holy anguish.

I listened to “Holy Anguish” – a message Francis Chan gave a little bit ago. First off, download it on itunes and listen. Like…really. Do it now. My summary of it will not do it justice.

What kinds of things do you feel deep sorrow over? Loss of a loved one. Loss of a job. Tragedy in friend’s lives. The Broncos going 6-0 this year and then losing to Baltimore…  (I had to throw that in there…I’m sorry…those who know me know I can’t be too serious for any extended length of time.)

No, but really – how often do you really feel deep sorrow over something?

"With Christ as my witness, I speak with utter truthfulness. My conscience and the Holy Spirit confirm it. My heart is filled with bitter sorrow and unending grief for my people, my Jewish brothers and sisters. I would be willing to be forever cursed—cut off from Christ!—if that would save them." Romans 9:1-3 (NLT)

What did Paul anguish over? He didn’t anguish over his own personal struggles (thrown in jail numerous times, beaten, persecuted in so many more ways than we ever are). He anguished over those who didn’t know Jesus Christ as their Savior.

He anguished over the lost.

Ahhhh. Seriously? When is the last time I really anguished over people going to Hell? It’s been awhile. I’ve gone through spurts where I was very much aware of this tragedy at hand, but I had lost the sense of urgency.
Supposedly there’s an actor or comedian or someone on youtube who talks about his encounter with an evangelist and even though he was an atheist, he said how he respected the evangelist for…I can’t remember what – again, I haven’t seen the video. But he says, in regards to all the other Christians who don’t share the Gospel with others, “How much do you have to hate someone to not tell them about hell?”

Ouch.

Think about it. If you are a follower of Christ, you believe the Gospel of Jesus Christ and realize your need for a perfect Lamb’s blood to be the ultimate sacrifice to satisfy a perfect and just God. And you know that you will spend eternal life in Heaven…in Paradise…because you believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And you know that those who do not believe and choose to go their own way will spend eternity in Hell, absolutely alone and in utter turmoil that we cannot even imagine.
Why are we (yes, we) not anguishing over this fact?!
Francis Chan goes on to tell about a reoccurring dream a friend of his keeps having. This guy used to play basketball for the Lakers. In his dream, his fellow teammates, who he had spent years playing basketball with day in and day out, are in hell and he’s not. And they look at him with this look on their face that says “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS?! You didn’t say anything because you wanted me to like you?!”

Too often I don’t share the saving message of Jesus Christ with others because I don’t know how they’ll react. I’m afraid they won’t believe it. I’m afraid they’ll ask questions I don’t have answers to. I’m afraid I’ll drive a wedge between us.
What a stupid list of reasons. People I see every day are going to Hell and I don’t share with them the beautiful truth that God has provided a means of justification that is in no way something I can earn but is instead a free gift to everyone who just believes.

Pathetic.

May I…may you…may we be overwhelmed with awareness to this Truth. May the sense of urgency greatly increase.

If you didn’t listen to the podcast yet, go do it.

I can't figure out how to post pictures and text at the same time :)

The pic below is from this morning. I was sitting on a bench at the beach, enjoying the overcast and windy weather!! So fun! It was about 78 but with the wind it was cooler and I got to wear a zip up hoodie!! Maybe a little overkill, but us Keys people take any chance we can get to wear a hoodie :)

He drank my cup

He drank...my cup.

for awhile now i've realized that i so often become almost callous to the cross - Jesus's death. growing up in a Christian family, going to church all my life - i've heard about the cross my entire life. Jesus died on the cross for my sins. John 3:16. great. killer. sometimes it would evoke emotion within me. other times i'd read Scripture that talked about Christ's sacrifice and i'd read it just like it was any other passage in the Bible. not really contemplating the depth of it.

and i hate that i become callous to the magnitude of it so easily.

i came across a book nearly a year ago while shopping online with a B&N giftcard. the book is called "Living the Cross Centered Life - Keeping the Gospel the Main Thing" by C.J. Mahaney. i had read his book called "Humility" and loved it, so i bought this book. i didn't start reading it though until about a month ago.

the Truth this book talks about is overwhelming. so much more than any of my blogs could ever cover.

i just finished a chapter last night about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. if i could copy and paste the whole chapter here, i would. i was wide awake when i finished the chapter but was so overwhelmed by God's love for me displayed on that cross thru His Son Jesus Christ that i couldn't read on yet.

"In the mystery of His mercy, God - the innocent, offended party - offers up His own Son to death, to satisfy His righteous wrath and save the guilty party from it." - pg. 70

To satisfy His righteous wrath...His "righteous wrath" alone deserves so much thought about what that means. but i will try to stay on topic and not ramble. As Jesus is praying to His Father, He asks if there's any way for the cup to be removed.

"My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Matthew 26:39

Jesus prayed this at least twice that night in the garden. He was "overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death" - Matt. 26:38. Why was He overwhelmed? because He was about to drink of this cup - this cup of God's righteous wrath against the sin of all mankind. He was about to experience total abandonment from His Father. Jesus was about to become "the object of God's full and furious wrath" (pg. 80). for me. for you. for all of mankind.

"As we watch Jesus pray in agony in Gethsemane, He has every right to turn His tearful eyes toward you and me and shout, 'This is your cup. You're responsible for this. It's your sin! You drink it.' This cup should rightfully be thrust into my hand and yours." (pg. 82)

but He doesn't. no...He drinks the cup - the cup intended for me.

God loves me...you...so much that He was willing to let His innocent, perfect Son, Jesus Christ, come to earth to be the perfect, final sacrifice for the sin of all mankind.

He drank my cup...

life is short

life is too short to waste doing things day in and day out that i'm not passionate about. sitting behind a desk, billing customers for things they don't need in the first place, when their money could be going toward helping other people...yeah, not my passion.

i worked for j crew for the majority of time i was at college. i sat in a little cubicle, answering phone calls from materialistic people who wanted new clothes and wanted them yesterday (meaning: "i want this cashmere sweater overnighted to me for free because i'm greedy and want things now."). i enjoyed the job for awhile, just because it was fun to "sell" things (who didn't play store with their friends/siblings when they were little?). but then i went on a trip to the Dominican Republic during summer 'o6 and when i got back to work, i was overwhelmed by the fact that here i was, feeding greedy people with more clothes they didn't need while the Haitian refugee friends i made sat in their makeshift huts hoping they would have at least 1 small meal that day. seriously? drove me crazy.

it doesn't make sense that we settle doing jobs that have no eternal value. maybe i'm being irrational. but seriously? God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to earth where He was treated like the lowly. Jesus died as the ultimate sacrifice for each and every one of our sins. And He conquered death - that we may have eternal life with our Creator and know true peace, hope, joy...fullness in this life. So how will i spend this life He has given me?

restlessness. each day that goes by that i continue to do the same thing in life drives me nuts. i become almost apathetic toward my job.

i ought to be content that i even have a job. and i am, to an extent. i'm thankful i have a job. it's just...hmph.

and i crave adventure. not adventure for adventure's sake. not for the "bragging rights" to boast to others about what crazy thing i did. i crave adventure that will push me to accomplish things i never thought i was capable of. i want to know -- (bracing myself - for i know i am inviting God to turn my life upside down) -- i want to know what it is like to truly live by faith in our GREAT God. to have to rely on Him to bring me thru. and to taste victory because of His strength in my weakness. i crave adventure that will push others to do the same. i crave adventure that will point others to our GREAT God.

i hardly know what it is to live by faith. i have a steady income (relatively). i have an over abundance of food available to me. i have a roof over my head. i have many friends who will offer their roofs over my head. :) i have good health. so where do i have to rely on God? how am i living today that requires me to rely on God?

On November 18, 2009 I will have been soda free for 1 whole year!!! The longest in my life. So I want to celebrate by going on a snowboarding trip if I can get people to go with me :) other options include Nicaragua or costa rica. Some kind of adventure.

3 years ago

almost 3 years ago to the day, i wrote a blog about wanting to go to med school and become a surgeon. (see Oct. 26, 2006 post for details) i didn't pursue it though. but about a month ago, after a conversation with my friend Natalie, i learned about the surgical tech position in the O.R. and instantly was intrigued. the main reason i didn't pursue the medical route was because in high school i realized that as a surgeon, i would be holding people's lives in my hands and if they died on my operating table, it would be my fault. now, ultimately, i know that God is in control but my sinful, controlling nature would easily be swayed to believe it was my responsibility alone and i couldn't handle that.

as a surgical tech, you get to be in the O.R., right there next to the surgeon. you assist with tools and holding clamps, etc. and you help prep patients and surgeons. you get to be right there with the surgeon!! ahh - it makes me giddy just thinking about it!

the surgical tech program at most schools is about 18-24 months. that's it. not 10 years of schooling or anything. so...i'm looking into it. who knows what'll happen. but i am looking at a school in lynchburg (yay!!) and west palm beach. i don't want to leave the Keys!!!! but the fact that the program isn't years and years long makes it a little easier. a little. not a lot. :P

Natalie also told me about Mercy Ships - www.mercyships.org. from what i know, it's a volunteer-based ship that is anchored off the west coast of Africa (they've had other ships but i think the one in Africa is the only one right now). there are tons of positions open on the ship and you can volunteer for as long as you want. some positions want at least a 1 month commitment, some 3 months, some 6, etc. how cool would that be?!

i have such a longing for adventure within me. maybe this is the start of one...

it has begun...again.

let it be known that i have re-started my blog. thank you, Marissa. :P my last post was Nov. '06 - nearly 3 years ago. that means i'm 3 years older than i was then. and probably 3 years worth smarter. maybe.

but because my computer is going anciently slow right now, i only have time to post this and now have to leave for the ICS boy's football game - 6 man football at it's finest!

the real purpose of the moon

i've started reading a book that's sat on my shelf a good year or so now. it's a John Piper book called "Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ". so while the following thoughts are spurred on by things i've read in the book, the elaboration are my own thoughts and ideas (wow that sounded professional...yes, that's right, i'm in college).

i was driving the other night and it was well past darkness-time and a huge glowing mass caught my attention. any other day, i would probably have just glanced at it and thought "hey, cool", but this night was different. it was a full moon, huge, bright. as i stared at it while i was at a red light, i thought more and more about the existence of that moon.

i've always excepted creation as-is. the moon's the moon. the sun's the sun. the moon comes out at night, the sun's out in the day and the sun's hot and i love the sun. simple. the grand canyon's huge. God created it. simple. not much thought about it, i just accept such creations as, well...normal.

but this night, at the stop light, i realized...God didn't HAVE to create the moon. He didn't HAVE to create the sun. He's God, He created the world, He didn't have to create us so that we needed the sun or benefited from the moon (...do we benefit from the moon?...i'm not into science). the grand canyon doesn't actually do anything for us, it doesn't sustain our life at all in any way.

