HUGE EXCITEMENTS!

um - God has blessed me over and over today!! i am overwhelmed! i'll try to just list it:

5:45am - got up to do a Christian radio station talk show with Tim and Jae (Helina translated). it was in this guy's house (really nice place) and his wife made us tea. the show was broadcasted on the radio and the web (video...haha) - live. we get there, not knowing a ton about what this is about. the guy asks if we can each give a 10 minute message. haha no notes, no prep - just...do it. thankfully, it went a little differently. he interviewed each of us, asked us our testimony, asked some other questions, and then asked if we had a message to share - so by that time, it didn't have to be a full 10 minutes. i shared part of my sermon i had prepped for outreach. then i lost my train of thought while Helina was translating a verse. so i said "...that's it" - haha and the guy followed up with some more questions. when we were leaving, he handed Jae a wad of krowns (the currency here). we got in the car and Jae counted...and counted...and counted. haha each of us (4) got about $100 US each!

we got back around 9:15am and the Latvia YWAM team was here for a time of worship and intercession (YAY!!!!). soooo great!

music camp from 1-3pm and the 2nd half of the time we put all the instruments/vocals together for practice for the concert tomorrow. it was so fun!

OUR BAGS CAME!!!! praise GOD! it's like Christmas! hahaha :) Tim and Anna's bags didn't come, but we're takin' care of 'em :) and my sleeping bag made it! i was afraid it'd come unattached during all the traveling and i would lose my sleeping bag and broncos blanket (i was more concerned about the broncos blanket).

Aunt Toni sent me on outreach with 12 presents to open on the 12 days of Christmas so since that starts the day after Christmas, i had 3 days worth to open!! such great presents!!

ok Kevin needs his laptop. Thank You, God, for fun days with huge excitements!!

Small excitements!

Today - drum roll, please - I caught a glimpse of the sun!!!!!! It was this bright white-ish colored circle trying to pierce thru the grey clouds. It never fully broke thru. But it was pretty stinkin close and it made me smile really big. I got a picture on my camera.

Today I saw ducks!! The first wildlife I've seen in Estonia!! Animals DO live here!!!

We ate at a McDonalds in Old Town - I never eat McD's back home, but they said it was healthier here so I ate. And it was good. :) plus it was in this sick castle type area that was built in the 15th Century. Again, pics on my camera. A small fry was like $1.75.






(still no luggage=no hair products, no make up, and no contacts)

We went to a mall tonight to get anything we "needed". Well I needed a chai. :) so me, Kevin, and Bob found this uber trendy coffee shop in the mall and I had chai (Oregon Trail tiger spice - rarrrr) and the guys had shots of espresso. Bob also got a slice of keylime pie!!! It was a really light taste. Good though. Then the guys each ate cubes of sugar. Haha no thank you.









We also did a walk thru Old Town, up to the Parliament building and past the prime minister's house (you can walk right up next to it!!). We had a time of intercession in front of Parliament. Beautiful views of Tallinn. Tried getting a couple shots with my phone...






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The solution to cold legs

I have found the secret to staying warm is wearing a minimum of 3 layers of pants. Leggings. Warm ups. Jeans. Then 6 layers on top. Tank top, long sleeve, zip up hoodie, zip up sweater, pull over hoodie, and winter coat.

That's right. I've figured this thing out!!


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observations

Estonia is considered a "cold culture" - people generally do not show much emotion and are quiet in public. it's considered rude to talk on your cell on the bus/train/public transportation. it's hard to describe the architecture because the houses are covered in mounds of snow. :) some drifts are as tall as me. i haven't seen any "beater" cars, no rust buckets. most cars are uber nice and Estonian drivers are snow maniacs - nothing stops them!! haha :) public transportation is popular, lots of busses/trolleys/trains.

when you enter homes, people generally take off their boots (so you don't track snow everywhere - i don't know if they do that in the summer). stoves/ovens take a long time to heat up - Helina, our contact here, said she was shocked when she lived in the US to see how fast stoves/ovens heated up.

when you're walking, cars stop so you can cross. like, pedestrians generally have the right of way. totally not American. haha :) if you need to communicate with someone, your best bet is find someone younger - they are taught English in school. some of the older generation have learned English, but you're much more likely to find a younger person you can communicate with.

coffee shops are not common. they drink a lot more of tea. prices for food are OK, but for clothes they are a bit more expensive than the US.

i guess at the start of the new year, they are switching currency to the Euro. right now they still use the krone (spelling?). ooh maybe i should go to the bank and get a few krones before they switch! this is history in the making, peoples! :)

oh! it is not uncommon for houses to have saunas! the house we're staying in has a sauna. Helina's house as a sauna (which we got to use Christmas night!!). we haven't used the sauna here yet - we're not sure if it works yet.

well...the stove just died on us. we're in the middle of cooking dinner...here comes another adventure! :)

James 1:12

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him."

And i will choose to persevere with joy!

stranded

this morning, 6 of us + 1 leader and our contact (Helina) went to work at a soup kitchen. we walked to the train station and waited but the train didn't come. turns out the train got stuck (we were having a snow storm - actually, we still are). so we had to call a taxi. but it took 2 taxis to get the 8 of us to the soup kitchen. so 4 of us girls went in 1 and then the 2 guys, our leader, and Helina went in the other one (hindsight is 20/20). Helina told our driver the address and we took off first. well, our driver drove to this area of warehouses/run down apartment-like buildings that appeared pretty empty. he kept pointing, saying our place was just down the drive. we had no idea if it was or not, but it didn't look like it. anyway, the car got stuck in the snow so 3 of us girls jumped out and tried to push him out. then a couple fellow Estonians driving by stopped to shovel and push. finally the car got out. the driver didn't speak any english, and we had no clue where we were. but he kept motioning that this was the address. so we got out. and he left.

so here we are, 4 American girls, stranded in the middle of who knows where in a foreign country - in the middle of a blizzard-type snow storm. the good news was, i had a 1/2 snickers bar and enough granola bars and water to last us a couple days. safety first.

we were like - what do we do?? my first answer: an emphatic "PRAY!" so we did. then we talked to the first 2 doors of the apartment building and knocked. no one. we saw someone shoveling snow. asked if she spoke english. nope. we had my phone but i doubted i'd have service, plus i had no one's phone numbers in Estonia. it would do no good. i figured if i could find wi-fi, i could get on facebook and message the living daylights out of everyone on our team, hoping someone would check it. but there was no wi-fi in nowheresville. no surprise.

so we stopped and prayed again. then we saw a woman walking toward us and we asked her if she spoke english. she knew very very VERY little english, but she tried so hard!! we were all laughing a lot, it was cute. we got the message across that we needed her to call a taxi (that was the only solution we could think of - get a taxi to pick us up...although we didn't know our address, but we figured we could at least go somewhere warm...haha). she got her phone out but then she felt so bad because she couldn't remember the number for the taxi! she was adorable. then a younger guy walked by and she yelled at him and he came over - he spoke english! praise the Lord! we asked him if there was a soup kitchen near by. thankfully, he knew exactly what we were talking about and it was just a couple blocks away.

we made it to the soup kitchen, refilled lots of hot tea, served some sour kraut, pork, and yellow potatoes (SO GOOD!). i guess it's a common Estonian Christmas dinner. it was a lot of fun!! hardly anyone spoke english, but the ones that did loved trying to say the few words they knew! one old man kept telling all of us we were really beautiful! :) another nearly definitely creepy man kept looking at me with this creepy smile and he asked one of the Estonian workers something or made some comment and pointed at me and smiled and she slugged him. hahaha :)

because of the snow storm, we couldn't get any taxis to take us home. so we walked to the train track (not very far) and waited, hoping some mode of public transportation would come by. we prayed a lot today. :) a trolly came by and from there we got on a bus and made it home!!!!

it was a hugely memorable Christmas!!!! this morning i asked God if i could feel His presence today in some way. totally did. i loved having to rely on Him today!!! and seeing Him tangibly come thru!!

tonight we are hanging out at Helina's and making pizzas! i got to go to a little grocery store tonight and i got a bag of granola! what a treat!!!!!!!

oh and this morning, while waiting for the taxis, we went in the gas station (they're like American ones!) and Jae bought us all hot chocolate!!! she's the best outreach leader EVER!

