Wednesday, August 31, 2005

revived

ahhh - i have that peace tonight that i've felt many times before but hadn't felt it for a little while. the peace of knowing that whatever circumstances i find myself in, God is good, He is in control, and He's simply just...amazing. the joy of just sitting and thinking about Jesus and how awesome He is and what He's done for me. the awe that overwhelms me when i think of all the ways God continues to provide for me and knowing that He DESIRES me. man, it's a good feeling.

and it's exactly what i needed. imagine that - God giving me exactly what i need, when i need it - eh? :)

man, i wish it wasn't 11:30pm already or i would stay up and blog away! i am so stoked to be able to be at campus church once again...it's like a small taste of what heaven'll be like each time i go. tonight not only was the message challenging but the praise and worship was so beautiful. tonight was one of those nights where you could see God moving thru SO MANY people's hearts and it just gives you goosebumps and a big goofy smile on your face. man, i wish each and every one of you could be a part of our campus church each week. one of the most beautiful times tonight was when we were singing the song "Jesus' Blood (never fails me)" and the band suddenly started playing a lot softer and just let our voices fill the vine center and it was SO INCREDIBLE to hear people literally yelling, proclaiming the beautiful truth that Jesus' Blood never fails us. that fact alone has so many awesome promises to it. man...gave me chills :)

one of the beautiful truths i was reminded of tonight was that no matter where you are at in your walk with the Lord, it is never too late to just stop and say, "God - i feel distant from You, i have for awhile. i have questions, i have doubts, i have confusion. but i know You are Truth. i know You are Love. and i'm committing RIGHT NOW to pursue a deeper relationship with You." it hit me once again tonight that we often "talk" about needing to find answers and get back on track, and it's like we sit around waiting for God to "do something" or magically give us the answers we think we need in order to move on to a deeper, more passionate relationship with Him. one of the beautiful things about God is that He's ready for you when you come to Him, humble, broken, and longing to know Him more. longing to start your relationship over with Him again, in a sense. the time is now, make the decision to change and just do it. stop sitting around hiding behind the guise of confusion, stop picking up every "10 steps to a deeper relationship with God" book you see at the bookstore, and simply spend time with God. talk to Him. listen. be still.

amazing night, only because of an amazing God.

more to come.

keep it real.
~jen~

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

from hotel to basement to hotel to...?

oh praise the Lord! i turned on my laptop today in my hotel room to write up a blog and save it to post when i go to the computer lab tonight, and TA-DA! i got a beautiful little message on my screen saying "wireless network detected"!!!!!!!!!!!! the girls told me there wasn't internet here, but there sure is! it's $3.99 for access and it's a one time fee for your entire stay - definitely worth it.

SO...as you probably gathered by now, i'm back in a hotel room. i can see the north campus of LU outside my window, which is cool i guess. and it's a really short drive to class :) we're staying here 'til friday and then moving. to where? well...we don't really know right now :) our house is "supposed" to be ready on Friday for us to move into. so hopefully that will be our destination. if it's not ready, we'll move into an apartment or house to rent for a month because even if we're just there a few days (or more, for that matter), the rent for a month will be cheaper than having 2 rooms at this hotel for even 1 week.

so since i just "happened" upon the internet here, maybe i should go walking around and maybe i'll "happen" upon a pool...with palm trees and a wave pool with free surfboards to use.

man, thank you guys so much for the encouraging comments :) whenever i'm sitting in my room and start feeling down and about to lose my mind, things you guys said pop into my mind and it helps me keep a better perspective on things.

this is going to be just an update post on what i've been up to since i haven't been able to keep up on the posting. i'm still working thru the Velvet Elvis book and have a lot of thoughts to put down. which'll be so much easier with this newly discovered internet access :D even though blogging is common these days, i still feel stupid for pulling up my blog in the computer lab and typing up a post with everyone around :)

saturday we got up at 6am to go to virginia beach for ECSC (east coast surfing championship). we checked the weather and thunderstorms were forecasted so we didn't know whether to go or not. we decided to go back to sleep and get up at 9 and see if the ECSC website had been updated to let us know if the contest was still on. it wasn't updated, but we all wanted to go so bad that we ended up leaving at 10am and got there around 2:45pm. just in time to catch the last couple hours of surfing!! it didn't rain at all while we were there, but it was overcast so we didn't get much (if any) color. that's okay, it was so much fun!

