no title (ha - that’s a title)

mmmmm!!  I have seen and experienced God in so many tangible ways over the past week or so especially.  I am well aware, however, that God has always been at work – it’s just that now I’m seeking Him harder than ever before and tearing apart the box I’ve put Him in and am becoming more and more aware of His work.  but I have so far to go!!

today I gave my creative presentation and totally didn’t bomb it!!  PRAISE GOD!  it was supposed to be 2 weeks ago but it got postponed until today.  anyone who really knows me knows I had a horrible speech class experience in college and it greatly increased my already high hatred of public speaking.

this week’s teaching topic is the “Fear of the Lord” and God is really challenging me with this: do I fear man more than I fear God?  so often the answer is yes – I fear man more than I fear God.  I’d rather take the easy way out and disregard what God is asking me to do.

and so today, as I sat waiting to give my short presentation, I was battling and battling inside.  I started feeling like I might start losing it (I throw up, to summarize for anyone reading this that doesn’t know me very well).  I was fighting the urge to get up and get out of the classroom.  RIGHT before I went up, I finally yelled (in my head), “I WILL NOT GIVE IN TO THE FEAR OF MAN!  I CHOOSE TO FEAR GOD, NOT MAN!  I’M GOING TO DO THIS!”  seriously, if you were in my head at the time, you probably would’ve had to cover your ears because I yelled it so loud in there.

God has allowed for me to do this DTS.  did I hear Him audibly say, “GO!  Do this!”?  no.  but I feel like this is what He has called me to do right now.  and so since He has called me to do this DTS, that means doing everything that is involved with the DTS – including the 2 creative presentations.  I am going to honor Him and choose to rely on His grace to do these.

He is so strong!  I praise You, Abba, for Your strength!  Thank You for carrying me today!

tonight, Faith Bible Chapel had a thing called “Encounter” – it was a night of worship and a dude gave a short message. it was such a beautiful time of worshipping our awesome Savior and God.  I’m so glad I went.

oh how I yearn to know Jesus more!!  the best way to do that is to spend time with Him, just as I would a good friend that I wanted to get to know more.

I love being freed to worship my Jesus, my Savior, my God unashamedly and abandoned.

God speaks to us thru different means.  for me, I think He speaks to me most thru worship/music.

to top it off, I decided between dinner and Encounter I was going to go to Starbucks and treat myself to a soy chai latte.  Becca went with me and get this – I used my gift card (I got one when I came here and put $20/month it – oh my goodness, time OUT.  I was typing away and hadn’t saved this and all of a sudden my Norton thing popped up saying it needed to restart for updates and since I was typing, it selected to restart and it closed my blog and restarted!!  so I was praying it didn’t get erased – and it didn’t!  it recovered it!!  Praise Jesus!! 

ok ANYWAY – I had like $2 and some odd cents left on my gift card for the month of October (I haven’t reloaded it for November yet).  so I gave the girl the card and said it wouldn’t cover both our drinks but I’d use a credit card for the rest.  well she swiped it and said “oh – it doesn’t say there’s a balance left to pay, you’re good!” and I was like “…what?”  she had mentioned before that that she couldn’t reload my card because the computers were down.  so when I walked away and looked at my receipt, it said “gift card balance not available” … so I’m thinking I got free Starbucks tonight!!! hehehe YAY!

I am exhausted.  I’m skipping the gym in the morning.  don’t hate.  I’ll go friday and saturday.  5 days a week ain’t no shame.

oh that reminds me!!  ok nevermind, I’ll post it later – I’m so tired.

keep it real.
all GLORY to God!
-jen