ahhh...once again, i decided to set aside common sense and drank a huge cup of coffee at about 10pm tonight, thinking it would have no effect on me. i do this all the time, and it always ends the same - with me laying in bed for atleast an hour trying to fall asleep, even though i was so tired before i had that coffee. kristen's gone this weekend at a leadership retreat for the Fellowship (the Sunday School class we go to), that i couldn't go on 'cause of work. so 'Tino's spending the night tonight and she's totally out. i think it's the cold medicine she took. :) i'm sitting here in my bed with the computer screen pulled all the way across my desk so i can sit in bed and surf the web. tonight's just gonna be one of those nights where i'm going to ramble, so if you're not a fan of rambling, skip this post, yo.
um...what to write about...i really need to work on my blog for my "writing for mass communications" class. i'm supposed to update it every day and haven't for the past couple days. it's at indielaunch.blogspot.com if you want to check it out, 'cause you do. man...i have a lot i need to do but i have a hard time keeping track of it all 'cause i have 7 classes, work, and commitments i make to people that i need to follow thru on. i worked all 26 hours i was scheduled for this week! i'm excited, that'll be a nice paycheck next Friday. then i can get groceries. 'cause the week before i had my saturday off and left early for every other day i worked 'cause it was so slow, so i don't even know if i got 20 hours in...no, it must've been more around 16 or 17. i signed up today to do the next level of training to become a "CS2" - it's the customer service level, the level where you get the joy of dealing with irate customers with confusing problems that really aren't confusing, they just make it confusing. :D fun fun. but to stay on at J Crew, they're making everyone train to be on that level so our customers don't have to wait as long on the phone to get thru to customer service. i wasn't going to do the training because it's a 38 1/2 hour training week and i was pretty sure i was going to go home for the summer, but i'm starting to consider staying here for the summer again and working so i decided i might as well get the training in so i can be free to stay if i want. i found out yeoman and a lot of his friends are staying this summer so atleast i'd have people to hang out with. 'cause if no one was staying, it'd be SO depressing here in the summer since probably the majority of the Lynchburg population are LU students and they leave for the summer. :)
wow, i'm rambling. tino and i are trying out brentwood church tomorrow. then Redeemer next Sunday or something. i'm so stoked! i'm so excited about getting into a real church-church...but i feel SO BAD leaving the Fellowship...urgh, tough decisions.
alright i think i can fall asleep now. maybe. otherwise i'll just lay in bed and think about my delicious bass that my future husband is going to catch me.
keep it real.
~jen~
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Friday, February 25, 2005
some thoughts i don't want to forget
HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY MRISS!! (FEB. 25TH)
so here are just some things i have on my mind that i don't want to forget and i figured i might as well share them w/people.
1 - i was talking to my friend josh tonight (one of like...20 afinity josh's that i know...this one's yeoman) on the phone, getting info about his church that i want to check out, and he said a couple things that i hadn't thought of before or had forgotten about. i can't rememeber one of the things (i just remember going, "oh...wow, that's so true" though - haha) but one of the things was this: he mentioned that when he was younger, he always thought he was doing his best when he was doing good spiritually and doing good things and encouraging people...but he realized that was all in self-righteousness. he said you're most encouraging to others when you realize you DON'T have all the answers, that it's only because of a Holy God's sacrifice that we can even do anything "good". it's about humbleness. he said it more better than that, but that was a the jist of it. i know what i mean...haha i wish i knew how to say it better :) it's really late.
2 - this week was "missions emphasis week" (MEW) and God showed me some huge things this week that opened up to my mind to how lost the world is. like...dude, i don't understand how i can be so ignorant and callous to the fact that SO MUCH of the world's population don't even KNOW about Jesus Christ. i never NEVER considered going into missions...i always thought "well what would i do? i don't teach...i don't really want to live in the middle of nowhere in some unheard of country...i like the US, i like living in or nearby cities." but God is showing me that...dude...there's such a bigger picture out there, bigger than my wants and comforts. He commands us to take part in the Great Commission, whether we are "go-ers" or "senders". and i don't know why, but for some reason this week i realized how much God LOVES and DESIRES all those lost people in the middle of nowhere to know Him and to desire Him back. like, seriously...i was so stupid to think "oh, God loves us so much...us here, in the US"...thinking in such a small mindset, that He just desires us and not them...but that's so not true.