Grounded

12/21/10 - 9:13am Munich, Germany
We are currently sitting on the tarmac in Munich, Germany...which is cool, because I've never been to Germany before. But we are supposed to be in Frankfurt. We got here around 8am. Frankfurt was closed because of snow, so we were re-routed until it opens. It re-opened around 9am but there are 50 planes sitting here, waiting to refuel and take off for Frankfurt...it could be another hour or so.

Should make for an interesting day - unfortunately I don't think we'll get to go into Frankfurt and see the city over our layover now. Bum.

10am Update - Munich, Germany
The captain just announced it would take at least 5 hours to get refueled so our flight is cancelled and busses are coming out to take us into the terminal. Adventure rocks!!!!

7:02pm - still in Munich, Germany
So we are still at the airport in Munich...11 hours later and counting. We have a flight straight to Estonia. It was supposed to be at 7:25pm. It's delayed to 7:55pm. Not a big deal.
We've spent most of the day here sitting on the tarmac (in the plane), standing in lines for rescheduling, and walking around just outside the airport - there's a cool Christmas-y type thing going on out there - ice skating rink, various booths of food vendors and craft vendors.
We are trying to stay awake until bed tonight so we can defeat jet leg. Running on 30+ hours with maybe a cumulative 3 hrs of sleep mixed in. Most as sitting on the ground with a dazed look. Others of us go thru stages of slap happiness.
This is fun!! It's all part of the adventure!!

--we got in to Tallinn, Estonia around midnight (local- 7 hrs ahead of eastern time zone). Got to our place and in bed by 2am.


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things I’ve learned over the past 11 weeks

disclaimer: this is NOT an exhaustive list.

1. I fear man a lot more than I fear God.  NO MORE!  I am puttin’ my foot down.  I will fear God and God alone!
2. I DO have a testimony.  I’ve always felt like I didn’t have much of a testimony because I’ve grown up knowing God and He has always been a part of my life ever since I can remember.  I didn’t have a time of rebellion, I didn’t have a dramatic conversion story.  but I DO have a testimony – the hope that I have because of Christ, the pain He has protected me from because I didn’t go down any rebellious paths, and the way He has given me hope, peace, and joy in the midst of trials and hurts.  He has also restored me in areas that I struggled with (and He’s still workin’ on me, that’s for sure).  I DO have a testimony.
3. In order to allow God to be my strength in my weakness, I have to ALLOW Him to be my strength in my weakness.  I have to be willing to operate in my weakness so that He can show His strength.  All for His GLORY!

Stoked!

Stoked to leave for outreach!!
Stoked because I got 3 checks totaling $400 today in the mail - definitely a huge surprise and blessing!
Stoked because I have amazing family and friends who love me and support (totally not just financially) me!!
Stoked that, unless God brings me home sooner (to Heaven!!), I will be back to my earthly paradise in less than 2 months!
Stoked to continue on this adventure with God for the next 7 weeks internationally!
Stoked.

:D



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Ironic & Beautiful

Just peruse thru the following...compare locations.







And currently (and my favorite):





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Super bowl

I realized tonight that the Super Bowl is Feb 6 - I get back to the States Feb 4. :D

Today I had a good quiet time. Then one of the guys (Nathan M) in our DTS surprised me with a peppermint hot chocolate from Starbucks! That was so cool!!!! Then for lunch we had meatball subs. A lot of people don't like them. I love 'em! Then I got a sweet Christmas card in the mail from the newlywed Silby dynamic duo!! And the Radical book I ordered off Walmart came in! Then this afternoon our DTS went to Majestic View park and hung out (low 60's and sunny baby!). Some of us played ultimate!! Cant wait to be home and playing every Sunday!!

Fun day! So stoked for outreach!!!!!!!!


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Happy Place

Sunny. 55 deg outside. Walked into Chipotle for the last time before I leave. Bob Marley playing. "Baby don't worry - 'bout a ting...'coz every little ting - 's gonna be alllllright...". I am in my happy place. And smiling really big.



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giving praise where praise is way past due

there’s something I’ve been meaning to post and keep forgetting to.  it’s from the end of October.  better late than never, right?

so we had a mid-quarter outreach in October, which was 1 week in downtown Denver (remember the Teddy Bear story?).  it was a busy week, lots of time spent out in the freezing cold, and lots of late nights and early mornings.  in other words, prime breeding ground for sickness.  a lot of people were getting bad colds.

we got back to the base late Thursday night and Friday morning I woke up with a headache and sore throat and totally felt the beginnings of a cold coming on.  during worship that morning, they told people to go up to these 2 guys who wanted to pray for healing for those who were sick.  I didn’t go up.  I feel bad asking for prayer like that and then if I don’t get “healed”, then I don’t want the person to feel bad. so I was like, “OK God, if they pray for like, a group of people or something, or if someone comes up to me and asks to pray for me, I’ll do it.”  well then they decided to have everyone who was sick get in a group and have others lay hands on them and pray for healing.  ha :)

I figured I had nothing to lose.  this way I wasn’t on the spot, so they wouldn’t pray for me individually and then ask expectantly, “are you better??”  and then if I wasn’t better, I’d let them down. (I know, I’ve got issues – I shouldn’t be worried/thinking about that – trying to get over it)

so I went up.  and they prayed and I did feel a little relief in the pressure I was feeling in my head, and my throat didn’t hurt as much.  but as we left the worship session and went about our days, my throat started to hurt a little again.  so I was like “oh…bummer.”

BUT – I woke up the next day and felt TOTALLY fine!

Praise God!  and praise Him that I haven’t been sick at all these 3 months I’ve been here!  the flu has made it’s rounds twice now (it’s making it’s 2nd round currently – so far so good). horrible colds have spread around.  and God has protected my health.

Praise Him!

note to self

learn how to spell “too-shay” – I’ve said it twice on here within the past week and each time I put the disclaimer that I don’t know how to spell it so I spell it like it sounds.

3 more hours

If I could have even just 3 more hours in the day, that would be great.

If I could just better utilize the time I DO have each day, that would be greater.


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fire alarm

this morning at 2:45am I woke up to the sound of my roommates rushing around, running out the door.  I could faintly hear a “beeep…beeep…beeep…”  I soon realized they were freaking out because the fire alarm was going off.  I rolled over, thinking, “ugh – dumb thing, I’m SO not getting out of bed.”  but then I realized EVERYONE was jumping up and running out the door so I thought, “ok, will I get in trouble if I don’t evacuate?  like, is it mandatory?”  I decided I didn’t want to risk getting in trouble (at that time in the morning, I couldn’t figure out if it was illegal or not to not evacuate…although it SHOULD be a voluntary evacuation…just sayin’…).  so I slowly climbed out of bed, rummaged through my drawer to find warm things to put on (priorities, first – I didn’t want to freeze outside - I settled for 2 hoodies and my snowpants), stuck my phone in my pocket, and leisurely made it outside.

then we all sat in the admin building (which was really cold but I, having priorities and taking the time to properly suit up before evacuating, was comfortable…while others were in shorts and freezing…hehe – that’s what they get for freaking out).  we got to go back to our rooms by about 3:15am I think.

I tried really hard not to fully “wake up” but it was still enough to wake me up and I couldn’t fall back asleep ‘til at least 5am.  I was bummed.  I’m so tired today.  but it’s OK.

and PS, there was no fire.

ha – I suppose, though, if there ever were to be a fire, then I’d regret being so relaxed about it.

but seriously, evacuations should be voluntary.

that reminds me of the time some of us girls lived in the extended stay hotel by LU and had the fire alarm go off in the middle of the night…

hard times do come

(I wrote this 11/30/10 but didn’t have internet so I’m posting it now)

hi.

this week I have 3 presentations to do.  have I mentioned that presentations aren’t my favorite?  I wasn’t sure if I had.

heavy sarcasm.

