I cooked!!!

I made this all by myself this week!!! Fajitas!!!! Like...it wasn't frozen or premade! I cooked it on the stove!! No microwave! Ha! And it was edible!!!!

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sushi, chai, and kim walker

hi.

i wish i could share this moment with you so badly.  i wish i could just pluck you from wherever you are and plop you right in the room with me.  i am having a beautiful night.  sushi, followed by chai tea.  kim walker rockin’ it in the background.  mmmm :)

oops.  i just finished my chai.  that’s what i get for rubbing it in your face, i guess.

i am blessed.  for an infinite amount of reasons.  tonight i feel blessed to have the opportunity to be staying in an apartment by myself in the Keys.  i am blessed to have friends who open up their apartments to me so i can have a place to retreat to.  i don’t know how long i’ll be here.  a week.  2 weeks?  i plan to soak up every minute of it while it lasts.

i have 2 main reasons for wanting a place of my own.  1, i want a place i can have people over to and they can spend the night when they want.  i love my family, and living with them goes amazingly well, but it’s hard to have friends over because when you come to our house, you get the whole family experience.  :)  great family, just…not the type of atmosphere to cultivate deeper discussions and chill together.

(by the way, just put on “ocean surf” on my ipod – just the sound of the waves crashing and the occasional seagull without the poop – yesssss)

and the 2nd reason is i am really hoping to soak up the quiet time that i have here and draw ever so near to my Savior.  i want my heartbeat to match His heartbeat.  i want my desires to match His desires.  i want to know Him in a more intimate and real way.  i seek direction from Him right now.  i want so badly to have clear direction from Him.

i pray that i will use this place for those 2 specific reasons.  i moved some stuff in saturday (like my keyboard – quite essential).  and saturday night, Nat & Meg spent the night!!  ahhh such a blessing to be able to have a place to invite them to stay at!!  Jesus totally overwhelmed us with His love and beauty in creation and with time fellowshipping as sisters.  we all decided not to go to church Sunday morning and just take the morning to enjoy and savor.  so beautiful.

how cool is that – that the very 1st night i was here, God already allowed me to use it in the way i wanted to?  i pray that i actively seek others to come and hang out here.  i know it is so easy to get busy or think that so-and-so would probably rather do something else other than hang out with me.  or i could get selfish and enjoy the quietness too much.

my lava lamp from Lauren is squirting goo balls up and down.  and i don’t have internet here.  i love it.  i can write blogs while offline and post them later.  and i won’t be distracted with the internet.

i had a thought yesterday (i had more than 1 thought…just…this 1 stuck out.  i do think throughout the day, contrary to popular belief).  i, like many others in my community of friends, am seeking direction from God as to what to do, where to go, what He created me for.  and i am so stuck on trying to figure out exactly what it is God wants for me.  but talking with Nat & Meg yesterday, i thought – am i not trusting God to lead me?  to open the right doors and open them in His time?

i hope this is coming out right.  it made so much more sense in my head yesterday.  let me try again.

Psalm 37:4 (Scripture always just kinda says it best, doesn’t it?  let’s just go to Scripture) - “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

i am so worried about missing out on what God has created me to do.  that i’ll sit around and won’t take a chance on a direction because i want to be sure that’s what He wants me doing first.  i have been praying and continue to pray that God will give me desire, passion, and direction according to what He created me for.  according to the gifts and talents He has given me. 

and yet i worry that i’ll miss out on what He has for me.

isn’t that kind of like not trusting God?  is our God unjust, that He would ignore our cries for direction so that we may glorify Him to the fullest with our lives?  of course not! 

Matthew 7:11 - “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!”

seriously!  think about it.  delight yourself in the Lord and He WILL give you the desires of your heart.  He WILL guide you.  in HIS time.  and God is outside of our time – He created our “time”.  His timing is not always our timing.

i hope this makes sense.  it’s still not coming out as eloquently as i heard it in my head yesterday.  may God take my un-eloquent words and use them for His glory. :)

Dinner

Doesn't this just look good? I made this tonight. Don't get excited. It was a frozen meal. Totally cheating. But it looks nice in the bowl. And the countertop in the background.

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Houston part 2

i need to finish my Houston recap before it gets too far in the past.

i left off on Saturday. so...