then sunday we went to roanoke after church to go shopping with a ton of girls from our hall last year. SO much fun!!!! it was so great to be back with so many of the girls. we had a special hall last year, and it feels like a family reunion when we're together :) last year was great 'cause there was like...no drama whatsoever on our hall - just the way i like it. ;)

we're getting some remanants of the hurricane (katrina) today. maybe just dark clouds, but it finally stormed for a tiny bit about an hour ago. then the sun broke thru and i thought it was going to clear out, but it's dark again. crazy weather.

becky - this len overton guy must be really bored at work - he keeps calling me and asking me when you'll return his belongings to him. (inside joke)

well i'm so excited to be on the internet, so i'm going to go read YOUR guys' blogs and surf the web a little. then it's off to hip-hop dance aerobics class at 8! rock on :)

deeper thoughts coming soon.

keep it real.
~jen~

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

homeless

so...in a few days i will be homeless. my residence will be at the extended stay hotel just down the road from school. really trying to learn how to be content in any and all circumstances. :)

our house will probably not be ready for another 2-3 weeks. some people think 4 weeks. that's a month. that's approximately 30 1/2 days. or something like that. one of the most frusterating things is that the past 2 days i've driven by our house multiple times and all times, no one was working on it. that's frusterating.

i was living with jessica & jodi, they live in an older couple's basement. the couple noticed i was staying the night so they asked the girls what was up and they told 'em why i was there. they were cool with that, but they said they might ask me to pay them something to stay. so i'm thinking, "oh yeah, for utilities - that's cool, understandable. maybe like, $25 or something". today they told jess they'd like $150. let's see...stay at the hotel for free (the landlord is paying to put the girls up) or pay $150? not a hard decision. i'm sad, 'cause it was nice to be in a home and atleast try to feel like it was my place and settle in. now i'll be living in a hotel with hardly any of my stuff (it's all in storage here) and feel like i'm on a trip...and taking classes while i'm on it. i'm going to miss living with jess & jodi :( we're going to VA beach this saturday for ECSC (east coast surfing championship - same one we went to last year) - that'll be awesome!

classes started today. this was the first day of school i've ever had where i went without any supplies. i kinda forgot to go get notebooks/folders/binders with all the craziness of my living situation. so i brought a piece of computer paper to write on :) and after my first class i had just enough time to run to target and grab a notebook and folders.

so, God's really showing me how to be content with every situation right now. tonight at campus church, rob jackson talked about how we get so uncontent (discontent?) with our lives and things in our lives, but look at what Paul went thru and he was content. take that, jen.

well i'm at boonie's place on campus (our same apartment from last year! oh, fun memories!) drinking coffee and catching up on things on the internet (we don't have internet at the girl's house). i'm hoping at the hotel i have internet access so i can keep in touch with people more (although i DO have a cell phone...).

alright, i'm out.

keep it real.
~jen~

Monday, August 22, 2005

chic-fil-a ain't that grand

me and my parents picked up chic-fil-a today since we don't have it back in michigan. so here i sit, about 45 minutes later, feeling the chicken re-organizing itself and threatening to cause a revolt inside my stomach. boo on chic-fil-a.

i'm listening to my new mp3 player that i got for a stinkin' good deal off www.woot.com - very cool.

the chicken is firing it's first round of attack. i must go fight.

keep it real.
~jen~

Saturday, August 20, 2005

transitioning

sorry for the lack of updates this week. lots of stuff going on in the mind/heart, but not having time to post! i'm in a hotel room right now, in the process of moving back to school. the house we are moving into isn't finished yet (it's being built) so things are kinda crazy right now and will be for the next couple weeks 'til the house is done and we can get settled in.

