"breathe"

another beautiful time at church this morning. i was so unsatisfied with "church" last semester. i didn't like what i experienced going on at churches i'd go to and i began to wonder if i'd ever find a church i could go to and not feel guilty going to. i did start going regularly (that's a relative term) for about a month to one church that was not as conservative as the church i went to back home but still not completely modernized. and i enjoyed it to an extent and there were some great messages but i still didn't feel all-around satisfied with going there. this semester i've started going to a new church and i absolutely love it. i've come to the realization (a very FREEING realization) that we all are drawn to different styles of churches. doctrinally speaking, there's not a lot of room to budge. but with the issue of the style of church, i've realized that it's okay to pick a church based on my preference of style (as long as, of course, it's doctrinally sound). and by realizing this, it's also allowed me to accept the way some churches "do church". it's not my way of doing things, but it's other people's ways and props to them for going to a church that they can serve in and be challenged & grow in. needless to say, my bitterness i had developed towards some places has greatly gone down and i thank the Lord for that because it was eating away at me daily.

so anyway, the 1st few weeks or so of this semester, the pastor was doing a series called "Home" and basically it was a series of messages teaching what the mission of this church was, why they were heading toward this specific vision, and how they were going to introduce new programs to the church. and what was so cool was that my whole idea of what the local church should be matches up nearly exactly with what this church's idea is. i'm just sad that after i'm done at liberty, i don't plan on living in this area and so i know my time at this church probably won't be too long-term. but - you never know, right? :) hmm...OR! or maybe the term "church plant" will take on a whole new meaning - it will mean taking a local church and moving the entire church body to a new location so they can continue with their mission together in a new place (obviously, that place would be wherever i end up moving to after liberty - hehehe :) it's not selfishness...well...okay maybe it is).

wow, am i rambling? yeah, pretty sure.

the message this morning was part 2 of a series called "Breathe". everyone fears something (or some-things) in life. we fear things (sharks!), people (public speaking - hello), death, the unknown (natural disasters, the supernatural, etc). we allow these things to paralyze us. i know i allow them to. the funny thing was, the pastor used the example of his fear of sharks, which i can strongly relate to (AND, oddly enough, it all goes back to him going behind his parent's backs and sneaking peeks of the movie "JAWS" when it was on TV when he was 7 or 8...hmm...sounds a lot like someone else i know...sorry mom & dad :) ). we fear people, not only speaking in front of groups, but we also fear what people think about us. we wonder if they're staring at the big zit we have on our chin or if they're secretly laughing hysterically at our bed-head hair. i can't tell you how many opportunities i've passed up in life because i gave in to my fears.

most of us know the passage in Matthew 6, the passage on "Do Not Worry". yeah, my Bible pretty much flips open to that page when you drop it on the ground. but do we actually live our lives like we believe it? i often think, "oh, that passage just means when you're tight on money and can't make ends meet". but it's so much more than that. it applies to every aspect of our lives. to overcome fear, we've got to accept God's care for our life. His indescribable love for us and His overwhelming desire to care for us when we humble ourselves before Him and realize our desperate need for Him DAILY. 1 Peter 5:6-7 tells us to humble ourselves before the Lord and He will lift us up in due time. "in due time" - this means we might be uncomfortable for a time, but God promises to life us up in His good and perfect timing. the verse goes on to tell us to cast all our cares upon Him because He cares for us.

where fear exists, love can't. and where love can't, we can't be really living the life God calls us to. when fear overcomes us and we don't trust in God's care, we pass opportunities from God up and aren't fully carrying out God's work He's given us. this is not to say God can never use us again once we drop the ball. but until we overcome our fears by trusting in God's care for our lives, we're going to continue missing amazing opportunities He gives us.

i like how the pastor put it - "when you partner with God, why would He not care for you?" Matthew 6 goes on to say, "But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." If you're fully surrendering your life (including your fears) to God, He WILL care for us completely and help us to carry out the plan, the purpose He has for each of our lives.

so, i don't know about you. but i've got a lot of livin' to do now. :) 1st thing's 1st - i'm goin' surfin'!!!! :D

(and please don't write me off as being shallow and assuming the only application i took away from this message was that i can now overcome my fear of sharks and live out my dream of going surfing :) this message of overcoming fear is life-changing if i (you) put it into action. let's get out there and start taking the opportunities God gives us to be used by Him in every area of life!)

wow, is it almost midnight? my 7:50am class suddenly seems a lot closer now...stink.