SATURDAY
we all took our time getting around Saturday morning. drank coffee and each picked a piece of the living room to curl up in and spend some alone time with our Abba. then we introduced Nicki to our typical "Keys" breakfast we do when friends are in town - crepes! mmmm. we then walked around the neighborhood in the bright sunny skies (though it was a little cold but not bad - 50's probably).

when we got back to the house, we saw Richard (the owner) and he took us for a tour of his museum of art. crazy.

then we proceeded by going into the barn and pulling out Lisa's 2 kayaks and carrying them over to the small man-made pond on the property and went kayaking. haha no, really, we did. Lisa had wanted to do it and take close-up pics so it looked like we were on the ocean or a lake and then do a zoomed-out shot that showed how small the pond really was. it was so much fun! (i really need to go back and put pics up of all these things)

after that Lisa took us into Tomball and we went to a few stores and saw downtown Tomball. that place is sweet - it's really an old-school downtown and the stores are still alive and people are...there. unlike a lot of downtown places that have gone to the dumps. we went to this old old grocery store called "Kleins" and it was so cool - they played old music and most of the people working were old and it was just so old-fashioned.

then we went for a walk in one of the parks near Lisa's house.

Lisa then took us for some good ol' tejas bbq. (we ate a lot on this trip. a lot of good food.)

then we rushed home and filled the Element with every big blanket and pillow we could find. grabbed leftover brownies and ginger snaps. headed for the drive-in movies!! ahhhh sooooo fun! cold, but fun! we were all so bundled up in the back of Ellie. the movies were lame and i ended up trying to sleep thru the 2nd one because i didn't want to have bad memories of it (lovely bones - don't see it). the 1st movie was valentine's day. don't see that either. there was not 1 good, moral relationship in that movie. but the experience of the drive-in in 40/50 degree weather was fun!

Nicki spent Saturday night at the house with us again (she's great!!).

SUNDAY
Sunday morning, Lisa, Rachel, and i went to Ecclesia for church. the Robbie Seay Band leads worship there when they're in town. it was a cool, uber trendy church that meets in a warehouse. good for building community. we then went out for lunch with some of the girls to Barkley's Cafe...or something like that. i got a flat iron steak and fries. yum. i love steak. and the seasoning on the fries was so good.

then Lisa took us to a couple cool thrift stores (Buffalo Exchange and Taxi Taxi). hit up Smoothie King (at my request) and stopped at one of Lisa's favorite coffee shops. we then headed to the park to see the ultimate frisbee crew. we got there late so we didn't play (and it was cold). but it was fun to see where she plays and meet some of the people she plays with. this park was crazy because it's like...in the middle of the city and the park's like in this small valley area. big buildings all around. completely opposite of Founder's park where we play beach vball and ultimate frisbee down here (ocean views). but it was neat.

then we went back to Lisa's and made dinner (spaghetti) and theeennnnn...MEGAN SHOWED UP!! she had called us Sunday morning on our way to church and said her and her friends were in New Orleans and were headed to Dallas on their spring break road trip and they wanted to stop by Lisa's and spend Sunday night before heading to Dallas!! i cannot capture the excitement and yelling that went on in the car during that phone call and after that call. we were all so stoked. megan rocks. like, seriously. and her friends are great - i knew Steph already and then met 2 other girls (Jillian and Jenny). we had so much fun with them, though it was a short time. Steph took us thru some of her "ab attack" routine (she teaches workout classes at her school) - see, we did exercise on this trip. :)

MONDAY
Monday morning we got up in time to make crepes with the girls. then Lisa took Rachel and i to the airport. sad.

ok that recaps everything i think. if you feel like something's missing, let me know (haha).

this girl's going to bed.

i'm spending the night at Nat's tonight - woohoo!! twice this week!

New Day

Spent the night at Natalie's last night after Bible study. Stayed up til almost 2am talking - mmm!! God has blessed me with some amazing sisters.
She sent me on my way this morning with fresh strawberries and French pressed coffee! It was a beautiful 50 minute drive over bridges and water and blue skies. Robbie Seay Band playing "New Day". Theme song of the day.

