typical week

here's what a typical week looks like for me:

MONDAY
7:30am Breakfast
8:00am-8:50am Quiet Time
9:00am - 10:30am Worship & Intercession
11:00am - 1pm Class (1 speaker comes each week and teaches the whole week on 1 topic)
1pm Lunch
2:00pm-3:30pm Class
3:45pm-5:25pm Work Duties
5:30pm-6pm Dinner
6:15pm-9pm Community Outreaches

TUESDAY
7:30am Breakfast
8:00-8:50am Quiet Time
9:00am-10:30am Class
10:30am-11am Snack Time!!! (one of the highlights - they make us food!!)
11:00am-1pm Class
1pm Lunch
2pm-3:30pm Director's Docket (like a pow-wow with our DTS and DTS director, recapping things, getting info, whatever)
3:45pm-5:25pm Work Duties
5:30pm-6pm Dinner
7pm-8:30pm "Create Night" (it's like an activity that everyone in the DTS has to do - this past week they brought in guitar teachers and put us in groups based on our guitar playing abilities and gave us all lessons! they gathered extra acoustics for those us who didn't bring one!)

WEDNESDAY
7:30am Breakfast
8am-8:50am Quiet Time
9am-10:30am Worship & Intercession
11am-1pm Class
1pm Lunch
2pm-3:30pm Creative Presentations/Outreach Prep
3:45pm-5:25pm Work Duties
5:30pm Dinner

THURSDAY
7:30am Breakfast
8am-8:50am Quiet Time
9am-10:30am Class
10:30am-11am Snack Time again!!!!!
11am-1pm Class (last class session of the week)
1pm Lunch
2pm-3:30pm Reflection (our DTS gets together and one of the staff leads discussion about the week's teaching)
3:45pm-5:25pm Work Duties
5:30pm Dinner

FRIDAY
7:30am Breakfast
8am-8:50am Quiet Time
9am-10:30am Worship & Intercession
11am-1pm Small Groups
1pm Lunch
2pm-3:30pm Outreach Prep
3:45pm-5:25pm Work Duties
5:30pm Dinner
6:15pm-10:30pm Kingdom Night Outreach (optional, outreach in LoDo - Lower Downtown Denver)

SATURDAY & SUNDAY
RELAX!!!!!!!!! HIKE!!!! CHURCH (wherever we want to go, we're just supposed to go somewhere)!!!! catch up on missed phone calls :) there are usually things going on that you can do if you want, like hiking trips.

my job for work duties is housekeeping/kitchen clean up. 1 week i do housekeeping and the next week i do lunch and dinner clean up. for housekeeping i clean as many bathrooms as i can with 3 other people. when it's a week where i'm doing lunch/dinner clean up, that means i get from 3:45pm-5:30pm OFF! I LOVE THESE WEEKS! when i have housekeeping, i have to get up around 5:30am to get a workout in at the Y (about a 15-20 minute walk away). but the weeks that i have kitchen clean up, i use that 3:45pm-5:30pm to get my workout in!! ahh those are great weeks :)

Rainy Tuesdays

Days like these make me wonder if I can mentally survive 7 weeks in cold, dark Norway.

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Tasty little treat

I was cold. I was hungry. So I put on my winter coat and my beanie and walked over to the grocery store. I found this big piece of carrot cake on sale for $1! Mmm :)


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the reoccurring theme

when shane drove me to the airport to fly to Denver, he kept telling me that this was a chance to start fresh.  coming to denver, nobody has pre-conceived notions of who jen is.  nobody knows me.  i can become the person God created me to be and not who people expect me to be.  i liked that concept.

tuesday morning last week (week 1) we had worship.  during worship, i felt God was showing me that i’ve let sin/satan dictate who i believe that i am.  i had always kind of just accepted that i am a person who lets fear hold her back, a person who lets anxiety overtake sometimes, etc.  that’s “just who i am”.  but that’s not true.  just because people expect me to be a certain way doesn’t make it right and doesn’t mean that’s how God’s created me to be.

friday morning during quiet time, i meditated on Psalm 139 where i am told that i am wonderfully and complexly made by the Creator of the universe (God).  He knew me before i was born, He knit me together in my mother’s womb.  i love that passage – i often have to remind myself of it when i’m feeling insecure or worthless.

during Friday’s worship time, a guy from another school here that i didn’t know came up to me and said, “i keep getting a ‘word’ for you – is it ok if i pray for you?” skeptical but curious, i nodded my head “yes” (it was pretty loud, the worship was still going on).  he said the word he kept getting was “transformation” and that he felt God telling him He wanted to transform me during this time.  being the skeptic that i often am when it comes to that type of stuff (i’m working on being open…), i thought it was cool but i also kinda thought “that is so vague – obviously anyone here for DTS is anticipating to be changed”.  but i still thought it was cool, and it was biblical, so i believe it was the Holy Spirit prompting him.  he also felt like God wanted to remind me i was beautiful to Him – which was cool too because just that morning i had meditated on Psalm 139.

anyway, this monday, in the first teaching session (this week’s speaker spoke on the Character of God), the first point the speaker made was that the goal of Christianity is – wait for it -- transformation. 

just seems to be a reoccurring theme that God keeps bringing up for me.

living in great anticipation of what He wants to do…

keep it real.
-jen

Smiling's my favorite

2 people told me (at different times) today that I'm always smiling.

At first I apologized. Then they told me not to apologize, that it was a great thing.

And so...

I continue smiling.

:D


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confession.

i got to the YWAM base Sunday night.  it’s Thursday night.  i haven’t taken a single shower at the base yet.

everybody gasp in disgust.

are you finished?

ok now are you finished?

:)

ok now i’ll tell the rest of the truth –  i’ve been showering at the YMCA (yes, mom, i’m taking showers.  tell andy i’m using body wash, too).  :)  dude – the Y has brought such sweet excitement to me!  i found an indoor volleyball court there and found a ball and played against the wall the first morning after my workout!  so stoked that i have access to it!  hoping to be able to play if there is a league or anything going on there.  also – the showers are so great!  at the base, 2 showers are shared by at least 10+ girls.  so not only is it chaos to get a shower in the morning, the hot water also probably runs out.  there’s so much more space to get ready at the Y and they have shampoo, conditioner, and body wash – oh and towels!  it’s sweeeet!

so this week has been a lot of class time of introduction-type stuff.  learning about fundraising, going over the rules/guidelines/assignments/etc.  last night we watched a video of a message Loren Cunningham gave back in like…1968 or something.  it was really good, all about relinquishing our rights, our life, for the sake of the Gospel.

we’ve also had “bonding” time, where everyone in our DTS shared their testimony with the group.  and guess what.  :)  by the grace of God, i was able to give my testimony!  i was one of the first people to go – i knew if i put it off ‘til the next session, i wouldn’t be able to each much and i would be fighting anxiety.  so i did it!  definite props to God on that one – it was cool.  the first of many opportunities to rely on God’s strength in my weakness!

this is the park we went to this afternoon for the rest of our “bonding” time – people gave their testimonies.  it was beautiful :)  it was called majestic park or something.

i found out a little more about the norway and mexico city trips.  the biggest thing i learned is that norway is geared more toward friendship-evangelism – building relationships with people over the 7 week period and evangelizing thru those relationships. mexico city is more street evangelism, reaching people on street corners and such.  i’m leaning more toward norway right now – my heart is geared toward relationship evangelism.  i’ve done the street evangelism stuff before and personally…i just haven’t seen much fruit from it.  it works, God can definitely use it.  but i personally prefer to build relationship first.

the internet has been out most of the week.  so i’m writing this offline and will upload it when i get access (which…you don’t really care, because if you’re reading this, that means i got access…).  :)

i’m doing a lot better than i was monday (day 1 post).  praise God the nauseous feeling, headache, and lack of appetite lasted mainly just the 1 day.

someone should probably go to bed soon.  oh ok, fine – i’ll be that person.  i’ll sacrifice.  you can stay up – don’t worry – i’ll go to bed for you.