He created these things for His glory! so that when we see them, we stand in awe, we be still and think, "wow...God, You made this. this...this is beautiful. this is amazing. and You created it for Your glory."

and to take it one step further. to realize that the Creator who created such beautiful, amazing, profound creations...has to be so much MORE beautiful, amazing, and profound. ahhhh :)

i look at creation so much more differently right now.

keep it real.
~jen~

maybe i'll go to med school.

i'm thinking maybe i'll just switch direction and become a surgeon.

i love what i do. i love media. i love the thought of reaching people with the Gospel through film/video.

but from the time i was 2, when i had eye surgery, until just before i graduated from high school, i wanted to be a surgeon. i love the intrigue of the human body. i was great at gameboy (random, i know, but people have said if you're good at video games, you'll be good in surgery with the equipment - haha). i like to be able to fix things.

so i was thinking tonight about how i used to want to be a surgeon. and i realized...hey, i can surf and make videos all i want in Heaven (that, or i'll be so incredibly wrapped up in just worshiping my Creator that i won't even care about surfing or making movies). but i can't be a surgeon in Heaven. there'll be no need for surgeons. at least, i don't think there will be...i could be wrong though. i guess if there is a need for surgeons in Heaven, that'd be great because then i wouldn't lose any of my patients.

so back to this surgeon idea.

ah - but then i have to go through lots of med school. there's no way i'd ask my parents to help support me financially through that. so maybe this is what i'll do for now: i'll finish my degree at LU. i'll work in the field for awhile, saving up money. then if i have money for med school and still want to be a surgeon, i'll consider it further then.

i'd want to be a surgeon in Hawaii or Southern Cal. yeah. and take medical mission trips. to Tahiti. and other places. and i could bring my camera along and document it. and surf for a stress-reliever.

i might be on to something here.

or i might just be dreaming.

i should go to bed.

keep it real.
~jen~

the peace that can only come from God

Philippians 4:7

$1.95

i filled up for gas this morning for a whoppin' $1.95/gallon!! talk about exciting. i finally could fill up a full tank of gas for under $20. what a beautiful da-a-a-aaaaay!! (can anyone name the song that that's from?)

the church service we usually go to starts at 11. it's late. i usually automatically wake up after getting 7 1/2-8 hours of sleep, so this morning i woke up at 7:35am, though i didn't get out of bed for about another hour. i get myself in trouble on Sunday mornings because i wake up so early before church that i putz around and work on things, thinking, "oh, i have so much time, i can do this too" - and then before i know it, i'm rushing around trying to be ready on time for church. go figure.

and so i sit here, 9:55am, writing on my blog.

i paid my credit card off this weekend!! that's a huge relief. i celebrated by leaving work a couple hours early yesterday (it was slow, they were offering time off) and renting X-Men 3 :) a-mazing movie.

i love the x-men triology, i don't know why, but i do.

speaking of work, (well...i was a few thoughts ago), i enjoy my job. yes, i'd rather be out in 80+ degree weather and filming a surf documentary or something, but for the part of life that i'm at right now, this job works just fine. and i love giving the gift of free shipping & handling. :) sometimes i throw that in for various reasons when people call in. and when they're not demanding that they get free shipping, they're always so excited to save the extra cash. i feel like santa almost.

speaking of work and santa (wow, i'm really building on my thoughts, this is technical) - last week, on saturday, i was at work and got a call from a retail store (we have red phones in our retail store that customers can pick up and order from if we don't have their item in the store). so, i answer the call and on the other end is this little boy that couldn't have been more than 3 or 4 years old. and our conversation goes as follows:

boy: "hello?"
me, realizing it's a little guy who probably won't be ordering today: "hi! how are you?"
boy: "are you santa clause??"
me: "...yes. ...yes i am!"
boy: (turning away from the phone) "Daddy! it's santa clause!!"
--the boy's dad either didn't realize his son was actually talking to someone or he was distracted, because he just kinda went "oh, really? okay"
boy: (back on the phone) "Do you have trains??"
me: "...um...yes! we DO have trains!"
boy: (turning away from the phone) "DADDY! they have TRAINS!!"
boy: (back on the phone) "What kind of trains??"
me: "oh...um...big ones. yeah, lots of them. they're red." (they're red?? haha i didn't know what else to say)
boy: (turning away from the phone) "DADDY! they have big red ones!!)
--phone hangs up

absolutely hilarious. i got off the phone and laughed so hard. kristen tried to make me feel guilty by reminding me, "Jenny! you just lied to that poor kid and told him you're santa clause!"

nah - just gave the little guy a bit of excitement for the day :)

oh...i should probably go get ready for church.

keep it real.
~jen~

mmmmmmm...to have wisdom

i heard it said this way wednesday night: "every piece of wisdom began as doubt"

appealing to emotion is big these days in churches. some are all for it. some are totally against it. i'm in the middle. but when your faith is feasting merely on emotional experiences, your faith will be like a rollercoaster. i've done it before. i've had a beautiful "experience" at church, left, and hardly touched my Bible for the next week until i went to church again. those who feed off of emotion often tend to suppress their questions, their doubt. i know i've been doing that for awhile now. i tend to think, "yeah, i don't know why this or that has happened, or why God allows this or that, but hey - He's God, i will never understand His ways, so i'll just accept that and not worry about the answers".

mmmmmmm.....but how much deeper my relationship with my Lord would be if i questioned Him, if i wrestled with Him and didn't let go until i had His answer. if i didn't write off my doubts and just accept things "as-is".

oh, to have wisdom. True wisdom. Godly wisdom. and to know my Savior the way He desires me to know Him.

wisdom is gained when you ask the questions that nag you. the questions that leave you saying, "i don't know why, and it bugs me".

so, question. question - not to run away from God, but to run toward God.

keep it real.
~jen~

why not me?

going to the Dominican Republic this past summer, though just for a week, has completely rocked my world. it was my 1st time in a 3rd world country. i saw desperation for food/water/clothing at a whole new level. adults taking children's cups of curdled milk, the only cup of milk the child might have for the next week or two. children begging for just 1 pair of shoes so that they could go to school. what? children BEGGING to go to school?

how easy it would be to harden my heart to what i saw. to leave in the Dominican what i saw in the Dominican and go about living my relatively easy life in America. how easy it would be for me to keep the memories tucked inside my head somewhere and forgetting to tell their stories. eventually the memories would fade and the burden i feel for them would subside.

but i don't want to waste the trip that God soverignly planned for me to go on. i can't. what a waste it would be to experience so many different things and not do anything with what i learned.

not only would it be a waste, it would not be fair to my friends i made in the DR. the Haitian refugees that risked their lives to bring their families across the Haiti/DR border in hopes of a better life for their children.

no, not every post from now on will be about the DR. but i hope that there will be many.

this is Callilina. precious. Callilina latched on to me from the first second we jumped off our safari truck in her village. she was no more than 5 years old and had an adorable, gruff/husky voice. she insisted on holding my paint bucket as i painted the door and windows the 1st day we came into the village. her and her sister, Natalia, played around me the entire time i painted. i was their "gringa amiga" and we tried to have as much as a conversation as possible with the little spanish that i know. :) we ended up laughing a lot and in the end, we sang about "cuckarachas" (cockroaches).

with the loving and joyful spirits that Callilina and Natalia show, you would never guess that these girls sometimes go a couple days without food. me and about 4 others in our group got to visit these sister's house in the village and bring juice and crackers to their family. their mom only spoke spanish, but she kept telling us that sometimes they go days without food. they were all skinny. all had torn raggedy clothes. there were actually 5 kids in the family, no dad. their dad had abandoned them.

hardly a meal goes by where these girl's faces don't flash through my mind. why am i able to fill my plate with food and at the end of the meal, sit there with food still on my plate and a full belly? why do i have the choice of what i want to eat at each meal? i sit here now, my belly warm and happy from the chai tea i just finished. Callilina is quite possibly laying in her bed (actually, i don't think she even had a bed) tonight, her stomach empty. and here i sit, my stomach full. it sickens me.

it's not fair. why is it not me in their shoes? why does it have to be like this? why do i get to have so much in America and they have so little? why is it that i can be working 2 jobs and yet their parents struggle to find even a small job that will bring them a dollar a day for their family?