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mmmm -- vacation!

i'm on vacation with Rachel visiting Lisa in Houston. it has been so fun and refreshing! i think this is the first vacation i've had that i really needed. other vacations i took for the fun of it. this time is different - i have been so overwhelmed and stressed at work and with life and needed to get away from it all for a short time.

i just want to capture everything we've done so far so i can look back and remember :) so this post is more for my benefit.

Boone and Sara flew down for a Keys vacation on Wed. the 17th and flew out Wed. the 24th. Boone and i bought our tickets (hers to Ft. Lauderdale, mine to Houston) at the same time so we could fly out around the same time - it ended up being within 15 minutes of each other! perfect! i had a great time with the girls down in the Keys - my only regret was that i had to work so much of the time they were there :( despite my many hours spent at work, we still managed to get quite a bit in - wing night @ the Hurricane, coffee @ Leigh Ann's coffee shop (twice!), Friday night indoor vball, sailing, Sunday afternoon beach vball, dinner at El Siboney in Marathon...Sadie took them to the beach and a walk (Boone ran - lucky!) on the old 7 mile bridge. we had crazy weather - like rainy & cold 1/2 the time. so not typical for a Keys winter but the whole country has had a weird winter and we can't complain - at least it was still in the 60's/70's :)

it was so natural to have Boone in town - i have a few friends that are part of my family and she is one of them. (Mriss - i know you'll read this so you should know you are one of those too :) )

WEDNESDAY
so Wed. the 24th we all rode up to Ft. Lauderdale together in Zeva and went our separate ways at the airport. Rachel & i flew continental - they fed us on the plane!! sandwich, chips, dr ink, and a hershey's chocolate bar!! all for free! who DOES that these days?? :)

Lisa picked us up and we went straight to Mike & Libba's house to see Libba - such an amazing woman who's love for God just oozes out of her! everyone needs to meet Libba and spend time with her. her life has not been easy (specifically health-wise) and each day is a gift from God. we hung out with her for about an hour, then a few of the younger teachers from the school came over for their normal Wed. afternoon Bible study. they were all so sweet! we then went to dinner at this uber trendy sushi place with Lisa & her friend Nicole (she's great!) and it was sushi happy hour so the sushi was 1/2 off! our bill for 4 of us was like $20! the restaurant was so trendy - probably the most trendy place i've ever eaten :)

from sushi we went to the girl's Bible study at Nicki's house (young life leader - she is so cool! she spent the night with us at Lisa's last night and is sitting right by me on the couch right now :) ). mmm - this Bible study was so great! they are reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan (LOVE that book, by the way). the girls - oh the girls! i couldn't stop smiling the whole time. God is moving thru the group and it is so clear and evident. there is a hunger. mmm - that just stokes me!

 

we got home to Lisa's around 10 or 11pm.  she had these amazing “ice cream cones” for us – but it wasn’t  ice cream, it was this light merangue (spelling?!) thing and when we ate off the top, there were sweet notes inside!!!!  so special!

i also would like to add that Lisa often sets the heat in the house to 79.  she so rocks my face off!!!! 

THURSDAY
what a full day! got up, Lisa made us delicious whole wheat blueberry pancakes and turkey bacon. we then went on a walk around the property (birds chirping EVERYWHERE!) and then thru the neighborhood - crisp, cool morning and the sun was shining in the blue skies! the fresh air was so delightful (though...cold).

we then packed a picnic lunch and headed to one of Lisa's favorite nearby parks. ended up playing a little volleyball on the sand court (couldn't resist). then realized Ellie (Lisa's Element) had gotten yellow  paint speckled all over her because the lines on the road had just been repainted! so we went into Tomball and washer her. then went back to the park and ate our picnic lunch on a blanket in the sunshine.

after that we went into Downtown Houston to this like...museum district  place and walked thru a contemporary art museum (it was free) and then to this nearby park that reminded me so much of D.C. - long reflection pool and all. we walked thru a Japanese garden there and saw this turtle hinged on top of a rock with his back legs up in the air...we took pictures, i'll have to come back and put them in this blog. it was hilarious. despite it being winter, there were some beautiful pink flowered trees in the garden. very cool.

then we walked up a big hill and laid down and stared up into the sky.

but not for too long because we had more to do!