OH!  1 more thing.  tomorrow night some of us at the base are going to play ultimate frisbee!  so stoked!  so excited to just be active with people.

ok for real – i’m ending this.

keep it real.
~jen~

day 1

this post might be a little short and to the point and lacking on the details – i’m nauseous, my head hurts, and i can’t stop yawning.  :)  a lot of it is probably from the altitude change.  it should pass in a couple days – hopefully!

i can’t skip straight to day 1 though – i have to first praise God for yesterday, the day i flew out to Denver.  totally overwhelmed by His peace!  i know i had so many friends praying for me and it was awesome to experience the power of prayer in such a real, tangible way.

shane took me to the airport, so i said bye to my parents in the morning…

then my girls at church…

then Shane (and Zeva)…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i tried to make conversation with the girl on the 1st flight (something i don’t normally do).  she kept giving me 1 word answers and not asking me anything back.  so…i resorted to my ipod.  :P 

ok now day 1

no one told me day 1 may be a struggle.  which is probably good, i guess.  but yeah – just the change of being with people you don’t know at all, in a place you’ve never been.

but i’ve met some really cool people.  last night i was in my room all by myself – now i have 7 other roommates!  it was kinda nice last night being able to unpack and get settled in.

this morning i woke up at 4:30am (or earlier – that’s when i finally checked my clock).  never fell back asleep – still on east coast time (obviously).  went for a walk at 7am, found the YMCA and got a membership.

ok my stomach hurts.  that’s all for today :)

The journey has begun!

I am on the plane from fort lauderdale to Tampa! Feeling great - full of peace! I know it is only by God's strength. His grace is sufficient!

Thank you to everyone who is praying for me today! I have gotten so many encouraging texts and phone calls!

The adventure has begun! I am on the plane. I am committed! ...finally :)

I'm trying to take a decent picture of me on the plane and it is NOT working...does anyone actually look good in plane pictures?

Just imagine me relaxed and smiling :)


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Umm...?

So I'm at the chiropractor/total wellness center right now getting a cellular cleanse...? I have no idea what it's doing...hahaha supposedly my nerve scans show I've been exposed to chemical toxins of some kind sometime during my life and this is supposed to...cleanse my cells? Jen has no idea...







...and then it turned green with chunkies...what is this?! Where did they come from?? I can't feel my legs...



Ok just kidding, I can still feel my legs. False alarm.

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A great day

Today was a great day. :) God just really loved on me, showing me I can do things I didn't think I could. Actually, He's been doing that a lot lately.

It started with the tiniest thing. See, when I was little, I hated going to the eye doctor because he'd blow this puff of air in your eye. Traumatized me. Ever since, when I've gone to other eye doctors I ask them like 5 times if they're going to blow air in my eye. Haha :) so I hadn't had it done since I was like...9 or 10. Well a couple weeks ago I went to Walmart for an eye exam (first time without insurance=cheapest place I could find). And guess what. The torturous blowing air machine of doom stood there before me. Instead of freaking out though, I just bit the bullet and did it. And - surprise, surprise - it was SO not a big deal! Nothing like I remembered it. I actually started smiling super big after the first eye. The doctor probably thought I was weird. Haha :)

Once again, I made a tiny little thing out to be a big deal that turned into a long time fear.

Yesterday I got to go out to lunch with Tiff (1st time ever!) at the Island. It was so great to go out one on one, enjoy good food, and talk about God.
Today I found out there's a YMCA just a 1/2 mile from YWAM!!

I went out to lunch with Andy (1st time ever!) at Burdine's. Great talks with the bro.

Then Shane let me ride on the Harley with him over the 7 mile bridge to Big Pine and back! And I didn't freak out and claw him to death (sorry about that one time, buddy...). Haha :)

It's like God's giving me little things to say "look. you can do more than you think you can. And you can do SO MUCH more by My grace and strength than you could ever imagine! But you have to step out of what's comfortable and trust Me."




90mph over the 7 Mile Bridge with the top down. Pure insanity. Thought my face was going to fly off. Loved it. Couldn't stop smiling...still smiling.

what am i doing?

i'm trading tropical paradise for snow - however, it's snow in Denver and really - it can't be that bad then, can it?
i'm leaving my car and will be car-less for the first time since i got my license (10 years ago).
i'm leaving my job where i make more than enough $ to live and live comfortably.
i'm leaving my community of friends that i love soooooo much.
i'm throwing myself into a situation where i don't know anybody and facing fears that i've always been handcuffed by. the last time i threw myself into something like that, i failed...miserably.

but this is different. i'm doing this in hopes of being fully surrendered to God. to show Him that fear has no hold on my life anymore and i am completely surrendered to His leading.

i have absolutely no idea what God has planned for me. no clue what will come of my adventure with YWAM. no idea what will be next. but that stokes me! i'm finally doing something with my life that requires me to just live by faith - and that is where true adventure is.

God, be glorified.

Soaking it up

Laying out at the beach, Bob Marley on the iPod. I just don't envision myself having many opportunities like this in Denver...

