the real purpose of the moon

i've started reading a book that's sat on my shelf a good year or so now. it's a John Piper book called "Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ". so while the following thoughts are spurred on by things i've read in the book, the elaboration are my own thoughts and ideas (wow that sounded professional...yes, that's right, i'm in college).

i was driving the other night and it was well past darkness-time and a huge glowing mass caught my attention. any other day, i would probably have just glanced at it and thought "hey, cool", but this night was different. it was a full moon, huge, bright. as i stared at it while i was at a red light, i thought more and more about the existence of that moon.

i've always excepted creation as-is. the moon's the moon. the sun's the sun. the moon comes out at night, the sun's out in the day and the sun's hot and i love the sun. simple. the grand canyon's huge. God created it. simple. not much thought about it, i just accept such creations as, well...normal.

but this night, at the stop light, i realized...God didn't HAVE to create the moon. He didn't HAVE to create the sun. He's God, He created the world, He didn't have to create us so that we needed the sun or benefited from the moon (...do we benefit from the moon?...i'm not into science). the grand canyon doesn't actually do anything for us, it doesn't sustain our life at all in any way.

He created these things for His glory! so that when we see them, we stand in awe, we be still and think, "wow...God, You made this. this...this is beautiful. this is amazing. and You created it for Your glory."

and to take it one step further. to realize that the Creator who created such beautiful, amazing, profound creations...has to be so much MORE beautiful, amazing, and profound. ahhhh :)

i look at creation so much more differently right now.

keep it real.
~jen~

maybe i'll go to med school.

i'm thinking maybe i'll just switch direction and become a surgeon.

i love what i do. i love media. i love the thought of reaching people with the Gospel through film/video.

but from the time i was 2, when i had eye surgery, until just before i graduated from high school, i wanted to be a surgeon. i love the intrigue of the human body. i was great at gameboy (random, i know, but people have said if you're good at video games, you'll be good in surgery with the equipment - haha). i like to be able to fix things.

so i was thinking tonight about how i used to want to be a surgeon. and i realized...hey, i can surf and make videos all i want in Heaven (that, or i'll be so incredibly wrapped up in just worshiping my Creator that i won't even care about surfing or making movies). but i can't be a surgeon in Heaven. there'll be no need for surgeons. at least, i don't think there will be...i could be wrong though. i guess if there is a need for surgeons in Heaven, that'd be great because then i wouldn't lose any of my patients.

so back to this surgeon idea.

ah - but then i have to go through lots of med school. there's no way i'd ask my parents to help support me financially through that. so maybe this is what i'll do for now: i'll finish my degree at LU. i'll work in the field for awhile, saving up money. then if i have money for med school and still want to be a surgeon, i'll consider it further then.

i'd want to be a surgeon in Hawaii or Southern Cal. yeah. and take medical mission trips. to Tahiti. and other places. and i could bring my camera along and document it. and surf for a stress-reliever.

i might be on to something here.

or i might just be dreaming.

i should go to bed.

keep it real.
~jen~

the peace that can only come from God

Philippians 4:7

$1.95

i filled up for gas this morning for a whoppin' $1.95/gallon!! talk about exciting. i finally could fill up a full tank of gas for under $20. what a beautiful da-a-a-aaaaay!! (can anyone name the song that that's from?)

the church service we usually go to starts at 11. it's late. i usually automatically wake up after getting 7 1/2-8 hours of sleep, so this morning i woke up at 7:35am, though i didn't get out of bed for about another hour. i get myself in trouble on Sunday mornings because i wake up so early before church that i putz around and work on things, thinking, "oh, i have so much time, i can do this too" - and then before i know it, i'm rushing around trying to be ready on time for church. go figure.

and so i sit here, 9:55am, writing on my blog.

i paid my credit card off this weekend!! that's a huge relief. i celebrated by leaving work a couple hours early yesterday (it was slow, they were offering time off) and renting X-Men 3 :) a-mazing movie.

i love the x-men triology, i don't know why, but i do.

speaking of work, (well...i was a few thoughts ago), i enjoy my job. yes, i'd rather be out in 80+ degree weather and filming a surf documentary or something, but for the part of life that i'm at right now, this job works just fine. and i love giving the gift of free shipping & handling. :) sometimes i throw that in for various reasons when people call in. and when they're not demanding that they get free shipping, they're always so excited to save the extra cash. i feel like santa almost.