as i was driving through west virginia yesterday by myself, i was listening to Shane & Shane and singing along every now and then. but then i sensed God speaking to me, and really laying this on my heart - how many times do i listen to all these worship/praise songs and sing along out of habit and not really concentrating on what i'm singing? and i felt like God was saying, "listen, these songs are great and I'm honored when you sing them to Me from your heart, but can you just turn off the music for a little while and talk to Me?" at first i tried to justify keeping the music on, but the voice inside my head just kept saying "turn it off, just turn it off". so i turned it off and spent quite a bit of time riding thru those beautiful mountains talking & praying to God and it totally refreshed me, spiritually and emotionally. one (out of many) thing i love about God is that you can just talk to Him - you don't need some drawn out, elloquent prayer. just converse with Him. man, He blows my mind :)

sometimes i get stuck in the mindset of just "following the rules" of the Christian faith and forget that my God is a personal God who wants me to have a personal relationship with Him. He's the best friend that will never hurt you in any way, not in the smallest way, and not even once. and He DESIRES for you to know Him, He DESIRES for you to just spend time with Him, like you would with your best friends here on earth.

well my dad has "The Terminal" on and i'm wiped, so i'm going to wrap this up. i'm stoked to see and experience God move thru lives here at Liberty this year, and i'm just as stoked to hear about how God is moving thru my friend's lives back home.

Jesus is what? Jesus is awesome!

keep it real.
~jen~

Sunday, August 14, 2005

alone on the beach

some people honestly feel sorry for you when you tell them you went to the beach by yourself. i don't know why, because obviously you aren't being forced to go - it's your choice to get in your car and drive there :) so as a disclaimer, don't feel even a hint of sorryness for me for the following story, because i'm just telling you what i did tonight and i'm not looking for pity because there's absolutely no need! now on to my post...

man, tonight at church just really...well, it made things even worse for me in my struggle with church/beliefs/etc.. everything i've been reading in this velvet elvis book was spoke against tonight. which would have been great if i hadn't been agreeing with what rob bell says in his book. that's the problem. i'm reading his book and thinking "wow, you know...i think he has some good stuff here" and then go to church tonight and hear that all that stuff is dangerous, horrible stuff. real smooth, jen. the confusing part is, i still agree with what rob bell says right now. the hard part is knowing that the majority (if not everyone) in my church family disagrees with it severely. so who's right?

from what was said at church, however, it sounds like the accusations were based off of quotes pulled out of context from bell's book. that's something i've realized a lot as i'm reading this book - rob bell is probably one of the most misquoted men alive. seriously. you have to know his way of speaking/communicating. sometimes he says things to the extreme in a sarcastic manner. sometimes he has a point he's trying to make and if you just take 1 paragraph out of his chapter explaining his meaning, yeah, he sounds horrible. but when you read what he's really saying behind that one paragraph, everything changes. one of those quotes is where rob bell says he can't see how people can believe in "Scripture alone". :::anti-bell-ers gasp::: yeah, sounds bad, huh? well if you read the rest of what he's saying in the chapter, he explains that the reason you can't have just "Scripture alone" is because along with Scripture, you have to have people interpreting what everything says. think about it. you don't read the new testament and take everything word for word, do you? if you say you do, and you're a woman, i would assume you keep your head covered when you're worshipping then, right? well you must, because in 1 Corinthians 11 it says all women should have their heads covered in worship. HOWEVER - people have interpreted that to mean it applied to that certain group of people that Paul was writing to, and women these days don't need to do it. it's an interpretation. yes, God's Word is sufficient - but we interpret and take meanings out of it and do not take everything literal, word for word. that is what bell is meaning by saying you can't have just "Scripture alone" as people say. because automatically, people add their own views/opinions/interpretations that they get from Scripture to base their faith off of.

am i making sense? does it make sense? is it wrong?

so it seems to me that the problem comes down to 1 of 2 things: either -
1, people against what bell teaches have not taken the time to read what he has said and to read the text surrounding his quotes, and if they did, they would affirm what he's saying,
or
2, these people really have honestly studied what bell says and he really is off and dangerous and yet...i'm falling for it.

