Can't sleep

I can't fall asleep tonight. I've been trying for an hour and a half. Wide awake. Boooo.

I had an "off" day today. I don't like those - where no matter how hard you try, you just are off. Either physically or mentally or emotionally or spiritually - or all of the above.

Usually there's a reason. This week I have 3 presentations. 'Nuff said.

But while laying in bed tonight, I was listening to a Michael Gungor album and this song called "Filled with Glory" hit me.

For God to be glorified, for His strength to be shown in my weakness, there must be opportunities for Him to receive glory. This means opportunities for me to be weak. I can't say I want to live by faith by relying on God's strength, provision, and grace and then go live life safely. I have to be willing to risk. To be weak so that He can be glorified.


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Great question

So my aunt and uncle took Krystle and I to a sporting goods store to get me some snowboard pants. I was checking out and Krystle walked up to me and said something. Then the clerk (a young guy, 18 at most) said to her, "is that your real accent or are you just pretending to be British?"

HAHAHA!!! ...she's Australian.

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Lounging in Cheyenne

Rachel and Krystle :) Rachel doing her scary face - hehehe :)






And Aunt Toni picked up the Blind Side for me at Target for $3.99!! She's so brave - sacrificing her life to get great deals on Black Friday!



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Heart of Worship

the topic this week is Heart of Worship and Will & Erika Strickland are teaching.  I absolutely love this dynamic duo.  they are my favorite Stricklands ever.

yesterday and today Will taught.  soooo good!  he started off with teaching on the tabernacle and all the specifications for building it – normally, an easily boring topic.  however, he made it so interesting (plus he’s hilarious so that helps).  did you know that all the items and the things they were made out of represent Christ and man in some way??  oh my goodness – MIND BLOWING!  I have heard so many teachings on the tabernacle and nothing ever stuck.  I’m sure someone’s even taught me before that everything represents Christ in some way – it’s just that it finally made sense to me.  you hear things enough from enough people and eventually something sticks.  stick a fork in me, I’m DONE!    everything from the acacia wood to the colors to the number or things to the position of the altar on an elevated place…it all represents things.

and then there’s the HUGE grace factor that studying this stuff stirs up.  how thankful I am that God lets us come directly to Him now and worship Him and ask forgiveness without having to go thru all the procedures and protocols!  all because of Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice.  mmmm such grace abounds to us!

the second part of yesterday, he taught on Proverbs 4:23, which says something to the effect of “Above all else, guard your heart – for it is the wellspring of life” (Jen version, I can’t find the translation that words it that way right now).  each of our hearts is like a well.  shoot, I have to pack up and head back to the base but I’ll continue this later – it’s so gooooood!!!!

a new week

Holy Spirit week has ended.

teachings included how to speak in tongues and how to prophecy.  tuesday night we had a mandatory Holy Spirit party, Holy Spirit tunnel included for impartation.

because I try not to use my blog as a sound-off spot to deliver blows of criticism, and because I do not think I can talk about last week in a manner is Christ-like, I will keep my fingers restrained.

I tried to keep an open mind.  it wasn’t new to me (well, the Holy Spirit tunnel was) but I have studied numerous movements and such.

it’s a new week.  Praise Jesus.

top 60 – KA-CHOW!

so at the gym they track your workouts.  most machines have little screens you log into and they tell you how to set the machine and your goal and they count your reps and all.  then the program ranks everyone.  now, for some, that might carry no incentive for them to workout more.  for others, however, it only brings out their competitive edge. if I ever said I wasn’t competitive, I apologize – I lied.  I have learned that I am competitive.  to the point of checking the rankings a few times a week and pushing tons of weight the last few days in October so I could make the top 60 list.

I am a sick, sick person.

but a healthy, fit person. 

so, for the month of october, I ranked #51 out of the top 60 women for the most weight lifted!  YEAH BABY!  I think I did somewhere in the 123,000lbs range.  15 elephants, if I remember right.

so far this month, I’m #2 in my age range (females) for weight lifted.  and I think #54 out of all the women.