Soaking it up :)

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decision: made

after months upon months of restlessness and confusion as to what to do next with my life, i'm finally heading a direction.

what: YWAM Denver Musician's DTS (Discipleship Training School)
when: Sept. 27, 2010 - Feb. 11, 2011
where: Denver (in case you didn't catch that already)

stoked. scared out of my mind. but completely stoked to see what God does in and thru me.

how i came up to this decision:
i want to write down how i came to this decision so i can look back on it in the future and remember God's fingerprints. i'll try to keep it concise. i flew out to Lynchburg, VA on Aug. 12 to visit friends. on the flight out, i listened to one of Francis Chan's last messages before he resigned. he was passionately urging people to re-evaluate their lives and look at what they're really living for. it went right along with what i've been feeling this whole year - a restlessness, an urgency to do more with my life that will have an eternal impact on other's lives. an unquenchable desire to do something that causes me to step out in faith and truly rely on God and not myself. and so after hearing this podcast on my ipod, i begged God to give me some direction while i was in Lynchburg - while i had time away from my job and normal life. that was a Thursday. on Sunday, Marissa suggested looking into the Peace Corps. i had never considered that, so i thought i might as well look it up - after all, i had specifically asked God to lead me in some way over this long weekend in L'burg. so Monday morning i had some time to myself and so i pulled up the Peace Corps on the web and looked thru the site and came to the conclusion it was not for me - i want to do something where i am spreading the love of Jesus and you can't freely do that in a government-run organization. so i started googling. i love the googler. i started googling "Christian alternative to peace corps" and stuff like that and YWAM popped up.
i knew very little about YWAM, except that my friend Ashleigh from the Keys went to YWAM Hawaii last year and LOVED it. i had no clue there were so many YWAM bases. the first step of YWAM is to do a DTS (Discipleship Training School). so i was looking at places you could do them. then i found out there are general DTS's and then there are DTS's geared toward specific interests. i found YWAM Denver and saw they had a snow boarder's DTS that started in Jan. 2011 - dude, seriously? sounded sweet - but i've never snowboarded. always wanted to, but never have gotten the chance. then i saw they do a musician's DTS...which started Sept. 27, 2010. i thought "no way - that's way too soon and plus - that'd be throwing myself into a real challenge (i'll explain why later)". so i kinda set that one aside but kept it in mind. then i found a couple bases in Australia (dude, how sweet would that be??) that had DTS's geared toward surfers and the beach culture. perfect! starting in Jan. and Feb. 2011. plenty of time to apply, save up some more $, get a Visa, etc.
needless to say, i was STOKED that monday in l'burg. God had clearly answered my pleading!! after soooo long, i FINALLY had direction!
so i flew home that Tuesday (like...Aug. 19th i think?). Wednesday night i ran my newest idea by Shane and when i quickly passed over the musician's DTS, he stopped me and challenged me to pursue that one first. i thought he was crazy - it started way too soon (1 1/2 months away at the time), i was sure they weren't taking applications anymore, and plus...that would be probably the most challenging of all the DTS's for me to do (yes, even more than going all the way to Australia - and again, i'll explain why later). but he pushed for me to at least apply and see if God opened the door or not, and if not - then pursue Australia.
so. i did. i emailed YWAM Denver, found out it wasn't too late to apply, and quickly got all the application stuff filled out and mailed in. last tuesday i found out i got accepted. 3 weeks from today it starts. my work doesn't even know yet. haha :)

i have been a rollercoaster of sorts ever since i found out i got accepted. from rationalizing reasons not to go, to super stoked-ness, to scared out of my mind, to excited despite being scared out of my mind (that's where i'm at at this current moment - it could change at any minute - i'm tellin' ya...rollercoaster over here). but in the end - no matter how i feel - i ultimately know i need to do this. i do. just plain and simple. i prayed and prayed during the application process that God would make it clear if it was a good thing for me to do or not. if i didn't get accepted, fine, but if i got accepted, i would go in faith that God opened the door for a reason. my initial reaction when i found out i got in was...well, i won't put it on here because it'll offend some people. :) but it can be summed up with "oh no...what did i do?? what am i doing?? God...really?"

every stinkin' person i've told has been SO EXCITED for me...like seriously, every single person has erupted with this unexpected excitement and it blows me away! part of me thinks "oh...wow...people really want to get rid of me, don't they?" - hahaha :) i have received threats of physical beating if i don't go. 1 person is holding a $500 fine over my head, another is holding a $100 fine over my head, and another is lined up ready to hold another $100 fine over my head if i don't go. now that, my friends, is accountability. haha :)

but even with those threats of fines, and physical beatings (HA!), there have been times i've thought "you know what? it's not worth it - i'm going to just pay my friends off and not go". but i know i will be miserable if i pass up this opportunity God has thrown in my lap. fear has no place in my life.

this post is incredibly long.

The view from my bed

To Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever hope or imagine...
His grace is sufficient for me...
His strength is made perfect when I am weak...

I can jump and not fear failure...
Because He is my Abba, Father, and He is trustworthy...
He will pick me back up, tenderly wipe away my tears, and carry me forward...
He wants me to step out in faith and trust Him...

The adventure awaits...

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Times of refreshing

My view right now.
Got to stay in an empty house on the harbor last night.
Woke up to a quiet household.
Got coffee and a bagel.
Came back and saw dolphins in the harbor (twice) as I sat here.
Getting some serious, much needed alone time with my Abba.

Acts 3:19-20

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Drawings

First round:
1 - surg tech program
2 - coffee/smoothie shop ministry
3 - STS

Second round:
1 - Coffee/smoothie shop ministry
2 - STS
3 - STS


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choices

a friend loaned me a book to read called “Seizing Your Divine Moment – Dare to Live a Life of Adventure” by Erwin McManus.

i have been stuck in a rut for awhile, not feeling God calling me any specific direction but feeling like i could go 10 different ways with my life.  decisions are so much easier when you only have 2 options.  i used to get so flustered in the cafeteria at college because i’d walk in, get a tray, and then was faced with a multitude of food options and people everywhere.  half the time i’d get overwhelmed and just grab something, only to start eating it and wonder why in the world i chose it.  :P

rabbit trail, sorry. hopping back on now.

the first chapter in this book is called choices – choose to live.

“Our choices either move us toward God and all the pleasure that comes in Him or steer us away from Him to a life of shame and fear.”

our lives are filled with moments each day where we have to make choices.  some are tiny, but some will impact the rest of our life.  and then there’s the ultimate moment of choice: the choice to either accept or reject Jesus will impact our life for eternity.

but our lives are filled with all these moments throughout the day to either honor and bring glory to God or turn away from Him.  the choice to love or to turn the other way.  the choice to smile and share a little glimmer of Christ’s love to strangers or to keep a stone face and go about our own personal agenda.

“We have put so much emphasis on avoiding evil that we have become virtually blind to the endless opportunities for doing good.” (Chapter 2 – Initiative: Just Do Something!)

that is so true in my life.

the past 2 days (i just started reading this book) i have tried to put this stuff into practice.  trying to have such a view as i go about my day that i’m looking for opportunities to do good – opps to share Christ’s love in big or small ways.  and it has been so fun!  saying hi or having short conversations with people i see as i walk the dogs instead of turning down a different road to avoid having to talk to someone (yes, i do that way too much – guilty). helping out at the fam’s house with yard work.  going up and talking to a teenage girl from one of the youth groups that i know but have never really had a conversation with.

it’s really fun when i change my perspective on life to looking for opportunities to do good instead of focusing on my own life and trying to “avoid sinning”.  in essence, i think that focusing on my own life and just trying to get by as a “good Christian” is sinning because i’m being selfish and not sharing the love with Jesus every chance i get.

i’m lovin’ this book.

i love lucy.

i’ve been house sitting all week (done today – CELEBRATE!) for 2 little dogs.  yesterday i was at my family’s house and had to go back to the house and let the dogs out.  i started my car to leave my family’s house and lucy comes running down the stairs asking if she can go.