if the answers 1, then i've got a whole lot of people to convince to read the rest of what bell's saying. if the answers 2, then i'm heading down a dangerous road that i don't want to be on but don't really see the dangerousness of.

and so comes the confusion. the boggled mindedness.

and so we come to the beach part. i went to grand haven tonight and go to the beach JUST in time to see the sun slip behind the clouds. what a beautiful sight! it's such an awesome sight that God creates uniquely each night. so i took my beach towel and Bible sat on the beach for a little bit reading and contemplating. i didn't come to any conclusion, but it was so great just to be at one of my favorite places (the beach), alone with God. i stayed out at grand haven for about 45 minutes, then headed back home. i love driving in my car by myself. 'cause i can sing and worship God and it's just me and Him in that car. there's really no conclusion to my night, so i'll just leave you with one of the songs that really reminded me of ultimately, what life is about:

"it's all about You, Jesus. and all this is for You. for Your glory and Your fame. it's not about me. as if You should do things my way. You alone are God, and i surrender to Your way."

so much more i could write, but since i don't even know what's right or wrong tonight, i'm just going to stop rambling right about..............

now.

keep it real.
~jen~

Saturday, August 13, 2005

bogus comments

okay, so i can't figure out how to delete comments, i thought i had seen a way before. anyway, some stupid thing went thru and added bogus comments to a lot of my posts, so if it's posted by an "annonoymous" person, it's retarded and just ignore it.

anyone know how to delete comments?

back to reading velvet elvis.

keep it real.
~jen~

Thursday, August 11, 2005

freedom of expression

i was laying in bed this morning listening to the radio while i was trying to motivate myself to get up and get ready for work. i can't remember what the dj's were talking about...oh yeah, one of them said his daughter was standing in front of her mirror and singing priase songs at the top of her lungs and couldn't care less who saw/heard, and the dj's talked about how much that changes when you get older and start to care what others think, and then one of the dj's says, "wouldn't it be great if you could go to church and be able to have freedom of expression? to be able to sing at the top of your lungs in joyful praise and have the freedom to express yourself and not worry about what others think?" the other dj pauses and responds solemnly, "...yeah..." they both had that tone that kinda seemed to say, "yeah it would be awesome if it was like that...we wish it could be...why can't it? it'll never be possible...". almost like hopelessness in people ever being able to freely express their praise to God in any given church worship service. realizing they didn't really have anything else to add to the topic, they quickly moved into another song.

man, that sure hit the nail on the head for a big frusteration i've been feeling :) "freedom of expression" - i like that.

back to work.

keep it real.
~jen~

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

quick update

i did it. last night, i went out and bought the velvet elvis book. i justified it by using a 25% off coupon :) so i didn't pay full price. hey, it saved me almost 5 dollars! that's a couple lunches with large cokes.

the book's easy to read 'cause rob bell is such a good speaker/communicator. i'm on the 2nd chapter and i'll just say it's a very interesting read so far. i'll post more later...when i'm not on work's time :)

leann and valerie - thanks for the responses! i'll respond tonight after work (responding to a response from your blog?...that just sounds funny - haha)

keep it real.
~jen~

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

quoting out of context?

i'm reading a book (okay, so i'm "reading" a few books...but this one i'm really reading and i'm going to finish it :) ) by John MacArthur called Fool's Gold. it's kinda about the things that are catching on in the modern church and how to spot error among Truth. that's a bad summary of it though, go google it and read the description :)

ANYWAY, there IS a point to this post. one of the chapters examines the "Purpose Driven Life" book. a very interesting argument came up that i had never heard before, but now i'm really curious about it. i guess rick warren quotes a lot of 1-liners from the Bible and uses them to go along with what he's saying? i've never read the book, i'm just going by the examples this Fools Gold book gives. and macarthur says that that is quoting the Bible inaccurately just to support warren's views. at first, i'm like "well yeah, it is wrong to just take a phrase out of Scripture and use that to argue your point". but then macarthur says that some people argue that the apostles, and even Christ, pulled 1-liners out of the Old Testament to make some of their points...which is true. i wouldn't say "pulled" though, i would say..."quoted". now, obviously they had a right to do that because the New Testament is the Word of God and It is inspired so it's not like they were wrong to do that. but then the question arises - why do people these days who quote a phrase from the OT get hammered by some people for taking things out of context? is it wrong?