I like to move it, move it.  I like to move it, move it.

~jenny machado.

1 month left in Denver!!

4 weeks left here – YAY!  this week is Thanksgiving, so my aunt & uncle from Cheyenne are picking me and Krystle up Wednesday for the long weekend!  then I’ll just have 3 weeks left!  Dec. 20th we fly to Estonia, by way of Germany.  we have a 6 hour layover in Frankfurt, so we are getting to explore the city for about 4 hours!  here’s what our schedule tentatively looks like:

Dec. 20th – fly to Estonia (layover in Germany, explore Frankfurt)
January 2nd – take a bus to Latvia
January 12th – fly from Latvia to Norway (Skein)
February 4th – fly back to Denver
February 12th – FLY HOME!

I’ve heard outreach flies by, and I’m pretty sure the fact that we will be going to 3 different places will make it go by even faster.

I am so excited to get home!  I miss my family, my friends, the weather, beach volleyball, LPC, indoor volleyball, the water, the bridges, working out with friends, saturday afternoons floating in the pool at Bait Shack on giant floating bean bags with Tiff, the culture, Leigh Ann’s coffee shop, hammocks, giant bean bags (as in Shane’s), Zeva, fresh bananas, mangoes, kayaking, sweating, sushi, simple pleasures…just to name a few things (and in no particular order).

shoot, listing those things makes me even MORE longing to be back on the islands!

I am really excited for outreach, though.  Jae & Kevin (our leaders – um, they pretty much rock my face off), have made a point of making this outreach music-oriented.  we don’t know a whole lot of what we’ll be doing yet, but some things are doing music seminars, leading worship (we will split up into 3 or 4 teams and rotate around), doing a concert, and running youth camps.

I am so stoked that worship will have such a big part in this journey.  trying to focus on fearing God and not man.  I cannot wait to go on this adventure as I cling even more closely to God for His grace, strength, and power.  it is a battle already to not let fear and anxiety start bubbling up in me.  I will GREATLY appreciate your prayers while I’m on outreach!

thank you to EVERYONE who has been praying for me or even if you just prayed 1 little prayer for me or whatever – THANK YOU!  I can honestly say I’ve felt a difference. this journey with YWAM so far has been amazing and I am amazed at what God has done in me already.  it’s definitely been by His strength and not my own.

I’m going to do a few different posts tonight.

keep it real.
~jen

Holy Spirit Week

this week’s speaker topic is the Holy Spirit.

yesterday we spent most of class time learning about speaking in tongues.  then he had anyone who wanted to learn how to speak in tongues come to the front of the class and he prayed for them and then they all practiced.

I learned there’s a difference between the gift of tongues and speaking in tongues.  the gift is to be used to edify others and must be interpreted.  speaking in tongues is your prayer language and is between you and God.

he taught that to speak in tongues, you must ignore the analytical part of your mind because your analytical mind will try to stop it from happening.  the analytical mind processes what you’re thinking/saying.  so apparently, to speak in tongues, you must ignore a part of your mind.

I’m not really sure why God would create us with such awesome, complex brains/minds/inner workings only to require us to disregard them in order to have a deeper fellowship with Him.  I must just be too analytical I guess.  rather unfortunate.

God cannot be put in a box.

on thursday the dude’s having his prophecy team from his church come and prophesize (spelling??) over each of us.

Jesus Freaks

www.jesusfreaksmovie.com

"The Shooting (God told me three things)" | JesusFreaks Movie Web Episode 1 from JesusFreaks Movie on Vimeo.

This webisodes are leading up to the release of the film in December.  It starts off with the shooting at the YWAM Denver base in 2007.  Powerful stuff. 

Snow in Arvada

It's snowing in Arvada this morning! Loving it - because it's temporary. Come February, Jen gets to be back in 70-80 degree sunny land!!