me, being the good aunt that i am, inwardly did not want her to go (ha).  in the past when i’ve taken her with me to take care of dogs, every time she’s freaked out as soon as the dog looks at her and it’s just mad chaos as the dog’s barking, lucy’s crying, and i’m trying to figure out who to take care of first.

so when she asked, i asked her, “are you going to freak out on me when you see the dogs?” (…i really need to work on being nicer).  and she shook her head no and so i took her in to town with me.

as soon as i opened the door to the house and lucy saw the dogs, she wouldn’t come inside.  so i left her outside while i got the dogs on their leashes (mind you, they’re tiny – shi-tzus or something).  i come out of the house with the dogs and naturally they’re barking and all excited because they see someone new.  lucy starts backing away and i can tell she’s on the verge of breaking out in tears.  so i firmly said, “Lucy – you told me you were not going to freak out.  Now come on.” (…i REALLY need to work on being nicer, did i mention that?)

and what happened next i hope i never forget (hence the blog to remind me).  i saw like a switch get flipped in my niece.  in an instant, i could see the determination to not give in to fear come over her and she walked straight over to me calmly but quickly and we took the dogs on a short walk.

i wish i could’ve captured that moment so everyone could see.  her whole demeanor just like…BAM – switched from on the verge of freaking out to “OK.  I’m going to just do this.”  and she did.   and she was totally fine.  the whole time i knew she would be fine, the dogs would not hurt her (they’re TINY!) and that’s what frustrates me when she freaks out like that – she’s not trusting us when we know unless some crazy, random accident happens, we are not going to let anything happen to her.

“OK.  I’m going to just do this and trust that You have my back.” – what a great mindset to have with God, right?  i have no idea how many times i’ve said “no” when was God trying to get me to trust Him and step out.  and i still do that way too much.

My new friend

This is my new roommate. I've been wanting people to live with, but I guess he'll have to do for now. I tried to chase him out twice and he wouldn't leave. So. He's staying.



I named him Tommy.

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He knew before i did

how crazy awesome is our God?  each day i try to remember to set out a verse on my keyboard to focus on each day.  this morning i was looking thru my little cards and came across 1 Pet 5:7 - "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." and i thought "well...that's always good, even though i don't think i'm anxious about anything today - i'll put that one out"  -- and i just realized my stomach is in knots and i'm all jittery with nerves because i've been thinking about how i need to talk to somebody today that i’ve been avoiding.

and then i just saw the card again and...ha - God totally knew what was ahead of me today before i did.  He just stokes me so much.

‘round the bend

i’m munching on a chocolate chip cookie right now.  but i’ll get back to that.

i’ve been a little double-O-C (Out Of Commission) on my blogging the last few weeks.  it’s been one of those phases where there was more darkness than light and i don’t want to turn into a blogger who uses their blog to go off on the world and proclaim “woe is me” on every post.  so i stayed away from blogging the last few weeks.

but i think i’m on the mend.  my heart, my soul, my mind took a journey i did not see coming into a darkness that left me joyful yet fighting to feel happy – because, after all, there is a huge difference between joyfulness and happiness.  i ought to always be able to have joy and have it abundantly because of what Jesus Christ has done for me.  happiness, however, is circumstantial.  it comes and goes.

i think i’m back from the journey now.  at least, well on my way back.

during the past few weeks, i’ve cried.  a lot.  and i don’t usually cry easily.  even when i was little and my parents would spank me (yes, even with the leather belt), i would rarely cry.  actually, i’d laugh.  :P  i laugh when i’m in pain.  i’m weird.

i’ve cried to God for direction. for restored friendships.  for direction.  for true joy and happiness to return.  for dir-- (can you guess it?) – direction.  and i’ve been praying to know God’s love for me in a fresh and new way and longing to long for Jesus more.

this past week was better than the 2 weeks preceding.  the intimacy i feel with God when i’m struggling is so beautiful and sweet.  sometimes He feels far off.  but this past week He has felt so much closer.  and i’ve started praying on my knees.  it is amazing how your prayer posture can change your prayer life.

so in the midst of everything, i’ve been praying to know God’s love and joy more.  today in church, our pastor spoke on Ephesians 2 – he went thru the whole chapter. read the chapter (it’s not long).

“But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved.” – verses 4 & 5

it is by GRACE that i have been saved.  i have been asking for more joy and He has opened my eyes to His magnificent grace.  it’s a word that is tossed around so flippantly in the “Christian lingo”. 

the chapter goes on to say:

“…in order that in the coming ages He [God] might show the incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus.” – verse 7

the incomparable riches of God’s grace to me is shown to me thru the love of Jesus – the sacrifice Jesus made for my sins so that i stand before God and be seen has clean and forgiven.

God is revealing to me His grace in a new and fresh way.  And He’s revealing it to me thru Jesus’ sacrifice.  and that is helping me long for Jesus.  and all of this is creating a welling up of joy within me.

God – You stoke me beyond measure.  seriously.  I ask You for more of You and You do not withhold Yourself.

ok back to the chocolate chip cookie.

i was listening to a Francis Chan podcast tonight (called Motivated by Grace – ha – there’s the grace thing again).  and he was talking about how our lives need to be showing Jesus to others.  the grace God has shown us thru Jesus Christ – that grace we need to show to others, even those that don’t seem to deserve it.

and while the podcast is finishing up, someone knocks on my door (i’m still staying at the apartment).  i open the door and it’s Mr. Rick, my next door neighbor and he gave me a container of chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies!  just out of the blue, for no reason.

i’m not sure he even knows Christ, but what a timely example of grace!  i have done nothing for Mr. Rick except talk to him when i see him in his yard when i get home from work.  and yet he brought me these cookies.

i just realized this, but in Ephesians 2:8-9, right after the verse i quoted a few paragraphs up, it says:

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.”

crazy how God just illustrated that verse, His grace, to me thru Mr. Rick tonight.  …wow.

i am learning a lot right now.  all glory to God.

keep it real.

-jen

Eggs

I tried to make eggs this morning. I haven't done that in a long time. It looked fine at first. Then it started hissing and popping at me. I stood leaning back from the stove, spatula held over the egg so I was ready to attack if they caught on fire (yes, traumatized by the flaming steak incident). This is what resulted:





I don't know what happened. The yoke came apart from the white stuff. And then everything was hissing and crackling. And the "jen living on her own" diet continues...

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Straight from the bottle

I drink out of the bottle. Because I can. :)

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risk

if i die tomorrow, what regrets would i have?  this question came during small group last week.  we’re reading thru Francis Chan’s Crazy Love book.  i’ve read it a couple times already.  love this book.  i love the way God speaks thru Francis Chan to shake up lukewarm followers of Christ.

so i made a list of regrets i would have, off the top of my head.