speaking of work and santa (wow, i'm really building on my thoughts, this is technical) - last week, on saturday, i was at work and got a call from a retail store (we have red phones in our retail store that customers can pick up and order from if we don't have their item in the store). so, i answer the call and on the other end is this little boy that couldn't have been more than 3 or 4 years old. and our conversation goes as follows:

boy: "hello?"
me, realizing it's a little guy who probably won't be ordering today: "hi! how are you?"
boy: "are you santa clause??"
me: "...yes. ...yes i am!"
boy: (turning away from the phone) "Daddy! it's santa clause!!"
--the boy's dad either didn't realize his son was actually talking to someone or he was distracted, because he just kinda went "oh, really? okay"
boy: (back on the phone) "Do you have trains??"
me: "...um...yes! we DO have trains!"
boy: (turning away from the phone) "DADDY! they have TRAINS!!"
boy: (back on the phone) "What kind of trains??"
me: "oh...um...big ones. yeah, lots of them. they're red." (they're red?? haha i didn't know what else to say)
boy: (turning away from the phone) "DADDY! they have big red ones!!)
--phone hangs up

absolutely hilarious. i got off the phone and laughed so hard. kristen tried to make me feel guilty by reminding me, "Jenny! you just lied to that poor kid and told him you're santa clause!"

nah - just gave the little guy a bit of excitement for the day :)

oh...i should probably go get ready for church.

keep it real.
~jen~

mmmmmmm...to have wisdom

i heard it said this way wednesday night: "every piece of wisdom began as doubt"

appealing to emotion is big these days in churches. some are all for it. some are totally against it. i'm in the middle. but when your faith is feasting merely on emotional experiences, your faith will be like a rollercoaster. i've done it before. i've had a beautiful "experience" at church, left, and hardly touched my Bible for the next week until i went to church again. those who feed off of emotion often tend to suppress their questions, their doubt. i know i've been doing that for awhile now. i tend to think, "yeah, i don't know why this or that has happened, or why God allows this or that, but hey - He's God, i will never understand His ways, so i'll just accept that and not worry about the answers".

mmmmmmm.....but how much deeper my relationship with my Lord would be if i questioned Him, if i wrestled with Him and didn't let go until i had His answer. if i didn't write off my doubts and just accept things "as-is".

oh, to have wisdom. True wisdom. Godly wisdom. and to know my Savior the way He desires me to know Him.

wisdom is gained when you ask the questions that nag you. the questions that leave you saying, "i don't know why, and it bugs me".

so, question. question - not to run away from God, but to run toward God.

keep it real.
~jen~

why not me?

going to the Dominican Republic this past summer, though just for a week, has completely rocked my world. it was my 1st time in a 3rd world country. i saw desperation for food/water/clothing at a whole new level. adults taking children's cups of curdled milk, the only cup of milk the child might have for the next week or two. children begging for just 1 pair of shoes so that they could go to school. what? children BEGGING to go to school?

how easy it would be to harden my heart to what i saw. to leave in the Dominican what i saw in the Dominican and go about living my relatively easy life in America. how easy it would be for me to keep the memories tucked inside my head somewhere and forgetting to tell their stories. eventually the memories would fade and the burden i feel for them would subside.

but i don't want to waste the trip that God soverignly planned for me to go on. i can't. what a waste it would be to experience so many different things and not do anything with what i learned.

not only would it be a waste, it would not be fair to my friends i made in the DR. the Haitian refugees that risked their lives to bring their families across the Haiti/DR border in hopes of a better life for their children.

no, not every post from now on will be about the DR. but i hope that there will be many.

this is Callilina. precious. Callilina latched on to me from the first second we jumped off our safari truck in her village. she was no more than 5 years old and had an adorable, gruff/husky voice. she insisted on holding my paint bucket as i painted the door and windows the 1st day we came into the village. her and her sister, Natalia, played around me the entire time i painted. i was their "gringa amiga" and we tried to have as much as a conversation as possible with the little spanish that i know. :) we ended up laughing a lot and in the end, we sang about "cuckarachas" (cockroaches).

with the loving and joyful spirits that Callilina and Natalia show, you would never guess that these girls sometimes go a couple days without food. me and about 4 others in our group got to visit these sister's house in the village and bring juice and crackers to their family. their mom only spoke spanish, but she kept telling us that sometimes they go days without food. they were all skinny. all had torn raggedy clothes. there were actually 5 kids in the family, no dad. their dad had abandoned them.

hardly a meal goes by where these girl's faces don't flash through my mind. why am i able to fill my plate with food and at the end of the meal, sit there with food still on my plate and a full belly? why do i have the choice of what i want to eat at each meal? i sit here now, my belly warm and happy from the chai tea i just finished. Callilina is quite possibly laying in her bed (actually, i don't think she even had a bed) tonight, her stomach empty. and here i sit, my stomach full. it sickens me.