these children have ruined me. ruined me in the best way possible. i drive myself crazy with the things i've spent my money on. it's ridiculous to look at the DVDs that i have, and to think that all of that money could be going to feed this kids, to clothe them, to send them to school.

it's getting late, i have a 7:50 tomorrow, and i feel like i'm rambling.

keep it real.
~jen~

where i want to be

oh how strongly i don't want to be at school right now. my heart is in the Keys. i love my apartment up here, i love my roommates, i love my friends i have here(the ones that haven't graduated and left, that is). but i just do not want to be here. i have no desire to go to any of my classes except my theology (sects & cults) class that Caner's teaching.

i get a phone call tonight and hear mass chaos in the background. then i start being able to make out people's words and realize it's a group of my friends from the Keys, calling me on speaker phone :) oh it was torture! they had played ultimate frisbee (the Sunday night ritual) and were at taco bell and the phone got passed around from person to person (including lucy!) - oooooh how every ounce of my body yearns to be down there!

it doesn't help that i now realize how much of a joke my major is at this university. you know it's bad when 2 of the head professors in the degree tell you to look at different schools to finish your degree. yes, ladies and gentlemen, i had 2 of the professors tell our video production class last year that the broadcasting major at our school is a joke, we don't have the right equipment to learn what we need to, and we should consider other universities. one even proceeded to ramble off a list of schools he'd recommend. yeah...that really motivates you to finish up and get your degree, knowing that you won't be taught what you need to know to have the experience and knowledge to get a credible job. goodness.

on a much lighter note, i have had a very enjoyable weekend. that's probably because i was gone all saturday and sunday afternoon. saturday a group of us went to VA beach for the ECSC (East Coast Surf Competition) which i've gone to every year i've been at Liberty. it's worth the 4 hour drive over there and the 4 hour drive back :D i got to watch amature surfers showing off their skills and, my favorite, the super groms showing off their mad skills - SO adorable. AND i got to run into the salty ocean water and be reunited with its beauty and experience its unfailing ability to wash away every care in the world, though temporary. i absolutely love that God has created the ocean for us to enjoy. absolutely love it.

today casey's "boyfriend" (she doesn't like calling him that, but for lack of a better word...:) ) todd took us out on his boat on Smith Mountain lake and we got to go water skiing. i chose not to, after being reminded of my failed attempts at wakeboarding a year ago. and the wipeouts look painful. maybe next time. :) but it was SO great to just be out on the boat, jumping into the middle of the lake and experiencing FRESH water. it's crazy to jump in and surface for air without having that super salty taste in your mouth. and i got to drive the boat while todd water skiied - that rocked. it was my 1st time driving a boat with someone skiing off the back.

and here i sit, once again back in l-burg at my apartment. sipping my decaf coffee. wondering if this update will mean that Becky will update her blog now :)

keep it real.
~jen~

one more thing

i thought i'd post the website of the ministry we're going down to the DR to help.

http://www.dominicancrossroads.com/

His fingerprints

Can you see God's fingerprints on specific events in your life that led to specific events that led to specific events? if you be still and reflect on what's happened in your life over the past year or so, i bet you'd be able to see some of His fingerprints. tonight i was hit by an awareness to God's fingerprints in my life over the past year in a specific area.

i'll try to keep this relatively short and non-ramblish. :)

last fall, God really laid something on my heart during a "missions emphasis" week at school that i never forgot. He opened my eyes to how much of the world does not even know about this amazing, loving Creator who desires to deeply for them to know Him. i'm not good at speaking in front of people. i'm not all that great with little kids. i wanted to be used by God to reach people, but didn't know how. but He gave me a vision that week of how i could mix my love for multimedia with missions. i suddenly had this realization that i could go along with mission teams and document the trips on video, putting together multimedia to bring back to the States to raise awareness of what is going on in the world, in hope of spurring others into action. i had never really wanted to do much with overseas missions, but suddenly i had this desire to go. i just didn't know when or where, but i started praying about it and i was open to it.

then right after thanksgiving, i get a phone call from andy, asking if i'd like to intern with the youth ministry down here in the Keys. i would be doing video work for the ministry, which was something i enjoy doing. so i jumped at the opportunity, but was a little discouraged that i wasn't going to be going on any mission trips anytime soon now.

so i get down here, and within the first week or 2, a friend down here showed me her friend's blog on myspace. this girl lives in the dominican republic, and ministry is her life down there. her blog broke my heart. the poverty, the sickness, the need for Jesus down in the DR. i wanted desperately to go down there, to help in some way, and to also document what's going on down there to bring awareness to the States. but i had no clue how i would be able to get down there and so i didn't think i'd be going down there anytime soon.

however, shortly after that day, i was asked if i would like to go with a group down to this exact place in the DR for a week this summer...wow. how could i say no? i was already seeing God's hand in all of this.

so i sign up, i pay my deposit. i have money in my bank account to cover a good portion of the trip, if i wasn't able to raise the money. then an unexpected financial situation came up and i found myself down to about...$20 to my name (yes, that would be including both of my savings and checking accounts). i still had tons of money to raise to go to the DR and i had no income. talk about discouraging. i didn't know what God was trying to tell me, but i wasn't ready to give up on this trip to the DR just yet.

i showed up at every carwash, yardsale, bake sale, and spaghetti dinner fundraiser that i could. i was able to go home to MI for a week and work all week for my dad's company. i get a phone call this week from lisa (she's heading up the trip) and find out i only have $110 left to pay for the trip, and i hang up, so excited because i had that much (not a whole lot more) in my bank account from working for my dad. so i run and tell my sister the great news, and she tells me even BETTER news! someone had donated money toward me, sadie, and andy's trips and it was enough to cover my $110 i had left!! praise the Lord!!!!

so i am leaving next thursday, july 27th, for the DR and i am so incredibly stoked! tonight, after looking back and seeing all of God's fingerprints on this trip, i can't help but be stoked because i know this is what God has planned out for me.

on another note of excitement: this ministry that we're going down to work with, part of their ministry is building concrete homes for Haitian refugees to get them out of the dumps and shacks (if they're even considered shacks). it only costs $3,000 to build one of these homes for a family. today a man donated $3,000 for us to take down to have a home built!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how awesome is that?!?!

i, for one, am truly stoked by God this week.

keep it real.
~jen~

spastic cat

there is a spastic kitty jumping from mattress to bookshelf to mattress to floor to 2nd mattress to other mattress to the back of my plastic chair, only to find she can't get a hold on it and she slides down the arm of the chair, back to the ground to start this routine over again...

she's psycho.

i had 2 funny reminders today that i am officially living in the Keys. 1, i saw a super sweet, super expensive cadillac today at the gas station. as i was admiring the fine specimen, i see a skinny, middle-age dude with long, greying scraggly hair walking toward the pumps. i think "wow, at first i thought HE might be the owner of that car, but now that i see him - ha - no way!" but sure enough...he jumps on in. it proves the point that the majority of the population down here consists of middle to late-aged people who have a lot of money, who move down here and become too lazy to take care of themselves but they sure know how to waste their money.

and 2, and the more humorous of the 2. you know you're in a tropical environment when you swerve to miss iguanas instead of swerving to miss "normal" typical roadkill (i.e. raccoons, squirrels, rabbits, etc.). i have only seen 1 roadkill raccoon down here (which, to this day still stumps me - i have no clue how wild animals get down this far into the Keys when only bridges connect the islands). but today i watched an iguana taking his time, walking down the side of the road as i drove past. and the other day, me and my friend Lisa were driving down a neighborhood street and see an iguana blocking our lane. i come to a COMPLETE stop, and the iguana just sits there in front of my car. so i inch forward more and more, and i get so close to it that i can't even see it. it takes a couple tiny steps. finally, lisa jumps out of the car and starts walking up to it and it takes off into the trees. suicidal little thing, more scared of a human than of a car.

alright, time to catch the kitty and send her out of my room so i can sleep in peace without a little furball jumping up in the middle of the night to attack my head.

keep it real.
~jen~

a cool colored wall

well, since you guys have given such a great response to my new ability & skills of posting pictures, i felt bad going to bed without giving you all something to entertain you. this is a picture i took of me a week or 2 ago in the half of the bathroom that is done (the sink) and the cool color we did on the walls. now, everybody go, "ooooh!"

keep it real.
~jen~

a new specimen

so i come home sunday night and find a group of guys standing in the dining room looking at me with a suspicious look on their faces. i walked past them, turned around to question them, and then realized they had now turned their focus to something underneath the table. despite hearing them tell me, "you don't see anything!", i saw it. i believe most americans call this thing a "cat". it turns out that one of the guys (joel) living here was given this kitten, so now we have a feline living amongst us. i despise cats. i think they're stuck up, they shed, they pee on things, they scratch, and they bite and infect people (right, Becky?).

and wouldn't you know it, this little thing decided she likes MY room the most. and since joel is gone most of the day, i feel bad locking it in his room. so i have given in and allowed Zion (that's the kitten's name) to enter my room. stinkin' little thing is pretty cute, i'll give her that. i think she's like, 8 weeks old or something, i really don't know. but she's tiny. i guess this just prepares me for my apartment next year, where it looks like both of my roommates will be bringing cats - sick.