I’m trying to fear God and not fear man.  I’m trying really hard to not be anxious.  I’m trying to put Phil. 4:4-8 into practice.  I still feel like I’m failing at it though.

today I went to Starbucks for a couple hours (we have a weird schedule this week, it’s outreach prep week, so I had a couple hours free this morning).  then I called my friend.  he’s good at being tough but encouraging.  I asked him to just tell me about Jesus.  :) and he did.  among other things, he asked me if I thought Jesus was excited to come to earth and suffer like He did for the sin of the world?  too-shay (I don’t know how to spell that word, so I spelt it like it sounds so you’ll know what I’m trying to say).

on my walk back to the base, I really just wanted to cry and get all the ickiness out.  but I couldn’t cry.  not because it wouldn’t come. the tears were about there. but it was so stinkin’ cold out and the wind chill was like –50 (I might be exaggerating a little, but not much).  it was so cold that I couldn’t even cry when I wanted to.  I rarely cry.  and when I finally want to, I can’t.  because it’s so stinkin’ cold.  as I walked, I asked (yes, out loud), “God, why do You let it get so cold??”

I didn’t hear an answer.

but Jesus left Paradise to live on earth for 33 years.  I can handle sacrificing earthly paradise (the Keys) for 5 months.  by His strength, I can do this.

Can't sleep

I can't fall asleep tonight. I've been trying for an hour and a half. Wide awake. Boooo.

I had an "off" day today. I don't like those - where no matter how hard you try, you just are off. Either physically or mentally or emotionally or spiritually - or all of the above.

Usually there's a reason. This week I have 3 presentations. 'Nuff said.

But while laying in bed tonight, I was listening to a Michael Gungor album and this song called "Filled with Glory" hit me.

For God to be glorified, for His strength to be shown in my weakness, there must be opportunities for Him to receive glory. This means opportunities for me to be weak. I can't say I want to live by faith by relying on God's strength, provision, and grace and then go live life safely. I have to be willing to risk. To be weak so that He can be glorified.


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Great question

So my aunt and uncle took Krystle and I to a sporting goods store to get me some snowboard pants. I was checking out and Krystle walked up to me and said something. Then the clerk (a young guy, 18 at most) said to her, "is that your real accent or are you just pretending to be British?"

HAHAHA!!! ...she's Australian.

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Lounging in Cheyenne

Rachel and Krystle :) Rachel doing her scary face - hehehe :)






And Aunt Toni picked up the Blind Side for me at Target for $3.99!! She's so brave - sacrificing her life to get great deals on Black Friday!



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Heart of Worship

the topic this week is Heart of Worship and Will & Erika Strickland are teaching.  I absolutely love this dynamic duo.  they are my favorite Stricklands ever.

yesterday and today Will taught.  soooo good!  he started off with teaching on the tabernacle and all the specifications for building it – normally, an easily boring topic.  however, he made it so interesting (plus he’s hilarious so that helps).  did you know that all the items and the things they were made out of represent Christ and man in some way??  oh my goodness – MIND BLOWING!  I have heard so many teachings on the tabernacle and nothing ever stuck.  I’m sure someone’s even taught me before that everything represents Christ in some way – it’s just that it finally made sense to me.  you hear things enough from enough people and eventually something sticks.  stick a fork in me, I’m DONE!    everything from the acacia wood to the colors to the number or things to the position of the altar on an elevated place…it all represents things.

and then there’s the HUGE grace factor that studying this stuff stirs up.  how thankful I am that God lets us come directly to Him now and worship Him and ask forgiveness without having to go thru all the procedures and protocols!  all because of Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice.  mmmm such grace abounds to us!

the second part of yesterday, he taught on Proverbs 4:23, which says something to the effect of “Above all else, guard your heart – for it is the wellspring of life” (Jen version, I can’t find the translation that words it that way right now).  each of our hearts is like a well.  shoot, I have to pack up and head back to the base but I’ll continue this later – it’s so gooooood!!!!

a new week

Holy Spirit week has ended.

teachings included how to speak in tongues and how to prophecy.  tuesday night we had a mandatory Holy Spirit party, Holy Spirit tunnel included for impartation.

because I try not to use my blog as a sound-off spot to deliver blows of criticism, and because I do not think I can talk about last week in a manner is Christ-like, I will keep my fingers restrained.

I tried to keep an open mind.  it wasn’t new to me (well, the Holy Spirit tunnel was) but I have studied numerous movements and such.

it’s a new week.  Praise Jesus.

top 60 – KA-CHOW!

so at the gym they track your workouts.  most machines have little screens you log into and they tell you how to set the machine and your goal and they count your reps and all.  then the program ranks everyone.  now, for some, that might carry no incentive for them to workout more.  for others, however, it only brings out their competitive edge. if I ever said I wasn’t competitive, I apologize – I lied.  I have learned that I am competitive.  to the point of checking the rankings a few times a week and pushing tons of weight the last few days in October so I could make the top 60 list.

I am a sick, sick person.

but a healthy, fit person. 

so, for the month of october, I ranked #51 out of the top 60 women for the most weight lifted!  YEAH BABY!  I think I did somewhere in the 123,000lbs range.  15 elephants, if I remember right.

so far this month, I’m #2 in my age range (females) for weight lifted.  and I think #54 out of all the women.

I like to move it, move it.  I like to move it, move it.

~jenny machado.

1 month left in Denver!!

4 weeks left here – YAY!  this week is Thanksgiving, so my aunt & uncle from Cheyenne are picking me and Krystle up Wednesday for the long weekend!  then I’ll just have 3 weeks left!  Dec. 20th we fly to Estonia, by way of Germany.  we have a 6 hour layover in Frankfurt, so we are getting to explore the city for about 4 hours!  here’s what our schedule tentatively looks like:

Dec. 20th – fly to Estonia (layover in Germany, explore Frankfurt)
January 2nd – take a bus to Latvia
January 12th – fly from Latvia to Norway (Skein)
February 4th – fly back to Denver
February 12th – FLY HOME!

I’ve heard outreach flies by, and I’m pretty sure the fact that we will be going to 3 different places will make it go by even faster.

I am so excited to get home!  I miss my family, my friends, the weather, beach volleyball, LPC, indoor volleyball, the water, the bridges, working out with friends, saturday afternoons floating in the pool at Bait Shack on giant floating bean bags with Tiff, the culture, Leigh Ann’s coffee shop, hammocks, giant bean bags (as in Shane’s), Zeva, fresh bananas, mangoes, kayaking, sweating, sushi, simple pleasures…just to name a few things (and in no particular order).

shoot, listing those things makes me even MORE longing to be back on the islands!

I am really excited for outreach, though.  Jae & Kevin (our leaders – um, they pretty much rock my face off), have made a point of making this outreach music-oriented.  we don’t know a whole lot of what we’ll be doing yet, but some things are doing music seminars, leading worship (we will split up into 3 or 4 teams and rotate around), doing a concert, and running youth camps.

I am so stoked that worship will have such a big part in this journey.  trying to focus on fearing God and not man.  I cannot wait to go on this adventure as I cling even more closely to God for His grace, strength, and power.  it is a battle already to not let fear and anxiety start bubbling up in me.  I will GREATLY appreciate your prayers while I’m on outreach!

thank you to EVERYONE who has been praying for me or even if you just prayed 1 little prayer for me or whatever – THANK YOU!  I can honestly say I’ve felt a difference. this journey with YWAM so far has been amazing and I am amazed at what God has done in me already.  it’s definitely been by His strength and not my own.

I’m going to do a few different posts tonight.

keep it real.
~jen

Holy Spirit Week

this week’s speaker topic is the Holy Spirit.

yesterday we spent most of class time learning about speaking in tongues.  then he had anyone who wanted to learn how to speak in tongues come to the front of the class and he prayed for them and then they all practiced.