it's not fair. why is it not me in their shoes? why does it have to be like this? why do i get to have so much in America and they have so little? why is it that i can be working 2 jobs and yet their parents struggle to find even a small job that will bring them a dollar a day for their family?

these children have ruined me. ruined me in the best way possible. i drive myself crazy with the things i've spent my money on. it's ridiculous to look at the DVDs that i have, and to think that all of that money could be going to feed this kids, to clothe them, to send them to school.

it's getting late, i have a 7:50 tomorrow, and i feel like i'm rambling.

keep it real.
~jen~

where i want to be

oh how strongly i don't want to be at school right now. my heart is in the Keys. i love my apartment up here, i love my roommates, i love my friends i have here(the ones that haven't graduated and left, that is). but i just do not want to be here. i have no desire to go to any of my classes except my theology (sects & cults) class that Caner's teaching.

i get a phone call tonight and hear mass chaos in the background. then i start being able to make out people's words and realize it's a group of my friends from the Keys, calling me on speaker phone :) oh it was torture! they had played ultimate frisbee (the Sunday night ritual) and were at taco bell and the phone got passed around from person to person (including lucy!) - oooooh how every ounce of my body yearns to be down there!

it doesn't help that i now realize how much of a joke my major is at this university. you know it's bad when 2 of the head professors in the degree tell you to look at different schools to finish your degree. yes, ladies and gentlemen, i had 2 of the professors tell our video production class last year that the broadcasting major at our school is a joke, we don't have the right equipment to learn what we need to, and we should consider other universities. one even proceeded to ramble off a list of schools he'd recommend. yeah...that really motivates you to finish up and get your degree, knowing that you won't be taught what you need to know to have the experience and knowledge to get a credible job. goodness.

on a much lighter note, i have had a very enjoyable weekend. that's probably because i was gone all saturday and sunday afternoon. saturday a group of us went to VA beach for the ECSC (East Coast Surf Competition) which i've gone to every year i've been at Liberty. it's worth the 4 hour drive over there and the 4 hour drive back :D i got to watch amature surfers showing off their skills and, my favorite, the super groms showing off their mad skills - SO adorable. AND i got to run into the salty ocean water and be reunited with its beauty and experience its unfailing ability to wash away every care in the world, though temporary. i absolutely love that God has created the ocean for us to enjoy. absolutely love it.

today casey's "boyfriend" (she doesn't like calling him that, but for lack of a better word...:) ) todd took us out on his boat on Smith Mountain lake and we got to go water skiing. i chose not to, after being reminded of my failed attempts at wakeboarding a year ago. and the wipeouts look painful. maybe next time. :) but it was SO great to just be out on the boat, jumping into the middle of the lake and experiencing FRESH water. it's crazy to jump in and surface for air without having that super salty taste in your mouth. and i got to drive the boat while todd water skiied - that rocked. it was my 1st time driving a boat with someone skiing off the back.

and here i sit, once again back in l-burg at my apartment. sipping my decaf coffee. wondering if this update will mean that Becky will update her blog now :)

keep it real.
~jen~

one more thing

i thought i'd post the website of the ministry we're going down to the DR to help.

http://www.dominicancrossroads.com/

His fingerprints

Can you see God's fingerprints on specific events in your life that led to specific events that led to specific events? if you be still and reflect on what's happened in your life over the past year or so, i bet you'd be able to see some of His fingerprints. tonight i was hit by an awareness to God's fingerprints in my life over the past year in a specific area.

i'll try to keep this relatively short and non-ramblish. :)

last fall, God really laid something on my heart during a "missions emphasis" week at school that i never forgot. He opened my eyes to how much of the world does not even know about this amazing, loving Creator who desires to deeply for them to know Him. i'm not good at speaking in front of people. i'm not all that great with little kids. i wanted to be used by God to reach people, but didn't know how. but He gave me a vision that week of how i could mix my love for multimedia with missions. i suddenly had this realization that i could go along with mission teams and document the trips on video, putting together multimedia to bring back to the States to raise awareness of what is going on in the world, in hope of spurring others into action. i had never really wanted to do much with overseas missions, but suddenly i had this desire to go. i just didn't know when or where, but i started praying about it and i was open to it.

then right after thanksgiving, i get a phone call from andy, asking if i'd like to intern with the youth ministry down here in the Keys. i would be doing video work for the ministry, which was something i enjoy doing. so i jumped at the opportunity, but was a little discouraged that i wasn't going to be going on any mission trips anytime soon now.