-not using the voice God’s given me (musically)
-not stepping out in faith more
-not sharing the Gospel more
-not living intentionally
-being too selfish to step out and talk to people
-allowing fears to hold me back
-a lacking prayer life & intimacy with God
-not pushing myself or allowing myself to be pushed

i made this list a week ago after small group.  tonight, after small group, i was helping clean up and ended up getting in a discussion about how i don’t take many risks in my life.  i was reminded of how many times i’ve said i feel like i haven’t lived life and what it often comes down to is i am handcuffed by fear.  and that kind of fear only comes from satan.

oh that makes me so mad.  to think every time i fear something, it’s from lies that i have believed.  i hate satan.  i hate sin.  i hate fear and its hold on me.  i would use more harsher language but don’t want to shock anyone :)

so i just got back to “my side” (the apartment – i call it “my side” for now :) ) and pulled out the list i made last week of regrets i would have if i died tomorrow.  i hadn’t realized it when i wrote the list, but now i totally see a running theme throughout almost all of the things – i don’t take risks!  i fear failure.  i fear failing others.  and i fear failing God.

i know i need to start taking risks and doing things the best way i know how and if i “fail”, at least i took the risk and tried my best.

i want to be careful not to necessarily take risks for the sake of taking risks – you know, like do crazy things just for the ability to boast about what i did or attempted.  i want to take risks for the glory of God.  otherwise it seems kind of selfish to me.

1 Corinthians 10:31 - “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

i want to try – NO – wait.  i AM GOING to take a risk at least once a week.  i’m going to try to take a risk daily.  but at least once a week.  what that’ll look like, i have no clue.

(start “New Day” by the Robbie Seay Band…now)

one final thing - last night i came off my cooking sabbatical (haven’t cooked since i started the fire last monday – ha).  i went back to  something i’ve made before.  spaghetti.  and i didn’t burn anything or ruin anything!  however, if i had started another fire, i was all set – before Shane left for Bible study, he set the fire extinguisher out in the corner of the kitchen.  reeeeeal funny.

keep it real.
~jenny machaaaado~

 

(haha i say “keep it real” and then i sign off with a fake name.  i crack myself up.  i’m really funny if you don’t think about it too much.)

bam

monday night’s cooking fiasco has sent me into a funk.

ironically, for the past week i’ve been studying gentleness as part of the fruit of the Spirit.  and part of gentleness is teachability – being teachable.  now, i had been going thru this part of the study thinking “ok, i need to be teachable so whatever God wants to teach me, i’ll learn it”.  i forget that He so often uses other people or events in our lives to teach us stuff – not only when i’m reading His Word.

i am so not teachable sometimes.  i’m prideful and lose my temper.  and then give up (sometimes).  that’s what happened monday night.

i need to work on being teachable – no matter who it is God chooses to teach me thru or what circumstance He chooses to teach me thru.

God always have this incredible way of working whatever i’m studying into my everyday life, often without me realizing it at first :P

i’m not giving up on living on my own yet.  i can’t give up just because i have an unfortunate weakness in the cooking department.

unless shane kicks me out of the apartment.  then i have no choice.  :P 

Reverting to basics

Well. This is my dinner tonight. It's a relatively easy recipe that anyone can follow. Take a pack of instant oatmeal. Throw in some water. Throw it in the micro for 2 minutes. And wall-la. Bam. Instant oatmeal.

Yum.

So...filling. (heavy sarcasm)

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tire changing party, fire in the hole

it was one of those moments where i thought “you know, if i would’ve just been responsible and listened to people, i wouldn’t be in this predicament right now…”

andy borrowed Zeva (…my car.  don’t act like you don’t know who Zeva is) a week and a 1/2 ago to go up to tampa and he came back saying he thought i had a bad tire or needed the tires balanced.  i agreed, because i had been hearing a slight “whomp whomp whomp” when i drove.  then shane drove Zeva and said the sound was worse and i needed to get it checked out.  i should’ve done that last week.  i just want to make a note that i DID drive by the tire place on saturday but it turns out they’re closed saturday and sunday.  i had every intention of being responsible.

and then sunday rolled around.  and i had that gut feeling on my drive up to church that “hmm…i hope my tire doesn’t blow.  i really need to get that checked.”

sure enough, come sunday night on my drive home, that “whomp whomp whomp” turned into a “WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP” and i know that sound all too well.  flat tire.  actually, more like blown tire.  yeah, blown tire.

i’ve been taught how to change tires.  in hindsight, i probably could’ve done it.  but it was dark and i had never changed the tires on Zeva before so i didn’t know where to set the jack or how hard the nuts were going to be to get off.  so i chickened out. 

i called my dad.  i called andy.  i called shane.  no one was jumping at the opportunity to drive 40 minutes to come help me out (i was up in islamorada).  they were willing, but not until i gave it a good shot of fixing it myself.

so what did i do?  i hung up the phone and sat in my car staring out and wondering what in the world i was going to do.  and then i prayed.  hehe i did.  i asked God to help me make a wise decision.  i was going to call Natalie and see if her dad could help me (he lives a couple minutes from where i tanked).  but i didn’t want to inconvenience anyone.  and then i thought…it’s either try him or have someone drive 40 minutes to come help me and then make them drive 40 minutes back.  killer.

so i called natalie.  she called me back within minutes saying her dad was on his way and her and kathleen were on their way too (they live  about 15 minutes away from where i was).  they are crazy insane and i love them.  :D  so we had a tire changing party.  blasting music and volleyball included.

it was the funnest tire changing experience i’ve ever had!!  yenny loves nat & kat!

and what was awesome is i saw God’s hand on everything.  He protected andy from blowing out the tire going 75mph on his trip (or faster…i choose to remain ignorant to the speeds at which he took Zeva).  and yesterday after beach volleyball i normally would head home but natalie had the brilliant idea of cooking up fresh veggies and making fruit smoothies and enjoying the sunset from the concrete beach.  so after a most beautiful time together, i headed home around 8.  when nat called her dad, he had just gotten done with a bike ride so it was good timing for him.  and there were really strong storms coming thru but we got the tire changed and i got almost all the way home before it even started raining.  everything just clicked.

AND – i got to enjoy a beautiful lightning storm the whole drive home!  it was spectacularilly fantastic!  i was having such a great time enjoying God’s magnificent creation!  there was a lot of “WOOHOO!!!!” and “YOU’RE SO COOL!” exclamations going on as He would light up the sky as i drove over bridges.  i’d say “ok God, c’mon – give me another good one!” and BAM!  hehehe you just had to be there.  no music.  just me, God, the lightning, and me squealing.

God’s provision and fingerprints just stoke me.

on another note, i am starving right now.  why?  because i nearly burned down the kitchen tonight and i was so frustrated that i didn’t eat any of the food i tried to make and ended up just eating a bowl of cereal.  humph.

i don’t know what happened.  last week i made fajitas and they worked.  no major mishaps.  and then tonight i totally burned the rice and then when i put steak in the pan it shot up in flames!  oy.

i almost moved home tonight.  i don’t know what i’m supposed to do!  i’m so incompetent!  i always thought i had pretty good common sense.  apparently i don’t.

and i can’t smell.

that’s always the fall back excuse for everything.  “jen, why’s your room a mess?”  i’m sorry, i have no sense of smell.  “jen, your car needs washed really bad.”  i’m sorry, i can’t smell.  “jen, why didn’t you go for that ball?” (in volleyball).  i know, i know – it’s just that i can’t smell and…

:D

i did overcome my crepe disaster though. 