I learned there’s a difference between the gift of tongues and speaking in tongues.  the gift is to be used to edify others and must be interpreted.  speaking in tongues is your prayer language and is between you and God.

he taught that to speak in tongues, you must ignore the analytical part of your mind because your analytical mind will try to stop it from happening.  the analytical mind processes what you’re thinking/saying.  so apparently, to speak in tongues, you must ignore a part of your mind.

I’m not really sure why God would create us with such awesome, complex brains/minds/inner workings only to require us to disregard them in order to have a deeper fellowship with Him.  I must just be too analytical I guess.  rather unfortunate.

God cannot be put in a box.

on thursday the dude’s having his prophecy team from his church come and prophesize (spelling??) over each of us.

Jesus Freaks

www.jesusfreaksmovie.com

"The Shooting (God told me three things)" | JesusFreaks Movie Web Episode 1 from JesusFreaks Movie on Vimeo.

This webisodes are leading up to the release of the film in December.  It starts off with the shooting at the YWAM Denver base in 2007.  Powerful stuff. 

Snow in Arvada

It's snowing in Arvada this morning! Loving it - because it's temporary. Come February, Jen gets to be back in 70-80 degree sunny land!!

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Frozen flies

These 2 flies are frozen to the window I think. I waved my hand next to them and they didn't move.



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Temporary

When I look at our 10-day forecast, there's a part of me that wants to freak out and fly home. Then I remind myself that this coldness is temporary. Jesus is better. Jesus is better. Jesus is BETTER!! :)

We are up at Eagle Rock this week. Elevation 9,000 something. First real snow of the season came Tuesday. We must be good luck. :P







Good thing I got snow boots with da furrrrr this past weekend at the outlet mall!! Regularly $119, got 'em for $39 :)







I'm wearing them right now.

Oh PS it's snowing right now. Ugh fine I'll take a pic. It's not the big flakey snow though. But here's my view...



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no title (ha - that’s a title)

mmmmm!!  I have seen and experienced God in so many tangible ways over the past week or so especially.  I am well aware, however, that God has always been at work – it’s just that now I’m seeking Him harder than ever before and tearing apart the box I’ve put Him in and am becoming more and more aware of His work.  but I have so far to go!!

today I gave my creative presentation and totally didn’t bomb it!!  PRAISE GOD!  it was supposed to be 2 weeks ago but it got postponed until today.  anyone who really knows me knows I had a horrible speech class experience in college and it greatly increased my already high hatred of public speaking.

this week’s teaching topic is the “Fear of the Lord” and God is really challenging me with this: do I fear man more than I fear God?  so often the answer is yes – I fear man more than I fear God.  I’d rather take the easy way out and disregard what God is asking me to do.

and so today, as I sat waiting to give my short presentation, I was battling and battling inside.  I started feeling like I might start losing it (I throw up, to summarize for anyone reading this that doesn’t know me very well).  I was fighting the urge to get up and get out of the classroom.  RIGHT before I went up, I finally yelled (in my head), “I WILL NOT GIVE IN TO THE FEAR OF MAN!  I CHOOSE TO FEAR GOD, NOT MAN!  I’M GOING TO DO THIS!”  seriously, if you were in my head at the time, you probably would’ve had to cover your ears because I yelled it so loud in there.

God has allowed for me to do this DTS.  did I hear Him audibly say, “GO!  Do this!”?  no.  but I feel like this is what He has called me to do right now.  and so since He has called me to do this DTS, that means doing everything that is involved with the DTS – including the 2 creative presentations.  I am going to honor Him and choose to rely on His grace to do these.

He is so strong!  I praise You, Abba, for Your strength!  Thank You for carrying me today!

tonight, Faith Bible Chapel had a thing called “Encounter” – it was a night of worship and a dude gave a short message. it was such a beautiful time of worshipping our awesome Savior and God.  I’m so glad I went.

oh how I yearn to know Jesus more!!  the best way to do that is to spend time with Him, just as I would a good friend that I wanted to get to know more.

I love being freed to worship my Jesus, my Savior, my God unashamedly and abandoned.

God speaks to us thru different means.  for me, I think He speaks to me most thru worship/music.

to top it off, I decided between dinner and Encounter I was going to go to Starbucks and treat myself to a soy chai latte.  Becca went with me and get this – I used my gift card (I got one when I came here and put $20/month it – oh my goodness, time OUT.  I was typing away and hadn’t saved this and all of a sudden my Norton thing popped up saying it needed to restart for updates and since I was typing, it selected to restart and it closed my blog and restarted!!  so I was praying it didn’t get erased – and it didn’t!  it recovered it!!  Praise Jesus!! 

ok ANYWAY – I had like $2 and some odd cents left on my gift card for the month of October (I haven’t reloaded it for November yet).  so I gave the girl the card and said it wouldn’t cover both our drinks but I’d use a credit card for the rest.  well she swiped it and said “oh – it doesn’t say there’s a balance left to pay, you’re good!” and I was like “…what?”  she had mentioned before that that she couldn’t reload my card because the computers were down.  so when I walked away and looked at my receipt, it said “gift card balance not available” … so I’m thinking I got free Starbucks tonight!!! hehehe YAY!

I am exhausted.  I’m skipping the gym in the morning.  don’t hate.  I’ll go friday and saturday.  5 days a week ain’t no shame.

oh that reminds me!!  ok nevermind, I’ll post it later – I’m so tired.

keep it real.
all GLORY to God!
-jen

He’s so patient

every monday night we have community outreach.  we all split into groups and go do different things each time.  tonight the group I was in got to do “creative evangelism” – which means you pray as a group before you go out and see if God gives anyone direction as to where we should go and what we should do.  usually (if not always) the group at least goes downtown somewhere.  so tonight we went downtown.

we split into smaller groups downtown and our group had 4 people.  we decided to hit up a coffee shop first (always a good start ).  as we walked up, 2 young guys sitting outside told us we should get espresso there and we had a really short conversation.  while we were ordering, they came in and sat down and we said a few more things to each other (just small talk).  then our group went outside and sat down, trying to decide where to go and what to do.  we all wanted to go back in and sit down with the guys and talk, but where they had sat there were no other places to sit.  so we talked ourselves out of it and walked to another area downtown.  we still didn’t know what to do, so we sat down and prayed.  inwardly, we all felt like we should’ve talked to those guys, but no one said that (until after the following happened…).  when we finished praying, we looked and here come the 2 guys from the coffee shop!!  and it was odd that we saw them again because it was in a different area.  and once again, it was them who initiated the conversation!!  I mean – we totally would have initiated it this time – but before we got close enough to start talking to them they pointed at us and started waving.

it was really cool how God made it so easy for us to talk to them – THEY started the conversation!  and what was super cool was that we all felt like we had missed an opportunity to talk to them at the coffee shop, and we were all regretting it.  and here God gave us another chance and once again, made it so easy to talk to them.

one dude was an agnostic, the other was “a-religious” … basically accepting everything.  they were both college students (18 and 19) and the a-religious one kept using really big words that I didn’t understand (he was a philosophy major – figures). 

I wish I could say it ended with them seeing Christ for who He is and coming to know Him as their Savior.  but it didn’t go that way in the conversation.  it was more of a “so what do you believe?” type of path the conversation took, not one where we shared the Gospel, unfortunately.  I suck at that still.  hopefully seeds were planted or watered at least.

unexpected blessing

I just had a super unexpected blessing!  I was eating lunch and talking with friends and somehow the topic of outreach came up and someone asked how much I had left to raise and I said I had received $400 in support so far so I need quite a bit still.  one of the guys in my DTS got up and said “don’t go anywhere!” and disappeared and came back with an envelope with multiple checks inside that add up to $300!  he has all his money raised and his dad found these checks in his bedroom back home and sent them here for him.  and my friend had forgotten about the checks until we were talking at lunch and he said he felt like God wanted him to give the checks to me because God wants me to go on this trip.

how cool is that?!  hahaha   this literally just happened like 20 minutes ago.  unfortunately, the internet isn’t working right now so I can’t upload this right away!