so i get down here, and within the first week or 2, a friend down here showed me her friend's blog on myspace. this girl lives in the dominican republic, and ministry is her life down there. her blog broke my heart. the poverty, the sickness, the need for Jesus down in the DR. i wanted desperately to go down there, to help in some way, and to also document what's going on down there to bring awareness to the States. but i had no clue how i would be able to get down there and so i didn't think i'd be going down there anytime soon.

however, shortly after that day, i was asked if i would like to go with a group down to this exact place in the DR for a week this summer...wow. how could i say no? i was already seeing God's hand in all of this.

so i sign up, i pay my deposit. i have money in my bank account to cover a good portion of the trip, if i wasn't able to raise the money. then an unexpected financial situation came up and i found myself down to about...$20 to my name (yes, that would be including both of my savings and checking accounts). i still had tons of money to raise to go to the DR and i had no income. talk about discouraging. i didn't know what God was trying to tell me, but i wasn't ready to give up on this trip to the DR just yet.

i showed up at every carwash, yardsale, bake sale, and spaghetti dinner fundraiser that i could. i was able to go home to MI for a week and work all week for my dad's company. i get a phone call this week from lisa (she's heading up the trip) and find out i only have $110 left to pay for the trip, and i hang up, so excited because i had that much (not a whole lot more) in my bank account from working for my dad. so i run and tell my sister the great news, and she tells me even BETTER news! someone had donated money toward me, sadie, and andy's trips and it was enough to cover my $110 i had left!! praise the Lord!!!!

so i am leaving next thursday, july 27th, for the DR and i am so incredibly stoked! tonight, after looking back and seeing all of God's fingerprints on this trip, i can't help but be stoked because i know this is what God has planned out for me.

on another note of excitement: this ministry that we're going down to work with, part of their ministry is building concrete homes for Haitian refugees to get them out of the dumps and shacks (if they're even considered shacks). it only costs $3,000 to build one of these homes for a family. today a man donated $3,000 for us to take down to have a home built!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how awesome is that?!?!

i, for one, am truly stoked by God this week.

keep it real.
~jen~

spastic cat

there is a spastic kitty jumping from mattress to bookshelf to mattress to floor to 2nd mattress to other mattress to the back of my plastic chair, only to find she can't get a hold on it and she slides down the arm of the chair, back to the ground to start this routine over again...

she's psycho.

i had 2 funny reminders today that i am officially living in the Keys. 1, i saw a super sweet, super expensive cadillac today at the gas station. as i was admiring the fine specimen, i see a skinny, middle-age dude with long, greying scraggly hair walking toward the pumps. i think "wow, at first i thought HE might be the owner of that car, but now that i see him - ha - no way!" but sure enough...he jumps on in. it proves the point that the majority of the population down here consists of middle to late-aged people who have a lot of money, who move down here and become too lazy to take care of themselves but they sure know how to waste their money.

and 2, and the more humorous of the 2. you know you're in a tropical environment when you swerve to miss iguanas instead of swerving to miss "normal" typical roadkill (i.e. raccoons, squirrels, rabbits, etc.). i have only seen 1 roadkill raccoon down here (which, to this day still stumps me - i have no clue how wild animals get down this far into the Keys when only bridges connect the islands). but today i watched an iguana taking his time, walking down the side of the road as i drove past. and the other day, me and my friend Lisa were driving down a neighborhood street and see an iguana blocking our lane. i come to a COMPLETE stop, and the iguana just sits there in front of my car. so i inch forward more and more, and i get so close to it that i can't even see it. it takes a couple tiny steps. finally, lisa jumps out of the car and starts walking up to it and it takes off into the trees. suicidal little thing, more scared of a human than of a car.

alright, time to catch the kitty and send her out of my room so i can sleep in peace without a little furball jumping up in the middle of the night to attack my head.

keep it real.
~jen~

a cool colored wall

well, since you guys have given such a great response to my new ability & skills of posting pictures, i felt bad going to bed without giving you all something to entertain you. this is a picture i took of me a week or 2 ago in the half of the bathroom that is done (the sink) and the cool color we did on the walls. now, everybody go, "ooooh!"

keep it real.
~jen~

a new specimen

so i come home sunday night and find a group of guys standing in the dining room looking at me with a suspicious look on their faces. i walked past them, turned around to question them, and then realized they had now turned their focus to something underneath the table. despite hearing them tell me, "you don't see anything!", i saw it. i believe most americans call this thing a "cat". it turns out that one of the guys (joel) living here was given this kitten, so now we have a feline living amongst us. i despise cats. i think they're stuck up, they shed, they pee on things, they scratch, and they bite and infect people (right, Becky?).