yea for mondays

i love mondays down here. mondays are our "day off" where we get to go play if we want and don't have to work on STS (the ministry here) stuff. today we went out fishing on andy's dad's boat. it was my 1st time fishing in salt water!! we didn't catch any keeper-size fish, but i was just excited to catch as many fish as we did. and we saw a sea turtle!!!! like, 4 times! he decided he wanted to chill by our boat all day i guess. and one of the 1st fish i caught died somehow (he swallowed the hook, so i think that aided his earthly departure) so we threw it back in the water and a bird came and swooped it up. and THEN (yes, i enjoyed my day, can you tell?) we saw a huge baracuda right next to our boat and it swam away. then sadie caught a fish and was reeling it in and it was right next to the boat and the cuda came and grabbed the fish off the line (hook and all - talk about stomach ache). then maya was reeling in a fish and a cuda came and sliced off her line and got her fish & hook. crazy.
here's a picture of 1 of my fish. it's a yellowtail...something. and we kept catching these fish called "grunts" and they're so cool 'cause they actually make a grunting noise when they're out of the water. man...God's creations are just so cool :)

a must-listen-to

Audrey Assad rocks my face off and i want you guys to hear some of her music! check out her myspace - http://www.myspace.com/audreyassadsings and enjoy! she was down here last week and helped lead worship at our youth group last Thursday. she has got such a beautiful, God-given gift for music (not only her voice, but she is absolutely amazing on the piano). go listen!

keep it real.
~jen~

PS - Nancy, i'm trying to set up a website for the youth ministry down here and have like, 2.46 questions. can you call me when you get a chance? :D

ode to the bathroom

i like to call it our "3rd world bathroom". you kinda feel like you're in some poverty-stricken place and you're tempted to really go for the full effect and sustain from using toilet paper...but then reality hits and you decide that as long as there's toilet paper there, you might as well use it. it's the last room to be reconstructed since the hurricane last October. i'm convinced i'm going to open the door one day and find a huge cock-a-roach waiting for me. that's why i always enter with flip flops.



once you survive the entry, all that's left to do is sit and enjoy the view.


keep it real.
~jen~

pictures now included!

 

people of the world! every boy and every girl! people of the world! ahhhhhhhhh --
(that was a spice girls song...anyone catch that?)

i finally downloaded picasa on this computer so i can blog with pictures :) this pic is from our carwash this past saturday. we did a carwash to try to raise money for our trip to the Dominican Republic. yes, that's a fire truck behind us - i would have to say that they were our "biggest" customer - ah-hahaha i'm so funny. we raised over $500 at the carwash, but when you divide that among all the people that worked at it...we didn't really make a ton :) but we sure had fun! (wow, that rhymed. i'm a poet and didn't even know it. does anybody want a peanut??)

more to come.

keep it real.
~jen~ 

i set my alarm clock tonight

6:50am. that's what i set it for. do you realize how long it's been (or how long it FEELS it's been) since i've had to set an alarm? i'm getting used to this life in tropical paradise-on-earth. stay up late and sleep in 'til around 8:30 or whenever my biological clock decides it's time to get up.

so, yes. i finally plugged in my alarm clock tonight and set it for 6:50am. we're headed to O-Town (Orlando) for the weekend for a girl's graduation. i'm going along to take care of Lucy while everyone's at the graduation festivities. she's almost 2 1/2 years old, but my sister just doesn't feel Lucy's quite ready to watch herself yet. hey, i'm not complainin'.

yes, most of you have probably heard by now, but it's the biggest news of my life for the week so i will say it again. i saw my 1st scorpion this week and it was horrific. it's tail alone was about 3 inches long. and andy said it was a "little" one. pssssccchh. if that was little, i don't want to see what's "normal". the good news is that it was dead. supposedly they crawl out into open areas when they're about to die, and so that's what this one had done. oh and i walked into my room last night and was greeted by a 2-3 inch long cockroach. he (or she, for that matter. i didn't take the time to inspect it's sexual orientation before yelling for help) is now sufficiently squished into various pieces and shoved under the crack in the wall, thanks to Kiedis (a friend who came down for the week to help work on the house). i check on it periodically to make sure it didn't reattach itself and crawl away. apparently, you can cut the head off a cockroach and it'll live 'til it starves to death. so for all i know, this cockroach could very well reattach it's entrails and come after me.

sound the trumpets!! i have a ticket booked to fly home from July 3-11th! WOO WOOOOT!

i'm having a great time getting to know the people down here. and learning how life goes down here. it's almost a different culture, in some aspects. here's the shocker of the day: i haven't even been to the beach yet! i've been here just over a week now, and haven't gone to the beach! i came so close to getting to go last night, but then lucy ruined our chance by not listening to her mommy, so we didn't get to go. sad. i tried to explain to sadie that lucy is her own person, and if lucy wants to only eat candy and marshmellows for dinner, that's totally fine. but sadie just doesn't get it, i guess. (totally kidding :) i can't remember what exactly lucy did that got us all punished, but i'm sure it was cute).

alright dudes, i was going to write about what i've been learning lately but my computer has finished it's updates that i was waiting for it to finish and i want to go to bed. you go to bed, too.

keep it real.
~jen~

summer time is just around the weekend!

yes, i see you all sitting there with your jaws dropped open, your eyes wide and tears welling up. i am putting up a new post. the day has arrived. cheers errupt.

:D

it was has been one crazy semester. it started off slow and gained speed quickly. i've been working around 30-40 hours a week for the past month and a half, and i forget the fact that i'm also taking 18 credit hours :) it's just so hard to come home from work, after sitting in front of a computer for hours taking orders over the phone and doing customer service, and come home to just sit more in front of my computer to do homework and video projects. not my idea of fun. and therefore, i'm behind on some video projects. stink.

but! the good news of the day. i just turned in my 15 minute final video project. i just submitted my 21 page script (the inventor of double-spacing is my hero), 10 page outline of my script, and character biographies all for my scriptwriting class. and all i have left (school-wise) are 3 measley little finals that i'm not too worried about. praise the Lord!!

and the best news of all. a week from today, i will be crusin' in my car with Benton, down to fort lauderdale where we'll spend the night with our good friend Holly. then i'll drop Benton off at the airport on Tuesday and finish my trek down to the Keys for the summer! YEA! the time has arrived and i am so stoked :D it's going to be a stretching summer, but i'm so excited to see how God changes me and uses me in other's lives (i'm hoping i allow Him to use me, anyway).

my last final is Thursday at 8am. woot wooooot!

nancy, join facebook. everybody's doing it.

keep it real.
~jen~

"breathe"

another beautiful time at church this morning. i was so unsatisfied with "church" last semester. i didn't like what i experienced going on at churches i'd go to and i began to wonder if i'd ever find a church i could go to and not feel guilty going to. i did start going regularly (that's a relative term) for about a month to one church that was not as conservative as the church i went to back home but still not completely modernized. and i enjoyed it to an extent and there were some great messages but i still didn't feel all-around satisfied with going there. this semester i've started going to a new church and i absolutely love it. i've come to the realization (a very FREEING realization) that we all are drawn to different styles of churches. doctrinally speaking, there's not a lot of room to budge. but with the issue of the style of church, i've realized that it's okay to pick a church based on my preference of style (as long as, of course, it's doctrinally sound). and by realizing this, it's also allowed me to accept the way some churches "do church". it's not my way of doing things, but it's other people's ways and props to them for going to a church that they can serve in and be challenged & grow in. needless to say, my bitterness i had developed towards some places has greatly gone down and i thank the Lord for that because it was eating away at me daily.

so anyway, the 1st few weeks or so of this semester, the pastor was doing a series called "Home" and basically it was a series of messages teaching what the mission of this church was, why they were heading toward this specific vision, and how they were going to introduce new programs to the church. and what was so cool was that my whole idea of what the local church should be matches up nearly exactly with what this church's idea is. i'm just sad that after i'm done at liberty, i don't plan on living in this area and so i know my time at this church probably won't be too long-term. but - you never know, right? :) hmm...OR! or maybe the term "church plant" will take on a whole new meaning - it will mean taking a local church and moving the entire church body to a new location so they can continue with their mission together in a new place (obviously, that place would be wherever i end up moving to after liberty - hehehe :) it's not selfishness...well...okay maybe it is).

wow, am i rambling? yeah, pretty sure.

the message this morning was part 2 of a series called "Breathe". everyone fears something (or some-things) in life. we fear things (sharks!), people (public speaking - hello), death, the unknown (natural disasters, the supernatural, etc). we allow these things to paralyze us. i know i allow them to. the funny thing was, the pastor used the example of his fear of sharks, which i can strongly relate to (AND, oddly enough, it all goes back to him going behind his parent's backs and sneaking peeks of the movie "JAWS" when it was on TV when he was 7 or 8...hmm...sounds a lot like someone else i know...sorry mom & dad :) ). we fear people, not only speaking in front of groups, but we also fear what people think about us. we wonder if they're staring at the big zit we have on our chin or if they're secretly laughing hysterically at our bed-head hair. i can't tell you how many opportunities i've passed up in life because i gave in to my fears.

most of us know the passage in Matthew 6, the passage on "Do Not Worry". yeah, my Bible pretty much flips open to that page when you drop it on the ground. but do we actually live our lives like we believe it? i often think, "oh, that passage just means when you're tight on money and can't make ends meet". but it's so much more than that. it applies to every aspect of our lives. to overcome fear, we've got to accept God's care for our life. His indescribable love for us and His overwhelming desire to care for us when we humble ourselves before Him and realize our desperate need for Him DAILY. 1 Peter 5:6-7 tells us to humble ourselves before the Lord and He will lift us up in due time. "in due time" - this means we might be uncomfortable for a time, but God promises to life us up in His good and perfect timing. the verse goes on to tell us to cast all our cares upon Him because He cares for us.