we stopped by the museum of science and looked thru the gift shop (Lisa took us to the museum gift shops first, then showed us the rest of the museum...that must be the cool way to do it. hehehe j/k Lisa ). we decided we didn't want to pay to see that museum so we walked back to Ellie and headed to Swirll.

oh - what is Swirll? you may ask. well let me tell you - amazing. that's what Swirll is. ha :) it's an ice cream shop where you fill your cup with as much ice cream as you want, and whatever combination of kinds. then you walk thru a little "buffet" area and add whatever toppings you want - lots of sweet treats and lots of fruit for the healthier ice cream indulgers :) then you go to pay and they weigh your cup and you pay by the weight!! how cool is that?? i got strawberry kiwi sorbet and topped it off with lots of fruit. mmmm! picture to follow.

from there we went to REI and Lisa got a couple things for her upcoming snowboard trip to CO (jealous). then went back up toward Tomball and ate at a fun Mexican restaurant called "Lupe Tortilla". Rachel had a queso milkshake. haha ok not really. but she did suck up the queso chip  dip thru a straw for a good photo moment. we followed dinner with a stop at Starbucks (in hindsight, shouldn't have done that - i was so full already!) and then Target. then went to the Silverado IMAX theater and saw Avatar in IMAX 3D - pretty sweeet! i normally wouldn't have gone to see Avatar (not my kind of movie) but i had heard so many great things about it and thought it'd be cool to see in imax 3D. very cool!

we got home around 11 i think.

FRIDAY
went to work with Lisa at 10 (she's the female "chaplain" at this college prep Christian high school). got to see a preview of the musical they're doing next week - Thoroughly Modern Millie. my college did that and i went and saw it and loved it - these high schoolers did a great job! i wish i could be here next week to see the whole show!

Rachel and i then joined up with the girls from the Bible study at lunch and had a time of singing worship and prayer during lunch (they started doing "Fasting Fridays" where they worship and pray during lunch instead of eating - how cool is that?). we started out on a hill top but then rain started moving in so we went inside to a classroom. this girl, Anna, leads the worship and she is so unique and cool! she reminds me of David Crowder - unique style and personality and they are very comfortable just being themselves. so great. and she loves Kim Walker so...shoot.

we then sat in on a presentation about Turkey (Lisa's helping lead a trip there this summer!). it was crazy because the presentation started out with this man from Turkey giving a slideshow presentation of his country and talking about what they'll see in Turkey and then there was Q & A time. started off with questions about Turkey and then people started asking questions about his career and how to make good career choices and all that. it was interesting to see that because it just shows some of the mentality at the school. not necessarily a bad thing i guess, just...not my mentality. :)

Rachel and i then hung out in the conference room next to Lisa's office for a little bit while she worked. when the school day was over we left and went rock climbing!!! my first time. so fun. loved it. sore today. we did that for a couple hours. it was cool too because the people there give you a quick instruction time on how to use the belay (ropes) and then  they turn you loose! so we got to belay each other and do whatever we wanted. did a little bouldering (no ropes) but found it more fun to do it with the ropes because then you got to climb all the way to the top :)

from there we hit up HEB (a grocery store) and went home to Lisa's to make steak (w/bernaisse sauce...i don't know how to spell that but it's yellow and we often have it with steak in the Keys), coconut rice, and corn. yum! followed up with brownies, ice cream, strawberries, and chocolate syrup. killin' me! so good. Nicki joined us and spent the night - it has been so fun getting to talk with her and getting to know one of the people Lisa loves so dearly out here.

SATURDAY
today. what will today hold? well we have all taken our time getting around this morning so far. it's after 10 and everyone is sitting around on big comfy leather couches here in the living room reading/journaling/praying. mmm the atmosphere is so tranquil and warm. we are going to make crepes for breakfast. might go around Tomball some. some of the girls from the Bible study are probably coming out this afternoon and we are going to the drive-in movies tonight! tomorrow is church at Ecclesia (can't wait) and not sure what will follow - lots of options!

while this vacation has been jam packed with so much greatness, i have also loved the mornings here! waking up whenever my body wakes up (which as been between 6 and 7), sneaking out to the living room and enjoying quietness with my Abba. mmm i miss Him so much when i don't get to spend alone time with Him! that has been a gift. i am so thankful for Lisa's like-mindedness. she knows how important it is. no matter how much we want to pack in out here, nothing compares to the importance of starting out the day surrendering all to our Almighty God and drawing near to Him.

so many thoughts whirling around in my head. Lisa's good at wanting to dig deep into people's lives and challenge them to not settle for comfortable. that is something i've been struggling with anyway, and coming out here and talking it out has only fueled it more. changes is in the near future. i can feel it. i can sense it. i know it needs to happen.

