Letting Go

this is one of those songs where I swear they read my heart and composed the lyrics.  I love how intimately my Father knows me.  He knows that it is thru music that I most often connect.  I bought this album 2-3 weeks ago, but this song didn’t stand out to me until Jesus started taking me thru a deep journey over the last week or so.  this encompasses what He has been doing in my heart.  letting go… oh that He would take me deeper and lead me to pursue the things He has for me, not the things I seek in vain.

a beautiful collision

I have this tradition of blogging on my birthday.  so here I am.

today i turned 30.

i woke up.  i waited for my senses to awaken.  and then i realized my body was still intact.  i hadn't started decomposing suddenly over night.  i still had all my teeth.  i was able to get out of bed and didn't collapse on the floor.  I could smell the coffee brewing.  (ok that last one’s a lie)

turning 30 confirmed 1 thing: i am still fully much alive!

I was overwhelmed by God’s love poured out thru so many family and friends on me today.  my good friend and her 2 little girls surprised me at my front door this morning with homemade muffins, homemade cards, and – a taser!  yes, seriously.  you do NOT want to mess with me!!  the big buff beast just got a whole lot beastier.

the day was full of phone calls, texts, and facebook messages from family and friends.  I had even kept my birthday hidden on my facebook profile and still got tons of sweet happy birthday messages!  (by the way, my mom was the first to wish me happy birthday on facebook – she wins the award of best mom EVER!)

I got to go to lunch at my favorite local mexican restaurant and my aunt & uncle surprised me and drove all the way out (like an hour and a 1/2 drive!) just to have lunch with me!  they drove all that way – just to pour out love on me!  I now have my very first recipe book (with recipes!!) and my very first cookbook - a smoothie and juice cookbook!!!!  And I have my very first pie dish and apple crisp recipe and you can expect to call me Jen the Baker pretty soon. and my cousins bought me an extra burrito to go!  I won’t go into detail why, but that extra gift meant so much to me.  I am known.  and I am loved.

then french press coffee.  enough said.

I got to facetime with my sister (another, “I won’t go into detail why”, but !!!!!!!!!) and was overcome with joy at the sight of seeing my family & friends (who are also my family!) gathered to celebrate 2 birthdays (mine being one of them!).

this is the beautiful collision.

my pastor and his wife are vacationing down in the Keys and they have gotten to meet and spend time with my family & friends whom I dearly love.  it is this beautiful collision of 2 of my worlds.  the 2 worlds my heart is torn between on a daily basis.  here, on a facetime call, I got to see this beautiful collision and my heart was overwhelmed with love for each and every one of them.  and oh – how they poured out love on me!!  it was so surreal and I LOVED seeing how God had intertwined these lives in such a short amount of time!

and Ben is in heaven.  he wanted me to know there’s another cowboy in the Keys – a REAL one!

I am so thankful for the family and friends God has blessed me with.  I love seeing worlds collide and hearing how God is using 2 totally different worlds to encourage each other, to lift each other up, and to share each other’s burdens.  I was overwhelmed later tonight, again, to hear they had all sat around the table lifting me up in prayer and thanking God for me.  seriously??  I do not deserve these people!!

and then I got to have dinner tonight at my cousin’s house and have my favorite cake ever (chocolate zucchini cake!) and drink coffee and watch Psych the Musical (EPIC).  a great, low-key end to a great day.

may this next year of life be one of becoming.  one of choice (my word for 2014).  one of receiving love and one of giving love.  and one of embracing the every day moments that my Abba gives me.

thank you, everyone, for loving me.  :)  and allowing the love of Jesus to flow out of you onto me today.