where fear exists, love can't. and where love can't, we can't be really living the life God calls us to. when fear overcomes us and we don't trust in God's care, we pass opportunities from God up and aren't fully carrying out God's work He's given us. this is not to say God can never use us again once we drop the ball. but until we overcome our fears by trusting in God's care for our lives, we're going to continue missing amazing opportunities He gives us.

i like how the pastor put it - "when you partner with God, why would He not care for you?" Matthew 6 goes on to say, "But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." If you're fully surrendering your life (including your fears) to God, He WILL care for us completely and help us to carry out the plan, the purpose He has for each of our lives.

so, i don't know about you. but i've got a lot of livin' to do now. :) 1st thing's 1st - i'm goin' surfin'!!!! :D

(and please don't write me off as being shallow and assuming the only application i took away from this message was that i can now overcome my fear of sharks and live out my dream of going surfing :) this message of overcoming fear is life-changing if i (you) put it into action. let's get out there and start taking the opportunities God gives us to be used by Him in every area of life!)

wow, is it almost midnight? my 7:50am class suddenly seems a lot closer now...stink.

keep it real.
~jen~

a humerous Bible moment

so i'm reading Exodus 8 today in the mall parking lot (that's another story, but yes, the mall parking lot) and i came across something that made me laugh and re-read it to see if i was really comprehending it correctly. in chapter 8, God sends the plague of frogs on Pharaoh and the Egyptians. Pharaoh calls Moses & Aaron in and asks them to pray to God to remove the frogs. Moses is, like (okay, this is Jen-phrased, but it's accurate, go check for yourself :) ), "Alright, sure, when do you want me to pray that?" and Pharaoh says, "Dude, like...tomorrow." TOMORROW!? what? did he seriously want to have one last night of sharing his house with tons of frogs hopping and pooping (yeah, frogs do that too) everywhere? i don't understand the man. but it's Pharaoh we're talking about, i mean...c'mon, it took losing his firstborn son in order to let him let the Israelites out of slavery and even THEN he chased after them. it just stumps me as to why Pharaoh asked Moses & Aaron to pray "tomorrow" instead of "RIGHT NOW!" crazy man.

i drew a picture of a butterfly today. okay, no i didn't. but i did finish my perspective drawing of the corner of my room and my dresser. it's due in my art class tomorrow. and i must say, it turned out much better than i planned. you can actually tell what it is. who says miracles don't happen? :) i'm horrible at drawing, but i have to take this class in order to take any graphic design classes. go figure.

i've discovered this amazing new technique in life recently. it's called "getting things done instead of sitting down and thinking about what i have to do". it's amazing! i've discovered that writing a quick note and sticking it in the mail to send to a friend (yes, SNAIL MAIL! :::gasp:::) is incredibly easier than i thought. mailing checks in to pay for bills is also extremely easy if you just take a couple minutes to write the check and put it in the envelope. even going to the gym fits in this category. my 7:50am class was canceled this morning and since i wasn't able to sleep in (a house of 4 girls means non-quiet early mornings) i laid in bed thinking about how i should go to the gym. BUT instead of deciding on a satisfying excuse to not go, i decided to just get out of bed and go to the gym, even if i only ran on the treadmill for 5 minutes (thankfully, i did exceed that goal on the treadmill, but not by much). and guess what. i felt great the rest of the day because i made the decision to just do it, even though i didn't really want to at the time. oh! and i've also discovered how easy it is to just snap a quick picture of yourself and send it to people for a random bit o' fun!

just call me miss productive from now on. or rita watson. whichever you prefer.

keep it real.
~jen~

66 n 06

as most of you who read this already know, i just got back to my house at school tonight after a busy weekend trip home! i got to fly home for bree's wedding, which was SO much fun! i think it was the fastest trip i've ever taken home. flew home friday afternoon, flew back sunday afternoon. but it was worth it. i even got home in time to catch the end of 2nd quarter and the rest of the super bowl game :D

so, 66 n 06. what is it? it's a commitment that the campus pastors at LU have been encouraging students to make this year. it's reading through the Bible in one year (hence, 66 books of the Bible in '06...and yet still i know there's SOMEONE out there who's still not catching on...haha okay just kidding :)). anyway, i'm reading through the Bible this year, something i've never actually accomplished since my parents did it with me and my sister when we were in elementary school (wow, that's embarassing).

anyway, so i started it a week or 2 ago. and this past week we had a speaker come to LU and he was talking about how we lack so much in our view of how big God really is. How powerful and in control He really is. he pointed out a few people in the Bible who had atleast a little bigger view of God. like Moses, seeing God part the Red Sea. David, seeing God empower him to overcome Goliath. these guys trusted in the Lord as they carried out what God had called them to do. the tasks seemed impossible. but they got to see a glimpse of God's power. their view of God was increased. so this speaker dude encouraged us, as we read anything in Scripture, to allow the Holy Spirit to increase our views of God. that we may see and learn more and more about God from every single passage we read. because the Bible is...well, it's essentially all about God. so just in the past week, as i've continued reading thru Genesis, i've been trying to read it with the mindset of, "okay, how is God moving in this passage? where is the hand of God?" and it is so amazing!! it's not always easy, mainly because i'm not used to reading passages with that mindset. sometimes i find myself just looking for the places where it says "And the Lord said..." or whatever. and while, yes, that counts...it's kinda cheating :)

God stokes me so much. i'm so excited to see what God will do in 2006 in the lives of people i know, especially in my family, friends, and well...my own life as well.

keep it real.
~jen~

the hook-up

oh happy day, we're getting cable internet today at our house!! blogs will be updated much more regularly, children will be singing in the streets (joyfully, with full bellys), and we shall eat fattened calfs!

wow that's random.

more-regularly-updated blogging to occur in the short, near future.

keep it real.
~jen~

joyful joyful

quick post. just checked the 10-day forecast for lynchburg, VA and the day after i get back there, it's supposed to be 65 degrees. beautimus. absolutely beautimus. i actually teared up, i was that excited. :D

statistics

from woodtv.com:

"Today represents the 46th day in a row that Grand Rapids and most of the rest of West Michigan has received a trace or more of precipitation. Also we've had 14 days in row with no sunshine. If we don't receive any today then we will have tied the all time record."

they make it sound like they WANT to tie the record. sick people.

12

when you hear the number "12", what do you think of? perhaps you think of the number..."12". okay, so we all probably do. but get past that. think deeper. you may think "12" months of the year; "12" days of Christmas"; "12" tribes of Israel (?? it sounds right...). but i bet you would never think of what i am about to associate with the number "12". today marks the 12th consecutive day of total cloud-cover in Michigan. for those of you who live in more sun-drenched places (ie, anywhere but michigan), that means we have not seen even a hint of the sun in 12 consecutive days. you go outside at 11am and feel like it's 5pm. it's dark. it's drizzling. it's foggy. it's total evidence of the Fall of Man, if you ask me.

sometimes i like to lay on my couch, floor, bed, anything flat, and close my eyes and pretend to be in a warm, tropical environment. i repeat to myself over and over the fact that i will be in the Florida Keys for my spring break in march. not only do i have that to look forward to, but i quite possibly might be spending my 3 months of summer living in the Keys working with a youth ministry down there called STS (student to student).

okay, totally did a segway (spelling?) there - man, that was smooth.

for those who didn't catch it, yes, i am in fact looking at heading down to the tropical Keys this summer and interning with the ministry down there where my sister & bro-in-law are working. andy called me about a week before i came home for Christmas break and asked if i'd be interested in interning down there to help out with the ministry, specifically with videography. i have wanted to work with STS for a few years now and i came close to going down there for a couple months about 2 years ago but totally didn't have the money to do it. there's such a darkness in people's lives down there, including the kids'. i'm so stoked to even have the opportunity to go down there finally and help.

so if God randomly brings it to anyone's mind, i'm asking that you pray for me as i finalize plans to go down there. i'm not totally set on going down yet, so i'm praying about it and praying that God will give me a peace about which route to go with my summer.

here's to the sunshine.

keep it real.
~jen~

a thought on pride

i've just started a new book i got over Thanksgiving break, it's called "Humility - True Greatness" by C.J. Mahaney. since i didn't have to work today and everyone is out of my house doing different things, i decided it was a good time to sit in my quiet house and do a little reading. i read the following passage and i think it has so much impact to it that i couldn't help but post it on here. and as a disclaimer, i wasn't reading this passage thinking "oh, so and so needs to hear this" or anything, and the quoting of this passage is not directed at anybody, so no one go off and think "oh she SO wrote that because of me, i hate her and her sombrero!"...or anything like that. it's just a passage that impacted me in a big way when i read it and i pray it will continue to impact me.