God is so cool.    I mean, sure it’s easy to say that when He blesses us in ways like this.  I pray that I continue to speak of His awesomeness when hard times come.

I haven’t been too stressed about money since coming out there, but yesterday in church all of a sudden I had a wave of stress hit me.  I started thinking “oh my goodness, I have no job, I have no income…if I have to pay for the rest of outreach out of pocket, I’m going to come back with next to nothing…” and I had to really work hard to not let the stress come over me for the rest of the day.  I know God will provide for me, even if that means my bank account being depleted.  He is above money.

yesterday and today I’ve just been really sickened by my pride and so that’s been something I’ve consciously been trying to turn from last night and especially so far today.

and then this happened.  hehe   praise God!!

the teddy bear

we stayed at a Salvation Army community center in downtown Denver this week, having class in the morning and doing ministry in the afternoon/evening.  (Mriss – LoDo means “Lower Downtown”, it’s just a term that caught on for downtown Denver)

wednesday night we went down again to the main street downtown (16th St. Mall).  we were each give $1 and put in groups of 3 or 4.  we could do whatever we wanted with our dollars, but we couldn’t just give them away.  we were supposed to buy something with them (and we could pool together with everyone in our group and also add our own personal money if we wanted to).  so before we went out, each group prayed together to see if God gave anyone “pictures” of what we were to buy.

now, I’m not all into the “pray and see what images God brings to mind” game.  honestly, I feel like a lot of times it’s just people’s own imaginations.  and I’ve never really prayed with people who were praying with the sole intent to get pictures from God until I came here.  sometimes friends in the past have said God randomly gave them a vision or whatever and I don’t question those – that seems more legit.

ANYWAY – I’m not here to argue whether or not God speaks to us thru giving us pictures.    so – back to the story (this is a true story, by the way – just thought I’d thought that in).  so our group prayed (3 of us in our group) and 2 of them saw a teddy bear, and 1 of them also saw the color pink, a stroller, and little kid toys.  the only thing I had to add was that I felt like it didn’t necessarily have to be a homeless person that we gave this something to (a lot of the outreach this week was geared toward the homeless).  I just felt like even though it could be a homeless person we blessed, we should be open to blessing anyone we may come across no matter of their social/economic status.

so we go downtown and hit up Walgreens and end up buying a teddy bear.  then we walked around, looking for a little kid and/or someone pushing a kid in a stroller.  it was about 8:30/9pm so the chances of seeing little kids was kinda getting slim.  we came to an ice cream shop and saw 2 little girls inside, 1 wearing a pink coat.  so we stood outside, debating whether or not we should give them the bear.  they came out and started walking away and no one felt like we should give them the bear (it was kinda weird to give the 1 bear to 2 girls and be like…”here, you’re wearing pink, so you get it – haha).  so we held on to the bear but realized it was time to meet our group and head back to our place.  so we got on one of the busses that runs up and down the street, hoping to find a little kid on the bus.  no such luck.  we got off the bus near our meeting place and stood outside a couple shops, trying to decide what to do with the bear.

we saw an older man in a store so we decided we’d just give it to him when he came out.  so we stood there waiting and waiting and he kept getting distracted by things in the little store.  then we saw a husband and wife walk by, swinging their little girl.  we all looked at each other and go “…let’s just do it!” so we walk up and Davidson (in my group) goes “excuse me…we bought this teddy bear tonight to give to someone and we saw your little girl and wondered if she’d like to have it?” a little bit of an awkward silence.  then the mom goes “I can’t believe this…I had told my little girl we’d get her a teddy bear tonight and I had just realized the store was closed so we weren’t going to be able to get one tonight…!”  wow.  crazy.  so they accepted the bear and we asked if we could pray for them about anything.  they paused and then the husband goes, “Yeah, actually…you could pray for our marriage…”  he was SO honest to just out right say that to us, strangers.  so we prayed for them and when we were done, the woman had tears in her eyes.  they asked what church we went to, and told us they used to go to this certain church but it kinda sounded like they didn’t go regularly anymore (hard to tell).  and the woman then said she had been struggling lately and really felt like this moment was for her – that God had given her this moment.

stoked.  I couldn’t believe how the night had ended.  it definitely gave some validity to the picture the 2 people in my group had both gotten.  growing my faith.  I cannot put God in a box.  all glory to Him for what He did that night!!

I like to think that whenever that husband and wife see their little girl’s teddy bear, it will remind them of God’s goodness and His intimacy.

Hittin the Streets

Last night we spent a couple hours walking the streets downtown, handing out water bottles, granola bars, and hand warmers to the homeless. We are just like them, lost and in need of Jesus. It was a good night, I really enjoyed talking to two different girls.

It was 38 deg and wind chill was 28. 2 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of pants, a tank top, long sleeve thermal, 2 hoodies, winter coat (inner and outer shell), scarf, beanie, and 2 pairs of gloves (I ended up letting someone borrow one pair).






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Takin on LoDo

We are in downtown Denver this week (aka LoDo), staying at a church/community center, doing various ministries and having class in the morning. Last night we hung out for 2 chapel services at the Denver Rescue Mission - it was mainly homeless men there. One drunk man came up to me afterwards, held my hand, kept moving in closer. I kept trying to make conversation but he wouldnt talk - he just kept making noises and moving in. Then he pulled the hood off my head and started moving in even more. Unfortunately for him, I wasn't giving out free kisses last night ;) thankfully, people stepped in and rescued me.

All updates will be from my phone this week - I didn't bring my laptop down here.

This is Becca and Jessie! Becca is my small group leader :)


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if this stuff was bottle-able, i would make a fortune

dang, gina – this week of teaching was a-mazing.

Jeff Pratt was our speaker and taught us about the Father Heart of God. i’m going to try to recap from my notes.

first we talked about passion.  passionate people change the world.  our hearts need to be completely His.  not only is it the greatest commandment (Matt. 22:37-38), but Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Jeff told a story of man who was enthralled with his adopted daughter.  absolutely adored her. they were sitting on a dock in Cape Cod and his daughter had a fishing pole (and…she was fishing…needless to say).  the man’s sitting there next to her, just gazing at her and overwhelmed with love for her.  out of no where, a shark comes up out of the water and rips the girl’s arm off.  immediately, the father jumped in the water and pried open the shark’s jaws to retrieve the his daughter’s arm.  long story short, the surgeons were able to reattach her arm.  Jeff used this story to back up 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.”  i liked the illustration (it was a true story) because it made that verse come alive to me with a real life example of what it looks like.

we all have 3 needs:
1 – to be loved
2 – to be needed/wanted
3 – to have significance

when we look to others to fulfill these needs, we easily become insecure and dependent on other’s affirmations.  the beautiful thing is – all of these needs can be fully met by God.  to be loved and to have significance can definitely be proved by Jesus’ death on the cross to save us from eternity apart from Him.  there are so many verses that prove it as well.  Psalm 139:13-16, for one.  and as far as being needed/wanted by God – how about Jeremiah 29:11 and Matthew 28:19-20 for starters.

unfortunately, and i am guilty of this, we are too often more affected by the affirmation of others than we are by what God says about us.

Jeff talked about 5 love types.  Husband, Friend, Lover, Mother, Father.  i have explanations for all of them, but i’m trying to keep this concise (HA – yeah right – like i’m capable of that).  so if you want any explanations, let me know.  but unless we learn to receive these types of love from God, we’ll manipulate others to meet our need to be loved - when God is the only perfect Lover.

one thing i will mention, in regards to receiving love from God the Father, is that “Father” is used as a metaphor for God over 178 times in the Bible.  i love the Truth that no matter how i fail, God loves me because I am His daughter.  He loves me with unconditional love. He loves me as I am, not as I should be.  and His love is for you too!!

ahhh – so that recaps all week.  PSYCH! (yeah, i just pulled that word out – goin’ old school)  that was just day 1.  but in order to keep things interesting and not uberly long, i’m going to leave this as it’s own post.

oh how God loves us!!!  i feel so loved, so beautiful, so full of worth, so…joyful!  i wish i could bottle how i feel and sell it – i would make a fortune.  i’d have my trip to Norway paid in no time!  ;)

keep it real.
~jen

OH – PS!  yesterday i got my first financial support for Norway!  i got 3 checks in the mail, totaling $400! Praise God! 