and wouldn't you know it, this little thing decided she likes MY room the most. and since joel is gone most of the day, i feel bad locking it in his room. so i have given in and allowed Zion (that's the kitten's name) to enter my room. stinkin' little thing is pretty cute, i'll give her that. i think she's like, 8 weeks old or something, i really don't know. but she's tiny. i guess this just prepares me for my apartment next year, where it looks like both of my roommates will be bringing cats - sick.

yea for mondays

i love mondays down here. mondays are our "day off" where we get to go play if we want and don't have to work on STS (the ministry here) stuff. today we went out fishing on andy's dad's boat. it was my 1st time fishing in salt water!! we didn't catch any keeper-size fish, but i was just excited to catch as many fish as we did. and we saw a sea turtle!!!! like, 4 times! he decided he wanted to chill by our boat all day i guess. and one of the 1st fish i caught died somehow (he swallowed the hook, so i think that aided his earthly departure) so we threw it back in the water and a bird came and swooped it up. and THEN (yes, i enjoyed my day, can you tell?) we saw a huge baracuda right next to our boat and it swam away. then sadie caught a fish and was reeling it in and it was right next to the boat and the cuda came and grabbed the fish off the line (hook and all - talk about stomach ache). then maya was reeling in a fish and a cuda came and sliced off her line and got her fish & hook. crazy.
here's a picture of 1 of my fish. it's a yellowtail...something. and we kept catching these fish called "grunts" and they're so cool 'cause they actually make a grunting noise when they're out of the water. man...God's creations are just so cool :)

a must-listen-to

Audrey Assad rocks my face off and i want you guys to hear some of her music! check out her myspace - http://www.myspace.com/audreyassadsings and enjoy! she was down here last week and helped lead worship at our youth group last Thursday. she has got such a beautiful, God-given gift for music (not only her voice, but she is absolutely amazing on the piano). go listen!

keep it real.
~jen~

PS - Nancy, i'm trying to set up a website for the youth ministry down here and have like, 2.46 questions. can you call me when you get a chance? :D

ode to the bathroom

i like to call it our "3rd world bathroom". you kinda feel like you're in some poverty-stricken place and you're tempted to really go for the full effect and sustain from using toilet paper...but then reality hits and you decide that as long as there's toilet paper there, you might as well use it. it's the last room to be reconstructed since the hurricane last October. i'm convinced i'm going to open the door one day and find a huge cock-a-roach waiting for me. that's why i always enter with flip flops.



once you survive the entry, all that's left to do is sit and enjoy the view.


keep it real.
~jen~

pictures now included!

 

people of the world! every boy and every girl! people of the world! ahhhhhhhhh --
(that was a spice girls song...anyone catch that?)

i finally downloaded picasa on this computer so i can blog with pictures :) this pic is from our carwash this past saturday. we did a carwash to try to raise money for our trip to the Dominican Republic. yes, that's a fire truck behind us - i would have to say that they were our "biggest" customer - ah-hahaha i'm so funny. we raised over $500 at the carwash, but when you divide that among all the people that worked at it...we didn't really make a ton :) but we sure had fun! (wow, that rhymed. i'm a poet and didn't even know it. does anybody want a peanut??)

more to come.

keep it real.
~jen~ 

i set my alarm clock tonight

6:50am. that's what i set it for. do you realize how long it's been (or how long it FEELS it's been) since i've had to set an alarm? i'm getting used to this life in tropical paradise-on-earth. stay up late and sleep in 'til around 8:30 or whenever my biological clock decides it's time to get up.

so, yes. i finally plugged in my alarm clock tonight and set it for 6:50am. we're headed to O-Town (Orlando) for the weekend for a girl's graduation. i'm going along to take care of Lucy while everyone's at the graduation festivities. she's almost 2 1/2 years old, but my sister just doesn't feel Lucy's quite ready to watch herself yet. hey, i'm not complainin'.

yes, most of you have probably heard by now, but it's the biggest news of my life for the week so i will say it again. i saw my 1st scorpion this week and it was horrific. it's tail alone was about 3 inches long. and andy said it was a "little" one. pssssccchh. if that was little, i don't want to see what's "normal". the good news is that it was dead. supposedly they crawl out into open areas when they're about to die, and so that's what this one had done. oh and i walked into my room last night and was greeted by a 2-3 inch long cockroach. he (or she, for that matter. i didn't take the time to inspect it's sexual orientation before yelling for help) is now sufficiently squished into various pieces and shoved under the crack in the wall, thanks to Kiedis (a friend who came down for the week to help work on the house). i check on it periodically to make sure it didn't reattach itself and crawl away. apparently, you can cut the head off a cockroach and it'll live 'til it starves to death. so for all i know, this cockroach could very well reattach it's entrails and come after me.