keep it real.
~jen~

a humerous Bible moment

so i'm reading Exodus 8 today in the mall parking lot (that's another story, but yes, the mall parking lot) and i came across something that made me laugh and re-read it to see if i was really comprehending it correctly. in chapter 8, God sends the plague of frogs on Pharaoh and the Egyptians. Pharaoh calls Moses & Aaron in and asks them to pray to God to remove the frogs. Moses is, like (okay, this is Jen-phrased, but it's accurate, go check for yourself :) ), "Alright, sure, when do you want me to pray that?" and Pharaoh says, "Dude, like...tomorrow." TOMORROW!? what? did he seriously want to have one last night of sharing his house with tons of frogs hopping and pooping (yeah, frogs do that too) everywhere? i don't understand the man. but it's Pharaoh we're talking about, i mean...c'mon, it took losing his firstborn son in order to let him let the Israelites out of slavery and even THEN he chased after them. it just stumps me as to why Pharaoh asked Moses & Aaron to pray "tomorrow" instead of "RIGHT NOW!" crazy man.

i drew a picture of a butterfly today. okay, no i didn't. but i did finish my perspective drawing of the corner of my room and my dresser. it's due in my art class tomorrow. and i must say, it turned out much better than i planned. you can actually tell what it is. who says miracles don't happen? :) i'm horrible at drawing, but i have to take this class in order to take any graphic design classes. go figure.

i've discovered this amazing new technique in life recently. it's called "getting things done instead of sitting down and thinking about what i have to do". it's amazing! i've discovered that writing a quick note and sticking it in the mail to send to a friend (yes, SNAIL MAIL! :::gasp:::) is incredibly easier than i thought. mailing checks in to pay for bills is also extremely easy if you just take a couple minutes to write the check and put it in the envelope. even going to the gym fits in this category. my 7:50am class was canceled this morning and since i wasn't able to sleep in (a house of 4 girls means non-quiet early mornings) i laid in bed thinking about how i should go to the gym. BUT instead of deciding on a satisfying excuse to not go, i decided to just get out of bed and go to the gym, even if i only ran on the treadmill for 5 minutes (thankfully, i did exceed that goal on the treadmill, but not by much). and guess what. i felt great the rest of the day because i made the decision to just do it, even though i didn't really want to at the time. oh! and i've also discovered how easy it is to just snap a quick picture of yourself and send it to people for a random bit o' fun!

just call me miss productive from now on. or rita watson. whichever you prefer.

keep it real.
~jen~

66 n 06

as most of you who read this already know, i just got back to my house at school tonight after a busy weekend trip home! i got to fly home for bree's wedding, which was SO much fun! i think it was the fastest trip i've ever taken home. flew home friday afternoon, flew back sunday afternoon. but it was worth it. i even got home in time to catch the end of 2nd quarter and the rest of the super bowl game :D

so, 66 n 06. what is it? it's a commitment that the campus pastors at LU have been encouraging students to make this year. it's reading through the Bible in one year (hence, 66 books of the Bible in '06...and yet still i know there's SOMEONE out there who's still not catching on...haha okay just kidding :)). anyway, i'm reading through the Bible this year, something i've never actually accomplished since my parents did it with me and my sister when we were in elementary school (wow, that's embarassing).

anyway, so i started it a week or 2 ago. and this past week we had a speaker come to LU and he was talking about how we lack so much in our view of how big God really is. How powerful and in control He really is. he pointed out a few people in the Bible who had atleast a little bigger view of God. like Moses, seeing God part the Red Sea. David, seeing God empower him to overcome Goliath. these guys trusted in the Lord as they carried out what God had called them to do. the tasks seemed impossible. but they got to see a glimpse of God's power. their view of God was increased. so this speaker dude encouraged us, as we read anything in Scripture, to allow the Holy Spirit to increase our views of God. that we may see and learn more and more about God from every single passage we read. because the Bible is...well, it's essentially all about God. so just in the past week, as i've continued reading thru Genesis, i've been trying to read it with the mindset of, "okay, how is God moving in this passage? where is the hand of God?" and it is so amazing!! it's not always easy, mainly because i'm not used to reading passages with that mindset. sometimes i find myself just looking for the places where it says "And the Lord said..." or whatever. and while, yes, that counts...it's kinda cheating :)

God stokes me so much. i'm so excited to see what God will do in 2006 in the lives of people i know, especially in my family, friends, and well...my own life as well.

keep it real.
~jen~