Alphie

Meet Alphie. I made him! For outreach prep this week they taught us how to make a dog, sword, flower, fishing pole, and fish. I didn't get past the dog though. Did I mention I hate balloons? Haha :) the sudden loud popping...ahhhhhhh no me gusta! So I at least tried to put that aside and managed to get Alphie created. I held the balloon as far away from me and looked away as I twisted it.




I tried moving on to the sword but while I was cautiously blowing up my next balloon, every time someone would pop one I'd jump and let go and my balloon would shoot off the air pump and lose all the air. So eventually I ended the torture and just watched. With my ears covered. Waiting for my heart to stop racing. Haha :)

But the point is - I still did it! The dog, at least.
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little random things

the very first day i was in Denver (Monday) i went for a walk early that morning for lack of anything better to do (i had been up since 4:30am).  this was my first venture out as a carless human being in like over 10 years.  i started out by crossing small neighborhood streets.  no big deal.  then i moved to crossing the BIG streets.  pushing the “cross” buttons and waiting for the walking man symbol to light up.  all by myself.  while waiting to see the walking man at 1 light, i randomly broke out and sang “the lion sleeps tonight…”.  i had sung the beginning of it in my head and for some reason, that part escaped and became vocal.  no clue why.  i kind of giggled there at the stop light, realizing how random that was.  kinda glad no one was around.

the first couple times i walked back from the gym in the early morning, i saw the same goose in the same exact spot on the sidewalk.  granted, it may not have been the same goose.  but i like to think it was.  i started telling him good morning when i saw him.  i named him Henry.  since then, i have come across large groups of goosen at that spot and now i can’t tell which one is Henry.  so they’re all Henry.  and i saw hi to them and ask them what’s up.  i’ve yet to hear a response though.

yesterday a guy in one of the other schools here walked by behind me and pulled my hair and said “BOING!  …i couldn’t help it, it’s so fun!”.  for a second i thought i was back in 1st grade.  then i remembered i had straight hair still when i was in 1st grade.  it was really funny.  i’m glad my curly hair can create fun for other people!

speaking of hair, tonight for outreach i went to the elderly/disabled people’s home.  this one man i talked to told me (twice) that he loved my hair, it was beautiful, and that it looked good on me.  ha :)

i think i have found my favorite Starbucks.  it’s right by our school (there are 2 right by our school…actually).  but the part i love is that when i went early one morning to do some work before breakfast, the 2 women working there were older and just…well…fun/motherly/grandma-y!  SO not your typical “hi i’m really cool and dress emo and have my own unique style which isn’t really unique because i look just like everyone else trying to look unique” Starbucks baristas.  i quite enjoyed it.

i NEED to recap what i’m learning!!  ugh..i need to just start making lists of things i need to do so i actually do them and don’t just talk about doing them.

keep it real.
~jen

This is me quickly soaking up 20 minutes of down time between lunch and class :) my bed is right next to the window. I planned it that way.



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This 1980's Toyota corolla rust bucket was our vessel to freedom on Sunday. We kept the a/c off to save gas. (giggling)


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typical week

here's what a typical week looks like for me:

MONDAY
7:30am Breakfast
8:00am-8:50am Quiet Time
9:00am - 10:30am Worship & Intercession
11:00am - 1pm Class (1 speaker comes each week and teaches the whole week on 1 topic)
1pm Lunch
2:00pm-3:30pm Class
3:45pm-5:25pm Work Duties
5:30pm-6pm Dinner
6:15pm-9pm Community Outreaches

TUESDAY
7:30am Breakfast
8:00-8:50am Quiet Time
9:00am-10:30am Class
10:30am-11am Snack Time!!! (one of the highlights - they make us food!!)
11:00am-1pm Class
1pm Lunch
2pm-3:30pm Director's Docket (like a pow-wow with our DTS and DTS director, recapping things, getting info, whatever)
3:45pm-5:25pm Work Duties
5:30pm-6pm Dinner
7pm-8:30pm "Create Night" (it's like an activity that everyone in the DTS has to do - this past week they brought in guitar teachers and put us in groups based on our guitar playing abilities and gave us all lessons! they gathered extra acoustics for those us who didn't bring one!)

WEDNESDAY
7:30am Breakfast
8am-8:50am Quiet Time
9am-10:30am Worship & Intercession
11am-1pm Class
1pm Lunch
2pm-3:30pm Creative Presentations/Outreach Prep
3:45pm-5:25pm Work Duties
5:30pm Dinner

THURSDAY
7:30am Breakfast
8am-8:50am Quiet Time
9am-10:30am Class
10:30am-11am Snack Time again!!!!!
11am-1pm Class (last class session of the week)
1pm Lunch
2pm-3:30pm Reflection (our DTS gets together and one of the staff leads discussion about the week's teaching)
3:45pm-5:25pm Work Duties
5:30pm Dinner

FRIDAY
7:30am Breakfast
8am-8:50am Quiet Time
9am-10:30am Worship & Intercession
11am-1pm Small Groups
1pm Lunch
2pm-3:30pm Outreach Prep
3:45pm-5:25pm Work Duties
5:30pm Dinner
6:15pm-10:30pm Kingdom Night Outreach (optional, outreach in LoDo - Lower Downtown Denver)

SATURDAY & SUNDAY
RELAX!!!!!!!!! HIKE!!!! CHURCH (wherever we want to go, we're just supposed to go somewhere)!!!! catch up on missed phone calls :) there are usually things going on that you can do if you want, like hiking trips.

my job for work duties is housekeeping/kitchen clean up. 1 week i do housekeeping and the next week i do lunch and dinner clean up. for housekeeping i clean as many bathrooms as i can with 3 other people. when it's a week where i'm doing lunch/dinner clean up, that means i get from 3:45pm-5:30pm OFF! I LOVE THESE WEEKS! when i have housekeeping, i have to get up around 5:30am to get a workout in at the Y (about a 15-20 minute walk away). but the weeks that i have kitchen clean up, i use that 3:45pm-5:30pm to get my workout in!! ahh those are great weeks :)

Rainy Tuesdays

Days like these make me wonder if I can mentally survive 7 weeks in cold, dark Norway.

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Tasty little treat

I was cold. I was hungry. So I put on my winter coat and my beanie and walked over to the grocery store. I found this big piece of carrot cake on sale for $1! Mmm :)


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the reoccurring theme

when shane drove me to the airport to fly to Denver, he kept telling me that this was a chance to start fresh.  coming to denver, nobody has pre-conceived notions of who jen is.  nobody knows me.  i can become the person God created me to be and not who people expect me to be.  i liked that concept.

tuesday morning last week (week 1) we had worship.  during worship, i felt God was showing me that i’ve let sin/satan dictate who i believe that i am.  i had always kind of just accepted that i am a person who lets fear hold her back, a person who lets anxiety overtake sometimes, etc.  that’s “just who i am”.  but that’s not true.  just because people expect me to be a certain way doesn’t make it right and doesn’t mean that’s how God’s created me to be.

friday morning during quiet time, i meditated on Psalm 139 where i am told that i am wonderfully and complexly made by the Creator of the universe (God).  He knew me before i was born, He knit me together in my mother’s womb.  i love that passage – i often have to remind myself of it when i’m feeling insecure or worthless.

during Friday’s worship time, a guy from another school here that i didn’t know came up to me and said, “i keep getting a ‘word’ for you – is it ok if i pray for you?” skeptical but curious, i nodded my head “yes” (it was pretty loud, the worship was still going on).  he said the word he kept getting was “transformation” and that he felt God telling him He wanted to transform me during this time.  being the skeptic that i often am when it comes to that type of stuff (i’m working on being open…), i thought it was cool but i also kinda thought “that is so vague – obviously anyone here for DTS is anticipating to be changed”.  but i still thought it was cool, and it was biblical, so i believe it was the Holy Spirit prompting him.  he also felt like God wanted to remind me i was beautiful to Him – which was cool too because just that morning i had meditated on Psalm 139.

anyway, this monday, in the first teaching session (this week’s speaker spoke on the Character of God), the first point the speaker made was that the goal of Christianity is – wait for it -- transformation. 

just seems to be a reoccurring theme that God keeps bringing up for me.

living in great anticipation of what He wants to do…

keep it real.
-jen

Smiling's my favorite

2 people told me (at different times) today that I'm always smiling.

