Happy Place

Fact: when I was driving home from work in the beginning of the snow storm tuesday night, I put on my "Island Happiness" playlist on my iPod, which consists mainly of Bob Marley, Jack Johnson, and Josh Garrels. I should add more Braddigan to it, there's just one song on the playlist right now.

And this playlist makes me happy.

Stranded

I'm stranded at work today. Look at the picture. Would you drive in that?! I think from last night til this afternoon we've gotten around 8 inches maybe. Cristine is my favorite cousin ever (the rest of you...I love you all but today, she wins for best cousin ever). She took me to work today. :) She drove Zeva - Zeva did so well! I'm so proud of her. I think this was her first time even seeing snow. Although...I heard on the way home Zeva got stuck...and my Uncle came to the rescue. :)

Speaking of my Uncle Richard, he and my Aunt Toni rock my face off!!! Yesterday as I was at work and the snow began to fall, my aunt texted me and told me my Uncle cleaned out the garage so I could park in it!!!!!!! Zeva was so happy to get into the warm garage that she almost drove into the fridge.

Passin time at my desk during my lunch hour...

Kiera

Saw the dog out on the back porch...made me laugh :) I haven't seen her lay with her head like this before. And she has a sticker stuck on her rear. Hahaha rough day for Kiera...

get stoked: the teddy bear

i don't know how this link will work...experimenting...

i was reading thru some posts from last year. came across this one. i've been, once again, questioning if i put God in a box still. questioning "Holy Spirit" movements going on among various groups. processing thru, once again, my own experiences and skepticism. yet when i remember this moment, i'm reminded that God cannot be put in a box. that's not to say i believe everything that is supposedly "Holy Spirit" workings really is...but i'm just sayin'...i have to remember not to put God in a box and to remember to go back to the Word of God and see how it lines up with things that are going on.

so here's the link to the post...
get stoked: the teddy bear: we stayed at a Salvation Army community center in downtown Denver this week, having class in the morning and doing ministry in the afternoon...

almost a horrible day but totally a great day

we flew back from CA Saturday night, spent the night in Denver at Rachel’s and then she drove us to Cheyenne on Sunday.  so today was my first day back at work.

I was rushed getting ready for work – just one of those mondays where it totally felt like a monday and getting up and awake was one of the hardest parts of the day.  :)  hello, monday.

work was busy (as always…and I love that about this job!).  at lunch I was running errands and went to wendy’s to get lunch.  while in the drive-thru, a woman kept motioning to me and I had no clue what she was trying to tell me.  finally the guy working the drive-thru stuck his head out the window and yelled “you have a flat tire!”  I was borrowing a station wagon today, it wasn’t Zeva.  so I called my cousin and she came and brought me back to work.  and for some reason, the flat tire didn’t bum me out like they have in the past (not that I’ve had a lot of flat tires in my life…or…ok…maybe I have…).  I just laughed about it.

right after I got back to work, I was told I didn’t get the position I interviewed for.  to which I responded with a big smile because after interviewing for it, I realized I’m not at a time in my life right now where I want a full-time, hard-core job.  my whole reason for relocating up here was to pursue God whole-heartedly in the musical gifting people keep telling me He’s given me.  interning with Continuous Worship ministries.  and after being in CA all last week doing a worship seminar and helping with the worship at a pastor’s convention, I felt even more peace that this was the right direction to be heading.  so I’m totally stoked I didn’t get the job!  hahaha :)  and what helped, too, was hearing that I was so close to getting the job but someone else had a little bit more experience than me.  and they encouraged me to pursue a couple other openings that will be coming up.  I was glad I hadn’t bombed the interview (which was intense – being interviewed by a panel of 5 people).

I am, once again, blown away by seeing God’s hand on my life.  as soon as I got up here, I put my resume in to like 6 or 7 places.  didn’t hear back from any of them (they all were permanent, “real” jobs).  then this 6-week-ish temp job fell in my lap.  then the opportunity to interview for a permanent position came up and, trusting whole heartedly that God would direct me in this decision of work, interviewed for the job just in case that was what He had prepared for me.  it stokes me to look back so far and see how He’s kept me from getting a full-time, permanent job since coming up here.

I really want to be traveling with Continuous Worship, meeting and encouraging people and leading others into encountering the greatness of our God.  I absolutely loved what we got to do last week.

this morning before work, I asked God to help me with my responses when people at work asked how my vacation was or, more specifically, what I did on my vacation.  I was tempted to give the “I went to the coast, drove thru some redwoods, drove up Mt. Shasta…” and leave out the ‘I went out to help with a worship seminar and help lead worship at a pastors’ convention.”  but I didn’t want to be ashamed of pursuing God.  so of course, eventually the specific question came from one of my co-workers.  and, still to my own amazement, I gave the fully honest answer that included the ministry side of things.  I tried not to flinch as I said it.  haha :)  I mean, how does it sound to non-Christ-followers when they hear you flew somewhere to lead worship?  but it was cool – the person told me their brother was a pastor and their sister was a Sunday school teacher.  it was completely painless.  and I didn’t walk away thinking, “um…sorry, God, that I didn’t mention You in that response…”

so today definitely had events that I could’ve gotten bummed about.  it could’ve been a “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Monday”.  but it totally wasn’t.  I was so overflowing with joy at work today.  I can only attribute it to God’s grace in my life. starting off the day with Him and in His Word and prayer are so crucial.

is it worth it?

“I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power.” 1 Cor. 2:3-5 9 (NIV)

this passage came alive to me in a whole new way this week.  it’s one of those passages I know I’ve read before but it never really sank in until yesterday.  Todd (Nighswonger) has been teaching at the pastors’ convention we’re leading worship at this week in Grenada, CA.  he’s been teaching out of 1 Cor. 1-3.

I always think of Paul as being this super passionate, calm, collected guy.  but I don’t think that was always the case.

I’m reminded of the passage in 2 Cor. 12 where Paul talks about the thorn in his flesh that he had begged God to remove.

anyway, this passage resonated with me because I am a wreck before I get up to lead worship and/or speak.  seriously, a mess.  physically, emotionally, mentally…it’s a battle.  actually, last week (the week leading up to leaving for CA), I started questioning if it’s even worth it.  do I really need to continue pursuing growing as a worship leader and taking the opportunities that come my way?  is it worth the restless nights, the upset stomachs, the anxiety/panic attacks (I don’t know if there’s a difference between the 2…I just know whatever it is is not fun when it hits)?  is it worth the stress I go thru physically, emotionally, and mentally?

as I was wrestling with this question, the image of Jesus hanging on the cross came into my mind.  and as He was hanging there, in agonizing pain I will never comprehend, I heard Him yell to His Father, “IS SHE WORTH IT?!  IS SHE WORTH THIS PAIN??"

…ouch.  Jesus died for me.  He died for me. I was worth hanging on a cross, nails ripping thru His hands and feet, taking on the unimaginable weight of the world. I was worth it to Him because the Father loves me so much that He wanted me to be His child.

in light of what Jesus went thru for me, suddenly my struggles are…nothing.  He is totally worth it.

which brings me back to Paul.  he’s so stinkin’ inspiring.  even if I’m battling fear and shaking as I’m up leading worship, I’m going to do it anyway.  because He is worth it.

I am completely amazed and humbled that God uses us so powerfully in our weakness.