Exhibit A – first attempt at crepe making a week ago.

i ended up eating a banana instead.

however, 1 week later (this last saturday) i decided to give it another shot.  and now i give you…

Exhibit B

and i made sushi.

 

 

just kidding :)

 

 

 

 

but i did make these…i call it “strawb delight” :)

 

:::sigh::: i just don’t know where God wants me :)  struggling but on my own?  or with my fam?

i need to go to bed.  :) 

I cooked!!!

I made this all by myself this week!!! Fajitas!!!! Like...it wasn't frozen or premade! I cooked it on the stove!! No microwave! Ha! And it was edible!!!!

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sushi, chai, and kim walker

hi.

i wish i could share this moment with you so badly.  i wish i could just pluck you from wherever you are and plop you right in the room with me.  i am having a beautiful night.  sushi, followed by chai tea.  kim walker rockin’ it in the background.  mmmm :)

oops.  i just finished my chai.  that’s what i get for rubbing it in your face, i guess.

i am blessed.  for an infinite amount of reasons.  tonight i feel blessed to have the opportunity to be staying in an apartment by myself in the Keys.  i am blessed to have friends who open up their apartments to me so i can have a place to retreat to.  i don’t know how long i’ll be here.  a week.  2 weeks?  i plan to soak up every minute of it while it lasts.

i have 2 main reasons for wanting a place of my own.  1, i want a place i can have people over to and they can spend the night when they want.  i love my family, and living with them goes amazingly well, but it’s hard to have friends over because when you come to our house, you get the whole family experience.  :)  great family, just…not the type of atmosphere to cultivate deeper discussions and chill together.

(by the way, just put on “ocean surf” on my ipod – just the sound of the waves crashing and the occasional seagull without the poop – yesssss)

and the 2nd reason is i am really hoping to soak up the quiet time that i have here and draw ever so near to my Savior.  i want my heartbeat to match His heartbeat.  i want my desires to match His desires.  i want to know Him in a more intimate and real way.  i seek direction from Him right now.  i want so badly to have clear direction from Him.

i pray that i will use this place for those 2 specific reasons.  i moved some stuff in saturday (like my keyboard – quite essential).  and saturday night, Nat & Meg spent the night!!  ahhh such a blessing to be able to have a place to invite them to stay at!!  Jesus totally overwhelmed us with His love and beauty in creation and with time fellowshipping as sisters.  we all decided not to go to church Sunday morning and just take the morning to enjoy and savor.  so beautiful.

how cool is that – that the very 1st night i was here, God already allowed me to use it in the way i wanted to?  i pray that i actively seek others to come and hang out here.  i know it is so easy to get busy or think that so-and-so would probably rather do something else other than hang out with me.  or i could get selfish and enjoy the quietness too much.

my lava lamp from Lauren is squirting goo balls up and down.  and i don’t have internet here.  i love it.  i can write blogs while offline and post them later.  and i won’t be distracted with the internet.

i had a thought yesterday (i had more than 1 thought…just…this 1 stuck out.  i do think throughout the day, contrary to popular belief).  i, like many others in my community of friends, am seeking direction from God as to what to do, where to go, what He created me for.  and i am so stuck on trying to figure out exactly what it is God wants for me.  but talking with Nat & Meg yesterday, i thought – am i not trusting God to lead me?  to open the right doors and open them in His time?

i hope this is coming out right.  it made so much more sense in my head yesterday.  let me try again.

Psalm 37:4 (Scripture always just kinda says it best, doesn’t it?  let’s just go to Scripture) - “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

i am so worried about missing out on what God has created me to do.  that i’ll sit around and won’t take a chance on a direction because i want to be sure that’s what He wants me doing first.  i have been praying and continue to pray that God will give me desire, passion, and direction according to what He created me for.  according to the gifts and talents He has given me. 

and yet i worry that i’ll miss out on what He has for me.

isn’t that kind of like not trusting God?  is our God unjust, that He would ignore our cries for direction so that we may glorify Him to the fullest with our lives?  of course not! 

Matthew 7:11 - “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!”

seriously!  think about it.  delight yourself in the Lord and He WILL give you the desires of your heart.  He WILL guide you.  in HIS time.  and God is outside of our time – He created our “time”.  His timing is not always our timing.

i hope this makes sense.  it’s still not coming out as eloquently as i heard it in my head yesterday.  may God take my un-eloquent words and use them for His glory. :)

Dinner

Doesn't this just look good? I made this tonight. Don't get excited. It was a frozen meal. Totally cheating. But it looks nice in the bowl. And the countertop in the background.

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Houston part 2

i need to finish my Houston recap before it gets too far in the past.

i left off on Saturday. so...

SATURDAY
we all took our time getting around Saturday morning. drank coffee and each picked a piece of the living room to curl up in and spend some alone time with our Abba. then we introduced Nicki to our typical "Keys" breakfast we do when friends are in town - crepes! mmmm. we then walked around the neighborhood in the bright sunny skies (though it was a little cold but not bad - 50's probably).

when we got back to the house, we saw Richard (the owner) and he took us for a tour of his museum of art. crazy.

then we proceeded by going into the barn and pulling out Lisa's 2 kayaks and carrying them over to the small man-made pond on the property and went kayaking. haha no, really, we did. Lisa had wanted to do it and take close-up pics so it looked like we were on the ocean or a lake and then do a zoomed-out shot that showed how small the pond really was. it was so much fun! (i really need to go back and put pics up of all these things)

after that Lisa took us into Tomball and we went to a few stores and saw downtown Tomball. that place is sweet - it's really an old-school downtown and the stores are still alive and people are...there. unlike a lot of downtown places that have gone to the dumps. we went to this old old grocery store called "Kleins" and it was so cool - they played old music and most of the people working were old and it was just so old-fashioned.

then we went for a walk in one of the parks near Lisa's house.

Lisa then took us for some good ol' tejas bbq. (we ate a lot on this trip. a lot of good food.)

then we rushed home and filled the Element with every big blanket and pillow we could find. grabbed leftover brownies and ginger snaps. headed for the drive-in movies!! ahhhh sooooo fun! cold, but fun! we were all so bundled up in the back of Ellie. the movies were lame and i ended up trying to sleep thru the 2nd one because i didn't want to have bad memories of it (lovely bones - don't see it). the 1st movie was valentine's day. don't see that either. there was not 1 good, moral relationship in that movie. but the experience of the drive-in in 40/50 degree weather was fun!

Nicki spent Saturday night at the house with us again (she's great!!).