At first I apologized. Then they told me not to apologize, that it was a great thing.

And so...

I continue smiling.

:D


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confession.

i got to the YWAM base Sunday night.  it’s Thursday night.  i haven’t taken a single shower at the base yet.

everybody gasp in disgust.

are you finished?

ok now are you finished?

:)

ok now i’ll tell the rest of the truth –  i’ve been showering at the YMCA (yes, mom, i’m taking showers.  tell andy i’m using body wash, too).  :)  dude – the Y has brought such sweet excitement to me!  i found an indoor volleyball court there and found a ball and played against the wall the first morning after my workout!  so stoked that i have access to it!  hoping to be able to play if there is a league or anything going on there.  also – the showers are so great!  at the base, 2 showers are shared by at least 10+ girls.  so not only is it chaos to get a shower in the morning, the hot water also probably runs out.  there’s so much more space to get ready at the Y and they have shampoo, conditioner, and body wash – oh and towels!  it’s sweeeet!

so this week has been a lot of class time of introduction-type stuff.  learning about fundraising, going over the rules/guidelines/assignments/etc.  last night we watched a video of a message Loren Cunningham gave back in like…1968 or something.  it was really good, all about relinquishing our rights, our life, for the sake of the Gospel.

we’ve also had “bonding” time, where everyone in our DTS shared their testimony with the group.  and guess what.  :)  by the grace of God, i was able to give my testimony!  i was one of the first people to go – i knew if i put it off ‘til the next session, i wouldn’t be able to each much and i would be fighting anxiety.  so i did it!  definite props to God on that one – it was cool.  the first of many opportunities to rely on God’s strength in my weakness!

this is the park we went to this afternoon for the rest of our “bonding” time – people gave their testimonies.  it was beautiful :)  it was called majestic park or something.

i found out a little more about the norway and mexico city trips.  the biggest thing i learned is that norway is geared more toward friendship-evangelism – building relationships with people over the 7 week period and evangelizing thru those relationships. mexico city is more street evangelism, reaching people on street corners and such.  i’m leaning more toward norway right now – my heart is geared toward relationship evangelism.  i’ve done the street evangelism stuff before and personally…i just haven’t seen much fruit from it.  it works, God can definitely use it.  but i personally prefer to build relationship first.

the internet has been out most of the week.  so i’m writing this offline and will upload it when i get access (which…you don’t really care, because if you’re reading this, that means i got access…).  :)

i’m doing a lot better than i was monday (day 1 post).  praise God the nauseous feeling, headache, and lack of appetite lasted mainly just the 1 day.

someone should probably go to bed soon.  oh ok, fine – i’ll be that person.  i’ll sacrifice.  you can stay up – don’t worry – i’ll go to bed for you.

OH!  1 more thing.  tomorrow night some of us at the base are going to play ultimate frisbee!  so stoked!  so excited to just be active with people.

ok for real – i’m ending this.

keep it real.
~jen~

day 1

this post might be a little short and to the point and lacking on the details – i’m nauseous, my head hurts, and i can’t stop yawning.  :)  a lot of it is probably from the altitude change.  it should pass in a couple days – hopefully!

i can’t skip straight to day 1 though – i have to first praise God for yesterday, the day i flew out to Denver.  totally overwhelmed by His peace!  i know i had so many friends praying for me and it was awesome to experience the power of prayer in such a real, tangible way.

shane took me to the airport, so i said bye to my parents in the morning…

then my girls at church…

then Shane (and Zeva)…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i tried to make conversation with the girl on the 1st flight (something i don’t normally do).  she kept giving me 1 word answers and not asking me anything back.  so…i resorted to my ipod.  :P 

ok now day 1

no one told me day 1 may be a struggle.  which is probably good, i guess.  but yeah – just the change of being with people you don’t know at all, in a place you’ve never been.

but i’ve met some really cool people.  last night i was in my room all by myself – now i have 7 other roommates!  it was kinda nice last night being able to unpack and get settled in.

this morning i woke up at 4:30am (or earlier – that’s when i finally checked my clock).  never fell back asleep – still on east coast time (obviously).  went for a walk at 7am, found the YMCA and got a membership.

ok my stomach hurts.  that’s all for today :)

The journey has begun!

I am on the plane from fort lauderdale to Tampa! Feeling great - full of peace! I know it is only by God's strength. His grace is sufficient!

Thank you to everyone who is praying for me today! I have gotten so many encouraging texts and phone calls!

The adventure has begun! I am on the plane. I am committed! ...finally :)

I'm trying to take a decent picture of me on the plane and it is NOT working...does anyone actually look good in plane pictures?

Just imagine me relaxed and smiling :)


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Umm...?

So I'm at the chiropractor/total wellness center right now getting a cellular cleanse...? I have no idea what it's doing...hahaha supposedly my nerve scans show I've been exposed to chemical toxins of some kind sometime during my life and this is supposed to...cleanse my cells? Jen has no idea...







...and then it turned green with chunkies...what is this?! Where did they come from?? I can't feel my legs...



Ok just kidding, I can still feel my legs. False alarm.

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A great day

Today was a great day. :) God just really loved on me, showing me I can do things I didn't think I could. Actually, He's been doing that a lot lately.

It started with the tiniest thing. See, when I was little, I hated going to the eye doctor because he'd blow this puff of air in your eye. Traumatized me. Ever since, when I've gone to other eye doctors I ask them like 5 times if they're going to blow air in my eye. Haha :) so I hadn't had it done since I was like...9 or 10. Well a couple weeks ago I went to Walmart for an eye exam (first time without insurance=cheapest place I could find). And guess what. The torturous blowing air machine of doom stood there before me. Instead of freaking out though, I just bit the bullet and did it. And - surprise, surprise - it was SO not a big deal! Nothing like I remembered it. I actually started smiling super big after the first eye. The doctor probably thought I was weird. Haha :)

Once again, I made a tiny little thing out to be a big deal that turned into a long time fear.

Yesterday I got to go out to lunch with Tiff (1st time ever!) at the Island. It was so great to go out one on one, enjoy good food, and talk about God.
Today I found out there's a YMCA just a 1/2 mile from YWAM!!

I went out to lunch with Andy (1st time ever!) at Burdine's. Great talks with the bro.

Then Shane let me ride on the Harley with him over the 7 mile bridge to Big Pine and back! And I didn't freak out and claw him to death (sorry about that one time, buddy...). Haha :)

It's like God's giving me little things to say "look. you can do more than you think you can. And you can do SO MUCH more by My grace and strength than you could ever imagine! But you have to step out of what's comfortable and trust Me."




90mph over the 7 Mile Bridge with the top down. Pure insanity. Thought my face was going to fly off. Loved it. Couldn't stop smiling...still smiling.

what am i doing?

i'm trading tropical paradise for snow - however, it's snow in Denver and really - it can't be that bad then, can it?
i'm leaving my car and will be car-less for the first time since i got my license (10 years ago).
i'm leaving my job where i make more than enough $ to live and live comfortably.
i'm leaving my community of friends that i love soooooo much.
i'm throwing myself into a situation where i don't know anybody and facing fears that i've always been handcuffed by. the last time i threw myself into something like that, i failed...miserably.

but this is different. i'm doing this in hopes of being fully surrendered to God. to show Him that fear has no hold on my life anymore and i am completely surrendered to His leading.

i have absolutely no idea what God has planned for me. no clue what will come of my adventure with YWAM. no idea what will be next. but that stokes me! i'm finally doing something with my life that requires me to just live by faith - and that is where true adventure is.