Father, guide me.
fuel my passions. my desires.
help me surrender my life to You daily.
help me step out and do things where i am weak so that You may show Yourself strong - for Your glory.
to live fully alive by Your Spirit within me.
i want to be doing what You created me to do.
to be using the gifts and talents You have given me.

Rainy Mondays

Mmm...sitting at Leigh Ann's drinking a soy chai latte and eating a scone with Boone and Sara. Raining all day. Boone and I have the laptop out and are planning out our Colorado/Wyoming roadtrip!


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I think i have Cuban blood...

I love old Cuban women. And I think they love me. Everytime I go to get lunch at Winn-Dixie, they load me up! Today she even gave me an extra side- the black beans!! This meal will last me 3 lunches probably. All for $5.99.


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Conquered #2

Fear conquered #1 was the cockroach. Yes, I threw it away!

Fear conquered #2 - lighting short stick matches!





The first regular size ("short") match I lit in my life was in college and as soon as it lit, I freaked out and threw it on the table. :) tonight, all alone in the house, I decided to conquer my fear. I lit 5 :) the first one was so fun I just had to do it again! ...and again...and again... :D

Baby steps.

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"Incase this truck has malfunctions and dies in the middle of the road, please do not push."

it just struck me as funny on the way to work. i just pictured myself trying to push it off the road.

random.

introducing...

Mr. Benjamin Andrew, born 2/1/10 @ 10:24pm! 7lb, 13oz and 20in long. my very first nephew!!
what a shock! the doctor had read my sister's ultrasound back in sept/oct '09 and determined it was another girl (niece #3). apparently, this little stud muffin was feeling mischevious that day and hid those oh-so-significant parts from the camera. i will forever remember the moment we all found out it was a boy! the story is to come - i'm keeping this short tonight.

in other news, don't you just love those moments where you receive confirmation from God that you made a good decision about something? tonight i get a call from shane, my friend who sold my Escape for me back in November of last year. he says "you'll never guess who just called me - the guy who bought your Escape..." and my heart stopped (well, not literally, don't worry). long story short, the guy's friend was driving it for him back from Texas or something and they had just gotten back into the Keys and the transmission locked up - aka, the transmission blew! my first thought was - "oh no...he must be so mad at me!" - i had no idea the transmission would have problems! but thankfully he was just calling shane to see if he had a number for a good towing company - the guy was glad he still had shane's number!

and earlier today i had been telling Zeva how much i love her (yes, i talk to my car - get over it).

i felt only relief and excitement over selling my Escape and have never regretted it. i have felt only joy and excitement over my Scion xB. and this just affirms to me that it was the right thing to do! what a blessing!

and you know those times when you look back and realize you made a really bad decision and are now having to face the consequences. i'm having one of those moments right now. i was so stinkin' tired at work from going going going since Sunday morning and i got home and after dinner realized someone had made coffee at our house (a rare thing for in the evening). so i drank 1/2 a cup, not knowing if it was regular or decaf. pretty sure it was regular. i'm wide awake now. shoot.

hey it's 10:24pm - Ben's 2 day birthday! i should throw a party...by myself...since i'm apparently the only one still up in this house full.

Zeva

This is Zeva. Or as some lovingly call her - "the Toaster". I love her. She sips gas and is so big inside. And she's a manual. I found her about 2 months ago, homeless and wanting an owner to love her. Awww, Zeva :)

And I am loving this blog app - I don't get on my computer much outside of work so I don't update this as much as i'd like. This makes it easier, atleast to put up short things. And pics!!

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Trying this out

I just got an app on my phone to try and make posting to my blog easier. I'm testing it. :) and now to add a pic to it...