SUNDAY
Sunday morning, Lisa, Rachel, and i went to Ecclesia for church. the Robbie Seay Band leads worship there when they're in town. it was a cool, uber trendy church that meets in a warehouse. good for building community. we then went out for lunch with some of the girls to Barkley's Cafe...or something like that. i got a flat iron steak and fries. yum. i love steak. and the seasoning on the fries was so good.

then Lisa took us to a couple cool thrift stores (Buffalo Exchange and Taxi Taxi). hit up Smoothie King (at my request) and stopped at one of Lisa's favorite coffee shops. we then headed to the park to see the ultimate frisbee crew. we got there late so we didn't play (and it was cold). but it was fun to see where she plays and meet some of the people she plays with. this park was crazy because it's like...in the middle of the city and the park's like in this small valley area. big buildings all around. completely opposite of Founder's park where we play beach vball and ultimate frisbee down here (ocean views). but it was neat.

then we went back to Lisa's and made dinner (spaghetti) and theeennnnn...MEGAN SHOWED UP!! she had called us Sunday morning on our way to church and said her and her friends were in New Orleans and were headed to Dallas on their spring break road trip and they wanted to stop by Lisa's and spend Sunday night before heading to Dallas!! i cannot capture the excitement and yelling that went on in the car during that phone call and after that call. we were all so stoked. megan rocks. like, seriously. and her friends are great - i knew Steph already and then met 2 other girls (Jillian and Jenny). we had so much fun with them, though it was a short time. Steph took us thru some of her "ab attack" routine (she teaches workout classes at her school) - see, we did exercise on this trip. :)

MONDAY
Monday morning we got up in time to make crepes with the girls. then Lisa took Rachel and i to the airport. sad.

ok that recaps everything i think. if you feel like something's missing, let me know (haha).

this girl's going to bed.

i'm spending the night at Nat's tonight - woohoo!! twice this week!

New Day

Spent the night at Natalie's last night after Bible study. Stayed up til almost 2am talking - mmm!! God has blessed me with some amazing sisters.
She sent me on my way this morning with fresh strawberries and French pressed coffee! It was a beautiful 50 minute drive over bridges and water and blue skies. Robbie Seay Band playing "New Day". Theme song of the day.

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mmmm -- vacation!

i'm on vacation with Rachel visiting Lisa in Houston. it has been so fun and refreshing! i think this is the first vacation i've had that i really needed. other vacations i took for the fun of it. this time is different - i have been so overwhelmed and stressed at work and with life and needed to get away from it all for a short time.

i just want to capture everything we've done so far so i can look back and remember :) so this post is more for my benefit.

Boone and Sara flew down for a Keys vacation on Wed. the 17th and flew out Wed. the 24th. Boone and i bought our tickets (hers to Ft. Lauderdale, mine to Houston) at the same time so we could fly out around the same time - it ended up being within 15 minutes of each other! perfect! i had a great time with the girls down in the Keys - my only regret was that i had to work so much of the time they were there :( despite my many hours spent at work, we still managed to get quite a bit in - wing night @ the Hurricane, coffee @ Leigh Ann's coffee shop (twice!), Friday night indoor vball, sailing, Sunday afternoon beach vball, dinner at El Siboney in Marathon...Sadie took them to the beach and a walk (Boone ran - lucky!) on the old 7 mile bridge. we had crazy weather - like rainy & cold 1/2 the time. so not typical for a Keys winter but the whole country has had a weird winter and we can't complain - at least it was still in the 60's/70's :)

it was so natural to have Boone in town - i have a few friends that are part of my family and she is one of them. (Mriss - i know you'll read this so you should know you are one of those too :) )

WEDNESDAY
so Wed. the 24th we all rode up to Ft. Lauderdale together in Zeva and went our separate ways at the airport. Rachel & i flew continental - they fed us on the plane!! sandwich, chips, dr ink, and a hershey's chocolate bar!! all for free! who DOES that these days?? :)

Lisa picked us up and we went straight to Mike & Libba's house to see Libba - such an amazing woman who's love for God just oozes out of her! everyone needs to meet Libba and spend time with her. her life has not been easy (specifically health-wise) and each day is a gift from God. we hung out with her for about an hour, then a few of the younger teachers from the school came over for their normal Wed. afternoon Bible study. they were all so sweet! we then went to dinner at this uber trendy sushi place with Lisa & her friend Nicole (she's great!) and it was sushi happy hour so the sushi was 1/2 off! our bill for 4 of us was like $20! the restaurant was so trendy - probably the most trendy place i've ever eaten :)

from sushi we went to the girl's Bible study at Nicki's house (young life leader - she is so cool! she spent the night with us at Lisa's last night and is sitting right by me on the couch right now :) ). mmm - this Bible study was so great! they are reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan (LOVE that book, by the way). the girls - oh the girls! i couldn't stop smiling the whole time. God is moving thru the group and it is so clear and evident. there is a hunger. mmm - that just stokes me!

 

we got home to Lisa's around 10 or 11pm.  she had these amazing “ice cream cones” for us – but it wasn’t  ice cream, it was this light merangue (spelling?!) thing and when we ate off the top, there were sweet notes inside!!!!  so special!

i also would like to add that Lisa often sets the heat in the house to 79.  she so rocks my face off!!!! 

THURSDAY
what a full day! got up, Lisa made us delicious whole wheat blueberry pancakes and turkey bacon. we then went on a walk around the property (birds chirping EVERYWHERE!) and then thru the neighborhood - crisp, cool morning and the sun was shining in the blue skies! the fresh air was so delightful (though...cold).

we then packed a picnic lunch and headed to one of Lisa's favorite nearby parks. ended up playing a little volleyball on the sand court (couldn't resist). then realized Ellie (Lisa's Element) had gotten yellow  paint speckled all over her because the lines on the road had just been repainted! so we went into Tomball and washer her. then went back to the park and ate our picnic lunch on a blanket in the sunshine.

after that we went into Downtown Houston to this like...museum district  place and walked thru a contemporary art museum (it was free) and then to this nearby park that reminded me so much of D.C. - long reflection pool and all. we walked thru a Japanese garden there and saw this turtle hinged on top of a rock with his back legs up in the air...we took pictures, i'll have to come back and put them in this blog. it was hilarious. despite it being winter, there were some beautiful pink flowered trees in the garden. very cool.

then we walked up a big hill and laid down and stared up into the sky.

but not for too long because we had more to do!

we stopped by the museum of science and looked thru the gift shop (Lisa took us to the museum gift shops first, then showed us the rest of the museum...that must be the cool way to do it. hehehe j/k Lisa ). we decided we didn't want to pay to see that museum so we walked back to Ellie and headed to Swirll.

oh - what is Swirll? you may ask. well let me tell you - amazing. that's what Swirll is. ha :) it's an ice cream shop where you fill your cup with as much ice cream as you want, and whatever combination of kinds. then you walk thru a little "buffet" area and add whatever toppings you want - lots of sweet treats and lots of fruit for the healthier ice cream indulgers :) then you go to pay and they weigh your cup and you pay by the weight!! how cool is that?? i got strawberry kiwi sorbet and topped it off with lots of fruit. mmmm! picture to follow.

from there we went to REI and Lisa got a couple things for her upcoming snowboard trip to CO (jealous). then went back up toward Tomball and ate at a fun Mexican restaurant called "Lupe Tortilla". Rachel had a queso milkshake. haha ok not really. but she did suck up the queso chip  dip thru a straw for a good photo moment. we followed dinner with a stop at Starbucks (in hindsight, shouldn't have done that - i was so full already!) and then Target. then went to the Silverado IMAX theater and saw Avatar in IMAX 3D - pretty sweeet! i normally wouldn't have gone to see Avatar (not my kind of movie) but i had heard so many great things about it and thought it'd be cool to see in imax 3D. very cool!

we got home around 11 i think.