God, be glorified.

Soaking it up

Laying out at the beach, Bob Marley on the iPod. I just don't envision myself having many opportunities like this in Denver...

Soaking it up :)

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decision: made

after months upon months of restlessness and confusion as to what to do next with my life, i'm finally heading a direction.

what: YWAM Denver Musician's DTS (Discipleship Training School)
when: Sept. 27, 2010 - Feb. 11, 2011
where: Denver (in case you didn't catch that already)

stoked. scared out of my mind. but completely stoked to see what God does in and thru me.

how i came up to this decision:
i want to write down how i came to this decision so i can look back on it in the future and remember God's fingerprints. i'll try to keep it concise. i flew out to Lynchburg, VA on Aug. 12 to visit friends. on the flight out, i listened to one of Francis Chan's last messages before he resigned. he was passionately urging people to re-evaluate their lives and look at what they're really living for. it went right along with what i've been feeling this whole year - a restlessness, an urgency to do more with my life that will have an eternal impact on other's lives. an unquenchable desire to do something that causes me to step out in faith and truly rely on God and not myself. and so after hearing this podcast on my ipod, i begged God to give me some direction while i was in Lynchburg - while i had time away from my job and normal life. that was a Thursday. on Sunday, Marissa suggested looking into the Peace Corps. i had never considered that, so i thought i might as well look it up - after all, i had specifically asked God to lead me in some way over this long weekend in L'burg. so Monday morning i had some time to myself and so i pulled up the Peace Corps on the web and looked thru the site and came to the conclusion it was not for me - i want to do something where i am spreading the love of Jesus and you can't freely do that in a government-run organization. so i started googling. i love the googler. i started googling "Christian alternative to peace corps" and stuff like that and YWAM popped up.
i knew very little about YWAM, except that my friend Ashleigh from the Keys went to YWAM Hawaii last year and LOVED it. i had no clue there were so many YWAM bases. the first step of YWAM is to do a DTS (Discipleship Training School). so i was looking at places you could do them. then i found out there are general DTS's and then there are DTS's geared toward specific interests. i found YWAM Denver and saw they had a snow boarder's DTS that started in Jan. 2011 - dude, seriously? sounded sweet - but i've never snowboarded. always wanted to, but never have gotten the chance. then i saw they do a musician's DTS...which started Sept. 27, 2010. i thought "no way - that's way too soon and plus - that'd be throwing myself into a real challenge (i'll explain why later)". so i kinda set that one aside but kept it in mind. then i found a couple bases in Australia (dude, how sweet would that be??) that had DTS's geared toward surfers and the beach culture. perfect! starting in Jan. and Feb. 2011. plenty of time to apply, save up some more $, get a Visa, etc.
needless to say, i was STOKED that monday in l'burg. God had clearly answered my pleading!! after soooo long, i FINALLY had direction!
so i flew home that Tuesday (like...Aug. 19th i think?). Wednesday night i ran my newest idea by Shane and when i quickly passed over the musician's DTS, he stopped me and challenged me to pursue that one first. i thought he was crazy - it started way too soon (1 1/2 months away at the time), i was sure they weren't taking applications anymore, and plus...that would be probably the most challenging of all the DTS's for me to do (yes, even more than going all the way to Australia - and again, i'll explain why later). but he pushed for me to at least apply and see if God opened the door or not, and if not - then pursue Australia.
so. i did. i emailed YWAM Denver, found out it wasn't too late to apply, and quickly got all the application stuff filled out and mailed in. last tuesday i found out i got accepted. 3 weeks from today it starts. my work doesn't even know yet. haha :)

i have been a rollercoaster of sorts ever since i found out i got accepted. from rationalizing reasons not to go, to super stoked-ness, to scared out of my mind, to excited despite being scared out of my mind (that's where i'm at at this current moment - it could change at any minute - i'm tellin' ya...rollercoaster over here). but in the end - no matter how i feel - i ultimately know i need to do this. i do. just plain and simple. i prayed and prayed during the application process that God would make it clear if it was a good thing for me to do or not. if i didn't get accepted, fine, but if i got accepted, i would go in faith that God opened the door for a reason. my initial reaction when i found out i got in was...well, i won't put it on here because it'll offend some people. :) but it can be summed up with "oh no...what did i do?? what am i doing?? God...really?"

every stinkin' person i've told has been SO EXCITED for me...like seriously, every single person has erupted with this unexpected excitement and it blows me away! part of me thinks "oh...wow...people really want to get rid of me, don't they?" - hahaha :) i have received threats of physical beating if i don't go. 1 person is holding a $500 fine over my head, another is holding a $100 fine over my head, and another is lined up ready to hold another $100 fine over my head if i don't go. now that, my friends, is accountability. haha :)

but even with those threats of fines, and physical beatings (HA!), there have been times i've thought "you know what? it's not worth it - i'm going to just pay my friends off and not go". but i know i will be miserable if i pass up this opportunity God has thrown in my lap. fear has no place in my life.

this post is incredibly long.

The view from my bed

To Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever hope or imagine...
His grace is sufficient for me...
His strength is made perfect when I am weak...

I can jump and not fear failure...
Because He is my Abba, Father, and He is trustworthy...
He will pick me back up, tenderly wipe away my tears, and carry me forward...
He wants me to step out in faith and trust Him...

The adventure awaits...

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Times of refreshing

My view right now.
Got to stay in an empty house on the harbor last night.
Woke up to a quiet household.
Got coffee and a bagel.
Came back and saw dolphins in the harbor (twice) as I sat here.
Getting some serious, much needed alone time with my Abba.

Acts 3:19-20

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Drawings

First round:
1 - surg tech program
2 - coffee/smoothie shop ministry
3 - STS

Second round:
1 - Coffee/smoothie shop ministry
2 - STS
3 - STS


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choices

a friend loaned me a book to read called “Seizing Your Divine Moment – Dare to Live a Life of Adventure” by Erwin McManus.

i have been stuck in a rut for awhile, not feeling God calling me any specific direction but feeling like i could go 10 different ways with my life.  decisions are so much easier when you only have 2 options.  i used to get so flustered in the cafeteria at college because i’d walk in, get a tray, and then was faced with a multitude of food options and people everywhere.  half the time i’d get overwhelmed and just grab something, only to start eating it and wonder why in the world i chose it.  :P

rabbit trail, sorry. hopping back on now.

the first chapter in this book is called choices – choose to live.

“Our choices either move us toward God and all the pleasure that comes in Him or steer us away from Him to a life of shame and fear.”

our lives are filled with moments each day where we have to make choices.  some are tiny, but some will impact the rest of our life.  and then there’s the ultimate moment of choice: the choice to either accept or reject Jesus will impact our life for eternity.

but our lives are filled with all these moments throughout the day to either honor and bring glory to God or turn away from Him.  the choice to love or to turn the other way.  the choice to smile and share a little glimmer of Christ’s love to strangers or to keep a stone face and go about our own personal agenda.

“We have put so much emphasis on avoiding evil that we have become virtually blind to the endless opportunities for doing good.” (Chapter 2 – Initiative: Just Do Something!)

that is so true in my life.

the past 2 days (i just started reading this book) i have tried to put this stuff into practice.  trying to have such a view as i go about my day that i’m looking for opportunities to do good – opps to share Christ’s love in big or small ways.  and it has been so fun!  saying hi or having short conversations with people i see as i walk the dogs instead of turning down a different road to avoid having to talk to someone (yes, i do that way too much – guilty). helping out at the fam’s house with yard work.  going up and talking to a teenage girl from one of the youth groups that i know but have never really had a conversation with.

it’s really fun when i change my perspective on life to looking for opportunities to do good instead of focusing on my own life and trying to “avoid sinning”.  in essence, i think that focusing on my own life and just trying to get by as a “good Christian” is sinning because i’m being selfish and not sharing the love with Jesus every chance i get.

i’m lovin’ this book.