"Pride takes innumerable forms but has only one end: self-glorification. That's the motive and ultimate purpose of pride - to rob God of legitimate glory and to pursue self-glorification, contending for supremacy with Him. The proud person seeks to glorify himself and not God, thereby attempting in effect to deprive God of something only He is worhty to receive. No wonder God opposes pride. No wonder He hates pride." (pg. 32)

pride is one of those sins that sometimes is not blatantly visible in people's lives. if someone has a problem with getting drunk, you know it. if someone has a problem with sexual morality, you know it. it's visible, you see their struggle. THEY know they're sinning (i'm talking from a believer's standpoint). pride often hides below the surface. it's a sin that is hard to realize you have unless you take time to allow the Holy Spirit to search your heart and show you where you struggle in living a life in total submission to the Lord. but it's such a serious sin. i'd even venture to say that pride is, in essence, at the root of all sin. it's a serious sin that's often not taken seriously.

back to reading.

keep it real.
~jen~

this little thing called "L..."

no, not love.

it's this little thing named Lucy that has kept me busy the past week and a half. andy, sadie, and lucy flew in on the 18th and are staying until Jan. 2nd. i'm getting tons of time in with them and it's been so much fun! i'm anxious to spend some more time with my friends though (for real, guys!). but i know that after they leave next monday, i'll have tons and tons of time to run around with a sombrero on my head and scream "holy guacamole!" with my friends.

i'm sitting here, drinking my coffee, waiting for the rest of the gang to get ready so we can FINALLY go to kregel and pick up some new music.

i caved this week. i went and saw Narnia with my family. ONLY because my mom had free gift certificates for all of us to go so i didn't have to pay. i've never been a fan of the Narnia stuff. yes, i hear those gasps of disbelief from you all. i don't like Narnia, i don't like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, i don't like the Wizard of Oz, i don't like Lord of the Rings. there, i said it. i don't know why i don't like these movies, but i think it's because of the overwhelming presence of masked characters. i have a phobia of people in masks. yes, i'm weird. i also can't stand lipstick, it makes me want to gag.

Narnia was a very well-made movie and has such an awesome message to it. i'll give it that. i might even watch it again if someone rents it.

it is so dark and gloomy out. it's been like this pretty much all week. when i lived in california, i would've been so stoked to have a dark and gloomy day. i'd get all excited and want to curl up inside and hope for a big thunderstorm. that's because it was usually sunny there and to have full cloud-cover was rare. in michigan, it's more rare to see the sun than to see the clouds (especially in the winter). so while it's exciting for maybe the first day, after the 1,248,309th consecutive day of darkness, it gets a little old.

so maybe that's a little bit of an exaggeration. but still.

possibly some big plans in the works for this summer. stay tuned as they solidify. (oooh - now i have you curious, eh?)

kregel, here i come.

keep it real.
~jen~

Soon to come

new post soon to come, i half promise. after this next monday (dec. 5th i think) i'll have time to write up something. stay tuned, yo.

keep it real.
jen

the idea of posting overwhelms me

yes, that's right. the idea of posting overwhelms me. because i have so much i want to post and i can never decide where to start. and many of the things i don't even know if i should post about. some people get offended. some people don't like being "preached" to. others would rather me just talk about random things i do each day instead of what God's doing in my life. do you really want me to spew all the stuff that's running through my head, that keeps me awake some nights? nah, that'd probably cause a mess. some stuff's just not meant for blogging.

the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! (hahaha okay, totally being sarcastingly dramatic there, just had to throw in a movie quote)

oh, don't worry. there's lots of good stuff going on in this head of mine too. :) i am so thankful that i can know the God that desires to have every moment with me, desires to know every detail of my life, desires to be my one true desire.

my laptop is making weird whirrring noises. it probably's about time to turn it off for the night. here's to a super busy week ahead. thanksgiving break is gonna feel goooood :D

keep it real.
~jen~

update on my family in the Keys

just thought i'd share an update on my sister, bro-in-law, niece, and friends who live in Marathon, FL (in the florida keys). it had looked like hurricane wilma might not impact them much, but instead it was one of the hardest hit Keys. go figure.

little lucy butt slept thru the entire thing last night, which was a blessing. the rest of them didn't get much sleep because the hurricane was so loud. they woke up in the morning and thought they had faired pretty well. andy & shane took the truck out and drove around the area to assess the damage and the neighbors on another street warned them the storm surge was coming in quick. they went down another street and sure enough, saw tons of water coming down the road. they rushed home and had about 15 minutes to get everything they could and put it up high. the storm surge flooded their house and cars with about 2 feet of water (which also included sewage). the water has gone out now, but there is so much damage. sadie's car flooded up to the windows and looks like it is unsalvageable but they've got andy's truck running. a couple from the church had an empty condo on the 14th floor of a building that they were looking for renters for, so the 5 of them (sadie, andy, lucy, shane, and jenna) are all going to rent the condo for the next month while they fix up the house.

please pray for them when the Lord brings them to your mind.
pray for:
-peace, comfort
-sanity, as cramming 5 people in 1 condo will definitely be a test of patience (sadie & andy are married, shane heads up the youth ministry, and jenna is working in the keys for a little while longer until she joins her husband on the west coast - so obviously, they're all from different situations)
-pray for the safety of their belongings left in the house; they had to leave the house open tonight to air it out so mold won't start growing, so pray that God protects their house from looters
-pray for guidance as they decide what the best steps to take are

it is so hard knowing they need help but not being able to be there to help them.

and marissa - they did get some video, but my mom wasn't sure if they got it of the actual hurricane :P thought you'd be interested to know that.

keep it real.
please pray for them.
~jen~

drumroll, please

here it is. a new post. isn't it so like...such a let-down when you see someone has a blog listed in their profile or something and you click on it to see what's going on in their life and they haven't updated it for like...80 years? yeah...

the problem has been that i think about putting up a new post and i'm so overwhelmed with the decision of what to write about, because i have so much i've been being taught by God lately.

a lot's been going on, both good and bad. i'll be honest, it's been a rough semester :) the 2 most recent things:

1, i got a call today from a dude who's car i backed into when he blocked my car in at my house. he's one of the construction guys. he finally got an estimate on his car, and it's going to cost most of my savings to fix it. i'll have maybe $100 left, period, if i combined my 2 bank accounts. there goes all the hard work saving my money over the summer. i have no clue how fixing the scratch on his driver's door could cost $500+...we live in an expensive world.

2, sadie, andy, lucy, and shane have decided they're going to ride out hurricane wilma down in the keys. so that's just a tad bit (okay, a bit more than a tad) unnerving knowing they're down there and waiting to see what happens with the hurricane. crazy kids.

i went to Sweet Briar college (all-girls school) tonight for their chapel service. tara & laura were leading worship and tabitha was giving the message (her testimony). it was beautiful. it was one of those times where i totally knew God had brought me there for a reason. i was reminded of how temporary things are. my house, my belongings, my money, even my body. praise God thru the storms and ever-intensify your passion for Jesus.

here's the update on my house: it's not done, i'm living in the hotel still with tara. atleast i finally get to live with this amazing girl. now i've gotten to live with all my roommates separately (kristen all last year, heidi for the first month of this semester, and now tara) and i love living with them all!! which is a good thing, and i knew i would, but it's just extra enforced now :) i can't wait 'til we all live together under the same roof (and that doesn't count the hotel's roof).

well, i've finished my decaf coffee. that means it's time to wrap this up.

keep it real.
~jen~

post #71

i have broken past my 70th post on this thing! that's a lot of expelliationing of thoughts, eh? 70 posts. and here's to 71. going strong.

so i will confess, i'm a dork. i wanted to see if i had posted about the Under the Overpass book i read in may, so i went to my May archives and ended up reading all the posts from the month :) not incredibly dorky. but wait, there's more. as i read, i started laughing out loud...at my own wise cracks and sarcasm. i'm thinking, "ha ha - man, i'm funny". so, i don't know if you guys get a kick out of reading my posts, but i sure do :D my old posts, anyway. the vast majority of my recent posts have been pretty lacking on the humor side, so i'll try to spice things back up.

but not tonight. i want to go read Lamentations :D mmmmmmmm!

keep it real.
~jen~

only in the everglades

i felt i should share this with you guys, just incase you're thinking about letting your pet alligators loose in the everglades... (???)

creepy.

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9600151/

flooding produces more patience :)

who ever thought the remnants of a tropical depression that came across northern florida could produce so many problems way up in central virginia? atleast 1 of the LU dorm buildings flooded, lightning hit a tower so LU had a power outage friday which canceled all friday classes, and jodi & jess's basement apartment has flooded. (well, not flooded-flooded. i don't know what you call it. but water's soaking thru the walls and the carpet and some places when you step on the carpet, water comes up over your foot :P ). there's mold growing already and apparently it smells horrible in here (notice, i said "apparently"). since all of the carpet will have to be replaced and a couple of the walls torn down and rebuilt, they're going to move to an apartment for the rest of the semester at least. so, probably early this next week we'll be moving all their stuff and my stuff (well...the stuff that's not in my storage unit) into an apartment. this is move #4 for me this semester. and i still haven't gotten to move into my house. :) it's been a crazy, testing semester, that's for sure.

i find with each move, i'm less and less phased by it. my dad said God's teaching me how to be flexible. well, it's sure working. :) that's the only good thing i can find that's come from this semester so far. i think He's teaching me how to live a more simplified life, too. i have a feeling by the time i move into my house, i'll want to give away (or throw away) a ton of the little knick-knack things i have, just because i've lived this much of the semester just fine without them and all they do is take up space.

i'm a pretty firm believer that everything happens for a reason. and no matter what the circumstance, we are able to bring glory to God regardless. but i'll be honest, it's been really hard to find out what the point of all this craziness has been. maybe i'll never know. or maybe (more likely), i'll find out the reason farther down the road.

oh!! i finally am getting some hours at j crew this week! that's a big answer to prayer (isn't it awesome when you pray about something and can see the prayer answered right before your eyes??). i just have 14 hours scheduled, but i am so thankful just for anything. a little income is better than no income, eh?

i've been going to Redeemer Presbyterian church the past few Sundays. i went once last semester and loved it and went to the Monday night college Bible studies. i'm pretty sure i'm going to make Redeemer the church i attend regularly while i'm here at LU. i love going, i'm challenged by the message each week and there is just so much love and joy that is evident in the church body. what's been really cool for me to experience is going to a church where the worship style isn't my preference, but yet i can still worship and fellowship and be challenged. the worship style is traditional and they mainly sing hymns and laid-back choruses, but the ones they pick to sing have beautiful lyrics that you can sing and truly mean because you can understand what you're singing.

it made me a little nervous last semester to think of going to a, dare i say it? presbyterian church. because i was raised in a Bible church, then in a baptist church, visited among the non-denominational churches. but never went to a presbyterian church. what i've learned though, is that many presbyterian churches are right on, doctrinally speaking. i've never been crazy about labeling myself as a specific denom.. what matters to me is that the church is a Bible-believing church, a church that is pleasing to God and seeks to glorify Him. that the messages are from the Word of God and not just some preacher's "ideas". i'm not a baptist. i'm not a presbyterian. i'm a follower of Christ.

keep it real.
~jen~

a new post!!

