder how many opportunities we miss because we are so connected to our cell phones.  I wonder how many sweet conversations we miss out on because we’re so consumed with our own social networking.

I went to Starbucks with a couple friends yesterday, up in Key Largo.  we were sitting outside, enjoying the cool 70ish degree weather and our drinks, catching up on what God was doing in our lives.  I noticed a couple who sat down near us.  they were super hip looking, probably in their late 20’s.  the entire time they sat there, they were each on their cell phones, doing who knows what.  I didn’t see them look at each other once or have any conversation.

this past week, I wondered what it would be like to turn my cell phone into a “land line” – meaning, I would leave it at home and the only time I would use it is when I’m at the house.  you know, kickin’ it old school when we only had land lines and people couldn’t reach us while we were out and about (I know, hard to comprehend now, right?).  or maybe i don’t have to go to the extreme.  maybe I could resolve to not answer calls or text people or even pull my phone out when I’m in a public place – instead, being intentional with my time and making intentional conversation with the random people I pass by.

today I went to the old 7 Mile Bridge after church just to soak in the beauty for a little bit.  I resolved to not pull out my phone unless it was to take a picture.  the “Hat Man” was there, set up with his hats and flowers he’d woven out of palm frons.  I’ve never stopped and talked to him before, though I’ve seen him many times.  so today, we talked.  and it was fun to hear a little bit about him and hear about his love for weaving these palm frons for people.

having a cell phone has so many benefits.  I just wonder if we’re missing out on something by always being connected.

cultural relevancy

I previously posted a quote from Bob Kauflin’s book, “Worship Matters”, that talked about the relevancy of Scripture, alluding to the fact that many pastors/speakers will quote movie lines, celebrities, or use jokes to fill their message and hardly any Scripture.

I was talking with my bro-in-law about it and he pointed me to this podcast … that I have no clue how to link to on here :)  it’s called the “Elephant Room” and it’s like a discussion between pastors.  I think if you pull up iTunes and search for Mark Driscoll + Elephant Room maybe it’ll come up.  it’s called Culture in the Church vs Church in the Culture.  one pastor’s worship team had played “Highway to Hell” to start off a service and the pastors were discussing with him his motives and idea behind using that song.

the podcast was really good, I’m processing thru what all was said.  one pastor brought up the interesting point that we send missionaries overseas to different areas where they are to learn the culture and how to share the Gospel with that culture and we call it “godly”; yet in the States, when we bring culture into the church, we call it “compromising”. 

all throughout Scripture, people (including Jesus Himself) referenced cultural things so that people could relate and understand.

yet at the same time, if we’re using something blatantly ungodly to reach culture, is that right?

the dude who used “Highway to Hell” in the service said that 1 guy told him later that God really got a hold of his heart through that song.  praise God for that!  however, one of the other pastors mentioned that a guy in his church came to know the Lord thru the death of his mom in a car accident – and said he wasn’t planning on getting into that business anytime soon…

this podcast made me laugh many times – only because the pastors are brutally honest and they’re not afraid to mix seriousness with humor.  but it’s also left me questioning where to draw the line.  I remember being in a service once of one of those “uber trendy” churches and they did a song by Kelly Clarkson right after beginning the service with worship.  and I was so distracted by the fact that they did a Kelly Clarkson song and I was focused so much on trying to figure out what in the world this song had to do with the message that I kinda feel like it caused more distraction than really driving home the message.  I have no idea what the message was about.

so…I have no conclusion as to what I think right now.  it’s not something Scripture seems to say “this is right – this is wrong” on.

hey – go listen to the podcast.  let me know your thoughts.

keep it real.