sound the trumpets!! i have a ticket booked to fly home from July 3-11th! WOO WOOOOT!

i'm having a great time getting to know the people down here. and learning how life goes down here. it's almost a different culture, in some aspects. here's the shocker of the day: i haven't even been to the beach yet! i've been here just over a week now, and haven't gone to the beach! i came so close to getting to go last night, but then lucy ruined our chance by not listening to her mommy, so we didn't get to go. sad. i tried to explain to sadie that lucy is her own person, and if lucy wants to only eat candy and marshmellows for dinner, that's totally fine. but sadie just doesn't get it, i guess. (totally kidding :) i can't remember what exactly lucy did that got us all punished, but i'm sure it was cute).

alright dudes, i was going to write about what i've been learning lately but my computer has finished it's updates that i was waiting for it to finish and i want to go to bed. you go to bed, too.

keep it real.
~jen~

summer time is just around the weekend!

yes, i see you all sitting there with your jaws dropped open, your eyes wide and tears welling up. i am putting up a new post. the day has arrived. cheers errupt.

:D

it was has been one crazy semester. it started off slow and gained speed quickly. i've been working around 30-40 hours a week for the past month and a half, and i forget the fact that i'm also taking 18 credit hours :) it's just so hard to come home from work, after sitting in front of a computer for hours taking orders over the phone and doing customer service, and come home to just sit more in front of my computer to do homework and video projects. not my idea of fun. and therefore, i'm behind on some video projects. stink.

but! the good news of the day. i just turned in my 15 minute final video project. i just submitted my 21 page script (the inventor of double-spacing is my hero), 10 page outline of my script, and character biographies all for my scriptwriting class. and all i have left (school-wise) are 3 measley little finals that i'm not too worried about. praise the Lord!!

and the best news of all. a week from today, i will be crusin' in my car with Benton, down to fort lauderdale where we'll spend the night with our good friend Holly. then i'll drop Benton off at the airport on Tuesday and finish my trek down to the Keys for the summer! YEA! the time has arrived and i am so stoked :D it's going to be a stretching summer, but i'm so excited to see how God changes me and uses me in other's lives (i'm hoping i allow Him to use me, anyway).

my last final is Thursday at 8am. woot wooooot!

nancy, join facebook. everybody's doing it.

keep it real.
~jen~

"breathe"

another beautiful time at church this morning. i was so unsatisfied with "church" last semester. i didn't like what i experienced going on at churches i'd go to and i began to wonder if i'd ever find a church i could go to and not feel guilty going to. i did start going regularly (that's a relative term) for about a month to one church that was not as conservative as the church i went to back home but still not completely modernized. and i enjoyed it to an extent and there were some great messages but i still didn't feel all-around satisfied with going there. this semester i've started going to a new church and i absolutely love it. i've come to the realization (a very FREEING realization) that we all are drawn to different styles of churches. doctrinally speaking, there's not a lot of room to budge. but with the issue of the style of church, i've realized that it's okay to pick a church based on my preference of style (as long as, of course, it's doctrinally sound). and by realizing this, it's also allowed me to accept the way some churches "do church". it's not my way of doing things, but it's other people's ways and props to them for going to a church that they can serve in and be challenged & grow in. needless to say, my bitterness i had developed towards some places has greatly gone down and i thank the Lord for that because it was eating away at me daily.

so anyway, the 1st few weeks or so of this semester, the pastor was doing a series called "Home" and basically it was a series of messages teaching what the mission of this church was, why they were heading toward this specific vision, and how they were going to introduce new programs to the church. and what was so cool was that my whole idea of what the local church should be matches up nearly exactly with what this church's idea is. i'm just sad that after i'm done at liberty, i don't plan on living in this area and so i know my time at this church probably won't be too long-term. but - you never know, right? :) hmm...OR! or maybe the term "church plant" will take on a whole new meaning - it will mean taking a local church and moving the entire church body to a new location so they can continue with their mission together in a new place (obviously, that place would be wherever i end up moving to after liberty - hehehe :) it's not selfishness...well...okay maybe it is).

wow, am i rambling? yeah, pretty sure.

the message this morning was part 2 of a series called "Breathe". everyone fears something (or some-things) in life. we fear things (sharks!), people (public speaking - hello), death, the unknown (natural disasters, the supernatural, etc). we allow these things to paralyze us. i know i allow them to. the funny thing was, the pastor used the example of his fear of sharks, which i can strongly relate to (AND, oddly enough, it all goes back to him going behind his parent's backs and sneaking peeks of the movie "JAWS" when it was on TV when he was 7 or 8...hmm...sounds a lot like someone else i know...sorry mom & dad :) ). we fear people, not only speaking in front of groups, but we also fear what people think about us. we wonder if they're staring at the big zit we have on our chin or if they're secretly laughing hysterically at our bed-head hair. i can't tell you how many opportunities i've passed up in life because i gave in to my fears.