the only reason i can think of right now that it'd be wrong is because we aren't the apostles and our sermons/messages/whatevers aren't directly given by the Holy Spirit. well, they can be, but like...you know what i mean? :) we don't have the same authority that the apostles had in their writing. is that a valid point? and is that the only point that backs up stating that it's wrong to quote things from the OT?

one passage that some people (mainly baptists...and i don't know why that is, maybe it just seems like it 'cause i usually only talk about things like this with my friends and people i'm around...who are mainly all baptists) really give people a hard time on is when someone quotes Jeremiah 29:11 which says:

"11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
there is so much truth to that passage and even though God is saying it to...shoot...the Israelites? i could be wrong, but He's saying it to a specific people group. :) but is it not true that God has a plan for each of our lives? is it not true that God only has our best in mind? to say that we can't claim that passage as Truth for our lives is...man, i don't know, it just doesn't seem correct to say that.
alright, my break time ended a little bit ago, i gotta get back to work. thoughts, opinions, views, definitely welcome. i also accept money donations into my paypal account.
:D (BIG smile)
keep it real.
~jen~

Monday, August 08, 2005

question for the day

a question for you guys - post your opinion (ooh how fun! look, it's interactive!)

what do you think is more important - a church that has a huge outreach and produces many weak (new) Christians and a few strong Christians or a church that has little outreach and produces few new Christians but produces a large amount of strong Christians?

in other words, i guess it can be summarized by saying this - is it better to focus on getting people saved or better to concentrate on giving saved people head knowledge?

this question came up in a conversation i had last night, just curious to see what people's thoughts are.

keep it real.
~jen~

in search of a free Velvet Elvis

now that's an odd title, eh?

i want to read Rob Bell's new book Velvet Elvis so bad. like, incredibly bad. i just don't want to spend money on it 'cause i've heard a ton of criticism about it. so i feel like i'm contributing to his cause if i buy it, and as much as i've tried to defend Bell and Mars Hill, the danger signs just keep piling up against them. therefore, not really sure what this book is going to have in it, i don't want to support it with my money if it does indeed contain tons of danger signs in it.

my sister left me a voicemail this week saying her mother-in-law sent them down a copy of it and she absolutely LOVES the book. that makes me want to just give in and pay for the book, so i can read it for myself. i'll probably just end up forking over the money for it.

i knew when this book hit the stores it would either cause a huge debate surrounding it or it would be an amazing book that would catch a lot of attention and then be considered another "purpose driven life" or "prayer of jabez" - where if a book is super popular among Believers, it MUST be bad :) i've never read either of those books though, so i can't really give my opinion on them.

sorry if this post is kinda like...repeating itself and jumbled together. it was a short night last night and my dog started my day on a bad side by peeing right next to my bed...while i was still in bed. how pathetic is it when your dog can put you in a bad mood? haha :) trying to wake up with coffee...

oh yeah, 1 more thing. what was really cool was i found out gabe is reading the same book i'm reading about the emergent church, and it's a really hard book to read 'cause the dude's like - super smart and writes really like...smartly. :) so hopefully gabe can tear though it a little better than me and summarize the parts i don't understand (...which will probably be atleast half the book). AND i found out last night that ben vz has studied a lot on the emerging church and stuff, so now i have 2 people i can ask questions to! that's cool 'cause before, hardly anyone had heard of the emerging church movement and i was trying to study it on my own and i'm not really smart so i wasn't getting that far in my "studying" of it. but it's a movement that i know is going to all of a sudden explode and i want to know what i believe about it so i don't get caught up in it. and i'm afraid i already am a little, i'll admit.

keep it real.
~jen~