then i realized what it was i could do to help further the renown of Jesus Christ...on most if not all of the LU mission trips, people go along to do the video taping and then edit them into clips and videos and stuff. that's PERFECT for me, i love doing that, i have a passion to reach people through multimedia (both video and music). and even though i could "just" go to video tape the trips, i would obviously have chances to share Christ with people i come in contact with on the trips. and not only that, but come back and put together videos that will hopefully challenge and encourage people to put aside their own fears and comforts and get out there and spread the Gospel of Christ.
and that's what i'm really considering right now. actually, i've considered it a ton this week, i just need to be active in doing it. my goal is to talk to the missions department by the end of next week and find out what i need to do to be able to go on the trips and help with the video/multimedia work.
dude...i am so stinkin' tired. i've gotta get some sleep. another 8-hour shift day tomorrow at j crew, but i've had such good shifts the past 2 days that i actually don't dread going to work. i'd rather have that time to get a great workout in and do my own things, but hey...that's laziness and that's never kosher. :)
Proverbs 30:7-9 -- dude, check it out, that totally rocked my face off in my quiet time yesterday. i'll post the passage later when i'm more coherent.
keep it real.
~jen~
so here are just some things i have on my mind that i don't want to forget and i figured i might as well share them w/people.
1 - i was talking to my friend josh tonight (one of like...20 afinity josh's that i know...this one's yeoman) on the phone, getting info about his church that i want to check out, and he said a couple things that i hadn't thought of before or had forgotten about. i can't rememeber one of the things (i just remember going, "oh...wow, that's so true" though - haha) but one of the things was this: he mentioned that when he was younger, he always thought he was doing his best when he was doing good spiritually and doing good things and encouraging people...but he realized that was all in self-righteousness. he said you're most encouraging to others when you realize you DON'T have all the answers, that it's only because of a Holy God's sacrifice that we can even do anything "good". it's about humbleness. he said it more better than that, but that was a the jist of it. i know what i mean...haha i wish i knew how to say it better :) it's really late.
2 - this week was "missions emphasis week" (MEW) and God showed me some huge things this week that opened up to my mind to how lost the world is. like...dude, i don't understand how i can be so ignorant and callous to the fact that SO MUCH of the world's population don't even KNOW about Jesus Christ. i never NEVER considered going into missions...i always thought "well what would i do? i don't teach...i don't really want to live in the middle of nowhere in some unheard of country...i like the US, i like living in or nearby cities." but God is showing me that...dude...there's such a bigger picture out there, bigger than my wants and comforts. He commands us to take part in the Great Commission, whether we are "go-ers" or "senders". and i don't know why, but for some reason this week i realized how much God LOVES and DESIRES all those lost people in the middle of nowhere to know Him and to desire Him back. like, seriously...i was so stupid to think "oh, God loves us so much...us here, in the US"...thinking in such a small mindset, that He just desires us and not them...but that's so not true.
then i realized what it was i could do to help further the renown of Jesus Christ...on most if not all of the LU mission trips, people go along to do the video taping and then edit them into clips and videos and stuff. that's PERFECT for me, i love doing that, i have a passion to reach people through multimedia (both video and music). and even though i could "just" go to video tape the trips, i would obviously have chances to share Christ with people i come in contact with on the trips. and not only that, but come back and put together videos that will hopefully challenge and encourage people to put aside their own fears and comforts and get out there and spread the Gospel of Christ.
and that's what i'm really considering right now. actually, i've considered it a ton this week, i just need to be active in doing it. my goal is to talk to the missions department by the end of next week and find out what i need to do to be able to go on the trips and help with the video/multimedia work.
dude...i am so stinkin' tired. i've gotta get some sleep. another 8-hour shift day tomorrow at j crew, but i've had such good shifts the past 2 days that i actually don't dread going to work. i'd rather have that time to get a great workout in and do my own things, but hey...that's laziness and that's never kosher. :)
Proverbs 30:7-9 -- dude, check it out, that totally rocked my face off in my quiet time yesterday. i'll post the passage later when i'm more coherent.
keep it real.