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fear

turning 26 has been a turning point for me. it's weird, you know? every year your birthday rolls around and everyone asks "so do you feel older?" - knowing that nobody really feels "older" or any wiser on their birthday. you don't magically wake up on that special day and feel like a different person. that never happens. your birthday comes and goes and life goes on as normal.

or does it?

i'm telling you, this birthday season has been so different. i think the start of it happened on my birthday when my friend asked me why i hate celebrating my birthday so much and they said "you should celebrate! God has given you a start to a new year! He's created you and He has given you life!" (see post below)

God has given me this life, hasn't He? He gives me each breath that i take. He sustains me. and buenos noches, He has kept me on this earth thus far for a reason.

i have so much swirling around within me. weird, right? i feel change needing to happen. challenges needing to be faced. a life to be lived to the fullest. to do things that seem impossible to me and are only possible by the power of the Holy Spirit living within me.

and fears to be conquered.

i'm working thru Beth Moore's Bible study called "Living Beyond Yourself" - it's about the fruit of the Spirit. each week deals with a different aspect of the fruit. this week has been on peace. it hit me today that fear is the absence of peace. an absence of the fruit of the Spirit. fear is not believing God is completely who He says He is. fear is not relying on His strength and provision, His sovereignty (i think i spelt that wrong - i can never remember how to spell that great word).

don't get me wrong - we are to fear God. a reverent, "in awe" type of fear.

but all other fears (generally speaking) point to an underlying distrust in God, don't they? if you stop and analyze a certain fear that you have, i think you'll probably see it.

Jesus tells His disciples and those He speaks to "Do not be afraid" numerous times. Take John 14:27, for example:

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

God offers us peace that transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

i have this giddiness inside of me now to shut out fear when it enters my mind. to not let fear rule me. even in small things. there's this cockroach at my friend's house that has been sitting dead in the corner of the room for weeks, if not months. and he won't pick it up. he keeps saying i have to throw it away because i was the one who found it. i hate cockroaches. hate them. and i've been refusing to throw the dead specimen away because i don't want to touch it. but you know what? that fear is stupid. and it's unrealistic. and basta ya! i'm going to throw that thing away!

...yes, that's a very small fear to conquer. :P but it's a step. and i get this excitement at the idea of being approached by fear and facing it head on. tearing down the lies surrounding it. and putting my full faith in my all powerful Abba.

bring it on.

26 years ago today...

...i was born.

yes, folks. today is my birthday. and yes, i just admitted that.

normally i try to keep my birthday so under wraps that i counted it a great birthday if no one remembered (although people always did...).

i was reminded today by a friend that i ought to celebrate. God has given me a beginning to a new year. He has blessed me with so much. He created me. i am unique and wonderfully created by the One and Only God. the Creator and Sustainer of Life.

so, yes. today is my birthday. and i'm going to celebrate that life God has given me.

here's to a new year. a year of new adventures. new beginnings. taking on challenges. pushing myself to step out in faith where i have to fully rely on my strong and mighty God to carry me.

26, here i come.


and hi Val!! i was so excited to see your comment - you still checked this thing over the years! you are so faithful!!! :)

carless

so - i sold my car last weekend! that was an answer to prayer. i didn't owe any money on her, but her ability to eat gas at a high rate bugged me and drove me nuts! i didn't think anyone would want her - she was really fun to drive (an Escape) but she had some dents. but - i sold her!

so now i'm carless for the first time since i totaled my car when i was 17 (which, by the way, was NOT my fault - let's just go on the record here). i feel like i'm back in jr. high. not having a car makes you incredibly dependent on other people. and plans have to change when you can't get a ride.

and so here i sit at work, waiting for a ride. waiting, waiting, waiting. but that's ok. i sold my car. i'm relieved.

now i need a new car. and car shopping drives me nuts because i'm so picky when it comes to vehicles! you know how some people could care less and they're like "as long as it runs, i'm happy"? yeah - i'm not one of those. i want great gas mileage, a big vehicle, and it has to be a manual. all for not a lot of $$. oh and preferrably a Honda or Toyota.

good luck with that, jen.

today is the day!