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Frozen flies

These 2 flies are frozen to the window I think. I waved my hand next to them and they didn't move.



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Temporary

When I look at our 10-day forecast, there's a part of me that wants to freak out and fly home. Then I remind myself that this coldness is temporary. Jesus is better. Jesus is better. Jesus is BETTER!! :)

We are up at Eagle Rock this week. Elevation 9,000 something. First real snow of the season came Tuesday. We must be good luck. :P







Good thing I got snow boots with da furrrrr this past weekend at the outlet mall!! Regularly $119, got 'em for $39 :)







I'm wearing them right now.

Oh PS it's snowing right now. Ugh fine I'll take a pic. It's not the big flakey snow though. But here's my view...



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no title (ha - that’s a title)

mmmmm!!  I have seen and experienced God in so many tangible ways over the past week or so especially.  I am well aware, however, that God has always been at work – it’s just that now I’m seeking Him harder than ever before and tearing apart the box I’ve put Him in and am becoming more and more aware of His work.  but I have so far to go!!

today I gave my creative presentation and totally didn’t bomb it!!  PRAISE GOD!  it was supposed to be 2 weeks ago but it got postponed until today.  anyone who really knows me knows I had a horrible speech class experience in college and it greatly increased my already high hatred of public speaking.

this week’s teaching topic is the “Fear of the Lord” and God is really challenging me with this: do I fear man more than I fear God?  so often the answer is yes – I fear man more than I fear God.  I’d rather take the easy way out and disregard what God is asking me to do.

and so today, as I sat waiting to give my short presentation, I was battling and battling inside.  I started feeling like I might start losing it (I throw up, to summarize for anyone reading this that doesn’t know me very well).  I was fighting the urge to get up and get out of the classroom.  RIGHT before I went up, I finally yelled (in my head), “I WILL NOT GIVE IN TO THE FEAR OF MAN!  I CHOOSE TO FEAR GOD, NOT MAN!  I’M GOING TO DO THIS!”  seriously, if you were in my head at the time, you probably would’ve had to cover your ears because I yelled it so loud in there.

God has allowed for me to do this DTS.  did I hear Him audibly say, “GO!  Do this!”?  no.  but I feel like this is what He has called me to do right now.  and so since He has called me to do this DTS, that means doing everything that is involved with the DTS – including the 2 creative presentations.  I am going to honor Him and choose to rely on His grace to do these.

He is so strong!  I praise You, Abba, for Your strength!  Thank You for carrying me today!

tonight, Faith Bible Chapel had a thing called “Encounter” – it was a night of worship and a dude gave a short message. it was such a beautiful time of worshipping our awesome Savior and God.  I’m so glad I went.

oh how I yearn to know Jesus more!!  the best way to do that is to spend time with Him, just as I would a good friend that I wanted to get to know more.

I love being freed to worship my Jesus, my Savior, my God unashamedly and abandoned.

God speaks to us thru different means.  for me, I think He speaks to me most thru worship/music.

to top it off, I decided between dinner and Encounter I was going to go to Starbucks and treat myself to a soy chai latte.  Becca went with me and get this – I used my gift card (I got one when I came here and put $20/month it – oh my goodness, time OUT.  I was typing away and hadn’t saved this and all of a sudden my Norton thing popped up saying it needed to restart for updates and since I was typing, it selected to restart and it closed my blog and restarted!!  so I was praying it didn’t get erased – and it didn’t!  it recovered it!!  Praise Jesus!! 

ok ANYWAY – I had like $2 and some odd cents left on my gift card for the month of October (I haven’t reloaded it for November yet).  so I gave the girl the card and said it wouldn’t cover both our drinks but I’d use a credit card for the rest.  well she swiped it and said “oh – it doesn’t say there’s a balance left to pay, you’re good!” and I was like “…what?”  she had mentioned before that that she couldn’t reload my card because the computers were down.  so when I walked away and looked at my receipt, it said “gift card balance not available” … so I’m thinking I got free Starbucks tonight!!! hehehe YAY!