most of us know the passage in Matthew 6, the passage on "Do Not Worry". yeah, my Bible pretty much flips open to that page when you drop it on the ground. but do we actually live our lives like we believe it? i often think, "oh, that passage just means when you're tight on money and can't make ends meet". but it's so much more than that. it applies to every aspect of our lives. to overcome fear, we've got to accept God's care for our life. His indescribable love for us and His overwhelming desire to care for us when we humble ourselves before Him and realize our desperate need for Him DAILY. 1 Peter 5:6-7 tells us to humble ourselves before the Lord and He will lift us up in due time. "in due time" - this means we might be uncomfortable for a time, but God promises to life us up in His good and perfect timing. the verse goes on to tell us to cast all our cares upon Him because He cares for us.

where fear exists, love can't. and where love can't, we can't be really living the life God calls us to. when fear overcomes us and we don't trust in God's care, we pass opportunities from God up and aren't fully carrying out God's work He's given us. this is not to say God can never use us again once we drop the ball. but until we overcome our fears by trusting in God's care for our lives, we're going to continue missing amazing opportunities He gives us.

i like how the pastor put it - "when you partner with God, why would He not care for you?" Matthew 6 goes on to say, "But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." If you're fully surrendering your life (including your fears) to God, He WILL care for us completely and help us to carry out the plan, the purpose He has for each of our lives.

so, i don't know about you. but i've got a lot of livin' to do now. :) 1st thing's 1st - i'm goin' surfin'!!!! :D

(and please don't write me off as being shallow and assuming the only application i took away from this message was that i can now overcome my fear of sharks and live out my dream of going surfing :) this message of overcoming fear is life-changing if i (you) put it into action. let's get out there and start taking the opportunities God gives us to be used by Him in every area of life!)

wow, is it almost midnight? my 7:50am class suddenly seems a lot closer now...stink.

keep it real.
~jen~

a humerous Bible moment

so i'm reading Exodus 8 today in the mall parking lot (that's another story, but yes, the mall parking lot) and i came across something that made me laugh and re-read it to see if i was really comprehending it correctly. in chapter 8, God sends the plague of frogs on Pharaoh and the Egyptians. Pharaoh calls Moses & Aaron in and asks them to pray to God to remove the frogs. Moses is, like (okay, this is Jen-phrased, but it's accurate, go check for yourself :) ), "Alright, sure, when do you want me to pray that?" and Pharaoh says, "Dude, like...tomorrow." TOMORROW!? what? did he seriously want to have one last night of sharing his house with tons of frogs hopping and pooping (yeah, frogs do that too) everywhere? i don't understand the man. but it's Pharaoh we're talking about, i mean...c'mon, it took losing his firstborn son in order to let him let the Israelites out of slavery and even THEN he chased after them. it just stumps me as to why Pharaoh asked Moses & Aaron to pray "tomorrow" instead of "RIGHT NOW!" crazy man.

i drew a picture of a butterfly today. okay, no i didn't. but i did finish my perspective drawing of the corner of my room and my dresser. it's due in my art class tomorrow. and i must say, it turned out much better than i planned. you can actually tell what it is. who says miracles don't happen? :) i'm horrible at drawing, but i have to take this class in order to take any graphic design classes. go figure.

i've discovered this amazing new technique in life recently. it's called "getting things done instead of sitting down and thinking about what i have to do". it's amazing! i've discovered that writing a quick note and sticking it in the mail to send to a friend (yes, SNAIL MAIL! :::gasp:::) is incredibly easier than i thought. mailing checks in to pay for bills is also extremely easy if you just take a couple minutes to write the check and put it in the envelope. even going to the gym fits in this category. my 7:50am class was canceled this morning and since i wasn't able to sleep in (a house of 4 girls means non-quiet early mornings) i laid in bed thinking about how i should go to the gym. BUT instead of deciding on a satisfying excuse to not go, i decided to just get out of bed and go to the gym, even if i only ran on the treadmill for 5 minutes (thankfully, i did exceed that goal on the treadmill, but not by much). and guess what. i felt great the rest of the day because i made the decision to just do it, even though i didn't really want to at the time. oh! and i've also discovered how easy it is to just snap a quick picture of yourself and send it to people for a random bit o' fun!

just call me miss productive from now on. or rita watson. whichever you prefer.