Sorry for the lack of updates people. I moved out of my wireless-internet hotel room this past weekend and am living once again with jodi & Jessica. It should only be for a week and then hopefully this weekend we can move into our house. But I really don’t plan on anything these days so we’ll see if it really happens.

I’m watching the televised broadcast of the Super Conference going on at Liberty right now. I decided to stay home tonight and watch it on TV instead of actually going to it. Just for kicks and giggles. And it does in fact make me giggle. See, there’s these 4 massive screens hanging in the 4 corners of the arena that the conference is being held in (which is also where we have chapel and campus church, among other things). Anyway, it’s always so funny when a choir will be singing and the camera zooms in on a certain person singing. They’re just singing along and then they catch a glimpse of themselves on one of the huge screens and rarely can they ever keep going on like normal. They get this smile on their face and sometimes they even start laughing and pointing (okay, so the only ones who’ve done that were the little kids who sang once, but still - it was adorable). It’s just funny, ‘cause you know if it was you you’d probably get that goofy grin on your face too. Now falwell’s speaking. I’ll stop there. :)

One other thing that makes me giggle is when ensembles are performing and at the same exact point in the song, they extend their hands out in front of them (not lifted up - extended straight out) in praise(?). I am in no way against people expressing themselves as they worship our awesome Lord. But it just doesn’t seem as like…genuine and sincere when you see a singing ensemble do the same exact thing at the same exact time, all while looking out at the crowd. Hey, they could be as sincere and genuine as ever - but still, it just makes me giggle. :D

Here’s an item for discussion that I’d like to hear anyone’s thoughts on. What do you think is the appropriate dress for church and why? Does it matter to you - and why? If you do think there is a certain way to dress for church, what do you think when you see someone wearing attire that doesn’t represent what you believe is appropriate?

If nobody responds, I’m never going to post again (yes, that’s supposed to be a threat - not a reward). :D

Keep it real.
~jen~

true sports fans

you can't say you're a true sports fan until you pull a stunt like this one:

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/americas/09/21/fake.emergency.ap/index.html

i think this just might cross over the line to "extreme infatuation" and/or perhaps mental instability.

:)

keep it real, and keep the planes flyin'.
~jen~

the emergent mystery

i thought the title was a nice play on words. the whole emergent church movement embraces mystery (the mystery of God, the mystery of the Bible, etc), yet the movement itself remains a great mystery to me.

i'm listening through the messages given at the 1-day conference that Grand Rapids Theological Seminary held last week. one of the speakers covers the topic of "hell" and says the emergent church movement does not believe in a literal hell, that it was just a teaching tool Jesus and the disciples used. then brian mclaren, a big leader in the movement, spoke again later that day and said he can't speak for all the emergent churches, but he for one does indeed believe in a literal hell, the sacrifice of God's son, the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ. which raises the following questions - what does the "emerging church" movement believe exactly, and why don't all the churches in the movement believe the same things? because if all the churches within a certain "movement" don't all agree on basic doctrine...how can you classify them all under the same movement? and if they do differ in doctrine, is it possible then that some emergent churches are truly great churches, while other emergent churches have crossed the line to being unbiblical?

on that issue of hell that was raised, it's ridiculous to say there's no literal hell. because if there's no hell, that would mean Christ's death and resurrection was for no reason, that would mean that the "Great Commission" has no application, and then why even live your life for God? because if everyone gets to go to heaven, what's the difference between someone living their life for God and someone living their life for themself? and if there is no difference, shoot - i'm going to drop everything and go live la vida loca. :P there's no justifiable way to say there's no literal hell.

well, time for theology class with dr. caner. yessssssss :D

keep it real.
~jen~

my friend gabe

due to massive amounts of requests from 1 person, i would like to dedicate this post to my friend gabe. we've gone to the same church since i moved to michigan in 5th grade. but it wasn't until my junior year of high school that gabe came up to me and asked, "are you new here?" ouch.

gabe's a good friend. he lets me think that someday i'll get to ride his dirtbike. and he has a really cool old jeep that's painted like a zebra that he promises i'll never get to drive. but i got to ride in it this past summer and that was cool.

now he's engaged and getting married in april. then he's moving into a house near my house so when i'm home from school, i can go ride my skateboard to see him and beka and their house every day.

the end.

what is the "emerging church"?

that's a good question and a hard one to answer. i've been attempting to study it for almost a year now, but it wasn't until this summer that i finally started finding hardcore information on it. sometimes the emerging church will come up in conversation or people will read my blog and ask, "wait...the emerging church? what's that?" and i fumble over words, trying to think of a way to explain it because i'm still trying to understand what the movement is, and to know it's weaknesses/strong points.

anyway, cornerstone university (err...maybe it was the seminary there...i'm not sure) held a one-day conference thing last week and brought in brian mclaren (a big name in the movement), mike wittmer (props to the man), and ed dobson (ahh-amazing). each had a time to present their thoughts...views...stuff and then there was a Q&A time at the end (i'm just going off of what the website says, i haven't listened to the mp3's yet).

ANYWAY (again), if you're interested in listening in on the "conversations", GRTS (grand rapids theological seminary - oh...so yeah, i guess it was the seminary that put it on) has posted all the audio in mp3 format at this site: http://grts.cornerstone.edu/resources/tpoints

if anyone gives it a listen, i'd love to hear what you think about it all and what your views are. post a comment on here and/or shoot me an email.

keep it real.
~jen~

my views on Velvet Elvis

ha - fooled ya :) i've decided i'm not going to give my views on Velvet Elvis on here and this is why. i thought the book was excellent. and i came across paragraphs in there that people have pulled out and pointed their fingers at, and i realized that if they had actually read the rest of the book, even just the chapter, they would realize they totally pulled the paragraph out of context. that's how rob bell speaks/writes. he'll be sarcastic. he'll think out of the box. he'll give a "what if..." but then come back to it and explain why that "what if..." could never be true. i think that's one reason he's so often misquoted and misunderstood.

so i've decided i won't go into much discussion about the book with people unless they have read it in it's entirety. if you've read it, awesome - i'd love to discuss it with you, even if you thought it was a horrible book. actually, i welcome those kinds of discussions. i know my mind is finite and i have an extreme lack of knowledge :) that's why i want people to read the book so i can get other's views on it. i'm more than open to discussing problems people have with the book that i may have overlooked or not caught on to - as long as they've read the book in it's entirety. and i don't know if i'm spelling that word right, but it looks good enough.

i will say this. the book has challenged me to look at how i live my life and who i'm living it for. it's challenged me to know my Savior more, to be like Him, to live my life as close to His as possible. now if there's something wrong about that, i would have to whole heartedly disagree with you. violently. haha okay just kidding on the violently part :)

keep it real.
~jen~

oh yes, and i would like to give a shout out to my favorite brother because it's his birthday and i love him so much! i doubt you'll ever see this, bro, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDY!

who are you? part 2

i continued reading the end of Job today. it's such a humbling read. it reminds me just how small i am and how NOT in control i am. and how often i get in the mindset of "oh i have everything under control, life's going great" or the opposite where i worry worry worry about life's trials. i fail to acknowledge that God knows infinitely more than i do, He knows what's going on, and there's not 1 single thing i can fully control. i love also how God points out animals to Job and says "look at how much time and care i put into them - and they're animals. how much more do i care for you!"

on another topic, i love this song by Shane & Shane called "I Miss You". it's a song about those times when you don't set aside time to spend with the Lord and you feel farther away from Him. the song's about yearning for the Lord, to be close to Him again. a few of the lines go like this:

"Oh - i miss You so...it feels like forever.

Oh - the taste i know...it hurts to remember.

i had a fleeting thought this morning. and i mentioned You today.

it breaks my heart, just to know You in part.

not to be with You, where You are..."

good song. :)

keep it real.