FRIDAY
went to work with Lisa at 10 (she's the female "chaplain" at this college prep Christian high school). got to see a preview of the musical they're doing next week - Thoroughly Modern Millie. my college did that and i went and saw it and loved it - these high schoolers did a great job! i wish i could be here next week to see the whole show!

Rachel and i then joined up with the girls from the Bible study at lunch and had a time of singing worship and prayer during lunch (they started doing "Fasting Fridays" where they worship and pray during lunch instead of eating - how cool is that?). we started out on a hill top but then rain started moving in so we went inside to a classroom. this girl, Anna, leads the worship and she is so unique and cool! she reminds me of David Crowder - unique style and personality and they are very comfortable just being themselves. so great. and she loves Kim Walker so...shoot.

we then sat in on a presentation about Turkey (Lisa's helping lead a trip there this summer!). it was crazy because the presentation started out with this man from Turkey giving a slideshow presentation of his country and talking about what they'll see in Turkey and then there was Q & A time. started off with questions about Turkey and then people started asking questions about his career and how to make good career choices and all that. it was interesting to see that because it just shows some of the mentality at the school. not necessarily a bad thing i guess, just...not my mentality. :)

Rachel and i then hung out in the conference room next to Lisa's office for a little bit while she worked. when the school day was over we left and went rock climbing!!! my first time. so fun. loved it. sore today. we did that for a couple hours. it was cool too because the people there give you a quick instruction time on how to use the belay (ropes) and then  they turn you loose! so we got to belay each other and do whatever we wanted. did a little bouldering (no ropes) but found it more fun to do it with the ropes because then you got to climb all the way to the top :)

from there we hit up HEB (a grocery store) and went home to Lisa's to make steak (w/bernaisse sauce...i don't know how to spell that but it's yellow and we often have it with steak in the Keys), coconut rice, and corn. yum! followed up with brownies, ice cream, strawberries, and chocolate syrup. killin' me! so good. Nicki joined us and spent the night - it has been so fun getting to talk with her and getting to know one of the people Lisa loves so dearly out here.

SATURDAY
today. what will today hold? well we have all taken our time getting around this morning so far. it's after 10 and everyone is sitting around on big comfy leather couches here in the living room reading/journaling/praying. mmm the atmosphere is so tranquil and warm. we are going to make crepes for breakfast. might go around Tomball some. some of the girls from the Bible study are probably coming out this afternoon and we are going to the drive-in movies tonight! tomorrow is church at Ecclesia (can't wait) and not sure what will follow - lots of options!

while this vacation has been jam packed with so much greatness, i have also loved the mornings here! waking up whenever my body wakes up (which as been between 6 and 7), sneaking out to the living room and enjoying quietness with my Abba. mmm i miss Him so much when i don't get to spend alone time with Him! that has been a gift. i am so thankful for Lisa's like-mindedness. she knows how important it is. no matter how much we want to pack in out here, nothing compares to the importance of starting out the day surrendering all to our Almighty God and drawing near to Him.

so many thoughts whirling around in my head. Lisa's good at wanting to dig deep into people's lives and challenge them to not settle for comfortable. that is something i've been struggling with anyway, and coming out here and talking it out has only fueled it more. changes is in the near future. i can feel it. i can sense it. i know it needs to happen.

Father, guide me.
fuel my passions. my desires.
help me surrender my life to You daily.
help me step out and do things where i am weak so that You may show Yourself strong - for Your glory.
to live fully alive by Your Spirit within me.
i want to be doing what You created me to do.
to be using the gifts and talents You have given me.

Rainy Mondays

Mmm...sitting at Leigh Ann's drinking a soy chai latte and eating a scone with Boone and Sara. Raining all day. Boone and I have the laptop out and are planning out our Colorado/Wyoming roadtrip!


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I think i have Cuban blood...

I love old Cuban women. And I think they love me. Everytime I go to get lunch at Winn-Dixie, they load me up! Today she even gave me an extra side- the black beans!! This meal will last me 3 lunches probably. All for $5.99.


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Conquered #2

Fear conquered #1 was the cockroach. Yes, I threw it away!

Fear conquered #2 - lighting short stick matches!





The first regular size ("short") match I lit in my life was in college and as soon as it lit, I freaked out and threw it on the table. :) tonight, all alone in the house, I decided to conquer my fear. I lit 5 :) the first one was so fun I just had to do it again! ...and again...and again... :D

Baby steps.

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"Incase this truck has malfunctions and dies in the middle of the road, please do not push."

it just struck me as funny on the way to work. i just pictured myself trying to push it off the road.

random.

introducing...

Mr. Benjamin Andrew, born 2/1/10 @ 10:24pm! 7lb, 13oz and 20in long. my very first nephew!!
what a shock! the doctor had read my sister's ultrasound back in sept/oct '09 and determined it was another girl (niece #3). apparently, this little stud muffin was feeling mischevious that day and hid those oh-so-significant parts from the camera. i will forever remember the moment we all found out it was a boy! the story is to come - i'm keeping this short tonight.

in other news, don't you just love those moments where you receive confirmation from God that you made a good decision about something? tonight i get a call from shane, my friend who sold my Escape for me back in November of last year. he says "you'll never guess who just called me - the guy who bought your Escape..." and my heart stopped (well, not literally, don't worry). long story short, the guy's friend was driving it for him back from Texas or something and they had just gotten back into the Keys and the transmission locked up - aka, the transmission blew! my first thought was - "oh no...he must be so mad at me!" - i had no idea the transmission would have problems! but thankfully he was just calling shane to see if he had a number for a good towing company - the guy was glad he still had shane's number!

and earlier today i had been telling Zeva how much i love her (yes, i talk to my car - get over it).

i felt only relief and excitement over selling my Escape and have never regretted it. i have felt only joy and excitement over my Scion xB. and this just affirms to me that it was the right thing to do! what a blessing!

and you know those times when you look back and realize you made a really bad decision and are now having to face the consequences. i'm having one of those moments right now. i was so stinkin' tired at work from going going going since Sunday morning and i got home and after dinner realized someone had made coffee at our house (a rare thing for in the evening). so i drank 1/2 a cup, not knowing if it was regular or decaf. pretty sure it was regular. i'm wide awake now. shoot.

hey it's 10:24pm - Ben's 2 day birthday! i should throw a party...by myself...since i'm apparently the only one still up in this house full.