keep it real.
~jen~

66 n 06

as most of you who read this already know, i just got back to my house at school tonight after a busy weekend trip home! i got to fly home for bree's wedding, which was SO much fun! i think it was the fastest trip i've ever taken home. flew home friday afternoon, flew back sunday afternoon. but it was worth it. i even got home in time to catch the end of 2nd quarter and the rest of the super bowl game :D

so, 66 n 06. what is it? it's a commitment that the campus pastors at LU have been encouraging students to make this year. it's reading through the Bible in one year (hence, 66 books of the Bible in '06...and yet still i know there's SOMEONE out there who's still not catching on...haha okay just kidding :)). anyway, i'm reading through the Bible this year, something i've never actually accomplished since my parents did it with me and my sister when we were in elementary school (wow, that's embarassing).

anyway, so i started it a week or 2 ago. and this past week we had a speaker come to LU and he was talking about how we lack so much in our view of how big God really is. How powerful and in control He really is. he pointed out a few people in the Bible who had atleast a little bigger view of God. like Moses, seeing God part the Red Sea. David, seeing God empower him to overcome Goliath. these guys trusted in the Lord as they carried out what God had called them to do. the tasks seemed impossible. but they got to see a glimpse of God's power. their view of God was increased. so this speaker dude encouraged us, as we read anything in Scripture, to allow the Holy Spirit to increase our views of God. that we may see and learn more and more about God from every single passage we read. because the Bible is...well, it's essentially all about God. so just in the past week, as i've continued reading thru Genesis, i've been trying to read it with the mindset of, "okay, how is God moving in this passage? where is the hand of God?" and it is so amazing!! it's not always easy, mainly because i'm not used to reading passages with that mindset. sometimes i find myself just looking for the places where it says "And the Lord said..." or whatever. and while, yes, that counts...it's kinda cheating :)

God stokes me so much. i'm so excited to see what God will do in 2006 in the lives of people i know, especially in my family, friends, and well...my own life as well.

keep it real.
~jen~

the hook-up

oh happy day, we're getting cable internet today at our house!! blogs will be updated much more regularly, children will be singing in the streets (joyfully, with full bellys), and we shall eat fattened calfs!

wow that's random.

more-regularly-updated blogging to occur in the short, near future.

keep it real.
~jen~

joyful joyful

quick post. just checked the 10-day forecast for lynchburg, VA and the day after i get back there, it's supposed to be 65 degrees. beautimus. absolutely beautimus. i actually teared up, i was that excited. :D

statistics

from woodtv.com:

"Today represents the 46th day in a row that Grand Rapids and most of the rest of West Michigan has received a trace or more of precipitation. Also we've had 14 days in row with no sunshine. If we don't receive any today then we will have tied the all time record."

they make it sound like they WANT to tie the record. sick people.

12

when you hear the number "12", what do you think of? perhaps you think of the number..."12". okay, so we all probably do. but get past that. think deeper. you may think "12" months of the year; "12" days of Christmas"; "12" tribes of Israel (?? it sounds right...). but i bet you would never think of what i am about to associate with the number "12". today marks the 12th consecutive day of total cloud-cover in Michigan. for those of you who live in more sun-drenched places (ie, anywhere but michigan), that means we have not seen even a hint of the sun in 12 consecutive days. you go outside at 11am and feel like it's 5pm. it's dark. it's drizzling. it's foggy. it's total evidence of the Fall of Man, if you ask me.

sometimes i like to lay on my couch, floor, bed, anything flat, and close my eyes and pretend to be in a warm, tropical environment. i repeat to myself over and over the fact that i will be in the Florida Keys for my spring break in march. not only do i have that to look forward to, but i quite possibly might be spending my 3 months of summer living in the Keys working with a youth ministry down there called STS (student to student).

okay, totally did a segway (spelling?) there - man, that was smooth.

for those who didn't catch it, yes, i am in fact looking at heading down to the tropical Keys this summer and interning with the ministry down there where my sister & bro-in-law are working. andy called me about a week before i came home for Christmas break and asked if i'd be interested in interning down there to help out with the ministry, specifically with videography. i have wanted to work with STS for a few years now and i came close to going down there for a couple months about 2 years ago but totally didn't have the money to do it. there's such a darkness in people's lives down there, including the kids'. i'm so stoked to even have the opportunity to go down there finally and help.

so if God randomly brings it to anyone's mind, i'm asking that you pray for me as i finalize plans to go down there. i'm not totally set on going down yet, so i'm praying about it and praying that God will give me a peace about which route to go with my summer.

here's to the sunshine.

keep it real.
~jen~