~jen~

who are you?

i read job 38 tonight. i absolutely love the end of job where the Lord responds to Job. there's just something extra like...powerful when you read something that's straight from God (like i know the whole Bible is God's Word, but you know what i mean :) ). i love how God just like...puts Job in his place. "Who are you to question me? Were you there when I created the earth and commanded the ocean and created it's limits?" and He goes on and on, totally putting Job in his place. and it opens your eyes to a glimpse of just how powerful and mighty our God is. and it's just a tiny glimpse. so often i fail to acknowledge God's hand in His creation around me.

time to hand the computer over to k-1o and t so they can practice hip hop moves :)

keep it real.
~jen~

a quick update

i am almost completely over my cold! i accidently OD'ed (minorly) thursday night on cold medicine. i took dayquil at like, 9pm while i was at jodi and benton's house, went home and took tylenol flu/cold nightime 3 hours later at midnight (mistake #1 - i think you're supposed to wait like, 6 hours after taking dayquil before you take something more). woke up around 3:45am and popped in a couple tylenol flu/cold daytime pills, woke up at 6:50 for class and could barely walk straight :) whoops. friday morning is such a fog to me. benton drove me to class, met me after class & we got coffee and she sat me outside in the sun while she ran into her work for a minute. then she dropped me back off at the hotel where i crawled back into bed and slept a couple hours. by mid-afternoon i was over the medicine hangover and had an awesome time with my girls friday night at laura's. SO great to be back at school with them!

i think i might have pinkeye now in my left eye. and i have some odd knots on the side of my head beneath my ear...which i'm hoping is just like, swollen glands saying "hey, we're knocking that cold out for ya, so take it easy". so the left side of my head kinda feels like it's falling apart. that's okay, i always liked my right side better. just kidding. :)

our house has a couple kitchen cabinets put in and the walls have been primed. kristen said last night they were starting to paint, so i'm going to stop by after my theology class tonight and see what's been done. pray that we'll be able to move in this weekend!

i've been going to a hip hop dance aerobics class monday, tuesday, and thursday nights here on campus - it's free! and the girls are having a hip hop dance instructor (she's a freshman in college, but she's amazing) choreograph a dance for them to try out for the variety show and i decided i'd atleast go to the practices and learn some things (i don't plan on doing the show, but who knows). so we have that sunday afternoons for a couple hours and wednesday nights after church.

i re-applied at j crew yesterday (finally). that felt good to finally do it, even though it's not my 1st choice for work. they called me back today and i go in thursday to take an assessment test to see if i need to go thru training again. kristen passed it, so i'm hoping i pass. :) i think i'll like my work schedule a lot more this year because every time i work i'll be done by 5 or 6 at the latest, which leaves all my nights free (for working out & footba...i mean...homework, of course). i'll probably be working 4 hours on tuesday, 8 on thursday and 8 on friday.

and after your 1st year at LU, you have to do 20 hours of christian community service each semester. i finally found one that fits with my schedule! :::drum roll please::: i'll be helping out at the LU boy's hockey team games! hahaha :) LU's building an ice rink here on campus for them, but for now they're still playing at like...11:45pm on saturday nights in roanoke, which is about a 45 minute drive. most people don't get home 'til 3 or 4 in the morning :) but hey, benton's doing it too and it works in my schedule, so i think it'll be fun.

i think that's all to update people on for now. however, if there is a specific topic of interest that i did not cover, please submit your questions in the comment area.

HA

keep it real.
~jen~

delay of posting

you guys who read this are the best :) ya'll responded to my last post even though it didn't have a lot of meat to it, but you still read it and responded - aww :) there's more coming, but i got hit hard by a stupid cold that is taking over our campus :P watch for some posts on tuesday.

keep it real.
~jen~

the heart

please open your Bibles to the book of Luke, chapter 8, verses 4-15.

hahaha okay just kidding, i just wanted to see how it felt to sound "authoritative" like speakers do :) i'm done now, i've got it out of my system.

today we'll be talking about the heart.

HA - okay, for real, i'm done. on to just being real ---

i'm sure most anyone who reads this is familiar with the passage in Luke 8 where Luke relays the parable Jesus told about the sower. a farmer scatters his seed and the seeds fall on 4 different types of soil? if you're not trekkin' with me yet, go get your Bible and skim thru the passage again.

the seeds fall on 4 different types of soil/terrain and it represents 4 different types of hearts that hear the Gospel.

Heart #1 - the hard heart.
this is the 1st type of heart, mentioned in verse 12. they hear the Word but the devil comes and takes the Word away from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. the hard heart is typically easy to identify in people. a lot of times it's because they've become calloused to the Word thru certain situations (parents professing to be Christians yet are abusive and/or hypocrites; witnessing a church splitting; hurt by relationships).

Heart #2 - the shallow heart.
comes from verse 13. those who hear the Gospel and receive it excitedly at first, but quickly fade away when a time of testing comes because their faith is not rooted in the Word. clayton king (the speaker) brought up a very real point - "rededication" of hearts has become a cure-all pill for sin. some people rededicate their lives time after time because they don't actually repent of their sins. i agree with him on that, but he also made it clear (and i want to, to) that rededication isn't necessarily bad - it can be a very real, very life-changing thing ---> as long as it is coupled with repentance of sin and turning from the sin. it seems that the shallow heart would most oftened be found in people who have an emotionally-based faith. they get all pumped up for awhile, but then the excitement fades and they drift away. the truth is - it's human nature to let the excitement fade. if you're not eagerly seeking after God, if you're not making a whole-hearted attempt to be nearer to God, when that excitement fades, it's going to be hard to keep going. our faith needs to be authentic, it needs to be real, it needs to be deep.

Heart #3 - the crowded heart.
found in verse 14 (and the vice is squeezing harder on my head right now, so if it seems like i'm wrapping this up quick and not explaining myself, i'm sorry and i'll come back and edit this if i need to:) oh the not so-joys of getting sick). this is the heart that accepts the Word and goes along great for awhile, but then finds itself crowded with things. it essence, it's being too busy for Jesus. packing our day-to-day lives so full of activities (including the danger of doing too many ministries) that we don't make time to spend with our Savior each day, getting to know Him more. if you find yourself often late, rushing around, and/or constantly trying to please people, this might be you. the clincher - Jesus doesn't want to be 1 god out of many in your heart. He wants to be the ONLY God.

Heart #4 - the open heart.
the heart we should all be aiming to have. verse 15. it's the heart that hears the Word, retains it, and produces a crop (share the Word with others). it's the heart that desires to be immediately obedient to Christ. it's the heart that posseses true brokeness & humility before the Lord.

so now it's inventory time. figure out what kinda of heart you have. personally, i feel like certain parts of my heart go into different categories, if that's possible. my goal then, is to have my whole heart in that 4th category. it's not an easy thing to do because of my human nature, but it IS possible.

a multi-posting day

i think today should be a multi-posting day :) i want to recap/summarize the messages that clayton king gave over the past few days of our "spiritual emphasis" week here at school. but i know if i do 1 super-long post, attention spans quickly fade away :) so i'm going to do a few posts i think (that's the plan - who knows what'll really get done today) and you just come read a post at a time when you get the urge.

i woke up today with my throat a little sore and my head feeling like a big ball of lead. i had some coffee and that cleared it up a little but the thickness is starting to come back again. sad. i hate getting sick, and what's even worse is when you're at the very beginning stages of getting sick and you know that when you go to bed tonight, you're going to wake up tomorrow feeling even worse. maybe i'll just stay up all night. oh yeah, now THAT would fix it :P

i attempted to make coffee a couple nights ago here in the hotel with the coffee maker they give you. it didn't work. like, it did...eventually, once i turned the stupid thing off. it was the slowest coffee maker i've ever seen, so i finally decided to just pull the plug on it and go to starbucks. i come home later that night, and see the coffee decided to brew itself while it was turned off. it's still sitting in the pot. it's being punished.

i spent the night last night with tara down on the 2nd floor in her & kristen's room 'cause kristen was gone for the night. sadly, i left my cell phone in their room and both of the girls are at class. i've always admitted that without my phone, i feel lost. and today, that's just how i feel. lost. out of touch. unable to communicate with fellow offsprings.

i love my girls i get to live with this year! i loved my girls last year, too! man, God gives me so many blessings i don't deserve, and great girls for roommates is one of them. i CAN'T WAIT to move into our house and settle in and get to all live together...all on the same floor :) and we'll get to have a huge living room and a kitchen and a yard and a deck and a front porch - all instead of inviting each other to come hang out with us in our hotel rooms :)

living in the hotel isn't SO bad. i just get discouraged 'cause i have a lot of down time right now and if i had my computer set up, i could be editing wedding videos and getting those done. so it's like...i have stuff i need to do, i just can't right now.

i'm talking to 2 guys online from back home that i used to be really good friends with and both of them strayed for the Lord for a couple years but are now turning their lives around. it's so encouraging to talk to them and hear what God's doing in the lives! they're both guys i had been praying for, and to see God answer prayer so clearly - it's awesome :D

"filled with wonder. awe-struck wonder. at the mention of Your name. Jesus, Your name is power - breath, and living water. such a marvelous mystery!

Holy, Holy, Holy! is the Lord, God Almighty. Who was and is and is to come. with all creation i'll sing. praise to the King of Kings! You are my everything - and i will adore You!"

- from a song, but i don't know the name of it. it's so beautiful though.

keep it real.

jen

strangeness in the night

another random story.

ah-hem.

last night (this morning?) at 2am i woke up to an earpiercing "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!" my first thought was "man, my alarm's going off already? that was a short night of sleep" - then i quickly remembered i don't have an alarm that goes BEEP BEEP BEEP. then i realized it was the fire alarm going off. now, if you're anything like me, when you hear a fire alarm you think "great, another drill." so i got out of bed and looked out the eye hole in the door to see if people were actually evacuating. sadly, they were. so i grabbed my phone, purse, and room key and headed outside and found kristen and tara. we had to wait outside until the firemen got there and inspected everything. and what do ya know, nothing was wrong. i know fire alarms have saved people's lives, but they sure are annoying when they go off for no reason.

about 20 minutes later, we got to go back in and get back to our horizontal state.

and so concludes my excitement for the night.

living on the edge

i took a step over the edge today. i went against all my parents (well...okay, just my mom) taught me over and over growing up. i rebelled today. i gave in to temptation.


yes. i drank straight out of the orange juice carton.


(the crowd gasps)