~jen~
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
where are all the guys like THIS?
so today i realized how incredibly...encouraged and edified people can be just from overhearing a conversation...which is weird, and it's something i haven't really given much thought to before. but from experiencing it first hand today, i realized how much the conversations we have with people can affect those within the listening area (ha that sounds like a radio station, eh?).
so here's my story.
i'm sitting the computer lab in between classes, checking email and doing some homework. and this guy i somewhat know came and sat down at the computer next to me and his girlfriend sat down with him and he started talking to her (yeah, imagine that - he TALKED to his girlfriend...amazing. ha totally kidding, it gets better). now before i go further, let me just point out that i was sitting in the "quiet room" of the c-lab, so even though they were talking quietly, i still heard most of their conversation just because i have a hard time ignoring people when they're saying interesting things. if it's not interesting, i'm pretty good at tuning it out. :) kristen knows that. :D hehe (aw i love ya, roomie!)
ANYWAY - let me get on with it. he starts into this conversation by saying how he feels like God is calling him into missions, to give up fear of persecution and be willing to go where God would have him. and how he's never felt such a strong pull before in his life, but that he's so excited about it and he's not going to ignore it. and after explaining things a little more (i didn't catch EVERYTHING he said, i promise - haha) he says to his girlfriend, "so...that's where i am and i wanted to make sure if we're on the same page...'cause this is the direction i'm going and i'd love for you to come with me, but if we're not on the same page...". yes, ladies and gentleman, i almost witnessed a breakup i think. and i couldn't really hear her answer, but she seemed hesitant and whatnot. but i really don't know, and that's not the point.
the POINT is (yes, we're finally at the point of this story), i don't think i've ever heard a guy this age (our age, my age...whatever) ever step up to the plate SO much. you could just tell from his words that his vision and his focus is on God, and if the girl is willing to go along with him, awesome - but if not, he's going to continue on his vision w/ or w/o her. wow...i don't know, that just totally stoked me. a lot of guys just kinda sit on the side and don't have a vision for what they want to do for God with their life, and if they do they don't passionately pursue making it reality. but this guy was...and it blew me away 'cause i don't think i've ever heard someone talk like that in a casual conversation like that ('cause we all know we've heard tons of speakers talk about how they felt called and had a vision and stuff...which is awesome, and it's real, but this was like...REAL real - haha).
so then that kinda gave me a new perspective on marriage. and it's not a new perspective, but it made it even more real to me and reminded me of it. like...i want to marry someone that has a vision, that's on a journey with purpose and wants me to come along and partner with them. and i want him to be able to honestly and sincerely say, "look, this is where i feel God is leading me, i'm going to pursue after Him, and i would LOVE for you to come along but if not, this is where it ends for us."
ahhh...the practice of patience in waiting for him :) but i'm okay with that, i'm satisfied in God and have total peace about knowing He's in control of it all.
keep it real.
~jen~
so here's my story.
i'm sitting the computer lab in between classes, checking email and doing some homework. and this guy i somewhat know came and sat down at the computer next to me and his girlfriend sat down with him and he started talking to her (yeah, imagine that - he TALKED to his girlfriend...amazing. ha totally kidding, it gets better). now before i go further, let me just point out that i was sitting in the "quiet room" of the c-lab, so even though they were talking quietly, i still heard most of their conversation just because i have a hard time ignoring people when they're saying interesting things. if it's not interesting, i'm pretty good at tuning it out. :) kristen knows that. :D hehe (aw i love ya, roomie!)
ANYWAY - let me get on with it. he starts into this conversation by saying how he feels like God is calling him into missions, to give up fear of persecution and be willing to go where God would have him. and how he's never felt such a strong pull before in his life, but that he's so excited about it and he's not going to ignore it. and after explaining things a little more (i didn't catch EVERYTHING he said, i promise - haha) he says to his girlfriend, "so...that's where i am and i wanted to make sure if we're on the same page...'cause this is the direction i'm going and i'd love for you to come with me, but if we're not on the same page...". yes, ladies and gentleman, i almost witnessed a breakup i think. and i couldn't really hear her answer, but she seemed hesitant and whatnot. but i really don't know, and that's not the point.
the POINT is (yes, we're finally at the point of this story), i don't think i've ever heard a guy this age (our age, my age...whatever) ever step up to the plate SO much. you could just tell from his words that his vision and his focus is on God, and if the girl is willing to go along with him, awesome - but if not, he's going to continue on his vision w/ or w/o her. wow...i don't know, that just totally stoked me. a lot of guys just kinda sit on the side and don't have a vision for what they want to do for God with their life, and if they do they don't passionately pursue making it reality. but this guy was...and it blew me away 'cause i don't think i've ever heard someone talk like that in a casual conversation like that ('cause we all know we've heard tons of speakers talk about how they felt called and had a vision and stuff...which is awesome, and it's real, but this was like...REAL real - haha).