I am exhausted.  I’m skipping the gym in the morning.  don’t hate.  I’ll go friday and saturday.  5 days a week ain’t no shame.

oh that reminds me!!  ok nevermind, I’ll post it later – I’m so tired.

keep it real.
all GLORY to God!
-jen

He’s so patient

every monday night we have community outreach.  we all split into groups and go do different things each time.  tonight the group I was in got to do “creative evangelism” – which means you pray as a group before you go out and see if God gives anyone direction as to where we should go and what we should do.  usually (if not always) the group at least goes downtown somewhere.  so tonight we went downtown.

we split into smaller groups downtown and our group had 4 people.  we decided to hit up a coffee shop first (always a good start ).  as we walked up, 2 young guys sitting outside told us we should get espresso there and we had a really short conversation.  while we were ordering, they came in and sat down and we said a few more things to each other (just small talk).  then our group went outside and sat down, trying to decide where to go and what to do.  we all wanted to go back in and sit down with the guys and talk, but where they had sat there were no other places to sit.  so we talked ourselves out of it and walked to another area downtown.  we still didn’t know what to do, so we sat down and prayed.  inwardly, we all felt like we should’ve talked to those guys, but no one said that (until after the following happened…).  when we finished praying, we looked and here come the 2 guys from the coffee shop!!  and it was odd that we saw them again because it was in a different area.  and once again, it was them who initiated the conversation!!  I mean – we totally would have initiated it this time – but before we got close enough to start talking to them they pointed at us and started waving.

it was really cool how God made it so easy for us to talk to them – THEY started the conversation!  and what was super cool was that we all felt like we had missed an opportunity to talk to them at the coffee shop, and we were all regretting it.  and here God gave us another chance and once again, made it so easy to talk to them.

one dude was an agnostic, the other was “a-religious” … basically accepting everything.  they were both college students (18 and 19) and the a-religious one kept using really big words that I didn’t understand (he was a philosophy major – figures). 

I wish I could say it ended with them seeing Christ for who He is and coming to know Him as their Savior.  but it didn’t go that way in the conversation.  it was more of a “so what do you believe?” type of path the conversation took, not one where we shared the Gospel, unfortunately.  I suck at that still.  hopefully seeds were planted or watered at least.

unexpected blessing

I just had a super unexpected blessing!  I was eating lunch and talking with friends and somehow the topic of outreach came up and someone asked how much I had left to raise and I said I had received $400 in support so far so I need quite a bit still.  one of the guys in my DTS got up and said “don’t go anywhere!” and disappeared and came back with an envelope with multiple checks inside that add up to $300!  he has all his money raised and his dad found these checks in his bedroom back home and sent them here for him.  and my friend had forgotten about the checks until we were talking at lunch and he said he felt like God wanted him to give the checks to me because God wants me to go on this trip.

how cool is that?!  hahaha   this literally just happened like 20 minutes ago.  unfortunately, the internet isn’t working right now so I can’t upload this right away!

God is so cool.    I mean, sure it’s easy to say that when He blesses us in ways like this.  I pray that I continue to speak of His awesomeness when hard times come.

I haven’t been too stressed about money since coming out there, but yesterday in church all of a sudden I had a wave of stress hit me.  I started thinking “oh my goodness, I have no job, I have no income…if I have to pay for the rest of outreach out of pocket, I’m going to come back with next to nothing…” and I had to really work hard to not let the stress come over me for the rest of the day.  I know God will provide for me, even if that means my bank account being depleted.  He is above money.

yesterday and today I’ve just been really sickened by my pride and so that’s been something I’ve consciously been trying to turn from last night and especially so far today.

and then this happened.  hehe   praise God!!