1 year of no soda!!!!!!!!!!! specifically, coke, but all soda!!!!

it wouldn't be a big deal for some people to go a whole year, but...shoot, it has been huge for me!

so - why did i do it? a couple reasons. i had started working out regularly at the gym and knew i wouldn't get the results i wanted if i kept loading my body with that high fructose corn syrup junk. but i also didn't want to be "dependent" on soda anymore.

it was a long a road. it started out as a 1-week $100 bet i may. then i had a few cokes. then i did a 1-month bet. after a month, i decided to try for 3 months since i was already a month into it. so i went 3 months. then i had a few cokes. then November 18th of last year i had a chocolate coke and donuts on a road trip home from nashville and...well...let's just say it all came out the wrong end (it went north, not south). so then i didn't even want coke for a month or so and that's when i decided to just try going a full year.

and i can now say i have done it!! whenever i was close to giving in, i reminded myself that Jesus is better. any short term craving i may have, Jesus is completely able and worthy to fulfill all my desires.

woohoo!

holy anguish.

I listened to “Holy Anguish” – a message Francis Chan gave a little bit ago. First off, download it on itunes and listen. Like…really. Do it now. My summary of it will not do it justice.

What kinds of things do you feel deep sorrow over? Loss of a loved one. Loss of a job. Tragedy in friend’s lives. The Broncos going 6-0 this year and then losing to Baltimore…  (I had to throw that in there…I’m sorry…those who know me know I can’t be too serious for any extended length of time.)

No, but really – how often do you really feel deep sorrow over something?

"With Christ as my witness, I speak with utter truthfulness. My conscience and the Holy Spirit confirm it. My heart is filled with bitter sorrow and unending grief for my people, my Jewish brothers and sisters. I would be willing to be forever cursed—cut off from Christ!—if that would save them." Romans 9:1-3 (NLT)

What did Paul anguish over? He didn’t anguish over his own personal struggles (thrown in jail numerous times, beaten, persecuted in so many more ways than we ever are). He anguished over those who didn’t know Jesus Christ as their Savior.

He anguished over the lost.

Ahhhh. Seriously? When is the last time I really anguished over people going to Hell? It’s been awhile. I’ve gone through spurts where I was very much aware of this tragedy at hand, but I had lost the sense of urgency.
Supposedly there’s an actor or comedian or someone on youtube who talks about his encounter with an evangelist and even though he was an atheist, he said how he respected the evangelist for…I can’t remember what – again, I haven’t seen the video. But he says, in regards to all the other Christians who don’t share the Gospel with others, “How much do you have to hate someone to not tell them about hell?”

Ouch.

Think about it. If you are a follower of Christ, you believe the Gospel of Jesus Christ and realize your need for a perfect Lamb’s blood to be the ultimate sacrifice to satisfy a perfect and just God. And you know that you will spend eternal life in Heaven…in Paradise…because you believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And you know that those who do not believe and choose to go their own way will spend eternity in Hell, absolutely alone and in utter turmoil that we cannot even imagine.
Why are we (yes, we) not anguishing over this fact?!
Francis Chan goes on to tell about a reoccurring dream a friend of his keeps having. This guy used to play basketball for the Lakers. In his dream, his fellow teammates, who he had spent years playing basketball with day in and day out, are in hell and he’s not. And they look at him with this look on their face that says “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS?! You didn’t say anything because you wanted me to like you?!”

Too often I don’t share the saving message of Jesus Christ with others because I don’t know how they’ll react. I’m afraid they won’t believe it. I’m afraid they’ll ask questions I don’t have answers to. I’m afraid I’ll drive a wedge between us.
What a stupid list of reasons. People I see every day are going to Hell and I don’t share with them the beautiful truth that God has provided a means of justification that is in no way something I can earn but is instead a free gift to everyone who just believes.

Pathetic.

May I…may you…may we be overwhelmed with awareness to this Truth. May the sense of urgency greatly increase.

If you didn’t listen to the podcast yet, go do it.

I can't figure out how to post pictures and text at the same time :)

The pic below is from this morning. I was sitting on a bench at the beach, enjoying the overcast and windy weather!! So fun! It was about 78 but with the wind it was cooler and I got to wear a zip up hoodie!! Maybe a little overkill, but us Keys people take any chance we can get to wear a hoodie :)