so then that kinda gave me a new perspective on marriage. and it's not a new perspective, but it made it even more real to me and reminded me of it. like...i want to marry someone that has a vision, that's on a journey with purpose and wants me to come along and partner with them. and i want him to be able to honestly and sincerely say, "look, this is where i feel God is leading me, i'm going to pursue after Him, and i would LOVE for you to come along but if not, this is where it ends for us."
ahhh...the practice of patience in waiting for him :) but i'm okay with that, i'm satisfied in God and have total peace about knowing He's in control of it all.
keep it real.
~jen~
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Sunday, February 13, 2005
question for the day
SO much i've been wanting to write down on here for the past couple weeks so i don't forget all i'm learning, but i just don't take the time to do it. :) sad.
so the question for the day...or week...or for however long you want it to be. in my theology survey class last monday night, Caner asked the class something to the effect of "if an unbeliever walked into your church back home, would they feel welcomed and want what the believers there have, or would they be turned off and not want anything to do with it?" so he then asked each side of that question separately and had everyone raise their hands that felt their church matched up with whatever side. honestly...okay now i'm sure this probably won't go over all that smoothly with some of the people that read this...but i could not raise my hand and say an unbeliever would feel welcomed and want to go to my church back home. i had to raise it to the 2nd part of that question...and that kinda scared me. at first i thought, "well maybe i'm just making a big deal out of small problems i see in our church" but the more i thought about it...i feel there really are some problems with my church back home that sadly cause unbelievers to visit once and never come again. i can't help but think of my parents (who are strong believers) and how hard it has been for even them to connect and feel welcome at our church because of the huge family-cliches issue. they still haven't connected with many people. now sure, some of that is their fault and they will admit that - they could always try harder, right? but at the same time, people shouldn't have to work hard to connect with believers at church. so when i think of the hard time they've had, as believers, i can't help but think it's even worse for unbelievers.
the cliches are just one of the issues, though it's a large one. i don't feel like going into the rest right now, but maybe i will later...if i'm bold enough. :) so you may ask "well why do you even write about it on here if you're not even brave enough to say it all?"...well because i just need to get it out, and it's not like i'm going to talk to any of you guys that go to our church back home about it :) i guess if you wanted to talk about it...sure, i'd discuss it i guess.
ah-ha, the lovely bentino just called so i can go pick her up from work. maybe i'll write more later, there's a lot i could write about from the past few weeks.
keep it real.
~jen
so the question for the day...or week...or for however long you want it to be. in my theology survey class last monday night, Caner asked the class something to the effect of "if an unbeliever walked into your church back home, would they feel welcomed and want what the believers there have, or would they be turned off and not want anything to do with it?" so he then asked each side of that question separately and had everyone raise their hands that felt their church matched up with whatever side. honestly...okay now i'm sure this probably won't go over all that smoothly with some of the people that read this...but i could not raise my hand and say an unbeliever would feel welcomed and want to go to my church back home. i had to raise it to the 2nd part of that question...and that kinda scared me. at first i thought, "well maybe i'm just making a big deal out of small problems i see in our church" but the more i thought about it...i feel there really are some problems with my church back home that sadly cause unbelievers to visit once and never come again. i can't help but think of my parents (who are strong believers) and how hard it has been for even them to connect and feel welcome at our church because of the huge family-cliches issue. they still haven't connected with many people. now sure, some of that is their fault and they will admit that - they could always try harder, right? but at the same time, people shouldn't have to work hard to connect with believers at church. so when i think of the hard time they've had, as believers, i can't help but think it's even worse for unbelievers.
the cliches are just one of the issues, though it's a large one. i don't feel like going into the rest right now, but maybe i will later...if i'm bold enough. :) so you may ask "well why do you even write about it on here if you're not even brave enough to say it all?"...well because i just need to get it out, and it's not like i'm going to talk to any of you guys that go to our church back home about it :) i guess if you wanted to talk about it...sure, i'd discuss it i guess.
ah-ha, the lovely bentino just called so i can go pick her up from work. maybe i'll write more later, there's a lot i could write about from the past few weeks.
keep it real.
~jen
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