I’m writing this because I feel like I should. I haven’t posted in a week (mainly because I was up in Orlando). I don’t want to go too long without posting or else I might stop updating this thing. which wouldn’t be the end of the world. but I enjoy looking back, every once in awhile, thru my posts over the years. it brings back memories and reminds me of phases or stages in life. and sometimes I read a post and think, “what in the world? I don’t remember that…” – haha :)
uncertainty of my plans hangs in the air. actually, they all sit nice and comfortably in Abba’s hands. but to my human nature, they seem to be hanging in uncertainty. trying to figure out if God’s shutting doors and opening new ones or if He’s calling me to persevere past the appearance of closed doors. the last thing I want to do is “run” when things get a little tough – I want to pursue a direction because I feel God’s leading me to it, not because it’s the easier route.
sometimes I wonder if there is an “easier” route each year I get further away from the days when all I had to do was go to school, work a little, but mainly just hang out with my friends. do easy routes even exist as you get older?
I do know, however, that adventurous, exciting routes exist!! that’s what I’m goin’ for. the ones where I couldn’t begin to imagine doing things on my own – but where I need God to come through. where I need to rely on Him, in faith.
but I’m keeping the rest of my thoughts about my plans under wraps right now (as in, I’m not blogging about it yet until I’ve made a decision – but you can pray for wisdom and discernment for me!).
tonight I went to see the little Segard offsprings – I was going thru withdrawal. I hadn’t seen them since saturday when we got back from O-town. I love those little boogers. I missed the rest of my fam too (really, Mom – I missed you! awww!) oh and Kristi got here today!!!!
we are studying Romans in small group. this week we did Romans 6. it talks a lot about not being a slave to sin, but being free in Christ and a slave to righteousness. it was an uber good reminder that I don’t have to be a slave to sin, like the ones that aren’t so much obvious from the outside.
this weekend, Amanda and I are headed up to Boca to get her sister, Meredith!! so stoked to have these amazing sisters BOTH living back down here! we’ve already all agreed that before we come home Sunday, a stop at the beach is necessary. the real beach, you know – the one with waves. ;) even if it’s a short stop. and I’m praying for waves so we can play in them and sit in awe of surfers and kiteboarders. seeing them play in our awesome Creator’s ocean makes me giddy. :)
and that about wraps it up for this “because I should” post.
this has been my 4th week back in the Keys. first week having a set schedule for work. I’m working part-time right now for my dad, 8-noon every day (mon-fri). got my first paycheck today in like 5 months! I decided to go retro and revert back to my days working at j crew in college – where every friday (payday), as soon as I got out of work, I would jump in my car and play NSYNC’s song “Just Got Paid” really loud and dance. so that’s what I did today. after I got a chai at Leigh Ann’s (hey, it’s been like 2 weeks since I got one). a cold front blew in last night so today was a perfect “cool” day (high 60’s) to get a hot drink!
my friend brandon and I went up to play volleyball last friday night and had some great talks on the drive. the dude’s cool – if you don’t know him, you should.
among other things, we talked about what my plans are for the near future – a topic that brings much confusion and frustration to me because I can’t figure out what direction to head. but he had an uber cool outlook on what it looks like to be “in God’s will”. he doesn’t worry about being in God’s will because in the morning when he wakes up, he tells God to take all of him. then he goes about his day trusting that God is directing his steps.
so that’s what I’ve been doing this week. and it’s been amazing.
I wasn’t going to share what I did this week because I absolutely do not want it coming across as boasting about what great things “I” did. but I realized that – who knows – maybe by me sharing what God’s been leading me to do will inspire others. so I share the following to point out His glory and His awesomeness and not my own, ok? it’s nothing I would have done on my own, that’s for sure.
so sunday night I was about to feel overwhelmed with the “ok I have every afternoon free this week…what in the world am I going to do to fill my afternoons??”. I’ve truly enjoyed having a couple weeks off of nothingness planned. it was great, after having the last 5 months planned out for me and having always had a job since moving down here to the Keys. so it was really fun. but it eventually got to be overkill and I was ready to be active and involved again.
I realized last week that I think I’m actually a people person. I don’t think of myself as one. but I realized that when I’m around people, I’m energized. I love being with people. too much alone time and I go nuts. give me people!!
sorry, getting off topic.
so – sunday night – yes. I decided to ask God what I should do this week (great idea, right?). and I felt like I should do a prayer walk thru the city, down US 1, from Coco Plum down to the 7 Mile bridge. not all in one day. :) so two days this week I walked and prayed during the afternoon for 1-2 hours each time, praying over the city – for people in general, for specific people, asking God to have His heart for this city and asking for vision and direction as to what He wants to accomplish here.
it’s been awesome. the first day I walked Coco Plum to Walgreens and back (about 3 miles). the second day I walked from Walgreens to Publix and back (about 5.25 miles). I still have the other half of town to do. but it’s really cool how praying for your city/community brings up a new love and perspective for the people. I can’t really explain it.
the other end of town starts to get rougher…I’m kinda hoping someone wants to go with me. preferably someone big but I’ll take anyone. :) so if anyone’s reading this and lives in the area… hint hint.
the other cool thing that’s been goin’ on this week is Ms. Kelly and I have been hanging out with the homeless that hang out around the bus stop. they’re fun, they love to entertain us with their jokes. :) a lot of the jokes are dirty. so every time they say “ok I have a joke!” I tell them it has to be clean. sometimes they clean the joke up. and then sometimes they go “well…it’s cleaner than that other one I told…” :) one of the guys (whose pupils were like pin dots because he was so loaded up on drugs) gave me the rest of his can of beer. I set it beside me and hoped he wouldn’t notice. he didn’t. :)
what was interesting was 3 of the 4 conversations we had with people quickly turned to talking about God. they always brought it up, not us. so either that was a God thing or they are used to “Christians” ministering to them that they know how to play the game. who knows. either way, it was an open door to talk about Him.
we got to take one of the women we met out to lunch at McDonald’s – happy meals for all of us! she is so cute – she’s so little! today was her birthday so we went early this morning to the tree they hang out by and decorated it and put a happy birthday sign up. then this afternoon we stopped by and she was there and we gave her cookies.
I honestly don’t know what the “end goal” (that sounds so manipulating…ugh) is. yeah it’d be awesome if they all became followers of Jesus and cleaned their lives up and helped others do the same. it’d be awesome if they could get off the drugs and alcohol and “do something” with their lives. but what does that look like for them? my idea of a “good life” and their idea of a “good life” and God’s idea of a “good life” may all look totally different. I want to know what God’s vision for them is. in the meantime, I suppose it’s just about building relationship and friendship and seeing them as Jesus sees them and not as “those people” (as we often separate the working class from the homeless).
it’s been a good week because I’ve tried to give each day to God and allow Him to guide my steps. and I’ve walked, trusting that He’s guiding my steps because I’ve asked Him to. He is faithful.
